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It’s being reported that Charlie Crist — disgraced former Florida Governor — is speaking at the Democrats’ Convention in Charlotte.
Crist has unofficially-officially announced that he’s essentially a Democrat now and hopes to run for public office again in that capacity. The big question is, when’s Tangerine Charlie going to come out of the closet as the gay man almost everyone in politics knows he is.
If you look closely, you’ll see almost all conservative writers dance around the fact that Charlie Crist is a gay man with a beard (and not the kind you can shave away with a Gillette). He married novelty-products heiress Carole Rome a few years ago (whose parents owned a company that sells rubber vomit and plastic dog feces) in the same way that a lot of Hollywood actors (such as guys like Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Will Smith, Seann William Scott, Hugh Jackman, and their predecessors like Rock Hudson…checkout BlindGossip for more, but be warned because you could spend all day there solving riddles) ostensibly have wives but are quite openly gay to people who spend a lot of time around them.
Charlie Crist used to hang out quite frequently in a gay bar in Tampa called the Green Iguana, where he often appeared in drag and called himself “Charlotte Sweet”, a riff on the movie “Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte”. There’s a scene in the movie Guarding Tess where Shirley McClaine plays the former First Lady of the United States, now elderly and retired to somewhere in Central, Ohio (just north of Mineral City); periodically, she’d doll herself up in a bag lady disguise to shop for canned peas incognito…and the Secret Service would have to let the store and its customers know if today was a day she wanted to be recognized. I can’t help but imagine Charlie Crist doing something like this at the Green Iguana, some days owning up to being the Governor in drag, while on others he’d just be “sweet Charlotte Sweet, Belle of the South”. When Anderson Cooper talks about “teabagging” on TV, there’s a darn good chance he learned about that from Charlie Crist at the Green Iguana.
This is seriously the tangerine-dyed man that some in the agenda-driven media claimed “will be the VP nominee in 2008″.
Democrats would have outed him in spectacular fashion minutes after that pick…and everyone knew it. There are, in fact, only two reasons that Democrats don’t out all of the gay Republicans currently in office (or those seeking office): (1) because Democrats blackmail these guys whenever they need them to vote against their party on something (I’m looking at you Lindsey Graham, Mark Kirk, Aaron Schock, and Adam Kinzinger) when they have no valid reason to vote against the party line and (2) Democrats save these guys up to out, humiliate, and embarrass whenever they need to change the national narrative and distract from something bad Democrats have done lately.
There was even an entire episode of the miniseries Political Animals devoted to this, with a buff, good-looking, young Republican Congressman based on Aaron Schock who is outed in Episode Four (entitled “Lost Boys”) because the Democrats needed one more vote to pass an entitlement bill and blackmail was the only way to do it. After four years of running this site, I still can’t understand why Republicans never seem to understand that being a closeted gay politician is a bad idea…but being an openly gay Republican running for office is a great thing because Democrats would have a mighty hard time attacking a member of the Left’s protected “Hierarchy of Outrage”…where anyone ever saying anything bad about a gay person is a “homophobe!”, including anyone on the Left who would criticize him.
Aaron Schock, for instance, could be the next Senator from Illinois (defeating Dick Durbin in 2014) if he’d just come out of the closet before Democrats out him at a politically convenient time for the Left in the future. I think Schock could even be the country’s first openly gay Vice President (and the second gay Vice President ever, after William Rufus Devane King in 1853) in 2020 or 2024. He’s young, great-looking, personable, and would be difficult for Democrats to malign or persecute because he’s gay and the Left doesn’t allow itself to be left open for charges of homophobia since its entire voting-bloc coalition demands that gays stay on the plantation and keep voting Democrat. Having a black person or an openly gay man on a future Republican national ticket would make the Left’s heads explode…so a dream ticket in the future would be Allen West for President and Aaron Schock for VP…a black man and a gay man…the Left’s worst nightmare.
With Charlie Crist switching to the Democrats, and wanting to win office in 2014 with another run for Governor, I wonder if he’ll just divorce Carole Rome and come out of the closet in an image re-branding. He’d run as both a Democrat and a gay man and the Left would then be able to help him because they’d scream HOMOPHOBE! at anyone who stood in his way for either the nomination or in the general election. Florida’s the kind of state a gay candidate could win in the south. Tangerine Charlie or “Charlotte Sweet” or whatever he’s calling himself at that point would get a whole new contingent of supporters if he came out and ran as a “history-making-candidate” in 2014…instead of just an orange-dyed delusional man who’ll say or do anything in order to win an election (except be honest about who he really is).
For the life of me, I don’t know why Republicans keep quiet about things like this under the cover of “we’re taking the high road”.
It actually does matter if a politician is gay, just as it matters if actors who get involved in political activism are gay…because all these guys need to be honest about who they are if they either attempt to get people to vote for them or they champion political causes or candidates. Being gay is a big part of who they are and how they see the world and gives insight into what their real agendas are on various issues. So closeted Republicans and secretly gay Democrats all need to come out…whether they live in Washington or Hollywood…or hang around gay bars in Tampa dolled up in Charlotte Rae drag.
© 2012, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.
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