WHAT: The WLS-AM “Talk Star” Contest for 2013 LIVE! Finale
WHEN: Today (August 21st, 2013) at 6pm CST
WHY: Support our friend Megan Fox for the win!
HOW TO LISTEN: Go to the WLS-AM website here: http://www.wlsam.com and then click on the LISTEN button in the upper right of the screen. It’s a poorly designed website and they make it hard to listen live, but it’s worth it to stare at the screen until you figure it out. There’s also some kind of APP thing for the phone that says “I Heart Radio” but Hell if I know how that works.
VOTE FOR MEGAN FOX — text STAR to 68683 and then choose MEGAN FOX
[ Click above to embiggen: the 2013 finalists for WLS-AM’s “Talk Star” ]
Our good friend Megan Fox has entered herself into the WLS-AM “Talk Star” competition again this year; she wrote all about that HERE if you didn’t see it already. I thought we could all listen to her show together and figure out how to vote for her so she can win…but the WLS website gives no indication whatsoever how to do that. Did you ever watch that show “Newhart”, the one in the 80s where Bob Newhart played the owner of an inn somewhere in Vermont (not the other show, where he was almost the same character but was instead a psychiatrist in Chicago in the 1970s)? I feel like his character from that show whenever I go to the WLS website…because it’s like crazy people or children who are supposedly more precocious than they really are built their site. I could not find information I’m looking for there if my life depended on it. I swear I’m only 37 but that site makes me feel like I’m 80 and can’t figure out how to get the VCR machine to stop blinking. It’s just bad.
The only time I ever go there is when Megan’s in some kind of contest, and year after year that site just never gets any better. I almost think it’s on purpose at this point, like they just don’t want people to find the information but they can claim it was on a page somewhere but people were too befuddled to find it. If you are sharp enough to spot how to vote for Megan in this contest anywhere on the website, please chime in below in comments and tell me or email us at (HillBuzz@gmail.com). I sent Megan a text thingy and asked her to give me good instructions so I can post it here, but I never know if I sent that text to the right person. My boyfriend Justin usually handles all this technical stuff but he’s in Arkansas right now visiting his parents…and that leaves me to manage year-2013 technology with my year-1993 capabilities, which is never pretty.
500pm CST – Waiting for the contest to start. On the radio, there’s a lot of commercials for cleaning companies and things. Chicago’s a dirty place, evidently. It’s so weird to hear commercials, since I stopped watching live network tee-vee years ago and I almost never listen to the radio (unless it’s Rush…but even then I just don’t tune into the radio much). I watch everything on Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Instant, or sometimes on the websites for the various networks…so encountering commercials is just bizarre at this point. It’s especially strange because the ones on WLS radio are all for the aforementioned industrial cleaners or concrete companies or home improvement project people. It’s hard to pay attention to any of them.
I don’t know if you remember, but Megan Fox entered this “Talk Star” contest last year and I still have bad feelings over what happened to her and several other contestants back then. I actually think that WLS-AM violated the Communications Act of 1934 (the 1960 amendments)…because I don’t believe the contest was fair last year due to the activity of one of the hosts, a jackass named Bruce Wolf. The Communications Act was amended in 1960 due to the public outrage over the “Quiz Show Scandals” of the 1950s…where popular quiz shows were rigged so that the people the producers wanted to win would win the prizes after receiving unfair advantages. During last year’s “Talk Star” contest live-on-the-air, Bruce Wolf purposefully interrupted, talked-over, and otherwise stole air time from several of the contestants…but not the woman who ultimately won the prize (a woman named Stephanie who marketed herself as a black female conservative…which sure seemed to be the person that WLS marketing and PR wanted to win the contest all along). Stephanie, by the way, repeatedly said over and over that she had no interest in being a “Talk Star” but only entered the contest so she could win the vacation trip being offered.
Megan Fox was one of the people that Bruce Wolf screwed over. I just realized how weird it is that they both have “animal last names”…so it almost sounds like this happened in a cartoon, where “Wolf steals Fox’s time”. But, that’s what happened last year. Megan would try to talk, but Bruce Wolf would interrupt her and would tell fart jokes while she tried to do her on-air audition for the contest. I couldn’t believe it. Bruce kept insisting that he’d eaten onion rings or curly fries or something at the restaurant where the contest was taking place…and he just had to let all the listeners know that the food he ate at the restaurant had given him explosive gas. Meanwhile, Megan (who was up first in the contest) kept trying to speak and Bruce wouldn’t let her get any thoughts out; Bruce was just too obsessed with telling the radio audience about his newest farts. It was so bad, he had to have been doing it on purpose to take her air time away from her…but he did NOT do this same thing to the two black contestants on the show (Stephanie and a man named Faraud Muhammad).
