O’Keefe does it again. Andrew Breitbart would be so proud.
[ Click above to embiggen: what events from 2013 would make a future list? ]
Today is Father’s Day…and it’s also a week before the large-scale “Pride” events take place here in Chicago. So, I’ve tried to collect questions people have submitted about the role of fathers in a gay guy’s life and will attempt to answer some of these queries today about the relationships a lot of gay guys have with their dads. This is part of our ongoing month-long look at everything you may have ever wondered about the “gay community” but were always afraid to ask; since our first gay president Barack Obama officially declared June to be “Pride Month” and the State Media continues to use June to paint gays as perpetual victims of evil, persecution-prone Christians…I think it’s only appropriate that we look at all of the things that Democrats don’t like to address when it comes to gays.
1. QUESTION: Do gays have good relationships with their fathers when they are growing up? Does a man turn his son gay by doing something wrong as a father that leads his son to be gay?
ANSWER: I’ve noticed a very interesting pattern that’s held true with almost everyone I’ve known in the “gay community” since I came out at age 18…and that’s the consistent fact that most gay guys are closer to their mothers than their fathers…and with lesbians, it’s the reverse. There seems to be strong anecdotal evidence that suggests gay guys tend to have better adult friendships with their mothers…while lesbians tend to be closer to their dads; the really interesting thing, though, is that growing up and before coming out gay guys seem to have fought more with their mothers and lesbians appear to have battled it out with their fathers…while the same-sex parents were distant or nonexistent in their lives. Additionally, the opposite-sex parent seems to have been largely oblivious to the son or daughter being gay while the same-sex parent picked up on something “being different” super early (and often earlier than the gay person him or herself even realized he or she was “different”).
One of the things that Leftists enjoy doing is claiming that you can’t generalize or stereotype (except whenever that works to Democrats’ advantage, of course). But, I think that’s garbage and believe that stereotypes exist for a reason…and that’s because patterns do in fact emerge in people’s behavior and general rules can be culled from observing things that happen over and over again in certain demographic groups. The Left enjoys playing Devil’s Advocate and insisting that if one example can be found that disproves a stereotype then you have to abandon it…but that’s just more Alinsky nonsense from these dangerous loons. Don’t listen to them. Stereotypes are great because they are a kind of cultural shorthand that comes in handy all the time. I love them!
The vast majority of gay guys I know fought like cats and dogs with their mothers when they were growing up…but almost none of the straight men I know had much conflict at all with their mothers as kids; as adults, something weird happens and gay guys become closer to their moms than the straight guys are with their mothers. In fact, when their mothers are like Debbie Reynolds’ age, gay guys are taking their moms to drag shows and male strip clubs. It’s hilarious…and the mothers make sure to tell every jockstrapped go-go-boy in a bar how proud they are of their gay sons.
With lesbians I know, their dads were the targets of their teenaged angst…but then become confidantes when these lesbians become adults; straight girls are usually “daddy’s girls” growing up and that doesn’t seem to change much when they are older (and straight women seem to stay “daddy’s girls” to their dads and never become as close of adult friends with their fathers as they are with their mothers). Straight girls tend to revere their fathers while telling their mothers all their secrets…and the fathers are supposed to always see the daughters as virginal, perfect perpetual sixteen year olds. Lesbians, meanwhile, learn auto mechanics and technical skills from their dads and have long and involved conversations with them about investments, real estate, general contracting, hunting, and other things that even straight boys don’t get much counsel from their dads on. I don’t know of any lesbians who sit around drinking beer and talking to their fathers about Playboy centerfolds…but I also don’t know many dads who give their straight sons the kind of in-depth life advice about financial matters and practical things that the fathers of lesbians give their daughters.
It’s pretty fascinating, really…and it would be fun to apply for a multi-million dollar federal grant to study all of this in exhaustive detail (since, at this point, if you aren’t looting the Treasury alongside everyone in the Obama Regime then you are missing the whole point of the Golden Age of Hope and Change), but I think there is a repeating pattern that with gay people the opposite-sex parent is the antagonist in childhood but then somehow the gay kid becomes an adult who is much closer to the opposite-sex parent than the same-sex parent after age 27 or so. I don’t know what’s so special about age 27…but almost every gay person I know has a life that can be looked at as “Before he turned 27″ or “After he turned 27″. My boyfriend Justin thinks something to do with brain development happens around this age and people just fully “bake” into their adult selves (instead of the mostly raw cookie dough that defines adolescence and the slightly-gooey nearly-there imperfection of early adulthood).
This might be happening even younger for kids who come out in high school (or even grade school) than it did for my age-peers and people older than me, since up until the Millennial generation it was most common for people to come out and embrace their sexuality in college (after age 18)…and being “out” in high school was almost unheard of (especially for people older than Gen X/Gen Y). Double all this for anyone growing up in Cleveland, Ohio (where I am from) or even more remote places like rural Arkansas (from which Justin hails).
On a very personal level, it’s 100% clear to me as I sit and type this at age 36 that my mother knew I was gay about 10 years before I figured it out…and it made her really uncomfortable. My mother and I used to spend a lot of time together by default, since my dad was always off doing something that he enjoyed more than spending time with us; it was always a bowling league, a basketball pick-up game, a flag football match, soccer, hockey, or whatever. That left me home with my mother…and that usually would mean she’d somehow trick me into doing chores at church, “volunteering” without any choice or say in the matter for some community project or another, or helping with whatever my Grandma Emma needed (since my mother’s mother only lived a few blocks away and my mom would do something for her every day…which meant I was conscripting into helping).
I always thought things like baseball or basketball were stupid and pointless and to this day don’t “get” the fun in competing in something that has no consequence. I always loved competition…but I liked it best in terms of getting a good grade on school papers or building a project to win the science fair or drawing a picture that would place high in the local stamp design competition or whatever. Chasing a ball around on a field for several hours just seemed dumb to me when at the end of all that nothing was really decided and no one much cared who won or lost. I still don’t know how grown men can sit around enthralled by ESPN…unless they are secretly gay and are just checking out the young sweaty guys on display (for this reason I am convinced that ESPN actually has more gay viewers than the Tony Awards or Oscars combined). As an adult, a fun day for me is still going to a School Board meeting and demanding to know why a male stripper and erotic entertainer is teaching sixth grade or flustering docents at a museum by challenging all the “global warming” propaganda in the exhibits…and most certainly not running around chasing a ball and trying to kick it into something. I thrive on competition and confrontation…but in decidedly different arenas than I’m supposed to.
I’ve mentioned this story before, but I can clearly remember my mother freaking out when some high school guy in a letterman’s jacket checked me out at the mall when I was around 14 or 15…but I was clueless about what happened. She and I would fight over stupid stuff all the time, or it would be arguments over the fact she’d “tricked” me again into scrubbing the floors of our church with Murphy’s oil soap all Saturday when she told me we were actually going to the mall to get me art supplies I needed for school. The street we lived on back in Cleveland was situated so that at the end of our block if my mom turned left in the car we’d get to the freeway and would actually go to the mall (or wherever she said we were going)…but if she turned right, we’d really be going to either Grandma Emma’s house (to do chores for her) or to church (to do chores there for other people). I remember holding my breath and saying “please turn left, please turn left, please turn left” because every time we’d get in the car I’d hope that my mother had listened and that she wasn’t going to lie anymore about where we were going that day…and that if she said we were going to lunch and buying school clothes or whatever that this is what we would really be doing…but, instead she’d say we were only “going to drop off raffle tickets” or just “picking up some banana bread from Grandma’s”. I can’t remember a single time when we really in fact just dropped something off or picked something up and didn’t get roped into hours of “volunteer work” when I thought we were headed to Chi Chi’s at Great Northern Mall and then on to Office Max for new binders.
I laugh, because at 36 I actually pull this kind of stuff on my boyfriend Justin all the time without really thinking about it. Just the other day I was telling my good friend Justine (who has a daughter around Justin’s age) that I understand my mother so much better now than I ever did at 26 or certainly 16. I can even imagine why she pulled the “turn right instead of turn left onto the freeway” stunts all the time…she just didn’t want to have the argument about me not wanting to go to Grandma’s again or not wanting to spend the day scraping wax out of the bottom of metal candle-holders with butter knives at church all Saturday…and she figured if I was in the car and it was moving that she’d never have to have that pre-car fight. I’d pout and would roll my eyes as soon as the car started turning right…but it was just the big charade we’d stage since I’d end up doing whatever she wanted me to anyway. I’d grumble, of course, until we got to church and then I’d be smiling and charming in front of the priest and church ladies and the ever-watching eyes of all the many statued saints…because that’s how I was taught to behave in public and my mother counted on my manners giving her whatever she wanted that day.
With Justin, he’s just extremely lazy and won’t leave the apartment unless he absolutely has to…which means that if we are going somewhere for any reason at all I just instinctively seize the opportunity of being in the car to knock out a couple other errands too. Because I don’t know when it will be that I get him in the car again (and I don’t drive myself). Like, if we have to drop off a package at the post office for his baby niece Astor…I’ll wait until he’s in the car and then rush back into the apartment with a bunch of cardboard boxes that have been sitting on our back porch needing to go to the recycling center (which is on the way to the post office); of course, on the way back from mailing the present to Astor I’ll have him pop over to the grocery store (so that I don’t have to walk up there later to get us supplies). If he’s being crabby about any of this, I’ll think of something really oddball to do after that (like hunting for the impossible-to-find Lay’s Chicken & Waffles flavor potato chips at Target or wherever)…since if he’s in a bad mood already, I do what my mother did and just keep pushing ahead since I know he can’t get much more upset than he already is (thanks, Mom!). Justin absolutely hates this, because in his mind he was just going to the post office because he truly had to…and he doesn’t care much that I see this trip in the car as a rare opportunity to get as much crossed off my to-do list as possible (or to hunt for novelty snack foods like Ahab after whales).
My mother was strategic with her trips in the car exactly like this and saw me as available labor to help knock things off her own to-do list; she also loved to talk and enjoyed having someone to listen to her when she was driving (and strangely here in 2013 Justin is a real chatterbox and loves being listened to as well…so if you felt bad for Justin a second ago you should know that he gives as good as he gets when he’s in that car). The fact that we typically never got around to doing whatever I wanted to do when I stepped into the vehicle wasn’t so much her lying about where we were going as it was her believing she could just quickly do some errands…and then eventually do what we were supposed to do. However, Grandma Emma and the church ladies we’d encounter would want to talk…and talk…and talk…and the day would get away from us. 25 years later, with most of these people long gone and even our old church razed to the ground after being closed by the Diocese, I actually think it’s all sort of sweet…and some days would give almost anything to be back there in Cleveland in 1987 scrubbing the floors under the pews at St. Andrew’s with Murphy’s oil soap while Grandma Emma held court with the Ladies’ Guild somewhere in the Rectory talking about people behind their backs (bless their hearts) or planning the next roast beef dinner or Bazaar carnival.
So, I too, have transitioned from seeing my mother as an antagonist to viewing her as a nice lady who did the best that she could and had good intentions; in Cleveland, we’d call this “meaning well”…regardless of the outcome. I am too old and have been through too much to hold any resentment towards her for anything and enjoy believing she really did the best she could with what she had to work with…in the same way that I wake up each morning with limited time and resources but a sisyphean to-do list. Having a gay kid really threw her for a loop because I don’t think that was a possibility she ever considered back in the Carter Administration when she was 23 and pregnant with me; I doubt she even believed gay people were real and probably thought they were just a joke like Billy Crystal on “Soap”. I know she was not delighted to deduce I was gay and put together the pieces of that puzzle before I did…especially not in the 1980s when AIDS just terrorized people’s imaginations…and I bet all of Cleveland pretty much believed that a gay guy would die a horrible death as a wasted-away, walking corpse like people had seen with Rock Hudson.
