Posts Tagged ‘John Thune
I really like where this image is going for “The Cocktail Party” GOP establishment and the men (ALWAYS men) they are pushing for the 2012 nomination.
The martini glass, the silver tray, and the cocktail party invitation are great.
But, readers keep thinking the cucumbers are pickles and they are having a hard time understanding the bread on the tray. After doing this for two years now, I’ve realized that if a 60% of people don’t instantly “get” something we do, I need to tweak it for it to have any chance of catching on nationally.
Here’s what I would like to see for “The Cocktail Party”:
* Put these men’s faces on little cocktail party sandwiches or other hors d’oeuvres that people instantly “get” as cocktail party food
* The whole scene should be set up like a logo that says “The Cocktail Party Establishment” so we can use it here whenever we write about the GOP establishment
* The idea is that these candidates are all being served up by the establishment on a silver platter…and the establishment is trying to set things up so that these losers are the only choices to pick from
* Each man needs to be clearly labeled (because most are so dull and boring that the majority of people don’t know who they are when they see their pictures) and the font should be something readable that also makes readers think of “cocktail parties”
Any more ideas on tweaking this?
UPDATE: Here’s a great idea that came in from a comment below.
Let’s take this in a different direction.
Cocktail Party Weenies.
Can we photoshop the men above into little cocktail party weenies in puff pastries?
I picture their faces on the front end of little weenies, wrapped up in phyllo dough, with toothpicks sticking in them.
Snug like little loser bugs in their rugs.
We really could make these fools like ridiculous served up on a tray like this…and everyone would instantly “get” the cocktail party imagery.
Squat, fat, limp, cocktail weenies
UPDATE: Another great image could be a large martini glass…and inside are shrimp…and each shrimp has the face of one of these guys on it.
We could actually have a few of these photoshops…a cocktail weenies one, a cucumber-and-mayo sandwich pile…a shrimp cocktail one…all of them scream elitist and entitled and all of them show these candidates being served up by the GOP establishment the way they are being forced on Republicans for 2012.
UPDATE: Michelle has gotten us closer to what I have in mind with these photoshops below, but it’s still not there yet:
What I’d really like to see is Mittens Romney, John Thune, Tim Pawlenty, and the rest as the actual weiners…with their faces on the actual hotdog that’s wrapped in the dough on a plate like this.
Like how the sausages in the Burger Time video game had human faces:
Chrissy-the-Hyphenated did a great job making images for Mittens Romney and John Thune.
She’s busy at the moment, but we would like to complete our cucumber-and-mayonnaise sandwich gallery for the other boring as paste Cocktail Party establishment candidates the lamestream media keeps pushing for 2012.
Add other names in comments below if we are missing people, but here are the ones we write about often that we’d like put onto sandwiches to match Chrissy’s Mittens and Thune shots (so that they all look like they are from the same set and it stays consistent):
* Tim Pawlenty
* Mitch Daniels
* Mike Pence
* Bobby Jindal
* Newt Gingrich
* Jon Huntsman
Can you make some sandwiches today, Photoshoppers?
UPDATE: Thanks to all for the new additions to the Cocktail Party
Here’s the latest cucumbers-and-mayonnaise boring Cocktail Party Republican being pushed by the media today: John Thune edition.
Are we the only ones who see through this garbage?
This is the same sort of nonsense the media used to write about John McCain…and that they wrote about Bob Dole back in the mid-90s, when the Cocktail Party establishment wanted Dole to be the nominee (which was fine with us back then, because we wanted the Clintons to have their second term).
Now that we’re committed to defeating the Democrats in all that they do, we’re not going to let the media push these born losers like Thune as the GOP 2012 nominee without getting conservatives to take a long hard look at what the media does.
You do see that the Cocktail Party GOP establishment is working hard every day to make sure that Governor Palin is not the 2012 nominee…and that the state media actually helps the Cocktail Party get what it wants, because it knows soggy sandwiches like Thune won’t win an election against Obama. You see this, right?
Sometimes, when we read this junk the media puts out there, we feel like a little kid at a bad Children’s Theater production, where someone is in disguise trying to fool the other characters on the stage and the more observant kids can’t help but shout out “Don’t listen to him! That’s the bad guy! Don’t let him fool you! It’s a fake mustache!”.
