Saturday Night Live Offers Taste of What It Will Do to Mitt Romney
[ Click above to embiggen: screengrab of how SNL depicted Willard "Mittens" Romney on last night's "cold open" for the show hosted by Daniel Radcliffe on January 14th, 2012 ]
The biggest mistake that conservatives make — almost every single day — is pretending the entertainment industry doesn’t exist or is “irrelevant”.
80% of the American public gets its “news” from the entertainment industry. While shows like Saturday Night Live are largely unfunny, the skits — no matter how lame — they air every week are repeated at the water coolers on Monday morning and inform a crushingly depressing amount of people what they must think and parrot in the week ahead.
When I used to work at a consulting firm here in Chicago, I would see this happen time after time. In the little kitchenette/coffee area, groups of people would gather and someone who’d seen the latest Saturday Night Live would replay a political sketch mocking a Republican…and all the other office workers would laugh and laugh. Later in the day, some of the younger guys would compete with each other to see who could either repeat the sketch best or make the biggest ass of himself taking the sketch to a ridiculous new level. Being largely unoriginal tools, these guys would invariably beat the sketch to death during the work week…so by that Friday, six days after Saturday Night Live aired, everyone in the office had the whole thing memorized. If someone at work didn’t know who Mitt Romney was or didn’t have a negative impression of him to begin with — they sure would after hearing about that SNL sketch for a full week and seeing the ad hoc comedy stylings of their fellow cubicle dwellers.
Republicans earn the brand “The Party of Stupid” for not realizing just how easily the Left will obliterate Willard “Mittens” “I Love to Fire People” Romneycare in a general election with Barack Obama. Romney is the least electable candidate in contention for the Republican nomination, despite the Cocktail Party GOP establishment aggressively pushing him for the nomination.
If you watched Saturday Night Live last night, you’d have seen the “cold open” bit with Romney awkwardly seated in a diner talking about how much he loves firing people.
There are already two things that SNL has decided to hammer home about Romney to alienate him from voters who get their news and form their political opinions from entertainment programs:
1. Romney is weird and off-putting
2. Romney loves firing people and would fire you if he could
This is the part where conservatives cover their heads and scurry into little holes where they choose the world that “should be” instead of the one that actually exists — but no matter how much you close your eyes and shout “But that’s not true!” you are not going to stop this meme from being hammered during the general election.
The reality is this: Saturday Night Live is working to re-elect Barack Obama. While it’s not a funny show, it’s a very influential program if for no other reason than it consistently provides young men in the 20-40 age bracket with material to take to their places of work and influence their co-workers politically so that they will also either vote for Barack Obama or not vote at all in the general election that’s approaching.
Though it’s true that SNL will malign the Republican nominee whoever that person ends up being, in this particular election — when unemployment and personal hardship are the two biggest issues weighing on most people’s minds — it is beyond foolish to push Mitt Romney towards the nomination when he is so easy to turn into a caricature of an out of touch weirdo who loves firing people.
Do not pretend that this does not matter, and do not try to cite polls you see saying that “But, but, but…Romney’s ahead in such and such poll against Obama!”. At this point in 1980, Jimmy Carter was trouncing Ronald Reagan in polls…and you know what happened ten months later. Polling for the general election will not be relevant until after the Republican nominee is actually selected and the Left has begun a one-on-one narrative of Obama versus his official opponent.
Barack Obama’s re-election strategy is comprised of “Occupy & Persecute”, replacing 2008′s “Hope & Change”. The “Occupy” part involves class warfare led by the Occupy Wall Street crowd (the Occupoopers) aimed at depicting Mitt Romney as the man who fired all those people at Bain Capital (a company with not only an evil-sounding name, but one whose name is similar to the character “Bane” that just happens to be the main villain in the Batman movie that’s being released this coming July…and features a Catwoman played by Ann Hathaway who was scripted to spout Occupy Wall Street rhetoric). The “Persecute” party involves painting Romney as weird and alien and mocking him as a Mormon to rev up hatred coast to coast for Mormons in general (so that people will be distracted from Obama’s massive failures).
The Cocktail Party GOP establishment wants to pretend none of this is happening. The “Not-Romney” candidates in the nomination race scoring lower than 10% in primaries keep refusing to drop out so that the “Not-Romney” vote doesn’t coalesce behind one “Not-Romney”…with the net effect being that Romney will squeak to a win should this continue, when 75% of the Republican Party does not want him to become the nominee.
I’ll tell you right now who DOES want Romney to win the nomination: Barack Obama.