They “gay community” is actually really determined to alienate young gay guys from their families…and I think this works pretty well with guys when they are just coming out…but the spell really does break around age 27 or so. This is because “gay activists” enjoy telling young gay guys fresh on the bar scene that their parents were monsters for not accepting them for who they are or immediately joining PFLAG…or for not mimicking Sharon Gless’ character Debbie Novotny from “Queer As Folk” (who was a flamboyant, rainbow-loving, loud woman who was more excited about her son Michael being gay than he was…see below). Language warning, though…as Debbie can make sailors blush with her vocabulary.
Someone like Mrs. Novotny is who gay activists proclaim every mother has to be..for her to sufficiently “accept” her son…but I don’t think it’s fair to dictate that every mother of a gay son needs to cover herself in rainbows, slap on a Ronald McDonald wig, and sling hash in a 24-hour gay restaurant in Boystown to prove her bona fides. I’m laughing because I actually remember that my mother had a rainbow car air freshener that hung from her rearview mirror all through the late-80s and into the early-90s, and she loved it so much she had a little stack of them in the glove compartment for when one of them went stale. And then around the time that older boy checked me out at the mall everything rainbow-oriented in the house disappeared…including the reserves of air fresheners in the car. I’ve always known my mother didn’t do this as some kind of an F-U to me…but that’s how “gay activists” would paint it. ”See”, they’d whisper…”She hates her gay son, so she hates the rainbows…and this is why you must now hate her in return!”.
The only way I can really describe these people is by referring you to the eels Flotsam and Jetsam in Disney’s version of The Little Mermaid (less swearing in this clip, I promise):
“Gay activists” are very much like these eels. They’re a sort of predator in the “gay community” that seek out youth who have just come out or who are in the process of doing so…and the activists endeavor to pull these young guys away from their families. They tell fledging gays that their families are evil and were always terrible to them…but that they can have a happy life “in the community” far away from their parents. Then they sell the young gays all sorts of
eel snake oil about how their mothers and fathers will never understand or appreciate them…but the colorful characters of the “gay community” will embrace them and love them…so long as they vote Democrat and take up positions as foot soldiers in the gay ranks of the Culture Wars. Stray from the Democrats’ planation, however, and Ursula the Sea Witch has got nothing on what the Gaystapo will do to a free-thinking gay man who rejects the Left’s cultural programming. Trust me on that.
It’s sick…but these eels are incredibly effective. In just my years here in Chicago I’ve seen so many young gay guys pulled deep into the Left by these creatures. Some of them never reemerge as anything like the people they were before the Gaystapo laid claim on them.
But, the situation’s not hopeless. As I said, age 27 seems to be a magical time in a gay guy’s life because it’s around then that the eels lose their influence and a lot of guys restore relationships with their mothers…and then after that, their fathers. The fathers are almost always last, though. Even for lesbians. I don’t know why.
The reason for this is very complicated…but it might have something to do with the same-sex parent having more of a problem with the child being attracted to members of the same gender. Maybe there’s less ice to thaw with a mother because she can mentally understand an attraction to hot men (since she liked Tom Cruise and Matthew Broderick back in the day…so maybe it’s easier for her to wrap her head around why her son is so into Henry Cavill and Matt Bomer in 2013) but a father will never “get” why his son finds other dudes so appealing.
I bet a lesbian could have written much more about fathers than I ever could, even on Father’s Day, but my dad just was never a big part of my life. I probably can remember a dozen conversations I ever had with him that didn’t involve him yelling about something or making fun of me…but with hindsight here at age 36 I know he never meant any harm. I have to explain to Justin all the time that in Cleveland there’s a very weird sense of humor called “funnin” (no “g” at the end of that…and absolutely no actual “fun” in the process) whereby people tend to “joke” with one another by saying insulting things, Rodney Dangerfield/Joan Rivers style. Everyone’s supposed to laugh at themselves and not take any of it personally…but I always hated it. My dad LOVED this sort of insult humor, though, and I think his way of being playful with me was to “joke” like that…never really understanding that I thought it was all extremely hurtful and self-esteem-destroying….whereas he just saw it as “funnin”. So, him telling me I acted like “a little sissy” or that I “ran like a girl” or whatever was interpreted differently by our two very different brains.
In all my years, the only other place I’ve ever seen this done outside of Cleveland is actually in Arab cultures…where it’s this weird badge of honor to think up fast-paced insults for someone…and then the other person has to volley them right back at the instigator with even more biting disparaging…and then everyone embraces and laughs heartily like nothing at all about this was passive-aggressive and twisted.
Addressing the “question of the day” today, I don’t believe that fathers can turn their sons gay…because I saw my dad as a jerk for most of my life because of his proclivity for “funnin”…and by this logic wouldn’t you think I’d never want to be with a guy because my dad was so unpleasant for me to deal with? You’d think that would be the last thing I’d want to experience as an adult…since my male role models were all “funners” who were toxic to be around.
I also don’t think it’s fair to say that because my father was always off playing sports in those “Peter Pan” adult football, basketball, soccer and other leagues that he didn’t do enough with me and that made me gay. I think that correlation is not causation in this case, because being gay made me not interested in playing those games…and since he liked sports himself he wasn’t going to let the fact that I didn’t like them stop him from getting exercise and having friends and playing those games. So, he just did what he wanted to do and left me at home since he had sense enough to know I’d be miserable if I was dragged to the basketball court and didn’t want to be there. Would I have rather had him be miserable sitting at home and not doing that stuff just because I didn’t seem to want any part in it? The eels of the Gaystapo would say YES!…but I think those people are idiots.
My dad was a very inventing and crafty guy who built a pool in our backyard because he knew I liked to swim…and in the winter one year when a freak surge of rain flooded the backyard and then immediately froze, he actually rigged up a makeshift ice skating rink back there and bought me a pair of skates. I actually got into hockey as a result of that, which is the one sport I know anything about. Through the years, this has really come in handy when I’ve worked in offices because I am incredibly adroit at turning any conversation to hockey if straight guys are talking sports and try to include me…but I don’t know a thing about baseball, football, or whatever. I am really great at derailing whatever they were talking about and start going on about the Lake Erie Monsters, the Cleveland Barons, or the Pittsburgh Penguins and I skip around through all sorts of decades to make it as confusing as possible for non-hockey-loving straight guys (which is the majority of these people in offices) and then suddenly everyone wants to get back to work and shut up. It’s my number one favorite office survival skill and it has never failed me.
My dad also used to play Star Wars action figures with me…where we’d set the little guys up behind little forts made of cardboard and we’d use these foam-shotting guns that he bought us and we’d have to take out each of the little figures like snipers; whoever still had at least one figure standing at the end won…and my dad never let me win at anything. If I beat him, I beat him…but he had no qualms about trouncing me at anything. I could lose one hundred games in a row and he would laugh in my face because I hadn’t thought up a strategy for beating him. And when I did win, he wouldn’t stand there and be proud or anything…he’d just be pissed and would redouble his efforts to clean my clock another hundred times.
I admire and respect that at 36 because I’ve always felt that my successes in life were my own and I never believed anything was handed to me. ”Winning” always means something to me…and I think I respect the arena of competition more as a result. To this day, I’ve never had an opponent as aggressive or unyielding as my own father…not even in the arena of politics.
Great Merciful Zeus, I really miss my dad today. I didn’t see that coming. Like my mom, I know he did the best he could with me. The “gay community” won’t admit this to you, ever, but I think raising a gay kid is a unique challenge that some people aren’t prepared for. It’s a real curve ball…and parents ARE NOT BAD if they don’t handle this perfectly. I know my parents still love me even if we’re estranged because I’m gay…and I also know that if I ever needed them that they’d be there for me. As off-doing-his-own-thing as my father was when I was a kid, if anyone ever messed with me and I couldn’t handle it myself he’d roar to my defense like a saber-toothed tiger. I remember one time a nun at school hit me repeatedly on the ears for coloring the sky on a worksheet purple instead of blue (because I wanted it to be night and for some reason Sister Mary Howard couldn’t handle that)…and when my father heard she’d beat on me in the classroom it was like the Fury of Olympus was directed at that school; he had the principal, the pastor, and that wayward nun in sniveling in tears as he explained to the three of them (like they were small children) that adults do not ever hit students…and he then made each one of these grown people apologize to me and explain why what the nun did was wrong. He didn’t sue the school (like I would have), he didn’t demand the teacher be fired (like i also would have done), and he didn’t publicize it as a national issue (I detect a distinct pattern here)…he just scared the everliving s*** out of all three of them but reigned the fury in just before one of them had a heart attack.
It’s remarkable, but on the few occasions when Justin’s made negative remarks about either of my parents he says that my eyes “go black”, my spine stiffens, and Justin claims “it looks like lightning’s about to shoot out of (my) fists” as I tell him to back off and not criticize people he’s never met and doesn’t understand. I similarly avoid criticizing his parent’s rearing of him and the choices they made in Justin’s upbringing…because I think it’s just beyond trashy to sit in judgment of another person’s parenting style…PARTICULARLY when things involve parents who were thrown the curve ball of raising a gay kid.
I respect my parents more today than I ever did growing up and I regret not having this wisdom back when we were still living under the same roof…or on occasions in the past when I could have thanked them for being awesome or understood them when they were frustrating to me.
At age 36, I am fully aware I have somehow managed to pick up nearly every one of my parents’ worst traits…including the strategically maneuvering the car to head towards any and all errands thing. But I like to think I have the best of them too…on top of doing things my own way as a writer and operative in the digital age. I think I have my mother’s cunning and strategic mind…and I have my dad’s sabertooth smile when needed. They both sort of had the black eyes and lightning bolt stuff that Justin so memorably described…but I think that’s a Cleveland thing that’s picked up just by growing up in Thunderdome. I’m proud to be a son of Cleveland…and my parents’ son as well, faults and all.
When my father was my-age-now he had an 11 year old boy to look out for who didn’t like sports, but who loved “Dynasty” and “Dallas” on tee-vee and who was clearly not ever going to be interested in either girls or growing up to a life in Cleveland. The Flotsam and Jetsam of the “gay community” have honestly drilled into my head since I was 18 that my father should be hated for not being thrilled by this…but I think fairness dictates that I realize no one can ever say how my dad “should” have reacted to the situation. He was who he was in the time and place that he lived in…just as I am now here in Chicago in 2013.
Would I have wanted him to be like fathers on tee-vee who were automatically supportive of everything and who always had the perfect thing to say? Hell to the NO. I never thought the tee-vee dads were all that great…and I am not a kumbaya, everything’s always smooth-sailing sort of guy. I think it would be creepy, actually, if my dad was super-supportive of my being gay and was thrilled by it. How WEIRD would that be to talk about guys with him? It would be weird to do that with my mother, too, but I think this is also a cultural thing with how I was raised and the dynamics of my family. I know some gays just love talking about hot guys with their moms…but that’s as alien to me as working on a carburetor with my dad. Not going to happen in this or any lifetime.
Being with Justin has been such an eye-opening life experience for me because I never realized that growing up in Cleveland I am actually a lot more formal than a lot of people I encounter. Justin’s family belches and passes gas at the dinner table and they all laugh and think that’s just hilarious (like in that movie The Krumps, only Eddie Murphy doesn’t play all of these people). Never in a million years would that have happened in my house. Justin’s mother calls him every single day for three-hour conversations about everything she is terrified of and all the people plotting against her…and I don’t think I ever remember a single time either of my parents talked to me about fears or showed any sort of weakness at all. Justin’s dad drinks beer, gets drunk and loud, and does Reese Witherspoon impressions around town and everyone thinks it’s a spectacular badge of honor…while I think the only time I ever saw either of my parents imbibe alcohol was a single Blue Hawaii during a Don Ho-style dinner show at the Pacific Pearl Polynesian Restaurant back in Ohio or a little champagne on New Year’s Eve (the smallest bottle possible, with most of it poured down the drain at 12:15am 1/1/Whatever).
I like being more formal than people in Arkansas (and/or Reese Witherspoon too)…even though I think there’s nothing wrong with them being however they want to be. I like this in the way that I love being Catholic instead of Protestant…and the way I do like being gay over straight. It’s hard to articulate, but all of this is just part of my cultural heritage, upbringing, and (for lack of a better word) “wiring”. I’m thankful for all of it and wouldn’t change a damn thing. It’s what makes me “me” and I celebrate it all.