I could live to be 100 and I’ll never forget this, because it was just so blatant. Bruce did it to Megan and then did it to a few other people…but when it came time for the woman who ultimately won, Bruce got astonishingly quiet and allowed her to talk as much as she wanted. He similarly allowed Faraud to speak unhindered as well. This is my own personal opinion, but I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Remember that I was a registered Democrat until the year 2008 and I do not believe in coincidences where elections or contests are concerned. I’m just saying that if I was hosting a radio contest and I wanted a certain person to win, I could think of no better way to stack the deck in favor of that person than what Bruce Wolf did last year…by just interrupting, talking over, and generally ruining all the other contestants’ time on the air…but leaving the person he wanted to win alone.
That’s what I think violated the Communications Act of 1934 and the “Quiz Show” amendments of 1960…because Congress made it illegal to rig contests like that or to stack the deck in anyone’s favor. But, that’s exactly what I believe Bruce Wolf did last year. I don’t think I’ll ever let that go. There should be a giant neon asterisk whenever that “Talk Star 2012″ contest is mentioned due to Bruce Wolf’s meddling in the process.
I just want to be really clear that I don’t speak for Megan on that. While I think she should have won — and would have won last year if not for Bruce Wolf’s interference — that’s just my own personal opinion. She’s a friend of mine, but this is my site and it’s my opinions and she’s probably horrified that I am writing about this. But I just can’t get over the unprofessionalism of Bruce Wolf…especially when big prizes are at stake. Megan does not feel the same way as I do about this and has told me repeatedly to get over it and that she believes it was “God’s plan” for Stephanie to win…but I remain convinced that Bruce Wolf did what he did to stack the deck in Stephanie’s favor at the expense of the contestants whose time he ate up with his incessant fart jokes.
In addition to getting the opportunity to do a two-hour show on WLS (it’s a one-time thing, but that two-hours on the air results in a professional demo tape that’s worth its weight in gold for someone who wants to have a career in broadcasting) there’s also a trip to Mexico on the line too. Personally, that sounds horrible to me, because Mexico’s such a terrible place…but a vacation is a vacation in this economy (and no doubt scores of people would risk Montezuma’s Revenge and other perils in that failed state for some R&R in the Gulf). The woman who won the contest last year said on the air she just wanted the vacation and didn’t care about being on the radio, which I think is just a slap in the face to people who actually want to use this contest to break into the radio business for a professional career. Megan says this woman is very nice and has become a friend of hers now so I promised not to say anything bad about her…but she really said that thing about just wanting the vacation. She can’t take that back and rewrite history now…but I won’t say anything bad about her regarding it. I sure can think it though. Because even if she really felt that way it was still a dumb thing for her to keep saying over and over again.
530pm CST — There’s an obnoxious commercial on now for something called 1-877-Cars-For-Kids…which is encouraging people to give their cars to children for tax breaks. I think I know what they mean to say, and that’s that people can donate unwanted cars to the charity and they will sell them and give money to children’s charities. But, if you are an English-as-Second-Language person (and when the Cocktail Party Republicans force amnesty through to Democrats’ thunderous applause in upcoming months that will be millions of additional people) then I wonder if you’d understand the whole “cars for kids” thing. The jingle just has a bunch of kids screaming into the microphone and “singing” about giving cars to kids…which just sounds dangerous. I wonder how much money it costs to have an ad on this station. Clearly, that “Cars for Kids” thing cost $100 or less to produce as a spot. Maybe the kids produced it themselves….while riding in cars. Cars that people gave them to ride around in for no reason. Because charity.
537pm CST — they’re doing that little news break thing, talking about the San Diego Mayor who has been groping people but who refuses to leave office. I just give up, folks. I really do. The American people keep electing perverts and creeps to office…and even when they are exposed as such these guys still cling to power. It was not all that long ago that guys like this would have resigned in disgrace and would have never been heard from again. I think it was only 2006 when that happened…like when Mark Foley (who molested Congressional pages) and Larry Craig (who was caught toe-tapping for sex in an airport men’s room) resigned in disgrace and ere more or less never heard from again after that. But, here in 2013 we have Anthony Weiner running around embarrassing himself…and actually competing with Elliot Spitzer to be the most disgusting human being seeking elected office in New York state at the moment. And on the opposite coast, there’s this guy in Sand Diego whose name I refuse to learn. Because they are Democrats, the State Media allows them to continue their antics…but, really, these guys should walk away and disappear into the shadows. Before the “Golden Age of Hope and Change” that we’ve been enduring since 2008, I bet they would have.