Take a look at what his friends over at Saturday Night Live served up for Romney in that diner sketch. You are going to see this replayed over and over again. You will also, most likely, hear some young Lefty jackass where you work do an impression of this sketch all next week.
For those who don’t want to watch it for themselves, I think this is so important to understand that I’ve done a transcript for you:
COLD OPEN
Bill Heder is dressed up as Mitt Romney, acting uncomfortable sitting in a booth at a diner. He’s behaving the way the actor who portrayed John Kerry back in 2004 carried himself: alien to most people, he’s a rich man slumming amongst the commoners and speaking in odd, off-putting, and stilted phrases.
ROMNEY: Hello. Hello. I’m Mitt Romney and I’m speaking to you from Jim Bob’s Kitchen, a really fantastic diner outside Aiken, South Carolina. As I said, it’s a really fantastic place, it really is. And I enjoy it very much. It’s super. I’m down here to bring my presidential campaign down here to the people of this great state. They definitely connect with me on a human level. And they don’t find me weird at all. (Laugh from audience)
ROMNEY: Say, did everyone see that Broncos Steelers game last Sunday? (He’s talking in a very stilted way, like a robot) Wasn’t that something? And how about the way that Tim Tebow was slinging the pigskin down the field? (Note: watch the wording that’s written for Romney…a lot of old-timey words and archaic phrasings that make it seem like he was sealed up in Foreverware and only recently opened and re-animated. The point SNL makes is that Romney is odd and alien and not “one of us”).
ROMNEY: I’ll bet you dollars to donuts the Broncos give my beloved Patriots quite a run for their money on the gridiron tomorrow. (Note: they actually missed a chance for a great joke here…instead of saying dollars to donuts, I’d have written it as “I’ll bet you $10,000 the Broncos give my beloved Patriots…” to capitalize on Romney’s disastrous “$10,000 bet” gaffe in one of the last few debates).
ROMNEY: Let me tell you, I’ll be watching that game along with my five human sons. (Big audience laugh) And my expectation is that I will enjoy it very very much. What’s that? It’s being played tonight? Well, that’s wonderful news. The fact is the whole family and I love to watch sporting events on television of a weekend, so normal are we. (Huge audience laughter — SNL is building the meme that the Romneys are alien, not like regular people, and must be mocked).
ROMNEY: I’ll tell you this, it sure beats doing Saturday chores all hallow, that’s for sure. (Note: see that archaic, old-timey parlance again? While he’s saying this, the actor makes old-timey facial expressions like you’d see men do in black and white movies or on re-runs of Father Knows Best). Of course, I’m kidding. We have people for that. (Another big laugh — a joke about Romney having servants, which also makes him alien to most people struggling in this economy).
ROMNEY: Well, a few days ago we had another great result in New Hampshire. And of course we enjoyed that very much as well. Unfortunately though, that victory was clouded by a bit of a kerfuffle over a remark I made the day before. I was speaking to a crowd about the importance of being able to choose your insurance policy and I simply said that when a service provider isn’t doing the job, you have to make a change. Adding that I like to be able to fire people. Well now, I think the audience understood what I was saying.
ROMNEY: It’s like when you’ve been raking leaves out in the yard and your tee shirt is a little clammy. You go inside and fire it. Replacing it with a dry tee shirt or no tee shirt at all, it’s like that. Of course, some of my opponents immediately pounced on that remark and tried to relate it to my work at Bain Capital. At Bain, we specialized in acquiring failing companies. Sometimes this did involve individuals being “fired” (he demurely puts this in air quotes). That is, in the sense of them losing their jobs. But, that is the exception and not the rule.
– Waitress enters and says “hi!” –
ROMNEY: Well, hello there, I’m Mitt Romney. (shakes her hand)
WAITRESS: I’m Becky.
ROMNEY: Hi Becky. I’m really enjoying meeting you. How old are you? Wait, no, let me guess…31.
WAITRESS: I’m 19.
ROMNEY: Close enough.
WAITRESS: What can I get for you?
ROMNEY: Well, I’d like two eggs.
WAITRESS: How do you want them?
ROMNEY: Laid-off.
WAITRESS: Laid-off?
ROMNEY: Yah, you know…laid-off.
WAITRESS: You mean over easy?
ROMNEY: Bingo! Say, what does that come with?
WAITRESS: Bacon.
ROMNEY: No, no bacon. Alright, let’s throw the bacon out of work, and, uh, can I replace it with sausage? And can I replace the bacon for the sausage and pay half the price for the sausage that I would have paid for the bacon?
