Posts Tagged ‘Grinch
This is worth its own post largely because we think naked guys running through the streets with pumpkins on their heads is oddly sexy.
And talk about a cheap costume.
We also mention it because we’re tired of local holiday traditions being grinched out of existence…whether it’s the cops doing it, or religious leaders, or random private citizens who have far too much free time on their hands and insufficient self-control to contain their irresistable urges to file nusiance lawsuits.
Around the country, there are oddball holiday traditions involving nonsexual nudity and various forms of comical collective undress that we whole-heartedly approve of (provided, of course, that hot guys are well represented and Oprah Winfrey is not).
In Boston, there’s the Speedo Santa Run to raise money for charity, where guys don red and green tight bathing suits and Santa hats and go racing through the streets.
In many cities, there’s the “Naked Bike Ride” that’s supposed to be about protesting oil dependence, but is just basically a big excuse to ride through towns like Chicago in the all-together, including Michigan Avenue, the Loop, Boystown, and you name it (and yes, all of us have proudly done it).
Then there’s Spencer Turnick, who makes art out of hundreds or thousands of naked people arranged in various patterns at famous places around the world (and yes, we did that too, in Cleveland a few years ago).
We never heard of the Boulder Naked Pumpkin Run until today, and that’s only because the Boulder police are trying to use an obscure public exposure law to arrest anyone participating and force them to register as sex offenders.
Meanwhile, in Washington, Attorney General Eric Holder refuses to prosecute Black Panther members who intimidated voters in Philadelphia and brandished weapons at anyone they felt wouldn’t vote for Dr. Utopia.
But naked white dudes in pumpkin hats are a menace…but, of course, Black Panthers with guns at polling places are not in the Golden Age of Utopia.
Whether you think the nakedness and running around with pumpkin heads is stupid or not (and it is admittedly stupid…but fun, we imagine), you have to pause a moment and consider the extreme punishment being threatened for streaking en masse.
Register as a sex offender for the rest of your life?
Why not just cut off someone’s legs the next time they jaywalk?
If you have ever experienced the absolute unmitigated HORROR of trying to land a decent-paying job with bad credit, then you should be TERRIFIED at what a sex offender registration would do to your employability.
Community service is more appropriate in the case of the Naked Pumpkin Run. If Boulder police really want to be di…uh, pumpkins, about it.
It’s un-American if not illegal to twist existing legislation to cover something you just don’t happen to like, when that was not the original intent. The public exposure of genitals statutes were clearly written to protect children from pervs or hamper the efforts of rapists. They were meant to keep flashers from being gross in church or putting on competing sausage fests with the Oscar Meyer section of the local Piggly Wiggly.
They were certainly not intended to rain on the annual Halloween parade, which everyone in Boulder knows about, and 99% of the people are not offended by.
People know it is Halloween. They know at 11pm on Halloween people get naked and put pumpkins on their heads and streak. If you don’t want to see naked people + pumpkins + running, then stay your ass home, or get back to said home and plant said ass in the couch where it belongs by 10:45 that night.
This reminds us of one of the vilest people in America, Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky, and his crusade against Christmas in Seattle — where his Al Sharpton/Henry Gates inspired wailing and rolling around on the ground forced the Seattle airport to take down their Christmas decorations because this particular grinch didn’t want to see them.
Then stay your ass home during the holidays, Rabbi.
Or walk around in a refrigerator box whose insides are lined with lit-up stars of David and whirling dreidels so he can live in Hannukah Land perpetually and see only what he wants to see — lest he be offended by anything in the outside world.
Which, if we lived in Seattle, is what we would have TOTALLY done if it was pre-9/11 and we were still allowed to go to the airport and walk around without a ticket somewhere. We’d have dresed up as giant Christmas trees or Elves and Reindeer and walked all around the airport in shifts so Bogomilsky couldn’t win.
Naked Pumpkin runs are silly.
Christmas trees aren’t the most important things in the world.
Dressing up for Halloween isn’t a requirement.
Wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day won’t make or break you.
But all of these little traditions, especially the oddball local ones, really do matter. They are things to look forward to in a world that is so tough for so many of us right now.
You have no idea how many people out there are just barely getting by each day, and are so close to breaking down and giving up. It’s probably apocryphal, but we’ve heard for years a story about a guy who killed himself and in the note he left behind he said “I told myself this morning that if just one person smiled at me and said hello I wouldn’t do this. If you are reading this, no one did”. So, that poor guy looked forward to that one smile all day, and never got it. And it was too much for him to bear.