Though, maybe all of this is a consequence of Bill Clinton’s shame in 1998…and the fact that the Millennial Generation and Generation-Y (my age cohorts) grew up or came of age during the Clinton Impeachment Hearings…and maybe that normalized these types of antics enough for pollsters to conclude that guys like Weiner and Spitzer need to just keep running, despite being depicted as sexual deviants. It’s such a weird time to be an American in 2013…because on one hand the Baby Boomers are in power, with the most radical of them shoving every crazy 1960s Leftist idea they’ve ever had down our throats at every available opportunity…and on the other hand we have the growing clout of kids-turning-into-adults who were raised in public schools that indoctrinated pure Leftism and hatred of America into their hearts. That’s such a devastatingly destructive combination…and we have 15 more years until the Baby Boomers are either all gone or are in retirement homes.
Such a scary thought.
541pm CST — this is the point where I’m waiting for something to come on the air and I start thinking I’m on the wrong channel, because right now several idiots are talking about some kind of sports game. Specifically, they’re talking about Tony Roma’s having “big stats”. I’ve had ribs and barbecue chicken at Tony Roma’s recently (in Iowa, actually, on a road trip with my friend Penny) but I’ve never tried their stats. I think it’s fascinating that straight guys will have long and involved conversations using all sorts of memorized numbers about sports. I believe they’re talking about football, but it could be baseball. This is the cure for insomnia for a gay guy, let me tell you. But, in fairness, if someone was having a conversation about reigning supermodels of the early 1990s I could hold my own and whip out measurements and career highs for Linda Evangelista, Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford, and the like. It’s just kind of amazing to me that straight guys spend their free time memorizing facts about other guys who run around in tight sports costumes…but gay guys have their heads full of trivia about gorgeous women that you’d think the straight guys would be interested in. That’s hilarious to me.
They’re talking about “fantasy football” on the show right now…which, as I understand it, isn’t even real football. It’s some kind of pretend thing that guys talk about, where they imagine that certain guys they like are all on the same team together (and wear jerseys they designed themselves no doubt, if they are bi or at all gay-curious). They’re debating who is the best “tight end”…which is not all that different from a conversation you’d overhear somewhere in Boystown right now, but in a different context.
550pm CST — So, the contest is supposed to start in ten minutes…but they were still talking about “fantasy football”. I know this is probably not true, but if it’s truly “fantasy” then I think they should have unicorns and dragons and things on the team. Maybe they could limit the number of creatures on each side — so it could be both fair and more realistic — but if they insist on using the word “fantasy” then they should be required to engage in at least something remotely fantastical.
Now it’s a commercial for “It’s Just Lunch”…where people can call and be on a date tomorrow. I’m sorry, but this “It’s Just Lunch” thing is just sad. There is something wrong with the guys who would participate in this. I know that a lot of women want to meet a guy and might not know how to go about it…but no man, straight or guy, who is worthwhile lacks the ability to find himself a date without resorting to a dating service. Especially if he has to pay to do this. If you are a woman and you hear the “It’s Just Lunch” commercials and think “I should try that!” then maybe you need to also think about what sort of men have been scraped from the bottom of the barrel and are ready on a moment’s notice to have a date with “It’s Just Lunch” clients.
There are so many better ways to meet good, quality guys. You should try church first…and join the Ladies’ Guild and get to know mothers and grandmothers who have nice single sons and grandsons. Another good idea is to lookup the baseball, soccer, rugby, and other amateur sports leagues in your town. Start going to those games…and strike up conversations with the women who are there rooting for their boyfriends. Make friends with them…and then they will introduce you to the cute single guys on the teams. I think that’s a better time investment than the “It’s Just Lunch” garbage. And it’s FREE! If my boyfriend Justin really does end up moving back to Arkansas to live with his parents again, then I’m totally going to become a fan of the Lincoln Park sports leagues and find a new guy this way myself. I think it’s a genius plan. Feel free to co-opt it for yourself, because we’re friends like that.
600pm CST — I swear it’s 6pm CST and the station says it’s WLS, but they’re still talking sports garbage.
Oh, wait…they just said the Talk Star thing is starting. Hooray! I hope that jackass Bruce Wolf controls himself this time and doesn’t interfere with the contestants.
The newscaster is saying people are complaining about Bradley Manning’s sentencing and are asking Obama to pardon him. Just watch: Manning will be pardoned in 2017 as Obama leaves office. I bet the deal on that is already done. The Millennial generation thinks it’s cool and “Jason Bourne” to steal state secrets and reveal them to the world…treason is sexy to these idiots.