WAITRESS: It’s the same amount.
ROMNEY: Well, I just thought I’d ask.
WAITRESS: It also comes with toast.
ROMNEY: I don’t care for toast, so I’d like to see the toast lose its job. Without notice if possible. Can I have an English muffin instead? Oh, okay, okay, good. But, can the English muffin be hired on a temporary basis — meaning that if I’m not hungry enough to eat it I don’t have to pay?
WAITRESS: Sure. Coffee?
ROMNEY: Uh, no coffee. I’d like some orange juice. Is it freshly strangled?
WAITRESS: You mean “fresh-squeezed”?
ROMNEY: Yah, “fresh-squeezed” as you call it, uh-huh.
WAITRESS: Um, anything else?
ROMNEY: No, I’m fine…BECKY (and he points at her, proud that he remembered her name).
– Waitress walks away –
ROMNEY: Yah, she’s a nice girl. I’d like to be able to fire her. Well, I’ve enjoyed this time we spent together and I think you’ll agree that I’ve come across as genuine and warm. Thank you and live from New York it’s…SATURDAY NIGHT.
********************************************
NOTE: There was a little inside-dig at Romney in this that you might not have caught. It has to do with him getting Becky’s name correct in the script. Apparently, this is a personal foible of Romney’s…he doesn’t learn people’s names and is terrible at events where he has to work a crowd. He much prefers to be on the dais speaking and is not interested in glad-handing people or making them feel like they matter.
Politicians who are really great at what they do — and from personal experience I can cite Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin in this category — make you feel like they are actually listening to you when you meet them. For just that one moment when you are in front of them and get to shake their hand and speak with them, they make it seem like there is no one else in the room but you and they repeat your name a few times in the most natural way possible as if they have known you for years. They seem real and genuine when they do this.
By all accounts, Romney does not do this and behaves very patrician in a crowd. He’ll refer to you as “buddy” or “tiger” or “chief” if you are male…and women are called “darling” or “young lady” or “sweetheart” (if it’s an older woman).
Romney does not listen for or use names when speaking to people…and that’s lampooned in the skit where he makes a huge production of saying BECKY! to the waitress.
UPDATE: Later in the show, during the “Weekend Update” segment, SNL took a shot at Mormons.
This is the Left’s strategy of “Persecute” in relation to Mormons.
The reason this will be so effective is how prickly Mormons get when they are talked about in public by non-Mormons. Every day, I get emails from people angry with me for using the word “Mormons”, when they’ll explain in often very contentious and aggressive terms that they are “members of the Church of Latter Day Saints” and will then go on for several paragraphs about how terrible I am for using the word “Mormon”.
The fact is, the Left is not going to use “Members of the Church of Latter Day Saints”. The agenda-driven media is going to say Mormon, Mormon, Mormon and then follow that up with a chaser of “magic underwear”, “polygamy”, and “Mormonism is a cult”.
It doesn’t matter that these things upset you — pretending this is not going to happen if Romney is the nominee is just plain stupid.
Saturday Night Live will create brand new characters (dressed in “magic underwear” no doubt) who will mock Mormons every week between the Republican nominating convention and the November 6th general election. Unfunny and often mean-spirited Seth Meyers will gleefully use Weekend Update to make the majority of Americans think Mormons are crazed, alien, cultists.
By the time of the election, Muslims will seem more all-American and lovable than Mormons.
This is what is coming.
No, it’s not right that this will happen.
But pretending this is not the entertainment industry’s agenda is just plain stupid.
Getting angry at the people who are warning you this is going to happen and being prickly about being called “Mormon” is foolish when you should be using your time and energy to develop a concrete strategy for how Mormons at large are going to hit back at Saturday Night Live specifically when the sustained attacks on Mormonism ratchet up after Romney is anointed the Republican nominee.
© 2012, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.
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Bravo, Kevin! Excellent analysis. Average voters may not trouble themselves to understand venture capital investments and free market capitalism versus leveraged buyout (euphemistically, private equity) crony capitalism, but they quickly get the SNL skits. More than that, they get that mimicking SNL skits gets them the "cool" designation among their friends and co-workers. If the cocktail party establishment GOP would stop trying to shush anyone who questions Mittens Romneycare's Bain tactics and instead start analyzing SNL skits, they might actually be able to retake the WH and the Senate in November. As it is, they seem intent on handing BO another 4 years. Perhaps that is the cocktail party establishment GOP's end goal–for Mittens to be the least electable GOP nominee for BO to go against and defeat so they can run Jeb Bush in 2016. Even if Mittens somehow miraculously were to defeat BO, the "establishment" corporatists with their bought-off corrupt political puppets would continue to maintain their control of what should be the government of we the people.