There’s also something seriously creepy about John Thune that we just can’t put our finger on.
It might be that his name, John Thune, feels like something out of an Ira Levin novel or 1970s Richard Donner horror movie. ”John Thune” makes us think of “Damien Thorne“. And that’s something we don’t want anywhere near the presidency.
He might be the nicest man in the world, but he seriously does give us the creeps, and it’s not just his name. There’s SOMETHING not right about him, in his eyes, when he smiles. We don’t trust him…in the same way that even before he hit it big on the national scene we found Obama to be creepy and not trustworthy. In life, we’ve found it best to always go with our gut on things like this.
The Cocktail Party keeps telling the media to push Thune, though.
We don’t know why.
Can any of you shed some light on this?
Frankly, the man is not someone we’d even want considered for Vice President. He can stay a Senator in South Dakota for as long as the people there want him, but we’re telling you, there’s something about him that gives us the CREEPS. That does not happen often, either.
Are all of you seeing just how shameless the Leftist Media is in pushing cucumber-and-mayonnaise soggy sandwich Republicans like Tim Pawlenty, Mitt Romney, John Thune, Mitch Daniels, and the rest on this country?
Here’s Jill Lawrence over at PoliticsDaily playing waitress duty, dishing up some Tim Pawlenty, extra mayo, double the cucumbers, hold any chance in Hell of winning in 2012.
Every once in a while AceofSpades takes a hit at us for getting a lot of our political information from conversations we have in the Boystown bars, things we overhear in restaurants, or what people tell us at events (or just randomly riding on trains here in Chicago, bumping into the politically connected). Another great source of information for us is the umpteen waiters and bartenders around town, who work at places like the Union League Club or wherever, and who have great ears for picking up bits of info and passing them onto us when we, oh, wouldn’t you know, run into them in the Boystown bars and they tell us stuff. See how that works? It’s called Six Degrees of Kevyn Aucoin, and you can pretty much get anything you need to know through the network of caterers, party planners, bartenders, go-go boys, hotel staff, stylists, and waiters in any big city.
We’ve been calling the cucumbers-and-mayonnaise-grade Republicans like Pawlenty pushed by Leftists like Jill Lawrence the “Soggy Sandwich Society” for about a year now, ever since a Mitt Romney event here in Chicago where Romney kept complaining about the sandwich he was eating. A waiter friend of ours, through the tele-gay network, recounted how Goldilocks Romney was about that sandwich, sending it back, tasting the new one, sending that one back, on and on.
“My sandwich is too spicy. I don’t like spicy sandwiches. Can I get a sandwich that is not spicy? I can’t have a spicy sandwich”.
The sandwich had no spices in it. It was on white bread, with mayo, and had processed turkey and little sprouts. But, it was too spicy for Romney.
We immediately pictured all of these guys (Romney, Pawlenty, Thune, Daniels, Jon Huntsman, Newt Gingrich, Bobby Jindal, etc.) sitting around a big oak table in a gilt, wood-paneled, lavish private club conference room, munching on their soggy, mayo-heavy, bland sandwiches, complaining about how spicy they were.
“I like more cucumbers on my sandwich because then my sandwich tastes refreshing,” Pawlenty says, taking a big bite of sandwich with his ugly face. ”When I eat, I look like Droopy Dog from the cartoons, and I think that’s funny because he’s silly”.
“He is very silly, that dog. If he was eating my sandwich, he would say the sandwich is too spicy, and then I would say, ‘Hey dog, stop eating my sandwich, and you are silly because sandwiches are for people and dog food is for dogs’, that’s what I would tell that dog,” chimes in Thune, taking a big bite, before passing a giant tub of Helmanns to Jindal.
“Can you help me with my sandwich? I want to put more mayo on it, and I sent a request to Washington for permission to use this butter knife to spread lots of mayo on my sandwich so it would not be so spicy, but Washington is still waiting on that request and I don’t want to get in trouble by putting mayo on it until they say I can do it,” Jindal explained, sheepishly eyeing the Helmann’s, but too scared to proceed without federal approval.