They say the average ACT scores in Illinois are 20 points lower than in the past…but the school administrators say that the kids are not dumber. The tests are just Ray-Ciss, I guess. That’s the way to explain away all poor performances by the students in public school. In reality, the kids aren’t learning because the teachers are terrible…and the teachers are terrible because teachers’ unions exist and allow terrible people to be teachers. The public schools are an unfunny joke…and it’s all because we have not yet outlawed public sector employee unions. The scores will not ever go up unless that happens.
606pm CST — I think the contest is starting. Nope. Psych. More commercials. They’re also saying that Millennials are buying things online and are “living digitally”. Do people really need to be told this, or can’t they just observe that around them?
Now it’s the traffic report. The thing is, in Chicago, the traffic report is the same every day. If it’s light out, the roads will be clogged with cars on any highway. It’s because all the roads here were built to handle about half the amount of cars that actually are on the roads. Thank the geniuses in academia who did the traffic projection studies in the 70s when this infrastructure was built. Those are the same Leftist academics who pretty much control our entire government right now too, by the way.
LIVE! from the Improv in Schaumburg…the “Talk Star Finale!”. Let’s hope the hosts don’t cheat again this year.
That jackass Bruce is talking now. He’s such trash. He tries to do that “morning zoo” type thing….where he makes obnoxious “jokes” that only he thinks are funny. Jackass.
Who on Earth thinks this man is funny? He’s like a reject from the Poconos.
They’re announcing the judges. It’s all people I’ve never heard of. Some woman from somewhere. A lady from the marketing department. That woman who won last year (but only did it because she wanted the vacation).
611pm CST — First Contestant: Laura Kelly from Oak Brook. She says she’s scared, but wants to be a Talk Star. She says she moved to Oak Brook 26 years ago and everyone out in Oak Brook tells her she should be on the radio. I hope that’s not them saying she’s ugly and has a face for radio. I have no idea what she looks like, but she sounds like a nice woman. She’s using her time to talk about some old apartment building she lived in that had a grocery store in it. Laura says she is a libertarian and likes Rick Santelli. She says enough regulation, enough taxes, enough Leftist orthodoxy. She works for Goldman Sachs and says it’s a “different Goldman Sachs”. That made no sense. She says she dropped out of college to work at Goldman Sachs, but made enough money so she never had to go to college. This is a weird conversation. She talks about an exit strategy to leave Illinois, but her family is here. She likes to golf she says, but she gets bored at nine holes. That doesn’t sound like she really likes golf all that much. Though, truthfully, I’d get bored before I got to the little windmill or pyramid at mini-golf. That obnoxious Bruce keeps trying to make stupid jokes…but he’s not interrupting her like he did to people last year. I think someone took him to the side and stopped that. Bruce has told her she needs to sing and is screaming at her to tell people her favorite song. Bruce is complaining about having to be up since the morning — so why don’t they have someone else host this contest then and let Bruce sleep right now? Laura says she has three children who vote Republican. I really don’t like this woman, for whatever reason. Bruce makes his first fart joke of the night at 6:16pm CST… a horn blows to call time and Bruce says it was his farts because he had artichoke dip. That’s the kind of humor this man puts out there. It’s always about farts with this guy.
— Commercial Break —
It’s that “Cars for Kids” commercial again…donate your car to kids today. It’s a song…and they spell something out, but for the life of me when people are singing and spelling I become mesmerized and never catch any of it. It’s like people are talking pig Latin in front of me and I don’t understand a word of what they are saying.
Now, it’s some commercial for “the virtual last mile” that helps people learn how to keep up with changes to their cell phones for business. What the Hell kind of thing is this?
There’s a commercial for some college that powers itself using energy from cows…bovine energy. I don’t think it was a joke.
And then they’re talking about a viral video on YouTube of some woman who did something, and now she’s going on a cruise thanks to her viral video. I think it’s this one:
621pm CST — They say you can vote: text STAR to 68683…which counts for 20% of score.
VOTE FOR MEGAN FOX == text STAR to 68683
A “conservative Hispanic” is up next…what do you want to bet the station wants her to win this time, the way they wanted the “black conservative woman” to win last time. The marketing department loves that.
CONTESTANT 2 = Jasmina something or another. She’s Hispanic. You’ll hear that about 100 times. She peppers her speech with either Spanish words or with words accented with Spanish-inflection. Like you see on tee-vee. She also does that thing where every fifth word is said really loud. Like, “They are THERE…like Whos in Whoville they are THERE.” Jasmina is flirting with Bruce big time. She says she wants to stay in Illinois, but she says there is a pension liability in Springfield. She says she came from the East Coast to Illinois. She says she doesn’t look Hispanic and doesn’t have a Virginia accent even though she lived there. The one thing I will give this woman is that she does behave like the women they have on morning shows…when the woman acts like a sidekick and just makes little voices and things in between the men talking. She’s doing exactly that thing. She says that even in Virginia she was listening to WLS…which sounds like she’s just sucking up. Dan Proft asked her about the “War on Women” since Jasminia is both a woman and a Hispanic, so she’s a minority. Raise your hand if you’re sick of everything being about minorities. We live in the Tyranny of Minority in the year 2013. Can’t Jasmina just be a conservative woman…why does she need to try to score more points for being a conservative HISPANIC woman…especially since last year’s winner was the conservative BLACK woman. Do any of you out there get tired of the pandering like this as well?