We look forward all October to Halloween costumes. All November we look forward to dishing up Thanksgiving dinner for the troops via the USO. All December we look forward to walking the neighborhoods here in Chicago looking at all the GORGEOUS Christmas displays of lights. In January, we look forward to hot bartenders in white speedos on New Year’s and tight football getups for the Super Bowl. Valentine’s candy makes the beginning of February bearable…and then we start looking forward to green bear and drunk frat boys in March.
It’s not the same thing as NEEDING someone to smile and say hello one day, and betting everything on that, but it is a need…something to look forward to…something to make us smile that we don’t want taken away by Bogomilsky or the police or the White House.
It really feels like there’s a concerted effort on the Left to perpetually chip away at everything that makes America American.
For what purpose we don’t know, but maybe it’s to tear down everything that exists so they can install traditions of their own in the end.
If you let them come for the hot guys wearing nothing but pumpkins, and if you let the bogomilskies take the Christmas trees, then we shudder to think what could be next.
There’s something seriously wrong with people in the Pacific Northwest.
We’re sorry, but we have such a bad impression of people from Oregon upwards after the way they’ve behaved for the last several years. This will make many of you out there angry, and cause you to go all nuts in comments, but we have just had enough of grinch stories coming out of Oregon, Washington, and Alaska. There has to be something in the water or the cherry pie, because there’s just too high a concentration of moonbats up there for it to be mere coincidence.
We have friends from Oregon who tell us the homeless run the state, and are like the sacred cows in India. If anything you do as a taxpaying, employed, hard-working citizen in any way offends, disturbs, or interferes in the activities of the homeless, radical loons will shut down your business, picket your home, and generally drive you insane — for seemingly want of anything else better to do with themselves.
In Seattle, there’s Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky, one of the truly most vile “religious” people in this country, who declared war on Christmas in 2005 and forced the Seattle airport to rip down its tree and all of its decorations because this particular grinch didn’t like any of the festive cheer (shame on him, and all grinches like him).
And now in Alaska, there’s another grinch named Chip Thoma who has qualified as our Most Terrible Person of the Week, for waging his own Bogomilsky-esqe war on…wait for it…wait for it…brace yourselves…PIPER PALIN’S LEMONADE STAND.
These people are out of their minds.
Thanks to the awesome and industrious www.Conservatives4Palin.com for catching this.
What’s interesting about grinches is the reaction we have to them. Halloween and Pride are our two favorite holidays. Most of us around here have some degree of seasonally-affected disorder in the gloom and doom of Midwestern winters, so by the time Christmas rolls around, our enthusiasm for decorating, dressing up in costumes, and celebrating anything is generally tapped out. But, when that awful grinch Bogomilsky waged his politically-correct war on Christmas, it inspired us to deck every hall we had access to. We went out the weekend we heard about the assault on Christmas and bought what became a whole closet full of Christmaspalooza. Not “holiday”. Not “Festivus”. CHRISTMAS. The day after Thanksgiving, Buzzquarters looks like the shipping department of the Lillian Vernon winter catalog (since 2008, now complete with several hot pink “Hillary Trees”, decorated with ornaments we made during the campaign from blue Hillary stickers we placed on round blue bulbs we found at a thrift store for a dollar a box…and so we made like a hundred of them).
Because we live in a world where Elazar Bogomilsky actively tries to destroy Christmas, we need to be as ridiculously gay-appareled as possible every year (including, we are proud to say, July 25th of every year, when we dress up for “Christmas in July” in Boystown, which is one of the most fun times you can ever imagine).
And people like Chip Thoma, and all others who attack the Palins in the most ridiculous and bizarre ways imaginable, make us love the Palins even more.
Because, really, Piper Palin? You set your attacks on an adorable little girl and her lemonade stand? REALLY? You have now stooped THAT LOW?
But, actually, these loons stopped that low on August 30th, the day after Palin was announced as the VP nominee, when the Left started spreading those vicious rumors about Trig Palin. So, really, these people just sunk to those depths of depravity and stayed there, in an abyss where there is truly no further down these people can go.
Wherever that is, it’s a place filled with trolls, goblins, grinches, and bogomilskys.
Wretched, wretched things.
But, it’s really clear what these loons are doing, and that it’s most definitely being directed by the DNC: Palin is a major threat and would defeat Dr. Utopia in 2012. Therefore, Palin must be annihilated. The reasoning is: just throw everything you have at her every day, sue her for something frivilous several times a day if you can, attack her famiy, her friends, and no matter what she does, oppose her. If she leaves the state the way every other Governor does to do business in Washington or attend other events she is invited to, ATTACK HER. If she doesn’t attend something she is invited to, ATTACK HER, claiming she’s not promoting Alaska as a tourist destination. If tourists start coming to Alaska to try to meet her or just see her (as we ourselves want to do this summer…and we never, ever had an urge to go all the way to Alasks before Sarah Palin was on our radar), ATTACK HER because she’s bringing too many people into the state and it is inconveniencing locals.