I guess I’ll close this “answer” to the original question presented by saying that only the person involved in a relationship can say whether it’s “good” or “bad” because those terms are just so charged and pregnant with all manner of meaning. A lot of gay people will tell you they have terrible relationships with their parents or that they had such awful childhoods…but you need to be skeptical when listening to this garbage. Remember that a lot of gay people fall victim to those elapine “activists” of the Flotsam and Jetsam variety who have a clear agenda in getting as many gay people as possible to declare their parents terrible. Do not ever — not for a Cleveland minute — facilitate this sort of garbage because it only helps the Left.
Optimistically, I think at some point every gay person just naturally stops listening to these duplicitous eels and starts hearing what’s in his or her own heart…and the version of the past that got all twisted up and negated for so many years ultimately is restored to some sense of reality in time. Not all prodigal sons and daughters ever return home…but I’ve seen more than enough of these reunions to know that the “gay activists” lose in the end just as often as they “win” and these monsters don’t keep all families ripped apart.
The Left is a powerful, dark force…but in the end it’s no match for love.
QUESTION FOR COMMENTS: What else would you like to know about the gay community in general? What else don’t you understand as we look at June, “the Pride Month”? No topic is off the table, folks…so if you want to know about it then ask about it.
– Open Thread –
[ Click on images above to reach Amazon and checkout their copies of "1984", the book and the movie ]
Drudge Report flashed a story yesterday that sales of George Orwell’s “1984″ have surged by 69% on Amazon in the wake of the latest Obama Regime scandals. Today, Breitbart.com claims “1984″ has reached a 91% increase in sales.
Do you own a copy of “1984″?
I had an old, battered paperback copy from high school…but actually ordered a Kindle electronic version and picked up a hardcover edition for 1-cent (plus $3.99 shipping). I’d personally love to see a 1000% surge in the sale of this book…a number so large that the media can’t ignore the phenomenon. If every conservative person in the country bought a copy of “1984″ today, that would happen.
I’m an Amazon Prime member so I can watch the movie version of “1984″ for free…which I also plan on doing. But, if you like collecting DVDs there is no better time than right now to buy yourself a copy of this movie on disk.
If you are upset by what you’re hearing about the IRS, the NSA, the Justice Department, and Homeland Security these days…be part of something and send a message by picking up a copy of “1984″ for your family and friends. You can do what I did and look for used copies for 1-cent and after shipping it’s $4 a copy…so that’s affordable if you want to get a bunch of these and hand them out to your kids, grandkids, or neighbors.
I actually think I might do this and spend $20 for five copies…and just pick five houses around us and leave these on their porches with a note inside saying “I never thought it would happen in real life, but this is what Hope and Change has brought us in 2013″.
Just to get people in the neighborhood here in Chicago talking.
Why not consider this where you live?
I know money is tight everywhere…but this is worth skipping Starbucks or other treats for a while…just to drive the sales of “1984″ sky high on Amazon.
[ Click above to embiggen: what will be 2013's entry in history? ]
Since June is “Pride Month” (as officially designated by our “first gay president” Barack Obama), I think it’s important to take a look as the “dark side of the rainbow” that the media never addresses with the gay community. Hence, ask any question you like about gay people and how they’re often useful idiots for the institutional Left and I’ll answer it in these Open Threads every day for the month of June:
1. QUESTION: As I understand gay sex, a man is trying to put his penis inside some opening usually on another man. Isn’t this pretend hetero sex? Jokes that spew anger at a woman’s anatomy which is the perfect recepticle, sounds like a clever, creative way of referring the anxiety of being a misfit.
ANSWER: Well, the first thing you should know is that not all gay guys are into anal sex…but that straight guys are actually probably more into it at this point, since internet porn that’s been sexualizing the Millennial generation has made this something that straight teens and twenty-somethings are fascinated by. I think it’s gross and insultingly heteronormative…and I think it was the 1970s and 80s porn that pushed it on the “gay community”.
I wish I could remember what documentary this was in, but a gay historian in some movie (it might have been this one: Gay Sex in the 70s…www.amazon.com) talked about how anal sex was heavily promoted in the 1970s in porn movies…and how this culture developed in gay circles that if you weren’t doing this then something was wrong with you. So there was intense pressure to do this, even if you didn’t want to engage in it. Self-styled activists claimed that gay guys needed to do this as an affront to religious people…since it had shades of Sodm & Gamorrah to it…and any self-respecting gay man had to have as much anal sex as possible because it offended religious sensibilities. You should know by now that upsetting religious people is a high priority for gay “activists” eight days a week.
Perversely, all that anal sex led to the explosion of HIV/AIDS transmission…which was a twisted and ironic consequence of deliberately convincing the “gay community” that it needed to engage in anal sex (which, apparently before the 1970s, was not something gay guys automatically did). If not for that push to stick it to religious people by doing the first thing that Bible-quoters scolded gay people for doing, then maybe the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s wouldn’t have happened (at least not to the extent that it did). The Gaystapo leadership, of course, will never take any responsibility for this.
Through the years, I’ve heard a few gay “activists” actually come around to the notion that anal sex is heteronormative behavior that’s trying to force two guys to approximate what a man and woman would be doing sexually…and that this can’t be a good thing because gay people shouldn’t ape what straight people are up to. This is how I feel about “gay marriage” and the “commitment ceremonies” that some gay people want to have…which are just surreal bastardizations of weddings that straight people have.
I’m not a straight person and I am not interested in having a “gay version” of anything that straight people do. No thanks. I like to think I’m more creative and original than that…and that I can invent something of my own for occasions where I’d like to mark an occasion or celebrate something in my own way as a gay man…but I DO NOT WANT a “gay equivalent” of something from the straight world. To me, this is like going to the store and buying RC or store-brand generic cola when the clearly best thing on the shelf is Coke. But, for whatever reason I can’t have the Coke…so I am expected to settle and be happy with the RC or whatever. No thanks. I’ll instead grab some club soda, some fresh pomegranates, a bag of cherries, and make my own juice cocktail that I like better (and is better for me) than the Coke.
Gay people can be really stupid sometimes. I know the media tells you that we’re all clever and funny and so stylish or whatever, but really the “gay community” at large is pretty unthinking and generally just does whatever the Gaystapo leadership tells these people to do. Since anal sex is promoted in porn and it’s depicted as the thing to do for young gay guys, people do it. And, of course, they do it “bareback” (which means without protection) so that HIV/AIDS is spreading at an escalated rate these days. That’s all part of the institutional Left’s plan to infect as many gay men as possible…and thus keep the community under Democrats’ control, with AIDS medications dangled over their heads as a reason to keep voting Democrat forever.
I got into a lot of this yesterday…so scroll down for more on the deliberate spread of HIV in the “gay community” by the institutional Left.
2. QUESTION: I read that sexual assaults in the military have gone up 35%, with most of the increase being attributed to male on male sexual assaults. Does this happen a lot among gay guys? What about lesbians? Do they report it?
ANSWER: This is one of those things where you can’t really believe the statistics being put forward right now. I read that the military recently changed what it considered “sexual assault”…and that term was purposefully widened to include things like pats on the behind…which are gestures of camaraderie that most people who played team sports growing up are familiar with. Suddenly, something like that is being considered “sexual assault”. I also heard that wrestling and other male-on-male horseplay is now being considered “sexual assault” as well…which might be coming as quite the shock to guys who are doing this to one another, since most of them are not gay and don’t mean anything gay in their horsing around.
This is just an example of the military being weakened with this politically-correct garbage. Straight guys are always little boys inside to some extent, and guys like to wrestle and play around. This is especially true if you think about the age of the guys in the military: they are in their late teens to mid-20s, for the most part. Every single military guy I’ve ever known has described the experience as intense “brotherhood”…and the guys in his troop or platoon or whatever were the closest friends he’s ever had. There is nothing sexual in the love that these guys in the military have for each other…and it’s really like a brotherly love that now is being criminalized because of the knee-jerk “everything is sexual assault!” screeching going on.
I smell a rat in this. It feels like someone with an anti-gay agenda is ginning up these numbers so that this group can then say, “See! Lookit! It was a bad idea to allow openly gay people in the military! They are assaulting everybody!”. No, that’s not what’s happening…it’s that someone in the institutional Left adjusted the definition of “sexual assault” recently so that EVERYTHING under the sun is now considered assault…probably just to cause chaos and trouble and to weaken the military’s morale. Which is always a goal of the institutional Left.
I’ve had 16 boyfriends of note in my life, and four of them were military guys (two Marines, an Army Ranger, and one Naval officer); all of them were great guys who loved being in the service…and they had to hide who they really were in order to serve. They were great in their roles in the military…but I can’t help believing they would have been EVEN BETTER had they been allowed to truly be themselves and not have to spend part of their energy every day hiding their sexuality for fear of being maliciously persecuted by agenda-driven officers and booted out of the service at any time. Because that’s what happened under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell…there was blackmail, an ever present threat of someone who didn’t like you outing you just to get rid of you, people who wanted certain jobs stoking witch hunts of gays to better their chances for certain promotions, etc.
Don’t believe these new sexual assault statistics. I think it might be revenge from those who lost their blackmail/intimidation industry when DADT was repealed. The lone regret I have in this life is that I never got to wear the uniform of a United States Marine…and the one thing that kept me from enlisting was that I knew I was gay and couldn’t lie in uniform. I’m too old now at 36 to even be considered for the Marines, or I’d join up in a heartbeat…and I will regret for the rest of my life that I never got to be part of the awesomeness that is the Marines.
I am, however, pleased that young gay guys who are in their teens and twenties don’t have to miss their chance of being part of awesomeness…and the Marines will get fine, creative, and dedicated young men who would have been excluded from the ranks in the past. I like to think I would have made a good Marine and would have given as much as I’d have benefitted from the uniform…and I like knowing that other guys like me in high school and in college now won’t have to miss their chances just because they’ve never had any interest in girls.
QUESTION FOR COMMENTS: What other questions do you have about either the gay community or the institutional Left’s use of gays in strategic terms?
What else is on your minds today, June 11th 2013?
– Open Thread –
[ Click above to embiggen: what will be important for 2013? ]
Continuing our month-long look at “the dark side of the rainbow” and the bad things about the gay community that the media refuses to talk about, here are some more answers to questions submitted by readers via email or thread-comments in recent days:
1. QUESTION: You’ve accused Democrats of purposefully trying to start a new outbreak of AIDS amongst gays. That’s a pretty serious charge. Do you really believe that?
ANSWER: Oh, Hell to the YES…because that’s exactly what they are doing…but the media will never report on this. I believe this to be an orchestrated effort by the institutional Left to increase the number of gay men infected with HIV/AIDS so that these guys end up dependent on the state for medicine…and thus Democrats exploit that dependence and keep these guys perpetual Democrat voters (in much the same way that Democrats endeavor to keep blacks poor and uneducated…and the way they insist on keeping Hispanics from learning English so they too remain poor and uneducated…and the way Democrats attempt to reduce women to just their genitals so that they can be best controlled by the Left as well).
For the last several years, the Gaystapo leadership of the “gay community” has been promoting a thing called “Poz Pride”…which is supposedly meant to show that people with HIV can be active and involved in the “community” alongside HIV-negative people. But, the Left’s marketing and branding machine have been turned up so high on this that it appears there’s a bigger strategy behind all of this. Really, the effort is meant to make young gay guys believe that HIV is nothing to be afraid of anymore and that they no longer need to use condoms…because catching HIV is not so bad…since they can then have “Poz Pride”.
Here in Chicago, Sidetrack the Video Bar hosts “Poz Pride” events where local HIV-positive drag queens and other performers take the stage and claim they are “ending the stigma” attached to having HIV. I can see the reasoning behind having an event to “end the stigma” of having red-hair or being left-handed, but having HIV should be always seen as undesirable. We should be compassionate towards those who have HIV/AIDS…but we should not “end the stigma” so that catching HIV is seen as nothing worse than catching a cold.