— Commercial Break —
VOTE FOR MEGAN FOX…text STAR to 68683
I have no idea what they were just advertising, but it was a creepy old woman talking about dragons. And it was something to help kids with school. After that, there was a commercial about Asthma. That was the Will Rogers institute, which does not support dragons.
The news brief is talking about some kids who were almost hit by cars somewhere after school. I guess that’s a news story. Since something almost happened.
Now it’s a woman who sounds like she’s having a stroke, breathlessly talking about errors the government has made collecting data on people. She says the government will admit its mistakes. Don’t hold your breath, breathless woman.
Geesh, the news is depressing. Now it’s someone who almost kidnapped someone. And then on a campus somewhere a person shot someone with darts. I can see how if you listen to the radio all day you’d be cationic and terrified of the world, the way that Justin’s parents are so scared of everything. It’s because they only hear “news” like this constantly.
633pm CST CONTESTANT 3 = It’s 89 degrees…on channel 89 WLS. Live in Schaumburg. Bruce Wolf (the jackass) and Dan Proft (who is professional) are hosting this contest. So far, Bruce has made one fart joke but has not really interfered with any of the contestants like he did last year. This contestant says she is a suburban soccer mom who likes to drink wine, she’s Jennifer Gulberson Sale. She says she’s in a nerd beauty pageant come true. Jennifer says she is a big fan of Real Housewives. She comes off as an airhead. She said that “who isn’t under indictment?”. Dan Proft asked her about Lisa Madigan and Mike Madigan…and Jennifer just giggled and said “yah, they’re messed up”. She does that Valley Girl thing with her voice….where every sentence ends in a question mark and a high pitch. They’re talking about something called Bennett Academy, where her kids apparently go to school. Her husband is from Germany and she’s saying Deutschland is king. I beg to differ, Jennifer…you fool. Germany tried twice to be “king” and thank Zeus the US was there to stop that. Fool. Jennifer says she writes about nonsense and covers entertainment stuff on some site she has. I really don’t like this woman. She comes off as one of those Real Housewives people. She calls everyone a “goddess” or a “king”…she likes Anthony Weiner and calls him “Tony Sausage”. She says her kids are there and she’s talking about porn and then giggled hysterically. Bruce asks her about Benghazi and I half expect her to confuse that with Ben Vereen. She dodges the question about Benghazi and instead talks about “the dog getting on the plane”. She says “you’re talking to me like I’m blonde and don’t know nothing” and then giggled. Dan Proft asked her if she knows how to get home from here. That was TERRIBLE. Jennifer’s performance, not the thing Dan Proft said. The thing Dan Proft said was accurate.
— Commercial Break —
Megan made me promise to be nice to all the amateur people competing in the contest. And I am really trying to be. But, that Jennifer woman who was just on was irritating. And I really don’t like the whole “we have to have a minority win!” mentality that drives someone like Jasmina to say again and again that she’s “Hispanic”. I totally forgot about the first woman already, but if I strain to think about it I remember she made a lot of money at Goldman Sachs and doesn’t have to work anymore. So, good for her. But why does she need a free vacation and a radio show? I am being nice though because I promised I’d be nice.
6:44pm CST CONTESTANT 4 = A guy who was on last year. Megan knows him and says he’s a nice guy. He’s a black Muslim named Faraud Muhammad from Evanston. I actually like his radio voice. He was also a finalist last year…and he was one of only two people last year who was allowed to speak without interruption. Just him and the ultimate winner, Stephanie. Both black…and both were allowed to speak without interruption while everyone else was interrupted completely by Bruce Wolf. Funny how that worked out. But I digress. Faraud is talking about Benghazi, saying that “BHO was able to sleep at night during that anyway”. Faraud is a standup comic too. But he stumbles over his words a lot. He tries to use very long and complex words, but he stumbles getting them out with this timing. He does come off as a very nice guy though who I think would make a fun friend to have. I’d like to meet him and would be okay with him winning tonight because he’d be able to carry a show of his own, clearly. They ask him his favorite movie of all time…and he says 2001 Space Odyssey and he talks about how the film was shot and he’s doing a HAL impression. Faraud is likable and can do good impressions. They’re asking about Benghazi and Egypt…but he’s dodging and goes back to entertainment stuff. He says he’d like to do an interview show, and that he likes Bill Whittle on PJ TV. Bruce Wolf has no idea what Faraud is talking about. Faraud talks about how he would run a show and how he’d like to have guests on…so that tells me he knows what he is doing. He goes there, though: he refers to himself as a black Republican and says he statistically doesn’t exist. They had a black winner last year, though…so would they choose a black winner again? The horn blows calling time and — of course — Bruce makes a fart joke about the horn, saying “Faraud that was very inappropriate of you”…as if Faruad had passed gas. Gross. Not funny. But this is the only thing this Bruce guy does. It’s like Shecky Green broadcasting live from the Pine Room of Camp Little Otter in the Poconos.