“My Mommy cuts the crusts off my sandwich because the crust is too chewy, and I don’t like the crust. I call my wife Mommy because she is pretty and she makes good sandwiches that taste good and look nice in pictures,” offered Romney, wearing his mittens to the table because the sandwiches were so cold that he was afraid he was going to freeze his fingers off. ”She never makes spicy sandwiches like this, so I am having trouble eating my sandwich”.
“You should put more cucumbers on it,” Huntsman piped up.
“But be careful, cucumbers make me say burpy sounds, and that makes me uncomfortable,” Daniels warned.
“Slather more mayo on that sandwich to cool it down, but get permission first,” Jindal whispered.
“Dip it in skim milk and then the spices will wash off,” Gingrich advised.
People, this stuff just writes itself. Because the men at this luncheon, in their blazers, at that exclusive private club, are a bunch of wimps.
THESE are the guys the Left wants to run against in 2012. These are the guys CabaList, JournaList 2.0, or whatever new organizing tool the Left has up and running now is pushing as the Soggy Sandwich Society to take the Republican nomination…and then lose to Obama so The Lightbringer can have another four years to destroy the country. Hope! Change! Blandness!
If you don’t see this coming a mile away, then your sandwich might be too spicy too.
Best put some more mayo on it, but be sure you get permission first.
We wish we as a site existed in 2006 to stop the DNC from taking the Democrat nomination for president away from Hillary Clinton and awarding it to Obama — if we had an internet presence then, we would have done everything we could think of to derail Obama’s campaign before it ever began, before the DNC decided to make him the next president. We will forever be haunted by the fact that we can never have the last four years to do over again.
So, every day we want to do as much as possible to prevent Obama from winning a second term. His radical agenda must be stopped. We will put every idea we have for preventing his re-election out there, and ask for as much creative support as possible to do whatever we can to stop all those who are either pushing for Obama, or who are backing Republicans we know have no chance in Hell of beating Dr. Utopia.
We believe the RNC is already conspiring to make Mitt Romney or Tim Pawlenty the 2012 Republican nominee — this would be an unmitigated disaster, as we do not believe either of these man can beat Obama. If not Romney and Pawlenty, the RNC appears to be pushing Mitch Daniels, John Thune, and John Huntsman as well.
All of these men are about as exciting and energizing as soggy cucumbers-and-mayonnaise sandwiches on Wonderbread, dipped in skim milk and served on frilly doilies. They are all natural born losers.
Anyone who wants to see Obama defeated needs to stop the RNC from doing to Sarah Palin what the DNC did to Hillary Clinton — namely, screw her out of the party’s nomination.
We will repeat the cucumbers-and-mayoinnaise Vichyssoise Republicans line as much as possible between now and 2012 — until it sticks against Romney and the other half dozen political dwarves the RNC, DNC, and Lamestream Media dream of pitting against Obama in a losing contest.
We would like to have a few images of these men to use going forward, which we hope will become iconic and spread through the web. Here’s what we’d like to see, for all those with the photoshop skills to put something together:
(1) We’d like to see a set of cucumbers-and-mayonnaise sandwiches that have been cut with a gingerbread man cookie cutter, so they look like little men. These men are all holding hands in a straight line, like the men in a chain of paper dolls. The little sandwich men are displayed on a fancy table setting of some kind, like that found at a country club. There are stacks of regular cucumbers and mayonnaise sandwiches on the table as well…additionally, there is a jar of mayonnaise, some whole and sliced cucumbers, and a carton of skim milk on the table. The carton of milk has a “WANTED” picture on one side, where the MISSING CHILD picture is on some milk cartons. The WANTED picture is Sarah Palin…and under her picture there’s the wording ”Sarah Palin — The Candidate Who Can Actually Beat Obama in 2012″. If you can come up with a better tagline, please add to the thread.
(2) In another version of this, the sandwiches are whole, but the faces of Romney, Pawlenty, Thune, Huntsman, and Daniels are all watermarked on the bread…or otherwise appear, as if their faces are made of sandwich bread. These sandwiches are on a tray in the Oval Office…with Obama sitting at the Resolute Desk, with his feet up, preparing to devour them all. If that’s too hard to pull off, just a tray of the sandwiches with these men’s faces on them would work.