It remains to be seen how much Hillary Clinton is in Sarah Palin.
Clinton has been attacked for 17 years now on the national stage, and was maligned and berated as First Lady of Arkansas for many years before that. So, for three decades, roughly, Clinton’s weathered all manner of nonsense, with hate mostly slung at her from the Right.
Palin might have had some of this in Alaskan politics, but the nonstop hate engines of the Left must be new to her, and are honestly worse than what the Right has ever leveled against Clinton. For the most part, the Right always left Chelsea alone. But, the Left attacks Bristol, Piper, and Trig on a daily basis (leaving Track and Willow alone for the most part, perhaps saving them in reserve for the years ahead).
Piper Palin is going to become something major in life — she’s one of those kids that just has a spark in her. She reminds us of an adventurous, precocious Nancy Drew/Pippi Longstocking that’s jumped to life out of a series of awesome mystery-solving, lemonade-selling, world traveling children’s books. We saw her on stage with her mom at three separate campaign events and have never seen a child with that much natural ability and potential. We hope Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin beat her to it, but honestly believe President Piper Palin will be our 50-something-th POTUS some day.
And don’t even get us started on the angel undercover that is Trig Palin — we adore the little guy, and happily took a punch to the face November 1st sticking up for him here in Boystown when Dr. Utopia’s followers were laughing at and making fun of him on the street and made the mistake of thinking we’d find them hilarious too. And that was a punch to the face we’d take each and every day if we have to, because you will not make fun of special needs people in our presence and not be challenged for it. NOT ON OUR WATCH, LEFTIES.
But, our heart actually goes out to Brisol the most. One of us here has a cousin who got pregnant at 18. She was lucky, like Bristol, to have awesomely supportive parents, but unlike Bristol she had the benefit of anonymity and the ability to handle the responsibility of a child in private. Between the lot of us here, we probably know 15 girls who had babies before they were 20 (and at least three guys who fathered children before they were 20 as well). The media berates Bristol and gives Levi Johnston a platform to attack her and the Palins on a regular basis (but, inexplicably, Dr. Utopia’s surrogate, John Edwards, gets absolutely no such shame or interrogation for having his affair with Rielle ‘Lisa Druck’ Hunter, fathering little Francis Quinn Druck Hunter (Edwards), or using campaign funds illegally to cover up said affair and offspring). And this has to be Bristol’s life now, all because her mother DARED to run for national office…and because, more importantly, her mother is the only person we can currently see who would definitely defeat Dr. Utopia in 2012.
So, that’s what all of this is always about…leashing Sarah Palin…beating her and her family to the ground so she won’t seek national office…bankrupting this family to make it improbable, if not impossible, for them to mount a successful primary effort in 3 years, let alone a national campaign…attacking her with everything they’ve got so other women with families will forever be terrified of answering the call and standing for the highest executive offices in the land.
Seattle’s grinch Elazar Bogomilsky inspired a renewed love of Christmas in us. Attacks on the Palins put us right back in the primaries revved up over the nonstop onslaught against Hillary Clinton, followed by the second round of sexism, hatred, and misogyny directed against Sarah Palin (and family).
Something needs to be done to make sure 2008 never happens to other female candidates again. It’s not just little girls’ lemonade stands that are at stake here, but the entirety of Generation Hillary and Generation Sarah, who are all the little girls (and even grown women) who may now believe for the first time that yes, real change in Washington means viable female candidates for president and vice president EVERY four years, not once every generation or so. Leftists don’t want that anymore than Bogomilskys want you to enjoy your Christmas tree and gingerbread cookies.
But, we won’t ever let those grinches take those away from us, and we won’t ever allow the Left to take aspiration away from good female candidates.
Not on our watch…and we hope not on yours, either.
For years, there’s been a concerted effort, if not all out war, from the far left to rename Christmas “The Holidays”, and turn every Christmas Tree into a “Holiday Tree”, every Christmas Wreath into a “Holiday Circle”, and Santa Claus into “Holiday Man”. And those are the people who want to allow these traditions to remain, but just rename them. It’s not even getting into grinches like Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky who waged legal war a few years ago to yank the Christmas tree and other decorations from Seattle’s airport.
This last fall, lunatics in California were up in arms over children dressing up in Pilgrim and Indian costumes to celebrate Thanksgiving – which would seem like the least controversial or upsetting of all holidays, as it’s about friendship, giving thanks for all we have, and eating lots of delicious food with good company.