— Commerical Break —
Megan’s up after the break. I know she will do well. Being as objective as I can, her only competition is Faraud Muhammad…who I think could run a very good show of his own. The other people didn’t take this seriously, and that Jasmina just wanted to keep telling us she was “Hispanic” (with the silent part being “you need to pick me because I am Hispanic and Hispanic is very in this year”).
The prize is a limo ride, trip to Mexico, two hour radio show, and professional headphones.
652pm CST — MEGAN FOX turn: “a homeschooling, tea partying momma grizzly”…from IntolerantFox.com and PJ Media…Megan Fox from Mokena. YEAH! Vote for MEGAN!!!! Talking about crime and violence in Chicago…iPhones stolen…flash mobs…I can fix it…I believe that God gave us a backside that is properly cushioned on one side to be beaten with a heavy stick…should you steal the iPhone you should be brought to “The Bean” in Chicago…build a platform in front and put them in front, pull pants down, and let the victims of crime take big paddles and go to town in front of peers…bring the stocks back. Corporal punishment. Bruce, the punishment works…maybe your mother didn’t give you enough. Homeschooling parent…rule of law in my house. Still legal to discipline your children on rear. You need to discipline these bad boys so they don’t get up for a week…then you get the nuns to teach them the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the transformative powers over these thugs. Dan says the Catholics need to take over the schools and the police department. What do you do for fun? I garden. I have a huge garden. We grow our own food so we have our own organic food to eat and we grow in back yard. I have a big dog named Moose. And homeschooling is really fun. You should see my life. I have nowhere to go and be with my kids and do fun things and projects. Homeschooling is not drudgery. It is freedom. The good news is that my children can learn any time all day and they are not standing in line, eating in a cafeteria, there’s no nonsense. They are free thinkers. I am raising free thinkers. I write about lifestyle issues. I brew our own beer. We grow our own hops. Bruce is shouting at her if they drink their own beer. They’re trying to tell her that her time is up and Megan says she has a big stick…says Obama speaks softly and carries no stick.
I just love her. I really do. She’s fabulous.
She kind of left Bruce shellshocked. Proft said that people are coming back for 90 seconds…or in Megan’s case, anything she wants.
This is all funny because last year Megan went first, and Bruce stole all her time with fart jokes. Megan was really polite last year and let him get away with that. So, it’s funny for me to see Megan get some revenge tonight and dominate her segment. Dan and Bruce kind of treated her weirdly because she did that…and she sure was the most forceful of the contestants. She was no-nonsense. That’s who she is…so if you like that, you’ll lover her.
I’ve thought since the day I met her that her destiny is to have a radio show. I think she should have won last year and should win this year….and that’s not just because she’s a personal friend. I just think she’s the best, she’s earned this, and she’d make a great show. But, I have no idea how they’re going to judge this.
Personally, I think they’re going to go with the “Hispanics are hot this year” thing and just give it to that Jasmina because she’s a “minority”…even though they had a minority winner last year. If they play games like that then everyone is a minority in some way. I’m gay, so I’m a minority. Megan’s a homeschooler…so she’s a minority. You might have a cat, and the majority of pet owners have dogs…so you too are a minority. Everyone’s a minority and we should all be celebrated and should win everything!
Either Megan or Faraud would be able to put on a good show…though I’d personally most like to hear Megan’s show.
In fairness, I want to state for the record that this year Bruce Wolf did not do anything to stack the deck or interfere with some contestants. He let people speak and didn’t monopolize this contest like he did last year. So someone clearly talked to him and took him aside before this show. I am so happy about that…because whoever wins the contest should be fair and should not be rigged from the start for one person like it was last year.
— Commercial Break —
Mattress commercials about memory foam…beds that will change your life…sleep numbers…whatever. A bed is a bed. I have never understood the fuss over mattresses. I’m from Cleveland and back there we were just happy to have anything to sleep on at all.