This is what the institutional Left is up to right now, though…and it’s both sick and dangerous. A great website for the scoop on gay life in LA is WeHoConfidential…which recently did a story on the young gay guys there not using condoms and engaging in unprotected sex like it was 1979. Be warned: the site is pretty graphic and frank in its discussions of gay sex and they don’t mince words ever. 75% of young gay guys polled say they don’t use condoms when having sex…with 61% of them saying “it’s their personal choice” to not use condoms and that “they love it!”.
This is a direct result of the “Poz Pride” propaganda that’s blanketed the gay community in recent years…because young guys are no longer being told that condoms and avoiding risky sex are the only ways to stay healthy. Now, guys are being told that they have a choice on whether or not to use condoms…and that, basically, if they do catch HIV it’s not the end of the world.
In any gay magazine you pick up you will see ads for HIV medications that show guys climbing mountains, running through the surf, and doing all sorts of high-adventure things outdoors…with tag lines like “HIV no longer holds you back!’. The message is that this is not a big deal anymore and that guys in their 20s and early 30s shouldn’t care about HIV the way Generations X & Y were scared to death of the disease.
Here in Chicago, one study a few years ago showed that 3 out of 5 black gay men were HIV-positive; many of these guys have beards (women they are married to or who serve as their “girlfriends”) and live “on the down low”. Some of these are “men who have sex with men” but who don’t gay-identify…and when they have unprotected sex with other men they then bring whatever they catch back to the black community and spread it to women…who also, it seems, spread it to other men. It’s a truly vicious cycle…and it’s all being encouraged by the propaganda that HIV/AIDS is not something to be concerned about any longer.
Democrats benefit from all of this because people who are sick and who depend on expensive medications to survive look to the government to provide that for them…and Democrats openly promote themselves as the party that believes the government exists to take care of people. Black people are taught by Democrats that the government will give them food and housing and monthly stipends, so that they do not have to work. Women are taught they must vote Democrat because one day they might want to murder a baby growing inside them and only Democrats will celebrate that event. Democrats push for everything to be written in Spanish so that Hispanics never learn English and, thus, remain easy for Democrats to control. Meanwhile, Democrats actively promote risky sexual behavior amongst gays while simultaneously teaching young gay guys that HIV is nothing to be afraid of; the end result is that more gay men get infected with HIV/AIDS and then become dependent on the government…so they get locked in forever as Democrat voters.
It’s hard for a lot of people to understand just how evil the institutional Left truly is…but this is truly happening in big cities like Chicago right now. You can see it too, even if you aren’t part of the gay community, by just picking up any issue of The Advocate, Genre, or OUT magazines and looking through the paid advertisements that pepper the glossy pages. It’s as if HIV/AIDS is a minor inconvenience here in 2013…and one, of course, that Democrats can resolve if gays just stay on the plantation and always vote for the Left.
2. QUESTION: What’s the absolute worst thing you ever saw the “gay community” do to anyone?
ANSWER: I think it’s sick that gay guys really enjoy mocking people who are handicapped or disabled…and in particular, it’s horrible that they still — to this day — make fun of little Trig Palin (Governor Sarah Palin’s youngest child, who has Down Syndrome). Gay comedians in Chicago regularly mocked little Trig. Once again, Sidetrack the Video Bar took the lead in this and aired “comedy sketches” where Trig was mocked for having Down Syndrome. This was about more than just gays wanting to take a stab at Governor Palin by way of her child…and really tapped into a mean streak that runs through a lot of gay guys. They just really and truly do enjoy mercilessly picking on someone as defenseless and innocent as a baby with Down Syndrome.
I don’t know where that comes from, but it might be rooted in the misogyny that’s rampant in the gay community and the fact that a lot of gays refer to straight people as “breeders”. Women’s anatomy is another subject that gays mock and malign in “comedy sketches”…and abortion jokes are always popular in gay comedy venues. It’s actually something gays toss around very casually; you see this on Facebook a lot, where one gay guy will say he is going to be busy all day and another will ask what he’s doing…and the first guy will say, “Oh, just getting an abortion and then heading out for a tan”. Other Facebook friends will write “LOL!” or “Me too!” under that. Not a single one of them will state how sick any of this is…because if someone did, that person would be “defended” and then ostracized.
Gay guys, when in a group of “Mean Girls” like this, often come off as bitter and malicious goblins…who hate women, babies, and traditional families. There’s a true sense of bitterness and resentment in them when they do this. A lot of times, they seem like monsters in a fairytale who would be living under a bridge…but here in 2013 they’re camped out on Facebook spreading hatred towards pregnant women and little babies. It’s sick.
I think this is also part of a deliberate push by the institutional Left to use gays to destroy the classic American nuclear family. The Left really wants all children to be raised by single mothers…and for all families to be on some sort of welfare. The Left would like all men to either be gay or to be absent from a household, so that little boys will grow up being indoctrinated solely by their teachers in public schools…who, of course, teach little boys that they are bad because they have penises and that they should never exhibit any masculine traits or characteristics (since those are bad too). The institutional Left is counting on these teachers to produce young men who are wimpy, who never question authority, and who believe the government is the solution for everything.
Gays often serve as the pop culture goon squads that enforce a lot of this thinking in the entertainment industry…or who remain ever at the ready to be deployed as attackers of traditional families at events in June themed to “Pride”. Just watch: a lot of these parades and festivals will not be focused on how great it is to be gay…but how bad traditional families are and how “disgusting” those “breeders” are that have children and nuclear families.
QUESTION FOR COMMENTS: What other things have you wondered about the “gay community” or the role it plays for the institutional Left?
What else is on your minds this Monday June 10th, 2013?
– Open Thread –
[ Click above to embiggen: what will be important for the year 2013? ]
As we push deeper into June, you’re going to be hearing more screeching and wailing from the “gay community” about all the evil things that Christians and conservatives supposedly do to gays in the year 2013. Almost all of what the media writes in newspapers and magazines or reads off the tee-vee is lies and propaganda…all designed to use gays as a means of attacking conservative Americans, since any criticism of gays is deemed “homophobia” (in much the same way that speaking out about bad things that black people do is called “Ray Ciss” by the Ministry of Truth that is our national media). I’ve been enjoying fielding questions from all of you about things you’ve long-wondered about the “gay community” and hope you continue to submit your queries via email or in these daily threads through the entire “Pride Month” of June. Nothing is off limits and I’ll do my best to get to every question asked.
1. QUESTION: I’m an older person, so I grew up at a time when being gay wasn’t cool and people didn’t come out, sometimes not for their whole life. I have known people who considered themselves “asexual.” I believe they were really gay but couldn’t accept that, and they were never attracted to the opposite sex, so they just opted out. One of them was a man, and when he got to know some gay men in college (and some of them hit on him) he said he hated gays. He also had a lot of women hit on him, or fall in love with him, and he hated that too. I still believe he was really gay, but I don’t know if he ever accepted it. Does that happen now?
ANSWER: I think some people really are “asexual” and don’t have an attraction to either gender. I’ve listed him as an example before and will note him again now…Tim Gunn. He’s the host/mentor of the Project Runway reality show and he talks openly about being asexual. He started off as gay and then had a horrible breakup in the past and decided he didn’t want to put himself through that again. Clearly, he still has some attraction to guys because he flirts with a lot of the male contestants on the show…but I don’t even know if he realizes he’s doing it. He states regularly that he has not had any sort of romantic involvement with a guy in a very, very long time though and is now asexual.
I have met some asexual people who say they never were attracted to either gender. I believe them. There is a lot we don’t know about the human brain. I don’t think that asexual people are destined to be lonely or anything…because the ones I’ve known have a lot of friends and live full lives. I think it’s unfair to look at someone and say that he or she needs to be with someone to be happy or enjoy life.
Truth be told, I loved being single and actually had no intention of ever having a boyfriend again…and then Justin came along. He’s a great guy and I love being with him, but if he’d decide to move back to Arkansas at some point in the future because he prefers living in the country and I am a city boy through and through then I wonder if I’d ever have a live-in boyfriend again. I got so much more work done when I was single and there are a lot of freelancing gigs that I end up not taking because something Justin-related gets in the way. I think there’s going to be a point in life where I’m going to have to choose between career opportunities and being in a relationship…and I don’t know what the choice is going to be.
More people than you would think make that sort of choice all the time…and being single is their preferred vocation. It seems like a lot of people who have been married for a long time seem to think that being single is bad or lonely, but it’s not. It’s just a different way to live, with its own pros and cons.
2. QUESTION: You mentioned in a previous post about gay men having hot girls to hang out with who consequently attract other gay men into their circle. This must sound silly, but how do gay men know what constitutes a “hot girl”? Must she look like a super model? I work with many straight men from various backgrounds and what one finds hot the other finds unattractive. Would you say there’s more interracial dating among gays than straights? Would you say that the majority of gays on the left who are screaming for gay marriage rights are not in fact that into marriage and fidelity? Seems like you’ve stated or implied that cheating and strip clubs are a big part of the gay lifestyle as many of the gays, at least in Boystown, are overgrown adolescents. Just trying to understand when the gay lifestyle transitioned from flamboyant to two guys driving a sedan transporting kids to soccer practice.
ANSWER: I’m totally gay but I think I can identify a “hot girl” really well…but I think my standards are much, much higher than a straight guy’s. To me, a woman is “hot” when she’s classy, elegant, beautiful, outgoing, witty, and is comfortable in her own skin. She’s the kind of girl who walks into a room and turns heads and never gets lost in a crowd. There’s just a spark to her, and gay guys want to be her friend while straight guys want to get her number. She’s the sort of girl that can be very picky with whom she chooses to go out with…because she certainly doesn’t lack for suiters. There’s no requirement for her to be supermodel thin, though…and she doesn’t have to be a young co-ed either. I have friends who are very hot women and they are all sizes, colors, and ages…but sitting here thinking about your question the one thing that they all share is that sense of self-confidence.
These are women who don’t need anyone to tell them they are beautiful or to buy drinks for them or carry their purse or whatever…and I think what makes them so attractive is that a party or a night at the club really does pick up when they come around. Gay men like and respect women who are confident, never mousy, and who appreciate their own worth.
The other side of this coin is that there remains a type of girl with low-self-esteem and no self-confidence who tends to hang around gay guys or go to gay clubs because she then has an excuse for not meeting any straight guys ever or having a boyfriend…and those are the girls that the media still calls “fag hags” (but I think that’s an ugly and hateful term that you should never use). When I talk about women like this, I call them “Graces” (in reference to the character Grace Adler from the old tee-vee show “Will & Grace”, as played by Debra Messing in the late-90s and early 2000s); I’ve also seen these women called “fruit flies” (also derogatory) or “fairy princesses” (which is nicer-sounding, but still cutesy-tunes). I feel bad for these girls because they end up being dragged around as an audience for gay guys to either make laugh (at the gay guys’ jokes) or make fun of (when the gay guys talk about how “pathetic” she is when she goes to use the bathroom or something). Younger gay guys in their 20s and early 30s enjoy having hangers-on like this and like performing for the audience of “Graces” who get dragged around sidekick-style by these gays.
No self-respecting woman would ever be a “Grace”, let alone a “fag hag” or “fruit fly”. It’s cool to have gay friends…but strive to be the awesome, confident, incredible woman that gay guys want to hang around…and never be the sad, lonely, desperate “Grace” who vicariously lives through gay men’s adventures or who serves as an ever-present audience for their antics.
As for interracial dating, that almost never happens in the “gay community” because black men are treated HORRIBLY by gay guys. Gays are incredibly racist in general and really enjoy “ghetto humor”, where comedians in gay clubs or bars mock black people’s intelligence, their style of speaking, and drug use in the black community. I’ve written about this in recent weeks because of comedian Bradley Thomas Balof (who is also a Chicago public school teacher) and the fact that he mocks his black students for gay audiences (and elicits uproarious laughter from them as a result). This is incredibly common…and truly sad. But gays without any comedic talent know they will have audiences falling off their chairs with laughter if they make fun of black people.