Well I have trouble remembering names, so I won't hold that against the guy. Though it's such a nice feeling when someone does remember your name …. sigh …. Sarah ….
Remembering names is TOUGH. I have trouble with it if I meet more than three or four people at once.
But really GREAT politicians can do this and make it look easy. Here in Chicago, Mayor Daley could do it. Bill Clinton does it. Hillary and Sarah as mentioned. It’s what separates the great politicians from the mediocre ones.
Remembering names is TOUGH. I have trouble with it if I meet more than three or four people at once.
But really GREAT politicians can do this and make it look easy. Here in Chicago, Mayor Daley could do it. Bill Clinton does it. Hillary and Sarah as mentioned. It’s what separates the great politicians from the mediocre ones.
FYI – Both my husband and oldest son are dyslexic. There is actual research that shows that remembering names happens in a specific part of the brain and if you are dyslexic, you will have lots more trouble accessing that pathway when you are trying to pull a name back up.
I'm not sure I really get this whole 'Mormons are not Christian' thing.
.
You believe in Jesus Christ? That he was some sort of savior? The son of Gd? Then you're christian, in my book.
Being Jewish, I just don't get it (not that I don't believe JC *existed* just not all that other stuff about him
I guess there aren't so many of us jews to matter with this issue…but there are quite a few who aren't going to be voting for the O. I think they won't admit it in public, but they're just not going to be voting. They won't go so crazy as to vote for an evil republican, but I think they might not be supporting the O.
I think the business about Mormons not being Christian matters mostly to liberals who think that Christians are so primitive that they can stir them into an irrational rage just through certain "incantations". I'm a very conservative evangelical, and the Mormons I have know I believe are Christian.
Now, they tack on a lot of stuff that make my brain swirl and I don't really want to get into it. From a theological perspective, there's Error and then there's Fatal Error: I regard a lot of LDS theology as Error but not Fatal. I have to acknowledge that God has blessed them in remarkable ways.
But what's so laughable is that progressives think I'll (as your average right wing Christian) get all agitated because someone believes differently than I, and I'll act like a chicken with my head cut off and Hate Mitt Romney and vote for Dr. Utopia, the Precious One.
Full Disclosure: I voted for Romney against McCain in 08 in SC. He was just the least of all the disappointments. He still pretty much is, but it looks as if the tide is against all the ones I'd rather have. If he's the nominee, I'll work for him. ABO
You make such a good point with this, Kevin. I have to say that that was possibly the most UN-funny of all the SNL skits (some of them are really funny, even though they are taking shots at ME and all conservatives). This one was really, really stupid. But….you are absolutely right — most non-thinking Americans will consider that a valid news story and run with it. This, Colbert, Maher, and other moronic liberal "entertainers" are who so many get their information from, rather than actually do their own research. I do hope the "party of stupid" pays attention to the culture media rather than dismissing it this time……..
Dirty Harry Reid is a Mormon.
so what? what does that mean? just because someone you don't like has something about them that describes them doesn't make what describes them bad.
Like, um, what you are doing is kind of what has been done to religions over the ages. And Mr. Reid's religion is immaterial to whether or not you like him.
The Left and media (but I repeat myself) don’t attack Reid because he is a Democrat.
The attacks on Mormons have been reserved for a Mormon Republican presidential candidate in a head to head with Obama. They have not been launched yet, as the Left will not burn them off until September and October of 2012. They want the most bang for this attack.
It really seems like a lot of Mormons are doing wishful thinking and hoping that the Left doesn’t remember to make Romney seem alien to people by attacking him as a Mormon.
If it was a Mormon Democrat running, the narrative would be how wonderful, unique, and original Mormons are. Since it’s a Republican, then Mormons will be depicted as a crazy cult.
It’s amazing that some out there don’t see this or understand what’s happening. I really don’t see how people can not understand this.
Actually I had no problem with this segment because this is exactly how I see Mitt Romney. And if he somehow becomes POTUS, then he will get more of the same and likely deserve it. I personally thought that the best sketch last night was one where they made fun of the YouTube generation who never had anyone tell them they were anything but wonderful so they basically have no skills or desire to do anything meaningful in society. They called it "You Can Do Anything"…at one point the hosts said something like "yes, because the world needs more song writers and performers and less doctors and and engineers". It was really making fun of the Occupy crowd if you ask me…at least that is the way my family took it.