Weather forecast…thunder storms, cloudy, 82 degrees tomorrow. This has been a freezing cold summer. I look forward to sweltering 90-95 degree days and a lot of this summer I had a sweatshirt on. Where is all the Global Warming that Al Gore promised us because I never even made it to the beach this year.
708pm CST — back at the Improv in Schaumburg. Isn’t that a hilarious name for a city? Now they are explaining the voting. They’re going to get another 90 seconds to tell us why they need to be the Talk Star. I would bet any money that Jasmina will tell us she should be picked because she is Hispanic. The judges are some woman named Lauren Kone from WLS, Chet Copit (sp?) from a steakhouse somewhere (I have no idea who this is, so he might be a sports person…clearly he’s no supermodel or I’d know who he was), and then that woman Stephanie who won last year. Oh, and the Promotions Director Something Something Lynne. She’s a judge too. That Bruce is so stupid…he has no idea what he’s doing.
Megan comes on to make her 90 second pitch: The reason I should be the next Talk Star is because I have an interesting lifestyle. The government is being more intrusive in our lives. We can change how we live, become less a part of the machine. Pull your kids out of the indoctrination centers. Send to private or homeschool…do not leave them in a dangerous place. I would like to talk about how homeschool is better than you have been told. You can grow your own food. Make your own stuff. Tons of ideas that we do that you will really like. I think there are ways to help young people when bored to go to a book instead of killing someone (like in the news recently). Give them morality. I am Megan Fox and I want to be your next WLS Talk Star.
VOTE MEGAN FOX: text STAR to 68683
Faraud’s 90 seconds…he says he is doing this to pay tribute to his mother. He has a nice radio voice. He says his mother raised him to get a bachelors and a master’s degree. If more moms would have self sacrifice and emphasis on work ethic and hope then he guarantees that there will be fewer people in neighborhoods being bad. He kind of stumbles and loses his train of thought. This is a memorized speech or it’s written down and he stumbles. So the mom stuff was contrived. He stumbles and stutters at the end. But I still like him. I just don’t like people who bring out the mom card to score points, like at an awards show or something.
Jennifer Gulberson Sale…her 90 seconds. She says her daughter told her that she did a bad job. She says, “I’m an expert on nothing and I bombed”. Let’s just not make it a thing. My life is not complete. Seriously, I should be the next star because I like to have fun and I am about nonsense and I make people laugh and Anthony Weiner is hysterical and lets have fun. I am unemployed and looking for a job. My kids need to eat and they are here and don’t make me look like an idiot in front of my kids. Bruce, let’s talk about porn. Porn! I don’t take things too seriously so vote for Jenn. This woman is really irritating.
Jasmina is up…let’s see if she mentions being Hispanic again. She says, what does WLS stand for? Where Listeners Speak Up (but, there’s no U in WLS). Tell Springfield that things can’t go on. We cannot spend money we do not have. We cannot borrow money we cannot pay back. I don’t want to be Detroit I want to be Chicago and it was a great state. I got “peeps” here from all over. Here’s a shootout to Kim at Hot Cuts for $16 and I am frugal. Running, taking care of my kids…. HORN BLOWS and cuts her off.
So she didn’t mention being Hispanic again…but I bet she would have if she had more time.
Laura something or another…gives her 90 seconds. Says she wants to get rid of Pat Quinn and Dick Durbin because of Obamacare and she has had it. She wants to say everyday that it’s another day closer to the end of Obama’s term and it makes her happy. She loves WLS-AM and she thinks that she is borrowing a phrase from Obama about jobs and she goes to bed with Bruce Wolf and Dan Proft and wishes that Obama would think about jobs all day. She thanks everyone for coming and now she wants to text people and she wants to be “voice for positive” (sic).
That woman irritates me too. There’s something about her that I just don’t like.
Here’s my ranking of the contestants:
* Megan Fox — winner in my opinion
* Faraud Muhammad – second best
* Jasmina the Hispanic Woman — not good, but better than the other two
* Jennifer Gulberson Sale — she was terrible gulberson awful
* Laura Whoever — honestly I can only remember that she worked at Goldman Sachs and made so much money doing that back in the day that she has just been looking for a hobby since…and that’s kind of a slap in the face to the other contestants who are looking for this opportunity to really jumpstart a career.
My gut is that the marking/promotions person will want Jasmina the Hispanic Woman to win in 2013, since Stephanie the Black Woman won last time. I don’t think there’s a doughnut’s chance in Oprah’s vicinity that Jennifer or Laura will win. So, Megan’s got a one in three chance of taking the prize this year.