To be fair, in black comedy clubs all around town THOSE comics are making fun of gays and receiving similar uproarious laughter from black people who think making fun of “fags” is funny. This is one of those instances where two factions of the institutional Left’s voting bloc hate, malign, and mock one another all the time…but you probably never hear about that.
There is a segment of gay white men who are REALLY into black guys when it comes to the “leather community”; these are guys that are submissives and enjoy being dominated by black men. There’s a whole “white slave/black master” sub-genre of the gay fetish community where white gay men enjoy having black men urinate on them, whip them, or treat them as collared slaves. At the recent International Mr. Leather (IML) festival held in Chicago over Memorial Day Weekend there was even a white slave auction where black “masters” got to bid on and collect white sex slaves for use during the festival. This is a regular thing…and a typical part of BDSM activities.
It’s rare, though, to find gay guys who aren’t into leather or fetish who date black men. At bars, black guys are usually excluded and ignored. This is really tragic because these same black guys are alienated from the black community, since blacks direct a lot of hatred towards gays. That’s why there’s so much pressure for these guys to keep quiet about being gay and live “on the down low”, the way Barack Obama and other high-profile gay black men do. Life is so much easier for them if they just screw around with guys in private and maintain public beards so they don’t become the butts of jokes for those black comedians.
As far as “gay marriage” goes…I can tell you that many of the gays I see in Chicago screaming for “marriage equality” are all in open relationships or cheat on their boyfriends all the time. So, they really don’t want “marriage equality” so much as they want to “win” and “defeat” conservatives and Christians. Does that make sense? It’s like small children wanting and wanting and wanting something for Christmas…but if you’d buy them that, they’d not even play with it and be onto wanting something else. Or, more apt, they just want the thing because then someone else can’t have it…and then once they’d get it they’d lose interest in it entirely. I think “gay marriage” is just something for a lot of these guys to screech about because they want the attention of screaming and yelling and they also enjoy feeling like they are “activists” because they are demanding this. But, they really don’t want to be in committed relationships because that would mean they’d have to stop going to Steamworks and having anonymous sex with strangers every weekend.
I don’t really think 90% of these people want to drive a sedan and go to soccer practice. Most of them want to keep living above the bars in Boystown, picking up different boys every night for sex, and spending all their paychecks every two weeks on designer clothes, booze, and frequent trips to places even more fabulous than Chicago. Lesbians may want to settle down and drive sedans…but gay guys are lost boys who just want to keep partying.
3. QUESTION: Kevin, how do you feel about gay or lesbian couples adopting kids?
ANSWER: I think it’s sad that the media doesn’t focus on what is actually best for the kids in these hypothetical adoptions. As in, the emphasis is put on whether gays should be allowed to adopt or not…as if we’re talking about gays being allowed to buy movie tickets or gays being allowed to sit in the window booths at a restaurant. This should not be about what gay people want to do or like to do…but should be about whether kids would thrive and have great lives with a gay couple.
I actually think lesbians would probably make great parents as a rule but that gay guys really aren’t mature or responsible enough to be adoptive parents. There are exceptions to this, of course, but I think stereotypes exist for a reason and that is because they are rooted in some truth. I do think that if gays adopt that they should only adopt opposite-sex children. So, lesbians can raise little boys and gay guys should raise little girls…but that they should not be awarded same-sex children ever. That’s airing things on the side of extreme caution…which is what should happen when adoption is being talked about.
I don’t think enough attention is put on WHY gay “activists” screech about wanting to adopt kids. Is this something they truly want to do altruistically to help needy children…or is this yet again about gay people wanting attention and demanding things, just because like spoiled children they have a need to be in the news wailing about SOMETHING. That now-defunct tee-vee show “The New Normal” that aired on NBC last season featured a very spoiled and self-centered gay couple that wanted to adopt a child because the more flamboyant of the two guys wanted to buy baby clothes and he felt that Angelina Jolie, Madonna, and Sandra Bullock were outpacing him in life because they were able to adopt. When the adoption agency turned these guys down, they just decided to have a surrogate carry a baby for them instead; they had more money than they knew what to do with and this baby was essentially just another expensive thing they were buying for themselves. Twenty years ago, they would have been purchasing a white tiger or albino lion cub…but in 2013 they want a baby as an exotic status symbol.
Now, one of my exes actually adopted a troubled teen with his partner…and they created a great little family. The teen they adopted was bounced around foster homes for years and was one of the kids that would have aged-out of the system into a pretty crummy life at some point. But, my ex and his partner gave this kid a nice, safe home and helped get him back on track in life. I think they plan on doing this for another troubled teen after this current one goes on to college. My ex was adopted himself in a similar situation when he was younger and he’s “paying forward” the kindness of his adoptive parents.
So, his intentions were altruistic and solid…and not seeking attention or status.
I think that adoption agencies should be draconian strict when it comes to the best interests of the child…and that no one should feel politically-correct pressure to hand a kid off to a gay couple just because it’s hip and cool to do so…or because the agency is terrified of the Gaystapo picketing or screeching for this to happen. If there is any indication that a gay couple is seeking to adopt just because they want a living doll to play with or because they think this will give him a great status symbol they coveted, then the adoption should be denied.
I do think it’s ideal for a child to have a mother and a father in a stable household…and that the institutional Left has been undermining this for so many decades that people seem afraid to state the truth. But, a mother and a father give a child the best chance of succeeding in life…and I don’t think that two mothers or two fathers has that same stable environment. I think the goal of an adoption should be to give a child the very best situation possible…and if there are straight couples who are able to care for children I do believe they should be given preference.
It might sound politically-incorrect, but the only children I think should ever be even considered for adoption by gays are the kids that can’t be placed with any straight couple…like that troubled teen that no one else wanted that my ex and his partner adopted. If gays REALLY want to adopt and really are doing it because they want to help, then let them take on the troubled teens who need good homes. But, leave the adorable little babies that spoiled gay couples seem to covet as living dolls to straight families who can better care for these children.
I just know I’m going to get hatemail on this one, but it’s about damn time someone said this. Because it’s true!
4. QUESTION: My questions- What is your opinion on the recent Boy Scouts of America decision to allow openly gay youths to participate in its activities? What is “openly gay” anyway?
ANSWER: I think that gay boys under 18 should be allowed to participate in Boy Scouts…but should be kicked out and prosecuted under applicable laws if they do anything sexual to other boys while in scouting (just as ANYONE should be handled if they do anything like that, whatever their gender or preference). So, just strictly enforce the rules of conduct in scouting for everyone and things will be fine.
It’s a new phenomenon, this coming out as a grade-schooler or teenager. Nothing like that was possible when I was a kid in the 80s and 90s. We should also be very clear that we are talking about VERY RARE circumstances where a boy would be gay, know he is gay, be openly gay, and also want to be in boy scouts. I didn’t realize I was gay until I was 18…so I would not have been one of the people involved in this situation back in the 80s and 90s.
I think this is going to be a non-issue just because of the very small number of boys that would be involved in the matter. And I bet if those boys are indeed openly gay that it would be pretty obvious to anyone who is not deaf and blind that the kids are gay…as the ones who tend to come out really early are the kinds of boys who are pretty flamboyant and flaming. I’m sure I’ll get hatemail for saying that, but it’s true. The more flaming you are, the earlier you come out…like that character Kurt on the tee-vee show “Glee”. He was just so gay that he would have exploded in a swirl of rainbows and confetti if he hadn’t come out in high school.
“Openly gay” refers to admitted you are gay to yourself and others. Here’s how this would play out:
Some idiot asks a clearly gay little boy “Do you have a girlfriend yet?”. I don’t know if people are this stupid in 2013, but when I was a kid I would get asked this by idiots in Cleveland and it would make me very uncomfortable. I didn’t figure out that I liked boys, yet, but I knew I didn’t want a girlfriend and all sorts of well-intentioned fools would push this issue with me…asking me if I had a girlfriend in a tone of voice that made it clear the answer I should give was “YES” and that any other answer was wrong.
An “openly gay” boy would answer: “No, I don’t have a girlfriend. I like boys. I have a crush on your son, Jimmy, in fact”. Maybe he would not be that forward…and maybe he’d just say, “No, I’m gay” and leave it at that. But an openly gay kid would not humor the idiot or be embarrassed about stating without question that NO he was not interested in girls.
I think it’s great that someone is that self-aware as a kid to know he is gay while in grade school or high school…if he really came up with that notion on his own and this was not forced on him by parents who think it’s cool to have a gay kid. I bet it’s really rare for a young kid to be openly gay…but I think that tee-vee shows like “Glee” are making it much easier to come out earlier, since they are presenting being gay as an option that was definitely not presented when I was grade school or high school age.
QUESTION FOR COMMENTS: What other questions do you have about what goes on in the gay community?
What else is on your mind this Saturday June 8th, 2013?
– Open Thread –
[ Click above to embiggen: what will be important for 2013? ]
Continuing our look at “the dark side of the rainbow” in terms of the “gay community’s” bad behavior all during “pride month” of June (that’s sure a lot of “quotation marks”!), here are some more questions people have submitted about things gay people do (with my answers that seem to be upsetting a lot of Gaystapo members):
1. Question: Why do some gay guys grow up, but so many don’t, as you have said?
ANSWER: I think some of this has to do with the sort of jobs they might have. I know one guy who was very immature and I thought he would never change…but he ended up getting a job with one of the money-managing firms downtown and he’s slowly had to dial everything back as a result. Three years ago, he’d be posting all sorts of crazy stuff on Facebook but I think the company he works for makes him stop doing that…and in fact he deleted his old Facebook account and now uses a different one.
If a guy works in a gay bar, a restaurant, or for any gay-focused company he never has to grow up, though. I think this also applies to working for either the City or any nonprofit organization too. But if a guy’s working any job where a video of him being posted to YouTube of him being drunk of out his mind or dancing in his underwear at some gay event would upset his employers then I think the guy grows up and leaves the Boystown antics behind.
In a lot of ways, gay guys do act like frat boys…and you all know that frat boys usually graduate from college and move into careers. In Boystown, though, someone can be in his 50s and still be acting like an immature frat boy…as long as he has the looks and body to pull it off.
At some point, though, everyone ages out of these antics…and if you are still a barfly in your late-50s and 60s and beyond you end up becoming one of the sad trolls in the corner, watching the younger guys up on the stage in their underpants and wishing you were young enough to do that too. These older guys typically shell out a lot of money for attention and make “friends” with the strippers and go-go boys around town…and those guys are glad to be “friends” as long as the older guys keep stuffing fives and twenties into their jockstraps.
I think the nightlife scene is fun…and Hera knows it’s an excellent source of gossip and information…but if you are someone who is going out drinking every night after you’ve turned 30 (35 tops) then I think you need to start planning your evolution into a more mature person. There’s more things in life worth experiencing than bars night after night. At some point, you’ve seen enough strippers, watched enough dance videos, have either picked up enough guys or been picked up enough to last a lifetime…and you just need to see what else is out there that might interest you. Like, maybe reading books or something. Imagine that.
2. Question: Kevin, Regarding the B in the LGBTetc acronym. Why include Bs at all? What could they possibly be griping about?
ANSWER: This is referring to the acronym “LGBTQAI” that you will see a lot of all June, during “pride month”, because it is the title that the “gay community” officially uses. Back when I was a freshman in college in the mid-90s the gay groups on campus were called GBLT or GLBT…but the names were changed to “LGBT” around 2000 or so because gay groups were getting made fun of as “BLT” sandwich clubs (no joke); also, some very militant and nasty lesbians made a big stink about gay guys always being the face of the “gay community” and that lesbians should be listed first in any acronym. This is just so funny, because it reminds me of old-timey days where men would let women walk through a door first…but, lesbians are supposed to be against chivalrous things like that…while simultaneously demanding to be listed first in an acronym for the “gay community”. If you watch gay people long enough you’ll see all sorts of glaring inconsistencies with their logic such as this. It’s kind of hilarious, actually.