Religious groups routinely go after Halloween celebrations, insisting schools either skip Halloween activities or make the kids call it “Trick or Treat Day”. But, then some parents object to the word “Trick”, as that could be seen as encouraging children to play tricks on people, which would be wrong (or it could be an incongruous reference to a late-90s Christian Campbell/J.P. Pitoc meet-cute movie that not only co-starred Tori Spelling, but was the screen debut of Miss Coco Peru). Other parents object to children having candy, and instead want them to have only fruits or vegetables on “Treat Day” (because THAT’S sure a lot of fun).
Easter is “Spring Celebration” in many places.
Presidents’ Day is now “Obama Day” for many.
And now, most ridiculous of all, today for the first time we’re hearing kooks and loons calling for the renaming of St. Patrick’s Day as “Shamrock Day”, because it’s more “inclusive” for people who don’t like saints or any religious connection whatsoever to a holiday.
There are many things that make America the greatest nation on this Earth. Caving in to PC lunatics is certainly not one of them. It’s amazing these people have such sway, and can mount campaigns to change holidays and rename things we all grew up with. These holidays and simple traditions are often the only things many of us have in common.
In a room full of strangers, who grew up in different parts of the country, with different talents and abilities, none of us might have a lot in common, but we can all remember making Pilgrim and Indian art for Thanksgiving art in grade school, marveling at all the Christmas lights somewhere in our home towns, dressing up and going Trick or Treating on Halloween, hiding eggs or eating little yellow Peeps at Easter, and dressing up in green and possibly acting more than a little stupid some time in our adult lives on St. Patrick’s Day.
Not Shamrock Day.
Not Green Day.
St. Patrick’s Day.
UPDATE: Here’s a little history of St. Patrick’s Day…and some incentive to keep the holiday just the way it is.
Illinois First Lady Patti Blagojevich has a lot more to worry about besides Grinches and split ends these days
A week or so ago, Illinois First Lady Patti Blagojevich selected “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” as December’s children’s reading list title. Here was the press-release from the selection.
This vocabulary lesson from Mrs. Blagojevich and Oprah claiming today that she only weighs 200 pounds are hilarious on many levels for anyone who’s ever encountered either of these women in person here in Illinois.
Maybe it’s the late hour, but the whole thing just gives us the giggles. Especially the “building a good vocabulary” part in the press release, coming from Patti Blagojevich, who is quoted in the complaint filed against her husband with words so salty they could dust every nut in every bar in Boystown (wait…that didn’t come out quite the way we intended). If the First Lady has a vocabulary this good, just think of what all those kids in the reading program will end up with. It’s like casting Michelle Obama to replace Tim Gunn on Project Runway. Oh, the humanity!
First Lady Patricia Blagojevich announces December selection for Children’s Reading Club as How the Grinch Stole Christmas
CHICAGO – First Lady Patricia Blagojevich today announced December’s selection for her Children’s Reading Club – How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss. The Grinch, whose heart is two sizes too small and hates Who-ville’s holiday celebrations, plans to steal all the presents to prevent Christmas from coming. To his amazement, Christmas comes anyway, and the Grinch discovers the true meaning of the holiday.
“Reading with your children is one of the best ways to spend quality time with them while helping them develop critical skills like building a good vocabulary and active listening,” said the First Lady. “Reading with my daughters is one of my favorite things to do, and I hope that more parents can take part in reading to and with their own children.”
Brilliant, playful, and always respectful of children, Dr. Seuss charmed his way into the consciousness of four generations of youngsters and parents. In the process, he helped millions of kids learn to read.
Dr. Seuss was born Theodor Geisel in Springfield, Massachusetts, on March 2, 1904. Geisel gained national exposure when he won an advertising contract for an insecticide called Flit. He coined the phrase, “Quick, Henry, the Flit!” which became a popular expression. He published his first children’s book, And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, in 1937, after 27 publishers rejected it.
Winner of the Pulitzer Prize in 1984, an Academy Award, three Emmy Awards, three Grammy Awards, and three Caldecott Honors, Geisel wrote and illustrated 44 books. While Theodor Geisel died on September 24, 1991, Dr. Seuss lives on, inspiring generations of children of all ages to explore the joys of reading.
The First Lady launched the Children’s Reading Club literacy initiative in March of 2005, to encourage parents to read with their children. The club is a recommended reading list made up of books the First Lady and her daughters enjoy at home. The Children’s Reading Club applies to all children, but specifically targets children between the ages of seven and twelve. Each month’s book selection is featured on the First Lady’s website, www.illinois.gov/firstlady.