(3) A picture of Romney, Pawlenty, Thune, Huntsman, and Daniels all in a 50s retro kitchen, making cucumber and mayonnaise sandwiches, and making a big mess fumbling and bumbling doing it. We can use this in the future as part of a “Sarah Palin’s needed to clean up the mess” meme.
We think the tag “cucumbers-and-mayonnaise-Vichysoisse Republicans” will stick to the Romney bunch.
It’s a proactive, prescient, and preventative strike against the RNC’s efforts to pull that “It’s his turn” sausagefest garbage and award the nomination to Romney, because Republicans are so good at losing, why stop now.
It’s our sincere hope that both Romney and Pawlenty have sense talked into them between now and 2012 and realize that they won’t win, and that they should both get behind Sarah Palin now, and help her run her general election campaign from Day One, never having to bother with a contested primary. Obama will be running his general election campaign from Day One as we don’t anticipate Hillary Clinton or anyone else challenging him. Thus, while Romney, Pawlenty, and the cucumbers and mayonnaise gang drain Palin’s resources in another “all the boys against the woman” round of primaries, just like the Democrats did to Hillary in 2008, Obama will be sailing towards his re-election with the media working 24/7 to first make Romney or Pawlenty the Republican nominee, and then once that’s secured, kicking into hyperdrive to destroy Romney or Pawlenty as the nominee so that Obama is granted his “historic and unprecedented second term”.
We can stop this, folks.
But we need your artistic help. We need big mouths to help us spread the imagery and branding that Romney, Pawlenty, et al are the Cucumbers-and-Mayonnaise-Vichysoisse Republican gang of losers.
If we do this, we’ll be a step ahead before the rest of the country starts even thinking about 2012.
John Thune seems like a nice enough man.
To eat cucumber-and-mayonnaise sandwiches on Wonderbread dipped in skim milk and served on paper plates with.
He’s one of the boring, bland, uninspiring, loser candidates for 2012 the MSM is pushing the GOP to nominate, so the MSM’s boyfriend, Dr. Utopia, can win a second term…and, we presume, use those 4 years to deliver the death blows to America.
It’s interesting to watch men like Thune fall for all the praise the MSM lavishes on them. John McCain is another very nice man who thoroughly enjoyed years of praise from the MSM, so that one day the Left could position him as the Republican nominee…so that he could lose to a Democrat when the MSM wanted a Democrat in the White House.
McCain never realized he was being used. He was like the nerdy, oddball in high school so excited the jocks invited him to sit at “the cool table” that he never saw the massive atomic wedgie during gym class coming.
Tim Pawlenty is really one of the dumbest people on the planet if he thinks he’s presidential material. One of us here at Buzzquarters — any of us — has a better chance at being president than Tim Pawlenty does. Randomly pick someone out of the phone book, and as long as that person does not resemble Droopy Dog, that person has a better shot than Pawlenty — whose nickname in college, apparently, was “an insomniac’s delight”.
Thune’s not as cataclysmically unattractive as Pawlenty, but he is creepy looking.
Not serial killer creepy, but there’s a weird Norman Bates vibe to him, like he’d enjoy taxidermy, or talking about taxidermy while eating cucumber-and-mayonnaise sandwiches and drinking powdered milk, hold the water.
Republicans, continue to allow the MSM to pick your candidates at your own peril.
Not if we have anything to say about it.
Here’s a new variation of troll dropping we found in the old Troll Filter today.
This one’s clearly triggered by how well Sarah Palin did on the Tonight Show last night, blowing David Letterman and Mitt Romney out of the water. So, trolls feel the need to hit at Palin today, while further promoting the Horsemen of the GOP Apocalypse like Tim Pawlenty, John Thune, etc.
Can you dissect this troll dropping line-by-line and identify the following:
(1) What’s the goal of the troll?
(2) What specific words is the troll emphasizing to psychologically advance its goals?
(3) What’s the troll’s desired response from you?