The “B” in “LGBT” has always stood for “bisexuals”…and for the longest time I thought that was just a big joke because I really didn’t believe that people could be “bi”…and that “bi” was just a stepping stone to being gay. From age 18 until maybe 30 I really thought that people who said they were “bi” were just either doing it for attention or were trying to straddle two worlds (with maybe a safety net to return to being straight). But, I have come to know a lot of people who legitimately are “bi”…or are actually a thing called “pansexual” and have a fluid sexuality. That starts getting into very philosophical topics, but it basically is like the character Orlando from literature…and at one point in life being straight, then being gay, then being straight again, or even identifying with different genders at different times of existence. There really are people like this…and, of course, they are bullied and maligned by The Tolerant Left and the “gay community” at large.
Bisexuals are scoffed at and told to just pick a side already…but they are not disrespected as much as transgendered people (who really are treated like The Untouchables of Hindu society). You would be SHOCKED how many married “straight” men are actually bisexual. In Chicago, the nicer gyms like FFC and Equinox all have steam rooms and saunas and married men of all ages enjoy hanging out in there comparing their penises and performing sexual acts on one another. If you go on Craigslist and look up your city, you will find the PERSONALS section; look under “men seeking men” and type “married” in the search box. Today for Chicago’s Craigslist there are 658 ads up for married guys wanting to do things with other married guys while their wives are at their mothers’ houses or are out shopping or whatever. This is stunningly common.
I think that a lot of these married guys don’t want to be gay and have a boyfriend and live in the gay scene…but they think it’s exciting to be with other men sexually. So, these guys are emotionally straight and they enjoy sex with a woman…but they also like doing things with another man’s body too. Straight guys are a lot more complicated than people give them credit for being. I actually think a lot of the reason that some straight guys love watching football or baseball so much is because they enjoy watching other men with great bodies running around chasing things. They won’t admit it, but there’s no way that ESPN’s ratings are so high just because the color commentary provided during games is so compelling.
The rest of the “LGBTQAI” acronym always confuses people so I might as well spell out what’s left: the “Q” stands for “gender queer” and the “AI” is for robots. I kid. The “A” is for “asexuals” and the “I” is for “intersex”. ”Gender queer” is really hard to explain, but these people are basically anarchists; their primary interest is to “queer” society in general…and destroy anything that is traditional or the way people have always thought or done something. i find a lot of these people very obnoxious and in the last decade the most militant and Leftist of gay activists have started to operate under the “gender queer” label and become more vocal. I kind of see this in the way that Islamists put up a front-organization like CAIR and pretend they are not doing anything bad, but they really are radicals who want to bring down the system. Whenever you see anything talking about “gender queer” you should know that “queering” society is a political and cultural aim of the Left…and it’s just about dissolving the foundations of American society and culture. I have never understood the end game of these people or what they want to replace America with…but they really are just more useful idiots that the Left sends out just to create chaos in their own ways. ”Queering” marriage is a big thing for them…because if they destroy marriage as something special and sacred then they will destroy the desire to have traditional families…and it helps lead the Left to a place where children are not really raised by parents but are in the control of the state and the Leftist public school teachers will have more power to indoctrinate the next generation into the cult of Leftism.
Any idiots out there who still call these people “liberals” can feel free to slap yourselves in the face right now. Same goes for any morons who call them “progressives” too. And I don’t care if Ann Coulter uses those terms…because she’s a fool too whenever she refers to these Leftists by any of the terms they enjoy using for themselves. Dummies.
I believe that “asexuals” are real but you’ll be hard-pressed to meet very many who self-identity like this. A lot of people in the “gay community” do get burned out at some point and don’t want to be in any more relationships. This happens to guys a lot, because the gay community promotes promiscuity and open relationships…and if you are someone who happens to like other guys but hate being cheated on there could be a time when you just decide you don’t want to have your heart broken again. A very famous “asexual” person is Tim Gunn from Project Runway, who has talked openly about being asexual and celibate. I believe what happened to him is that he was in a relationship with someone he loved and the guy cheated on him…and he decided to never let that happen again. It’s really devastating and cruel if you are someone who would never cheat but you’re with someone who betrays you…and what makes it even worse is the fact that the “gay community” will usually side with the cheater and tell YOU to get over it “go cheat on him right back and even the score!”. Sometimes, gay people are real jackasses because they truly think like this. It’s incredibly immature and reminds me of behavior that would be happening on Pleasure Island with all the donkey-boys running around stuffing their faces with goodies and acting like animals…because rules of decent behavior don’t apply on Pleasure Island…and they don’t often apply in Boystown either.
“Intersex” people are what used to be called “hermaphrodites”; these are people who were born with either both sets of genitals or had genitals that aren’t distinctly male or female. This is incredibly rare, and it’s not like transgendered people transitioning from one gender to another. ”Intersex” people often feel like they are not part of either world and might switch back and forth between male or female personas while trying to find themselves. I don’t think Saturday Night Live meant to portray someone “intesex” with the character “Pat” (portrayed by Julia Sweeney)…but that character is the only “intersex” person that most people can ever think of, since “Pat” appeared to be someone who was neither male nor female and was “just Pat”.
3. Question: Having many Catholic friends myself and with me being Greek Orthodox I’m well aware of the Church’s teachings on bedroom behavior, particularly the instructions that those who partake of the Eucharist are not to use their mouths for other parts of the body and that some parts of the body are exit-only. How do you as a gay man, Catholic or former Catholic, reconcile this? Forgive me if these questions are too direct for I do not know how else to ask them. I presume their must be many opinions on this in the gay community but given the MSM’s control I’d never know what they are.
ANSWER: I don’t remember ever hearing anything about being gay the whole time I was in Catholic School, aside from maybe one lesson during sex education class when I was a junior in high school. Gays were never a topic of discussion at mass during the priest’s homilies either. My boyfriend Justin is some kind of Protestant and I know his family used to read the Bible and quote scripture at each other about different things, like those were magic spells to zap one another, but Catholics don’t do that (at least not how I was raised in Ohio). They sure didn’t encourage people to be gay…but it would kind of be a thing that people knew about and then endeavored to ignore about someone. I don’t know how they do things back in Ohio now, but that’s how it was in the 80s and 90s and before I left in the mid-2000s.
I do remember in religion class in high school that the teacher would talk about marriage and would promote that as the ideal…that boys were supposed to want to find a wife and have children and that girls were supposed to want to find a man and get married and become moms. And so after a very brief (as in, one lesson or two at most) look at the biology of sex I remember the majority of “sex education” class being about what it mean to be a good parent and how to run a household and provide for a family. My friends who went to public school say they never had ANYTHING like this…which might be part of the problem with the public education system. Where public school spend so much time promoting sex amongst teens and going into graphic detail about how to do it, in Catholic school the physical act of sex was downplayed and more attention was placed on the consequences of it.
Thinking back, I remember my religion teacher putting up a slide that showed the different kinds of “love”…and they were all Latin words like agape, philia, eros, storage, etc. And I remember the emphasis being that at different points in your life you feel these different kinds of love for different people, but that the eros love should be reserved between a man and a woman…and then the Holy Spirit would see to it that possibly children were born of that when a couple was stable and ready.
I remember it was a HUGE shock when this one girl named Autumn Thornton got pregnant my junior year, I think…and a boy named Jeff Hobart impregnated a girl from son other school and had a son before we’d graduated. This was a HUGE SCANDAL and I remember these two classmates being shunned pretty strongly, especially Autumn. It is beyond surreal for me to realize that those babies these two had (with different people) ARE NOW IN COLLEGE. Great Merciful Zeus, the time has flown.
I am scanning through my memory palace for any relics of those religion classes to see if being gay was ever mentioned at all…and I think they may have told us that some people might be tempted to become homosexual but that they should resist that and be celibate instead. The ideal promoted was to be married but there was also the notion that some people should respond to a single vocation or to become members of a religious order. When I was in high school, I do remember a few clearly gay guys being pushed towards becoming priests…because I think that in the 90s they were still trying to do things like that, if a guy was recognized as being potentially gay and a community wanted to give him a purpose (or a cover for never having a girlfriend or wife). This was certainly a misguided thing to do that seems foolish now…but I bet that happened more times than we know.
I was never pushed towards anything like this and no one from Catholic School ever had any conversation with me about being gay. I do think it’s FASCINATING to take a look back at not only my own class but the classes above and below mine…because in every year there was actually a guy a lot like me who ended up being gay when he got older. We were all high-achievers, presidents of student groups, good at art or public speaking or creative things, popular and outgoing, nice-looking, and we all had lots of very pretty girls as friends but weren’t really close friends with too many other guys. I think it must be remarkable to be a high school teacher and to be able to look through the years and probably be able to spot which guys would end up gay…even in a Catholic School where subtle things were trying to steer potentially gay guys towards other vocations.
Justin had a totally different experience growing up because his parents would zap him with those Bible quotes and condemnations..and the preachers at his congregations would yell at him or otherwise “counsel” him to become straight. They even shipped him off to those treatment camps to try to turn him straight, where all the “therapists” were supposedly ex-gay but were more flamboyant than the entertainment on cruise ships. Justin’s funny because he is often this meek little guy who is so scared of the world around him…but the whole time that his parents or his congregation were doing things like this and trying to “cure” him he’d just laugh at them and tell them they were wasting their time. Justin’s very respectful of his parents, even when they are doing crazy things, but he does say they are fools in thinking they can ever have him “fixed”. They keep trying, though, and still in fact try setting him up with girls when he’s back in Arkansas for visits.
What’s funniest about all of this is that Justin’s mother CarolAnne can be quite nasty to me at times on the phone because she hates Catholics and enjoys taking little verbal stabs at me. She reminds me A LOT of the character Maxine Fortenberry on “True Blood”, as portrayed on that show by the actress Dale Raoul. She loves saying that Catholics are into “mumbo jumbo” and whatever…but yet she’s the one that thinks Bible quotes are magic spells that can zap Justin straight if she says them enough. So, the same woman who mocks communion and Holy Water and the reverence for Mary believes in “magic” when it comes to turning her son straight. Every time she’s being nasty to me, I just remember this and say over and over in my head “she knows not what she does” while I summon an immense reservoir of patience. I will never, ever be unkind to CarolAnne no matter what bizarre or biting things she says to me; I actually think she keeps trying to provoke fights between us on things like this just for something to do.
Another thing worth mentioning here is actually thanks to Glenn Beck, and I will be grateful for this the rest of my life. It’s something that happened to me at the Glenn Beck Restoring America rally in Washington DC three years ago…where the crowd was hot and uncomfortable in the sun and nerves started to get frayed. People would try to move through the crowd to get to one point or another and it got irritating for some, since once they’d just moved to let a group through another would want to come through. A woman near me in the crowd just had enough at one point and got snappy with this very elegant lady from the South, who had such grace and poise…she really could have been an angel undercover. When the woman snapped at her, the Elegant Lady just said, “Oh, my. I pray for your patience” and then just smiled with a warmth like the sun. The irritated woman was instantly calmed and moved out of the Elegant Lady’s way without fuss…and then was calm for the rest of the rally.
I’m still in awe by that, and by how effortlessly that Elegant Woman kept her cool and calm and her positive and relaxed energy was just so contagious. She really rose to the challenge that day and answered nastiness and negativity with patience and prayer in an honest way of her own choosing. And it totally disarmed the situation…without her backing down and going some other way just because the irritated woman was trying to block her path. I endeavor to be exactly this way with Justin’s mother when she starts up nastiness towards me…and every day is a challenge to be as good at this as that Elegant Lady I encountered in Washington three summers ago.
4. Question: Did you know pedophiles are now seeking inclusion in LGBT, claiming discrimination for sexual orientation?
ANSWER: I saw that…but there’s more to it than this. These are really “gender queer” people doing this, because it’s part of “queering” our society. The institutional Left is pushing this in much the same way that Leftists promote Islam in America…because these things are against the traditional American experience. This is part of “the enemy of my enemy is my ally at the moment” type thinking on the Left’s part. Pushing pedophilia and Islam on Americans is a way of rattling people, making them upset, scaring them, and even distracting them so that the Left can accomplish other things in broad daylight.
