[ Click above to embiggen: What the Barack Hussein Obama Presidential Library & Museum & Wealth Redistribution Center could look like near Honolulu, Hawaii ]
My boyfriend Justin is an architect and graphic designer who is training to become an Imagineer for Disney.
I asked him to create an image of what he thinks the Barack Hussein Obama Presidential Library & Museum (and Wealth Redistribution Center) will look like once its completed near the campus of the University of Hawaii on Oahu.
We figure that Obama will want to play as much golf as possible after he leaves the White House in 2013…so the grounds of the library are covered in an
Arnold Palmer Tiger Woods-designed course.
The Obamas are both quite fond of that super-creepy “O” emblem that they originated in 2008, so it’s a focal point of the library’s design. The people who created the “Tupak Hologram” will fashion a glowing “O” that floats above the library like the Eye of Sauron, ever watching out over the islands of Hawaii to keep tabs on all of Obama’s followers there. Like the Church of Scientology’s Celebrity Center in Hollywood, we figure the Obama library will be the main altar of his cult of personality in addition to being a tourist attraction and the business offices of the Obama Wealth Redistribution Center (whose aim is to deplete the economic resources of the West and funnel them to developing and Third World countries, as Obama’s father Barack Sr. advocated until his death in the 80s).
Washington DC is chock full of obelisks, temples, and Roman columns and domes of all sorts for presidential monuments so we know that Obama would want something both grandiose and sort of blasphemous that’s different from what was built for those who came before him. That’s why Barack Obama and his wife Michelle are depicted as massive, cerulean sphinx oracles. Those who aren’t true believers in Hope and Change will be smashed by laser blasts from the sphinxes’ eyes, like this:
Don’t cross the Obama “O” emblem at the sphinxes’ feet unless you are filled to bursting with Hopium!
I’ve always kind of thought that Obama looked like the Moa statues on Easter Island, so I find it easy to imagine the Obamas just demanding two of the statues that most resemble him and then installing these at the entrance to his library and personal temple.
The Obamas’ tomb will be high above the island of Oahu, in the dome behind the sculpture of “Barack the Lightbringer” that lifts the “Eye of Obama” into the air. This way, for all time, the Obamas can be high above the rest of us and we’d have to gaze up to view their sarcophagi (instead of looking down into a pit like at Napoleon’s tomb, viewing the remains at ground level like in the Garfield monument in Cleveland, or just looking at a smooth slab like the Lincoln burial chamber inside his Springfield tomb or Kennedy’s comparatively simple gravesite at Arlington).
Tomorrow we’ll look at what will be included in the Museum part of the Library, but for the moment what do you think of Justin’s design?
I know for a fact that Frank Gehry’s actually being pursued by Penny Pritzker to create the Obama Presidential library, which means it will no doubt look like a giant steel and glass wadded up ball of paper like all of Gehry’s buildings (such as the Disney Concert Hall in LA, the Weatherhead School of Business in Cleveland, and the Pritzker Pavilion in Chicago); Gehry would just use an original copy of the Constitution to wad up into a ball when designing the Obama Library (because he is symbolic like that).
But, if Gehry doesn’t end up taking the gig, do you think Justin’s design has a chance of making it?
What else would you like to see included in the official “Barack Hussein Presidential Library & Museum & Wealth Redistribution Center”?
© 2012, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.
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