Posts Tagged ‘Zac efron
So, today’s excitement of the day is to think about Barack Obama actually losing Pennsylvania…which is now moving from “it’s probable” to “it could actually really happen”.
Technically, those mean the same thing so not much has really changed…but politics is all about nuance.
I worked the Pittsburgh area as part of the Kerry campaign in 2004 back when I was still a Democrat. At the time, we thought there was a very good chance that Kerry could lose Teresa Heinz’s adopted “home state”…which was embarrassing because this was where one of the Kerry family’s many residences sat (in a wealthy suburb of Pittsburgh). I really had a lot of fun living there for a while and stayed in Shadyside, which is a very cute part of town not far from the University of Pittsburgh. The thing I remember most — and will probably never forget — is one day when I was out canvassing for Kerry a woman I talked to at her door asked me if it was hard walking around talking to strangers about him. She looked at me very intently to see if I would tell her the truth and I started to hesitate so she rescued me by saying, “I knew it. I feel the same way. We’re stuck with him and I’m a Democrat so I will vote for him because I hate Bush but man, he’s just so dreary and awful and so ugly. I just look at him and know the guy smells like farts. I guess I have to vote for him anyway though”.
Pittsburgh was a really fun place. It was kind of like an alternate universe version of Cleveland because people would say things like that where I grew up too, only the geography was so radically different with so many hills and mountains there in western Pennsylvania.
Of course, Kerry went on to win the state but things were tense until about two days before the election. I am telling you directly that the campaign actually thought Bush could pull off a win there and things were frantic until the very last internal poll showed that the Philadelphia region and the easter part of the state would save Democrats yet again…despite Bush doing very well in western Pennsylvania, where I was in Pittsburgh. Apparently, people in Philly just can’t get enough of Democrats who “smell like farts”. Perhaps that should be Obama’s new campaign slogan in the Keystone State.
I love rolling the dice in life and am willing to go to the mat for all kinds of crazy things sometimes but even in what I believe will be a landslide win for Romney in the upcoming election I still have a hard time believing Obama could lose Philadelphia because Pennsylvania is what I consider the Zac Efron of states: a great big perpetual tease. Every once in a while, it looks like Zac’s about to come out or there will be a Blind Item making the tabloid rounds about an actor who sure sounds like him who’s meeting with publicists to decide how to make “the big announcement”. But then Zac will be out on the town again with some Disney actress pretending they’re dating again. When Justin and I were in Los Angeles last year we spotted Zac at the gay bar The Abbey really digging the underwear-clad, buff go-go boys they have in their main room near the fireplace. And then on tee-vee a few days later there we saw Zac again, awkwardly holding some girl’s hand at the premier of something. I couldn’t believe he was scoping male strippers at The Abbey and thought he might really be on the brink of coming out…but, nope, Zac was still in the closet and determined to stay there.
This is how I see Pennsylvania. Living there for a year, in the western part at least, it’s a state that should be open about being conservative at heart…but it’s a state that is also so close to New York and the Democrat strongholds that it wants to pass as solid lefty just to fit in or whatever…or maybe it fears damage to its career or public image. So, it flirts with being who it really is on the inside…and then retreats to old form again. Over and over again. In every election in my adult lifetime. Like its publicist or manager is insisting on this or something.
Will this be the year it finally “comes out” as conservative?
I’m not holding my breath…but I am hopeful…and encouraging (towards Pennsylvania and every state or person who is reluctant or scared to come out in public as who they really are).
If you’re on the ground in Pennsylvania or just know a lot about the most Zac Efron of states, please chime in below and give us some good scoop on what’s going on there. All my contacts are in Pennsylvania and they tell me the same thing they always do: that Republicans will win the west but it all depends on what happens in Philly. With Democrats successfully encouraging voter fraud in the state and blocking photo ID requirements to vote that means they’e feeling at least somewhat desperate and straw-grasping (or is it clinging?) right now. But, that’s how the Kerry campaign felt in 2004 when I worked there and Democrats won anyway.
Any insight on Pennsylvania you can Ground Report today?
Hilarious: New “Who should Zac Efron date next?” public relations angle bombs…because readers in celebrity magazines keep suggesting men for him
Zac Efron seems like a very nice guy, and he makes interesting choices in movies.
In Boystown, it’s as clear as day to all of us that he’s gay. He’s got classic “gay face”, and Disney has been doing to him what studios in the past always did with their gay male stars. He’s forever “dating” his co-stars…and various publicists, agents, and handlers have linked him to lackluster, mediocre actresses who agree to be his beard for the chance to get more fame than they ever would have had if they’d try to claw their way up the starlet ladder on their own (Nicole Kidman, Kelly Preston, Katie Holmes much?).
Some genius publicist thought it would be a great way for Efron to get into the news right now by announcing he was officially not only broken up with Vanessa Hudgens (his Disney beard, whose own career never graduated beyond those High School Musical movies) but was also looking for “a new girlfriend”. Someone in the agency that reps him thought it would be cute to put little blurbs in all the entertainment magazines and sites asking who readers thought Efron should date next.
And readers indeed have an opinion…the consensus of which seems to be “Jake Gyllenhaal”, in answer to the question above.
Him, or maybe Ryan Seacrest.
Even Kevin Spacey.