I think the Left counts on people being too afraid of being called bigots or homophobes to do anything about the promotion of pedophilia…which, you need to always remember, is a main tenet of Islam (in that Muslim men consider young boys to be sexual play things until these men are married and then are expected to have children…but the young male playthings never really seem to go away). As long as a Muslim male has a wife and is not living with an adult male, then pedophilia is quite common and accepted in Islam. The people who are beheaded are the Muslims who won’t take a wife and only want to be with other males of consenting age.
The institutional Left is truly evil. At 36, I see that clearly. Evil is real and it votes Democrat. I don’t care if a duck or a sock puppet is on the ballot challenging a Democrat…because I would vote for my personal nemesis if it meant casting a vote against a Democrat. The Democrat Party since 2008 has really openly become about destroying everything traditional in this country and replacing it with the polar opposite…and it’s just to create enough chaos for the Left to completely seize power and “transform” America the way Barack Obama has repeatedly promised.
5. Question: Do you think the effeminate sing-songy voices associated with gay men is learned or does the factors that naturally cause gayness affect the vocal chords?
ANSWER: Have you ever heard Madonna or Gwenyth Paltrow speak, now that they both live in England for most of the year? They have these weird, fake, cloying “British” accents now when they give interviews. Why is that?
I think that gay guys who are in the “gay scene” tend to end up picking up turns of phrase or speech patterns from older gays who were in the scene before them. This is similar to black people talking in stereotypical “ghetto” ways that get lampooned on tee-vee. I think it’s just something that even the most educated and well-meaning people just do for some reason…because I think talking in that stereotypical way is the easiest way to get attention in the community and show some “flavor”. The media encourages Hispanics to do this as well, and to speak broken English even if they’ve been in this country for 20 years…because that heavy accent and garbled speech is considered “spicy” or “flavorful”.
At their hearts, most people want attention and have a desire to be listened to. In communities of very loud and outspoken people I think a way to quickly gain acceptance and be heard by other community members is to fall in line with the way that other people who are “heard” in the community speak. For gays, that means being queeny and flamboyant when talking…with lots of emotion and gesticulations. For blacks, it means talking “ghetto” and being loud and thuggish…which the media sure promotes on the tee-vee. For Hispanics, it means doing the Ricky Ricardo impression and being loud and “spicy”.
Do you see a pattern here?
All the demographic subgroups of the Left are encouraged to be loud, ridiculous, and to speak in stereotypical ways that differentiate them from the rest of Americans. That can’t be an accident…and neither is it accidental that the media constantly pushes these stereotypes and encourages young member of these niche groups to keep speaking and acting in certain ways, to be “cool” like those that have come before them or to be “flavorful”. They also encourage these people to never speak properly or act like rational people on tee-vee, because that would be “acting white”…which even gay people won’t do, because they want to be seen as being “proud” to be gay and not trying to pass as straight or be “boring”.
QUESTION FOR COMMENTS: Do you have anything you ever wondered about the “gay community” but were always afraid to ask? Now’s your chance to ask a gay conservative guy anything via email or in comments on this thread.
What else is on your minds today June 7th, 2013?
– Open Thread –
[ Click above to embiggen: what will make history for 2013? ]
For the entire month of June, I’ll be fielding questions from anyone who has anything he or she wants to know about the “gay community”, the thuggish “Gaystapo” that controls it, and how gays have largely become useful idiots that do the institutional Left’s bidding without thinking. So, if there is anything that bothers you about the way gay people behave and you want to know why they do this or that certain thing…ask your question via email or in comments and I will get to it as soon as possible. Here are a few questions that were posed in the last several days:
1. QUESTION: Kevin, it finally occurred to me, how do you function in the gay community? Not only are you normal but you are a conservative. Are you the only gay conservative on earth?
ANSWER: Well, my boyfriend Justin is a gay conservative too. I’m friends with other gay conservative writers out there…and I have a lot of friends in GOProud. Surprisingly enough, there are other gay guys who went to my high school back in Ohio who are out now…and they are all gay Republicans, as well as their boyfriends. So there are more of us than you would think.
The thing is, though, that most of these guys keep a low profile because they don’t want to be harassed. A few times when I’ve been out in Boystown people have come up to me and thrown drinks in my face and screamed things at me because they didn’t like an essay I wrote…usually because I don’t support “gay marriage” and instead want the state to provide only civil unions for EVERYONE of consenting adult age and get out of the marriage business entirely (reserving “marriage” as a sacrament in religious terms). You have to remember that Leftists operate from a place of volcanic, irrational emotion and they can’t have a civilized discussion with you on anything…instead, they lash out, scream, throw things, and attempt to bully you. This is “The Tolerant Left” in action and these people really don’t seem able to control themselves.
This happened to me at Sidetrack the Video Bar here in Boystown, which has pretty much become the institutional Left’s indoctrination center in gay Chicago. One of Sidetrack’s bartenders, a guy named David Oakes, started harassing me back in the fall of 2010 because he didn’t like that I was a gay conservative; he’d actually rile up patrons of the bar against me, by pointing at me, telling them I was a “traitor” to the gay community, and encouraging them to come over and harm me in some way because Oakes didn’t like my writing (and also seems to believe that I rigged Dancing with the Stars to help Bristol Palin…as absurd as that sounds). A lot of these drunks riled up by Oakes would then trip me, push me, poke me, or get in my face about being a gay conservative. That went on for quite some time with Sidetrack’s management knowing about it but choosing never to stop Oakes. He still works at the bar and I imagine he’s still doing this sort of thing to any gay conservatives he identifies….though I have long since stopped giving Sidetrack my business.
The lesson here is that if you are openly gay and conservative that you will be bullied and harassed until you keep quiet and toe the line or until someone succeeds in pushing you away. The gay world revolves around the bar scene, with most networking taking place in spots like Sidetrack. If word gets out from a bartender like Oakes to start harassing you…you’d be amazed at how quickly drunks will gleefully comply (especially since they’ll be given free drinks if they do the bartender’s dirty work for them). The other side of this is that gay guys just have a weird love of jumping on a bandwagon to come after someone…which is the dynamic of the “Mean Girls” clique nature of gay life. When presented with a target and encouraged by one of the bars to have at someone, most gay guys will fall in line and bully that person. Partly for the fun of ganging up on someone…but also because they feel they are “helping the community” by bullying a designated “enemy”.
Conservative guys who want to live and work in Boystown fear having any trouble like this…hence their desire to stay under the radar. But, honestly, you quickly reach a point where these drunks and buffoons do everything they possibly can do to you and the Alinsky Methods no longer work (unless you let them). Once they have polarized you as a target, harassed you, alienated you from others, and subjected you to everything they can think of…you ultimately just get used to this and accept a new reality for yourself.
I tend to avoid places where I know there are employees who actively mean to do me harm…and I am always prepared to dial 911 and bring the police into a situation if it would even remotely seem like it’s going to get out of hand.
I really don’t care if these petty bullies call me “the enemy of the gay community” or “a traitor to the community”. They sure don’t make the “community” look like something I’d want to be part of, it it’s a “community” so revved up to hate others. I think it’s important to constantly call gays out on their bad behavior because maybe if more people did this then they’d have to dial down the hate and start dealing with other people of differing views on a rational plane.
2. QUESTION: If gays and lesbians are attracted to the same sex it seems to me that men would be attracted to what is most masculine and women would be attracted to what is most feminine. Why are so many gay men far from macho and lesbians close to androgynous? I have always wondered.
ANSWER: You actually hit on one of the big controversies of the “gay community”, because it is very much true that the guys who are put on the covers of magazines or who are pushed to be on reality tee-vee as representations of ideal gays and lesbians are the masculine men and the beautiful “lipstick lesbian” women. There is a definite PR effort in gay ranks to make gay guys seen in any sort of medium as masculine as possible…to counter the stereotype of gay guys being effeminate. Similarly, the “gay community” pushes for lesbians to be seen as feminine as possible…and not the “dykes on bikes” stereotype of the past.
Within the “community” itself, effeminate guys are not treated as well as masculine ones…and the ideal for a gay man is to look as “straight-passable” as possible. The funny thing is that a lot of these guys who are in the bodies of linebacker still have very effeminate voices or shriek when they see spiders…and they work hard to control that in public. Thus, they sort of never can be out of the closet completely regarding who they really are…since they may be out as gay but they are still pretending to be masculine when at their heart they are about as macho as Paul Lynde.
Lesbians are pretty much ignored by gay guys, which is a shame…especially because the lesbians who are the flannel-wearing, gym teaching, stereotype are actually some of the coolest and nicest people I’ve ever met. I am so blessed to have some really awesome lesbian friends who are older ladies who totally don’t fit the look of what’s “hip” or marketable in terms of lesbians…but they are just great friends and truly decent people (who were all Hillary voters in 2008 and who voted for Palin to be VP and then Romney in 2012…but who will come back for Hillary in 2016 if she indeed runs, just FYI).
I think it’s sad that gays are so hung up on appearance…but it goes back to what I’ve been saying all month in that gay men especially are extremely childish…and behave like little kids looking through the Sears catalog for the next toys they want. Just like on a school yard where little boys try to show off and bully one another for not having the coolest or newest gizmo, grown adult gay men bully each other over who has the hottest boyfriend or the most lucrative job or the largest, well, you can figure that one out.
It’s sad. But, if you approach the “gay community” always the way that you’d address middle-schoolers on the playground then you’ll better understand how the Gaystgapo works in general.
3. QUESTION: If there was an organization called “North American Man Little Girl Love Association” would it be tolerated? I don’t understand why gays and the left support pedophilia. It’s disgusting, and proof that they are on the wrong side.
ANSWER: You’re right: straight guys would never be allowed to get away with doing to little girls what gay guys into the daddy/son scene do to young men. But, there’s a big push in gay ranks to always claim that anything someone is into sexually is just fine and can’t be criticized.
What I think happens is that gay people as a group fear a “slippery slope”…where if one part of the “community” is criticized for a fetish they fear that criticism spreading to other areas. So, everyone looks the other way about everything.
Meaning: guys into the daddy/son stuff (or even into dressing up like little babies or toddlers and then having sex in those costumes) can’t be criticized, ever, because then people might start criticizing the guys who are into “pig play” (which is sex involving urine and feces and other bodily fluids)…and then next people might criticize guys into leather costumes, or superheroes, or exhibitionism, or dressing up as dogs and cats and chasing each other around in a park (which is a real thing, too).
So, I think it’s all about everyone in the gay community having something bizarre they all like to do individually…and everyone forming this tontine where they just instinctively agree never to shine the light of day on what anyone else is doing.
The Gaystapo leaders and the willing media facilitate all this…and instantly berate any critics of the “gay community” as homophobes. The game plan is always to kill the messengers, obliterate the critics, and to protect even the most bizarre and twisted fetish…lest a slippery slope be formed where other fetishes could be subjected to scrutiny as well.
An obsession with sex is a big part of gay life…which I think ties into the Peter Pan syndrome that most gay men have. This might be due to the fact that a lot of gay guys don’t come out until they are in college or older…and thus they get stuck in a permanent adolescence. Imagine little boys who are 11 or 12 and they are just discovering their bodies and learning about sex from playground gossip and they find it all mind-blowing and titillating…and they are so immature that they can think of nothing else but silly fantasies and dirty jokes they’ve heard form older siblings or caught on Cinemax while their parents were watching. Well, gay guys are a lot like that…and remain emotionally at the level of 12 year old boys for the rest of their lives. They never grow up and leave the immaturity behind…and so they always think it’s just the most fun thing ever to strip down to their underwear in public or to doll up in leather and chains and parade around. Just like little boys would do on the playground while playing superheroes or whatever.
I think gay guys approach sex like small children approach candy. Sex feels good the way candy tastes good, and both sets are gluttons for their respective vice. But, unlike the kids with a sweet tooth there is no equivalent of parents/dentists to tell gay guys to knock it off already, grow up, and stop overindulging in the things they like (but aren’t good for them in obsessive doses).