I liked that one too, especially when Daniel Radcliffe declared he had gone to college for a double major in Irish dancing and Chinese calligraphy and that it had cost his parents 45,000 a year. I found out later there is actually a new show called You Can Do Anything, so now I"m curious to see what it's about.
As far as Kevin's point about SNL skits, it is right on the mark. Don't forget the multiple Tina Fey skits where she made Sarah Palin look idiotic. My brother still thinks that Palin actually said the, "I can see Russia from my house" line. It's worth watching SNL just to see Weekend Update and the opening. I will say to their credit that they've done some pretty good spoofs of Obama as well.
Excuse me, but they're attacking Romney because of his religion. They're NOT attacking Reid at all. That's my point!!!!
It's not that it doesn't matter, but all this snide, hateful, put-down humor is so nineties now. Is it really going to be fashionable outside of big blue cities this time around? Maybe I'm just whistling in the dark, but when will they notice that hipster Jon Stewart has hair plugs? Aren't those around the water coolers a lot more insecure about their jobs, lives, educations and futures? Do these Mean Girls really have what they had in 2008?
You're making a great point. I'm in SC about to vote for Gingrich, I guess, because he's running the closest to Mittz. I'd rather have Perry, but he couldn't run the race. Of course, I'm thinking what Might Have Been with Sarah.
Guess I'll pray for a brokered convention, but you are also discounting the ABO party, which will gain in passion as November gets closer.
Sorry, but I know I loved SNL, and watched it all the time. After 2008, I don't watch the crap, and I was a loyal lifelong democrat, I voted and campaigned for Hillary. And I saw what they did to her.
I couldn't care less what SNL says about Romney or any other republican, I'll vote for a roll of toilet paper if that the republican nominee.
SNL only had power when it was seen as an equal opportunity offender, as they are no longer seen that way, even people who are former recovering lefties like me do not give a crap what they say. And I suspect I am not the only one who sees the establishment media this way.
The troubling bit about this is that there's very little conservatives can do to neutralize the SNL problem, short of having a time machine, some crack conservative humorists, and the backing of a major network. There's no time to really build up a conservative alternative, there's no way to convince people to stop watching it (which, the fact that anyone still does is completely inexplicable to me), etc.
The only thing that I can think of that might work (and this really is more for the Mormons in general than for Mitt in specific) is to make fun of themselves in such a way as to diffuse the attacks. This strategy seems to have worked fairly well for the Jews. Maybe a Mitt Romney commercial parodying the doorbell opening number of The Book of Mormon. Or a parody of Joseph Smith – the Musical! from South Park. Or something viral, something funny, something non-huffy.
KaKring —
The problem with the “make fun of themselves” to be proactive idea is that Mormons are proving to be very prickly and prone to lashing out when those outside Mormonism talk about them. This is what makes me think the general election will be a disaster.
Mormons don’t go to the lengths that Muslims do when they feel offended, but they are much worse than Jews when they are being mocked. Jews have a great sense of humor and can give as good as they get. Mormons prickle and take punches at anyone who is talking about them. Muslims, of course, threaten to kill you or actually cut off your head or bomb you for “offending Islam”.
I really think I need to start printing the hatemail I get from Mormons just for using the word “Mormon”. I rarely do this because I don’t want to encourage haters to write in with this stuff and give them front-page exposure, but I think it’s really scary how prickly some Mormons are being when I’m only trying to warn them of what’s coming. If they act like this now, then I just don’t know what they are going to do when the Left declares all out war on Mormons.
And then when Romney loses to Obama, Mormons are going to be blamed for it and they’re going to prickle and be angry for many years to come because they’ll be blamed for Obama’s second term.
This is what’s coming….and I don’t see anyone properly preparing for it.
Oh I know, and you're right. And unfortunately, I don't see the LDSers as likely to develop a really good sense of humor about this whole thing within the next 10 months or so.
So, with that said, how DO they/we go about properly preparing for it?
Yawn, ask me if I care what a bunch of twits think. I don't like Romney, either, but I'll vote for literally anybody on the face of the earth before I'll vote for the commie in the White House.
Should Romney become the nominee and the left wants to make a big deal of his being a Mormon, then I think it is our duty to make a big deal out of Barry Soetero being a Muslim and let the voters decide which faith is most compatible with our Constitution and values.