Please vote for her: not only does she deserve it and it would change her life but she also would do a really great show.
TEXT the word STAR to 68683 and then vote for Megan. So, on your phone, go to send a text and put the word STAR in the text and then send the text to the number 68683. And then a menu will come up and tell you to push a number for Megan Fox. Choose that number and vote for her!
726pm CST — the voting closes in three minutes.
Apparently they will announce the winners soon. I guess there is voting going on in the restaurant. The audience vote counts for 20%. Then there are people voting by text. And then there are the judges too.
They’re talking about the idiocy of the Iowa Caucuses and how voting goes on there. How people cheat and stuff ballots and all that nonsense.
— Commercial Break —
736pm CST — that jackass Bruce Wolf is talking again. I just hate him. He’s introducing last year’s winner, that Stephanie.
Megan says she’s a very nice woman. She hosted “several shows”. Her claim to fame is having six kids and being a black conservative. So they picked her last time. She says she is “the Harriet Tubman of the conservative movement”…which I think is obnoxious of her to say. I know about Harriet Tubman. Harriet Tubman was a grade school report subject of mine. Stephanie is no Harriet Tubman. But I promised Megan I would be nice.
Stephanie comes on and says she is doing “fab-u-lous”. She says the questions asked this year were tougher than the ones asked of her. I agree. She got soft ball questions last year and was not interrupted once by Bruce (almost as if the deck was stacked so that she would win last year….funny how that worked out, in my opinion). Stephanie says she never called the station ever, had never wanted to do radio, but just wanted a phenomenal trip and that’s why she entered the contest. This is what irks me about this woman. She keeps saying that she was motivated by the trip, not the being on the air part. I just think that’s so wrong because the contest is the “Talk Star” contest…not the “Who Wants to Go on Vacation?” contest. Now she’s talking about her husband being a cook and how that made her fat but she still runs marathons even though her toenails fall off (but then grow back). I think there’s a powerful meaning or analogy in that somewhere. Stephanie says she set up her fan page and she has fans now and she likes when people invite her to things. She wants Illinois to not be a place where people are fleeing. She says that this is a good time to live in Illinois, despite all the people fleeing in droves. Now she’s saying that she might run for office too. She has a third grader and an 8th grader and she says she’s “not that vain”. She says this is an opportunity to talk to people and go out and meet people…and she gets a warm response when hosting the shows.
She’s complaining about someone who criticized her because she says “you know” a lot as a verbal crutch. But, she needs a thicker skin if she wants to be in radio…especially speaking on the conservative side of the aisle. I just still am bothered by her saying she just wanted the vacation. She might be the nicest woman in the world — and Megan says she is — but she should have had class enough not to say that. At least pretend you were interested in being on the radio and having a voice, not just doing this to get a free vacation. People with class take the prize but never let on that they were doing something just to win a prize.
— Commercial Break —
740pm CST — they are about to announce the winner.
I hate waiting for results when there’s one person I want to win. The anticipation sucks.
The judges are going to announce the winner.
Lauren Someone Or Another is announcing the winner.
Tension. Tension. Tension.
Lauren has a smoker’s voice.
And the next Talk Star is…Laura Kelly from Oak Brook.
That woman from Goldman Sachs? Geesh.
I didn’t see that one coming.
I thought she was the worst one and was rambling and made no sense.
Though, at least Jasmina the Hispanic didn’t win…just because she was “the Hispanic”. I really wish Megan had won, or if not her then Faraud.
This woman…I swear. They have this Laura talking after she won and they asked her what she would do on a show and she said she had no idea, she’d have to think about it. I know she’s excited, but she comes off as an airhead right now. At least she hasn’t gone on about how she just wanted the vacation. She says she did not sleep all week and has been nervous, playing solitaire on her cellphone. She said that is how she focused herself this week.
I still don’t know how she won or what she said that made people vote for her. Maybe she had a lot of friends there in the audience. She just said she was the PTA president so maybe she worked a network. I don’t know.
But the other thing I’m happy about is that Bruce Wolf didn’t cheat again this year and he didn’t interrupt anyone. No decks were stacked. Everyone had equal time. And for some reason this woman from Goldman Sachs won, even though she said nothing memorable.
This is the first and only time you will ever hear anything from this woman Laura Kelly…but I guarantee you will be hearing about both Megan and Faraud in the future, because both of them have the talent and smarts to make something of themselves in the industry. They just seem to be destined to have to claw harder for it and never give up.
Ugh…but Megan always says things like this are “God’s plan” and I trust that she knows what she’s talking about and that’s true.
I just wish I could have rigged this contest for her somehow (and I probably should have at least tried).
© 2013, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.
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