QUESTION FOR COMMENTS: What else about the gay community have you ever wondered about?
What else is on your mind today in general?
– Open Thread –
Zo rips the Democrats a new one. And he does not mince words. Love it!!
[ Click above to embiggen: what will be important for 2013 in the future? ]
Continuing our “Pride Month” of June look at the questions you have about the activities of the “gay community”, here are some more answers to queries submitted by email or in comment threads the last few days:
1. QUESTION: Question for you: why does the gay community insist transgendered (TG) people are included in the ‘community’ but then treat us like 3rd class citizens?
ANSWER: I bet most people reading this don’t know about the controversy, but people who are transgendered (either Male to Female or Female to Male) have long felt that they were abused and mistreated by the “gay community at large”; it seems that Male to Female TGs bear the brunt of this…and receive worse treatment than Female to Male TGs (which you almost never hear about in the media, but are more common than you would think). It’s true that the gay community at large treats these TG people very badly…and in fact a lot of gay guys bully them.
Why is that? It’s simple: the gay community by and large is incredibly immature. TG people are a small minority within a minority…and they are thus bullied by gay guys in particular. That propaganda you hear about rainbows and there being a place for everyone in “the community” is really nonsense, because if you really look at the gay scene it more closely resembles a kindergarten full of adults than anything else. And the rules of the playground are in full force.
The gay community is actually a pretty brutal and superficial place…which is ironic because these are people who are forever claiming “the straight world” is so brutal and judgmental of them…but then when they’re behind closed doors in a gay bar or somewhere else on gay turf, gay people turn on each other and are much crueler to others in “the community” than straight people are to anyone. I think the TG people get picked on and bullied so much because they are different, there aren’t a lot of them, and gay guys can get away with it. There seems to be some very primitive urge amongst gay guys that when they form a clique of “Mean Girls” they then get to do to other people what straight guys may have done to them when they were younger.
TGs present an easy target…ones that don’t usually fight back…and I think it just triggers the hyena-like primal urge in gay guys to make fun of someone and abuse her or him. A lot of TGs seem to transition later in life (though that may be changing)…and some were married and had kids before they came out and started dressing as women and moving towards full transition. These people are treated very cruelly by gay guys and are stared at…especially by the younger, most immature little twins who are just coming onto the scene and want to feel a part of the “cool crowd”…so they pick on the TGs.
Drag Queens are also treated really poorly by the gay community at large, which is actually pretty shocking since they are so visible and they’re one of the first things that straight people think of when they hear “gay community” or “Pride”. But on the street, if a drag queen is walking to a gig or just enjoying a night out in Boystown she will be heckled by other gays walking alongside her. Straight people won’t do this…it is gays being cruel and evil to drag queens. I think this has something to do with the fact that the ideal for gay men is to look and present as masculine as possible…and the ideal for women is to be a glamorous “lipstick lesbian”. Guys who are effeminate or who like to do drag are considered less-than their rough and tumble masculine gay counterparts…and lesbians who are not glamorous and who look like high school volleyball coaches or whatever are ignored as much as possible by the “Mean Girls” of the LGBTQAI “community”.
It’s all very playground behavior. The best way to understand the “gay community” is to remember what it was like to be in elementary school…only imagine guys in their 20s, 30s, and 40s carrying on like this…with tons of disposable income and limitless supplies of shiny toys…and this downright evil directed at anyone they perceive as weaker than them who can be bullied. Unicorns are typically used as symbols of the gay community since they go along with rainbows so well…but I think gay guys are mostly packs of hyenas who’ll prey on the weakest person in the room. While, of course, simultaneously claiming THEY are the ones picked on by Christians and conservatives.
2. QUESTION: What are your thoughts on the French pro-marriage movement? Is there any way that we can replicate its across-the-board appeal in the United States?
I don’t think there should be “gay marriage” because marriage is a religious sacrament that the state has no business being a part of; I’d like to see a coast to coast movement to remove “marriage” from the state’s vocabulary and replace it with civil-unions in a courthouses…and leave marriage inside churches and temples.
Regarding France, I am fascinated by the cultural changes there…because I can’t help wondering why this is happening when Islam is such a growing power in France. Surely the third world Muslim colonists that keep pouring into France will have an issue with “gay marriage” there…and so I wonder if this is happening in France now, while people realize they have only a short amount of time before Muslims are the majority in that country and would forbid something like this. Pushing for “gay marriage” in France might be a way for the French to declare to themselves that the Muslims are not in control yet, because otherwise we could not get away with doing something like this. That sort of thing.
3. QUESTION: What is the Achilles heel of the Gaystapo?
ANSWER: The “Gaystapo” is what I call the self-styled gay elite in any major city who serve the institutional Left as the organizers of the gay goon squads who are adroitly used by Democrats to achieve the Left’s goals. These are very wealthy gay men who are incredibly well-connected politically and who operate without any sort of criticism and are never challenged by the media on anything. Because they are gay, they do as they believe and often don’t obey laws that other businesses must follow. Additionally, they raise huge sums of money for Democrats and issues nonstop propaganda to gay people in their cities that paint conservatives, Christians, and Republicans as evil and “enemies” of the gay community.
I think the Gaystapo’s weakness is simple: start talking about them.
Do the job the media won’t do, and start taking an interest in the lies that are spread in gay magazines, newspapers, and via social media. Start pointing out the “Gaystapo” leaders in your community who take to stages to make hateful speeches that rev crowds up against Christians and conservatives. Here in Chicago, the key Gaystapo figure is a man named Art Johnston who owns Sidetrack the Video Bar…and he constantly is holding some event in the bar that degenerates into a two-minutes-hate against religious people and conservatives. It’s all deliberate and is what Johnston and others in the Gaystapo call “activism”. Really, it’s just spreading hate and creating colorful “enemies” for gays to lash out at…so that they will then donate to Johnston’s Equality Illinois organization, which is just another tool of the institutional Left that makes itself sound more appealing by calling itself “Equality Illinois”. A better name for the thing would be “We Spread Hate But Aren’t Called Out On It Because We Are Gay”. I guess “Equality Illinois” fit more easily on bumper stickers.
The Gaystapo hate sunlight and they shrink and wither when they’re actually talked about. The thing is, so many conservatives and Christians avoid talking about anything gay that these guys are then left to do whatever they please unchallenged. That’s such a mistake. Frankly, the only reason these guys have so much power is because it’s all been ceded to them by conservatives who just don’t want to be caught discussing the gay community at all (for fear of being called homophobes if they do).
I think the best way to bring the Gaystapo down is to start holding them to their own rules…which ironically enough is one of the Alinsky Methods that the Gaystapo uses on conservatives all the time. Equality Illinois, for instance, claims it is for equality in Illinois for everyone. So, why do almost all Equality Illinois events held in Sidetrack the Video Bar include speeches and other stunts that rev the crowds up to shout hateful things about Christians and conservatives? Why does any Equality Illinois event include screaming and yelling about “getting” the “enemies of the gay community”? Shouldn’t an organization with such a lovey-dovey sounding name avoid hating anyone or labeling anyone on Earth “an enemy”?
Hypocrisy, I guess, is ultimately the Gaystapo’s Achilles’ heel.
4. QUESTION: What are your thoughts on NAMBLA supporters? Why are there LGBT who support them? I know there are heterosexual pedophiles who do, too, but I am curious about the rationale behind support in the gay community.
ANSWER: NAMBLA stands for the “North American Man Boy Love Association”. You don’t really hear much about these people now, but they were pretty active in the 90s and early 2000s and in all the days before the Internet. My guess is that in 2013 they mainly operate and recruit via message boards and secret forums online…but I remember being a kid in Cleveland in the 80s and 90s and seeing NAMBLA flyers stapled to telephone poles or taped to street lamps all over time: bright, pink flyers that usually showed some older man with a young kid, like it was a kind of Big Brothers organization. Before the Internet it was hard to figure out that these were pedophiles on recruiting campaigns.
I think the “gay community” does the world a very bad service by not taking a zero tolerance approach to things like NAMBLA because there remains the Daddy/Son fetish amongst some gay guys, where older men want to be with very young guys. A lot of these guys were molested when they were young…and when they get older they want to inflict this onto little boys to continue the cycle of abuse. Muslim men are actually really big into this because Islam encourages the abuse of young boys…and when those boys grow up they expect to be able to abuse boys sexually, too, since that’s what they did when they were little. It’s just beyond sick.
The Gaystapo prevents anyone from calling people out for horrific behavior, though. When it comes to sex, anything is supposed to be permissible in gay culture. The Gaystapo certainly gives the impression that “anything goes”…especially in bars that have “secret” rooms or private “play party” nights where admission is charged and things aren’t open to the public. Most of the leather bars in Chicago have these sorts of events…and a lot of times you have to know someone who is a member of that fetish club to get into the event.
It’s all sick. And the people involved in this are seriously messed up. These are the crazy uncles in the attic of the gay community…but unfortunately a lot of them seem to be very rich and influential because the Gaystapo lets them do as they please. i don’t know if you watch the tee-vee show “True Blood” on HBO, but last season the plot revolved around “The Vampire Authority” that was trying to mainstream and present a more normalized face for vampires to the world…and they were opposed by the Sanguinista faction of vampires, which wanted to be deviant and feed openly on humans and generally do all the things that people were scared vampires really liked to do.
In the gay community, you mostly see the mainstreamers…but you must know that the true deviants like the NAMBLA crowd still exist and no effort at all is made to stamp these guys out. They’re just kept in the basement or in the shadows, and the Gaystapo runs interference or creates distractions so you don’t think about what’s going on. There are secret fetish and sex clubs in Chicago like “The Hell Fire Club” or “Windy City Watersports” or whatever where all sorts of bizarre things go on…and bars like Jackhammer, Touche, and Cell Block have those secret rooms where different “clubs” hold their private events and get up to all sorts of things that would probably make your eyes melt out of your face if you read about them.
That’s all part of the “dark side of the rainbow” that no one’s supposed to talk about during “pride month” in June.
5. QUESTION: Why are gay groups encouraging young kids to engage in sex? All you have to do is google “Kevin Jennings” and “fisting” to see what I mean.
ANSWER: This is a lot bigger, actually, than just gay groups encouraging the sexualization of childhood. This is really a bigger strategy of the institutional Left. It’s really just a big strategy to break parents’ holds over children and accelerate the rebellion that leads kids into the arms of the Left. If the young kids start having sex and stop listening to their parents, then the kids are more vulnerable to the indoctrination that’s happening in the classrooms by teachers who are recruiting children into the ranks of Leftism.
It’s all very well-thought out and strategically planned. They’ve been working on this for decades, since the Frankfurt School movement. Here in 2013, these people are at their zenith of power because so few Americans pay any attention to what’s happening in our public school system and people without children don’t think it’s their place to get involved with School Boards or whatever…even though YOUR tax dollars are funding all of this deviance.
I think there are other reasons the institutional Left wants children sexualized as early as possible: this will lead to teen pregnancies, which the Left loves because it creates more people dependent on government for welfare…and Democrats see those people as loyal voters; kids having sex also probably spreads diseases like HIV or other STDs…and infecting people young cripples their lives and makes them dependent on the government for medications and welfare, which Democrats also love.
I get sick to my stomach thinking about the evil things that Democrats do to hold power in this country. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in that movie They Live!, where Rowdy Roddy Piper and some other people realized that evil space aliens were walking amongst us and could be spotted with special sunglasses that saw through their disguises. Every time you vote Democrat, you are agreeing to control by the human equivalent of those space aliens…because what the Left wants to do to our country and the American people is just sick and disgusting.
They really are using children in public school as pawns in their plans…and if you aren’t aware of this already, then I hope today begins your own process of investigating all of this and speaking out against it.
QUESTION FOR COMMENTS: what else do you wonder about regarding the gay community or how the institutional Left uses gays as weapons in our Culture Wars?
What else is on your mind today, this Wednesday June 5th 2013?