It’s really hilarious, actually, because the studio system in the old days of Hollywood didn’t really fool anyone with the “he’s got a girlfriend!” games they played with James Dean, Billy Hayes, Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter, Troy Donahue, etc. And the post-studio system Hollywood never fooled anyone with the weird marriages of guys like Tom Cruise and John Travolta.
Some young actors never played the old games, like Neil Patrick Harris, Chad Allen, Danny Pintauro, and Matthew Bomer, though they just never talked about who they really were until they absolutely had to.
Efron’s talented enough to be a very, very big star some day soon, and presumably have a long and successful career ahead of him as an A-lister…so maybe that’s why his publicists are trying this “who should he date next?” Rock Hudson-style game with him, perhaps hoping Efron can replace the aging Cruise in the Hollywood pantheon.
It sure feels like in the age of the Internet that this could be the last young, gay male star who has to put himself through this nonsense…which nobody believes anymore.
Just read the comments on the article linked above.
People aren’t being mean-spirited when they talk about Efron dating Gyllenhaal…they think they’d make a nice couple. Which I totally agree with. That would also save Jakey-G from having to engage in public “romances” with the likes of Reese Witherspoon, Taylor Swift, or other starlets who need a non-threatening, handsome, kind-of-guy-you-can-bring-homo-to-mom, to squire them around, for whatever reason.
Gay politicians, especially on the Republican side, play these same games too, which is just ridiculous.
Life is so much easier, happier, and more enjoyable if you just come out and be who you are.
Whoever you are.
Because more likely than not you aren’t fooling anyone anyway.
Janet Napolitano has given the TSA unprecedented ability to touch the public’s private areas (except for Muslims who are immune from searches, even though they are the ones who blow up airplanes).
TSA agents are sexual, human beings.
Some members of the public are very attractive.
TSA agents can pick which members of the public get extensive searches.
Are records kept as to which people certain TSA agents grope and fondle, specifically?
Because it sounds like these people are selecting women and men they WANT to grope, instead of people who are actual terror threats (that would be Muslims, who are not being profiled or groped).
I can’t imagine Jake Gyllenhaal or Zac Efron making it through an airport ever again without every TSA agent on duty manhandling their junk.
Not that either of them would seem to complain all that much.
We always like it when those of you out there chime in and let us know that a term we use is alien to you. We’re more than happy to clarify it, because here in Boystown we take for granted that you know what we’re talking about most of the time, even though a lot of our friends are go-go boys, drag queens, motorcycle-riding lesbians, circus people, failed sitcom stars, washed up musicians, and the like.
So, when we say someone like Lindsey Graham, Mark Kirk, Aaron Schock, or others have “gay-face”, we assume you know what we mean.
Here’s the Urban Dictionary’s (the very first place we always go when we don’t know a slang term someone is using) definition of “gay-face”:
We think gay-face (or gayface, depending on how you spell it), is nature’s way of warning observant women so that they don’t become Katie Holmes or Kelly Preston. We don’t think there’s a lesbian equivalent of this, but then again, we don’t know of many lesbians who try to trick straight men into marrying them, or who go around town with straight men pretending these are their boyfriends. In our experience, only gay men use beards, and we’re not talking the kind that qualify you for discounts at Touche or other leather bars.
Gay-face, we believe, is a guy’s soul betraying him through his eyes, mainly. He’s working so hard to fool the world, and in many cases is trying to keep his voice low in register, his hands from flipping about when he talks, all the while stifling the FABULOUSSSSSSS! that’s just bursting inside him, desperate to come out.
Gay-face is that pained look in a guy’s eyes that tells you he’d rather be talking about the Golden Girls or Buffy instead of pretending to enjoy whatever baseball game is on the television.
Gay-face is the betraying “something” just behind the eyes that says this guy would rather be having a St. Germaine on the rocks at Sidetrack in a tank top instead of attending whatever the heck function he’s stuck at over in the Cubby Bear, wearing a jacket and button-up shirt, pretending he’s a straight, confirmed-bachelor, Republican from Peoria.
Gay-face is so obvious to all of us, and to other gay guys in Boystown, that it’s second-nature to spot it. And, no, it’s not limited to just Republicans hiding in the closet like Graham, Kirk, and Schock. Rahm Emanuel has serious gay-face. So does the current “president”, Dr. Utopia. There’s a host of young male celebrities starting their careers in Gay-Face, following in the footsteps of older stars like Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Robin Williams, and Tab Hunter, Troy Donahue, Rock Hudson, James Dean, and others before that.
We can look at old sepia-toned photos from the Victorian era and detect Gay-Face. A lot of oil paintings from the days before photography have clear Gay-Face in them too. Perhaps Gay-Face is even present in tomb carvings and cave scribblings, for someone discerning enough to spot it.
As long as there have been gay dudes trying to pretend to be something they are not, and trying to trick people (especially women) into believing they are gung-ho, He-Men, heterosexuals there has probably been Gay-Face to even the odds and spare these women from heartache.
Some women, of course, choose to ignore the Gay-Face and marry these guys anyway (usually because they get some sort of a big pay day out of it, like becoming the First Lady of Florida…or the United States). Some, unbelievably, can’t even spot it, which tells us someone in the universe must hate them, because they end up as Ariana Huffington.
Can you spot Gay-Face, now that we’ve explained it?
Do you have any other good examples of this phenom?