Posts Tagged ‘Are Steny Hoyer and John Lewis dating?
Question: Which designer purse will Steny Hoyer take to the bill signing ceremony? Will he go wild with leopard, or be pretty in pink?
Washington's new power couple, with supervillain chaperone
Just like Carrie Bradshaw, but with purses instead of shoes.
That’s Congressman Steny Hoyer above, on his way to the Capitol on Sunday, with his purse stuffed full of Tic Tacs (in case anyone got hungry) and Kleenex (for when Leftists started weeping with joy), tightly holding what we think is fellow Congressman John Lewis’ hand.
We’re not sure how long the two have been dating, but we hope it’s going well. They make a really cute couple, and Democrat leadership seems really supportive of their romance — so much so that it seems George Soros himself has been assigned to chaperone these two on their dates, lest anyone get too “grabby” and run bases before the time’s right.
Can’t rush lovin’, folks. Gotta keep the dates to the streets before you mess up the sheets.
It’s sweet and old-fashioned Soros is chaperoning these two love birds.
Creepy, too, because it’s GEORGE SOROS following them around, constantly suggesting Steny buy John a rose from a vagabond street vender and nudging John to talk less about his exes and how terrible they were and instead focus on complimenting Steny and making him feel special.
“Remember to tell him how much you like his purse. He’ll like that. I can tell he spent a lot of time picking out which one he would wear, and I think he wanted to impress you. You should recognize that and make him feel special for caring so much about you to take his best purse out on your date,” we imagine Soros advising, all smiles, as happy playing matchmaker to gross Marxists as he is ruining banks and tanking economies.
Apparently, Steny’s got such a collection of MARVELOUS purses to choose from, he’s known as “The Carrie Bradshaw of Congress, But With Purses, Not Shoes”. So, if he indeed picked out his BEST purse to take on his date with John on Sunday, then Congressman Lewis should be beyond flattered.
“He’s my sweetie. He’s my boo. His heart is pure. Our love is true,” John was heard to rhyme, before the two (plus Soros) headed to a quiet part of the Capitol grounds for some “quiet time to get to know each other”.
We’re wondering if the two will color-coordinate their ties, suits, and underwear again today for the Healthcare Rationing signing ceremony at the White House.
And we, like just about EVERYONE in Washington, are just DYING to know which marvelous purse Steny will accessorize with.
Will he go wild with leopard?
Should he be pretty in pink?
Is the occasion appropriate for basic, classic black — or is that too funereal for the occasion?
What about something slick, bold, and designer — too flashy?
“Whichever purse my boo brings, I will love him just the same. A purse doesn’t make the man, the man makes his purse. Any purse would be lucky to hang on that arm, just as I’m so lucky to get to hold his hand and make laffy sounds when he whispers jokes or tickles me”, Lewis insisted, giggling a little, following Soros’ astute advice to keep the magic growing in this budding relationship.
George Soros.
Supervillain. Nazi collaborator. Evil opportunist. Criminal.
Cupid.