(4) Who sent this troll out into the world full of droppings, ready to dump them against the Internets?
Have at it:
First let me say that I am not a Romney supporter and do not want him to be the nominee in 2012. Having said that, you couldn’t be more off in your understanding of what is going on. The MSM and their Democrats buddies would *love* to run against Sarah Palin. They’re not promoting Romney because they want him as the GOP nominee; they’re promoting him so they can accuse the GOP of being extremist idiots for *not* nominating him.
As for Sarah Palin – I like her and I think she has taken a lot of undeserved abuse from the media, but let’s face it, she is not qualified to be President anymore than the current officeholder.
There are about a dozen people who would make a much better nominee than either Romney or Palin, including Pawlenty, Thune, and McDonnell.
It has begun: today MSM starts pushing John Thune as replacement for Huckabee in GOP's Five Horsemen of the 2012 Apocalypse
We’ve been saying since last year that the MSM is working overtime to pick the GOP’s 2012 candidate — much as it selected John McCain for 2008. Republicans need to wake up and see how easily they are manipulated by the likes of MSNBC, CNN, and their parent organization, the DNC.
Until recently, the Five Horsemen of the GOP 2012 Apocalypse were:
(1) Mark Sanford
(2) Mike Huckabee
(3) Mitt Romney
(4) Tim Pawlenty
(5) Charlie Crist
All of these men would lose to Dr. Utopia in 2012.
After Mark Sanford had a personal and professional career-ending meltdown, the Five Horsemen looked like this:
(1) Mike Huckabee
(2) Mitt Romney
(3) Charlie Crist
(4) Tim Pawlenty
(5) John Huntsman
Huntsman is the one the MSM called “the dark horse” candidate for a while, complete with “off the record” reports from Rahm Emanuel that he’s the one the White House is most worried about. Sort of like how the Globetrotters tell the “press” how concerned about the Washington Generals’ offense before their “games”.
The Hunstman push never really took off; he left his governorship to become Ambassador to China, is a fan of Tap & Tax, was a fan of dumping a trillion dollars down the toilet earlier this year in “stimulus”, and is so transparently the candidate the White House WANTS to run against, that even Chris Matthews stopped pushing him.
Today, for the first time, we’re seeing the MSM pushing Senator John Thune as the Fifth Horseman, taking Huntsman’s place. Essentially, it’s a generic, youngish, Western, white Senator as boring as Wonderbread and cucumber sandwiches replacing the Governor version of himself on the list, now including Bobby Jindal again since Mike Huckabee’s political career was terminated by the aftermath of his overzealous clemency spree as Arkansas governor (which caught up with him when a black criminal he commuted the sentence of went on a cop-killing spree in Tacoma, Washington that made Willie Horton look like a choir boy).
The current Five Horsemen of the 2012 GOP Apocalypse are now:
(1) Tim Pawlenty
(2) Mitt Romney
(3) Charlie Crist
(4) Bobby Jindal
(5) John Thune
Here’s why each of these men would be a disaster against Dr. Utopia, and why the MSM wants the GOP to run them as the 2012 nominee:
(1) Tim Pawlenty — there has never been a good picture taken of this man. He looks perpetually tired, with more bags under his eyes than Aliyah tried to cram into that ill-fated flight in the Bahamas. A Pawlenty 2012 campaign would be just as successful as a result. The GOP needs a vibrant candidate who inspires great emotion in her or his supporters. We doubt even Pawlenty’s own family would be revved up and excited by his run. The MSM will be working overtime for Dr. Utopia, so whomever runs against him has to command attention…has to be so captivating that MSM can’t refuse to cover her or him. Pawlenty does not, and will never fit the bill. He could be Vice President though, easily, if the person at the top of the ticket is vibrant and attention getting enough for both of them.
