[Click above to embiggen: the latest ridiculous rumor that HotAir is trying to start, that the third presidential debate will be canceled…because I guess HotAir needs clicks and web traffic.]
I really need your help on this one, because it stumps me. I think it’s a cultural thing that I don’t understand, since I didn’t grow up as a Republican. This might be some kind of fetish that my brain doesn’t have and can’t process. Can someone please explain to me why Republicans seem to love bizarre Conspiracies of DOOM?
Democrats never do this. Only Republicans get into this stuff. Is it the equivalent of going to a fun and scary haunted house and getting the adrenaline going? Is there something about being a Republican that means people who are Republican can’t get enough of freaking themselves out all the time?
HotAir is the place that I see a lot of this stuff originate, with two people being mainly responsible: Jazz Shaw and something called an “Allahpundit.” In my opinion, they are two of the most irresponsible people writing on any conservative site. Why do they have jobs?
The latest rumor they are pushing is that “DOOM! Hillary Clinton is going to pull out of the third debate!” I don’t know why any sane person would ever write something like that…unless it’s just supposed to get them more clicks and web traffic. Is that why they do this?
If so, these guys are being really dishonest with their readers. When you post something political, you should believe in what you are posting at the time. You could later be proven wrong if you are making a prediction that doesn’t pan out, but you should have the decency to write in good faith about whatever it is you are analyzing in the moment. That’s a basic assumption when reading a credible political site, which I assume HotAir to be.
So why are they behind so many of the weird demoralizing rumors of DOOM! DOOM, I SAY! that percolate during elections? I will never understand why they do this. I wish there was a convenient way of keeping track of whenever they do this and plotting it out on a graph or something to make a nice record of their behavior, which I think is atrocious.
Does anyone really believe that Hillary Clinton is going to pull out of the last debate on October 19th? Why on Earth would she do that? HotAir is pushing this lie today, just like they pushed similar lies before the first debate that all the debates were going to be canceled. Why did they do that?
My ex-boyfriend Justin’s mother, CarolAnne, eats this stuff up like candy. I happen to love CarolAnne and even though Justin moved back home to Arkansas I still gets emails from her, which I am happy about. She enjoys jabbing me for being part of Team Hillary in 2008 and I enjoy pointed, acerbic banter with someone I’ve known for 6 years and hope I am in touch with for the rest of her life. She adds color to my day whenever she pops into my in-box to harangue me with something that I usually think is crazy. It makes me smile.
HotAir upsets CarolAnne on a rolling basis, because she reads the things they say as if they are true instead of weird lies (which I believe them to be). All through the primaries, CarolAnne was upset by HotAir because the muppets posting over there said the following at one point or another:
* Donald Trump would drop out of the primaries
* Ted Cruz would snatch the nomination from Trump
* At the Convention in Cleveland, Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio and others would orchestrate a coup and take the nomination away from Trump and give it to Mitt Romney
* Mitt Romney is an evil genius who was plotting multiple coups
* Trump would lose interest in being the nominee and would drop out of the race after the Convention
* The debates would be canceled
* Okay, so after the first debate was not canceled, the second one totally would be canceled
* Trump would be dumped as the nominee and replaced with Mitt Romney because, uh, something or another
* The second debate happened but there will totally be no more debates, because Allahpundit said so
What the hell is an Allahpundit anyway? One thing I tell CarolAnne is that as a general rule in life, I never pay much attention to anything said or written by anyone who uses a fake screen name. To me, if you don’t want to use your real name when writing your opinions, then you really don’t believe in what you are saying and you never want to be held accountable for any of it. Hence, you call yourself “Allahpundit” or “SkippyMcGee” or “Whatever.”
What I think Allahpundit and Jazz Shaw do is that they look at Twitter and other social media trackers and they see what key words are trending and then they try to invent some story that would surf those trends and get a lot of attention. I don’t think they write about what they are thinking about in the moment so much as they write things that they think would upset people and get them a lot of attention. I think it’s all about getting hits for HotAir. So, that’s their business model.
What troubles me is that I believe these guys know how much they manipulate people like CarolAnne emotionally with these wild rumors they spread, but they don’t really care what it does to people. Someone like CarolAnne has been on an emotional rollercoaster needlessly the last few months, believing the things that Allahpundit and Jazz Shaw write that never turn out to be true. I think this rollercoaster of emotions is addictive for a lot of people…and it sure is exciting for them to be taken in by the latest Conspiracy of Doom. That’s much more exciting than real life, even during the most exciting election we’ve ever had.
As wild and crazy as things really are in Actual Reality every day right now, HotAir wants to make them even more exciting by introducing weird, fictional, Alternate Realities where things like debates are canceled or presidential candidates are removed from the ballot weeks before an election. These are the kinds of things that happen on tee-vee shows like Scandal, not the real world. I picture Allahpundit — whoever the hell that is — trying to squeeze into an Olivia Pope costume for Halloween, with an oversized glass of red wine in his hand, prancing around a sad little apartment somewhere laughing his head off that he’s once again gotten the CarolAnnes of the world upset over his latest manufactured rumor.
I don’t know why Republicans are so into this stuff, but I’ll tell you that Democrats don’t engage in any of this. Republicans seem to gravitate towards Conspiracies of Doom that are frightening to them, where Republicans for some reason like hearing tales of the worst things that could possibly befall them. Like children gathered around a campfire listening to ghost stories in their jammies. Republicans like to be scared out of their minds, I guess. Democrats ain’t got no time for that. They are too busy winning elections.
If you notice, no Democrats put out negative or doomsday content before an election because Democrats don’t want to depress their own turnout. A Democrat will never write anything that depresses people and makes them want to just sit home on election day. Everything that Democrats do is designed to rev up their base and get people to vote as many times as possible, with as much fraud and trickery as possible, to defeat the evil Republicans. Doing anything and everything to break the law and rig the system and whatever it takes is a badge of honor for Democrats.
All Republicans ever seem to do is to freeze in place, terrify themselves with the latest Conspiracy of Doom, and essentially forfeit elections…because they psych themselves out and convince themselves that there’s no hope so we all might as well just give up. To me, this would be like a foolish person having a job interview…but deciding ahead of time that there’s no way she would ever be hired, or believing people were plotting against her to keep her from being hired, so she doesn’t bother to print out a resume to take with her, doesn’t bother to wear nice clothes or even comb her hair, doesn’t bother to get there on time or do anything else to land herself that job.
Then, when she doesn’t get the job, she says: “See! Allahpundit was right! I was never going to get the job!”
Psyching themselves out and just giving up in the home stretch is this weird thing that Republicans do that Democrats never, ever do. For the life of me, I don’t know why Republicans do it. And I don’t know why there are never any consequences for people like Allahpundit or Jazz Shaw who encourage all this. Why do they still have paying jobs as columnists at HotAir when this is the kind of content they vomit out?
If anyone can explain this to me, please do. I am sincerely stumped and must be missing something. I would appreciate the edification.
© 2016, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.
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