(2) Mitt Romney — Nobody trusts this guy. What does he even stand for? We’re sure he’s a nice man. When he was manufactured by Mattel several decades ago, he was a very successful model. Will he ever fire conservatives up to rally behind him? Not on your life. They don’t trust him any more than we do. Romney is the classic GOP candidate from a bad movie: slick, perfect hair, giant plastic smile, with the ability to change positions on every issue like a weather vain (spelling intended, because it’s so apt for Romney too). By 2012, one of the narratives against Dr. Utopia will be that he’s been all sizzle, no steak…all promises and marketing, but no substance. People will want a GOP candidate who stands for something, who means what she says and says what she means. Unless Romney puts on a wig, starts rocking great boots, and changes his name to Sarah Palin, he has no chance in Hell of beating Dr. Utopia. Unlike Pawlenty, we also don’t think he can be her VP. He’s too slimey, and too much of an opportunistic flip-flopper. He would, however, make an EXCELLENT Commerce Secretary or Secretary of the Treasury. Palin should campaign with him as that…just right out of the gate, have Romney say that if she’s elected he’d be heading up Commerce or Treasury. Wouldn’t that be interesting?
(3) Charlie Crist dressed up in drag on many occasions as “Charlotte” at the Green Igauna gay bar in Tampa, Florida. The MSM knows this, just as the MSM knew all about Tiger Woods’ depravity and philandering. The MSM chose to hold off on exposing Crist so it can push him for 2012, and hope he gets far enough into the nomination process to hit the GOP square in the eye with photos of him carousing around with scantily clad men — if you have spent any time in a gay bar in the last 20 years, we guarantee there are photos of you when you are drunk, SOMEWHERE. Crist will do more damage to the GOP than Larry Craig, Mark Foley, and Trent Lott combined. He is like a suitcase nuke just waiting to go off — a powder pink, Louis Vuitton with little hearts and rainbows stamped all over it.
(4) Bobby Jindal was pushed by the MSM right after Dr. Utopia was elected, because the MSM thought the GOP would be stupid enough to run him — for the sole reason that he’s Indian, so not white, and the GOP would Marginot Line the 2012 elections by thinking it needed to run a non-white candidate to go up against the non-white Democrat incumbent. Wrong. All of that white guilt and historic “first admittedly part black candidate” stuff is over. It was all used up in 2008. Jindal is honestly one of the ugliest people in politics right now. He is creepy-looking. That’s not because he is Indian. There are plenty of gorgeous Indian men. Jimmy Mistri, for one. That guy’s a babe. Jindal looks like something that would be hiding under the bed waiting for you to fall asleep so it could smuther you and eat your toes. Gives us the creeps, and like Pawlenty there are no known good photos of him. Top this off with the fact that he comes off as a bumbling fool on television — like when he did the Republican rebuttal to one of Dr. Utopia’s endless speeches and was so terrible he was lampooned as “Kenneth the Intern” by just about everyone. Let Jindal stay the Governor of Louisiana for as long as the people there want him. Then, send him to the Senate so he can be the “first Indian Senator”. He is not a VP choice either. Great Merciful Zeus, that man is ugly.
(5) John Thune — a generic white man of average-to-decent looks, straight out of central casting. This is another man who will not inspire anyone to give up their jobs, leave their families behind, and volunteer for him the icy cold of Iowa and the months that feel like years which make up a presidential campaign. No one is going to wake up at 5am and work until 3am the next day for John Thune. However, he might be a good Vice Presidential pick, especially for a female candidate who would want a decent-looking guy to share the ticket with her. The question remains: could Thune be the attack dog the VP candidate needs to be? Could he decimate Joe Biden and make him look like an absolute fool? Does he need to, since Biden’s pretty good at doing that to himself?
Republicans need to run a solid conservative who generates excitement in 2012. Someone people can be passionate about, someone people are willing to break up their piggy banks for and give up most of their free time for the next two years.
You know by now we want that person to be Sarah Palin, but here are some more names for who we think could give Dr. Utopia a run for his money in 2012:
(A) Sarah Palin — the only person we see right now who would definitely win
(B) Dick Cheney — he’s said he doesn’t want it, but we’d campaign our hearts out for him too. He would be tough as nails and deliver some serious smackdown.
(C) Newt Gingrich — before Palin and Cheney, this was the biggest boogeyman the Left had. We think what he did to his cancer-stricken wife earned him a special place in Hell, and we would not campaign for him, but he’s still a better choice than the Five Horsemen