May You Live Always In Interesting Times – By Sebastian Gray, for Gray Matters
Dear HillBuzz,
Yesterday, my good friend Jessie took the LSAT, after cramming and kvetching and absolutely driving herself crazy studying day and night for the last several months (“The outside world doesn’t even exist right now, and won’t exist again until after June 8th and this test is over”). For the last ten years or so, Jessie’s had her own design label, making couture dresses here in Chicago, running her shop out of her apartment not far from us in Boystown (a beaded, bedazzled, and fabric-strewn Project Runway in exile if ever we’ve laid eyes upon one…Tim Gunn eat his heart out). But, like many small businesses in the last few years, Jessie saw the embroidery on the taffeta after two disappointing years of lackluster profits and knows her business will go under soon (“Honey, when I can’t even sell at huge discounts to drag queens delivering Pie Hole on Tuesday nights, at a time when the First Lady of the United States is in bad Jason Wu drag most of the time, I know I’m one commercial break from an economic Auf Wiedersehn”). Several months ago, Jessie had to lay off her assistant and intern…and soon she’ll have to vote herself off fashion’s sinking island as well.
Hope! Change! How’s that unicorn working out for you, too?
On Election Night last year, I’ll never forget sitting next to Jessie at the Chicago Young Republicans’ event at the Hilton Towers, watching the Kool-Aid Gang carrying on across the street in Grant Park for Dr. Utopia’s victory celebration (all huddled together bleary-eyed, staring blankly into the bright lights, like they were waiting for Gozer the Gozerian to appear on stage as the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man to devour all their souls and open the ancient Sumerian portal to Hell, instead awaiting Dr. Utopia’s victory speech in his most resplendent Quinn the Eskimo mode). Jessie, in a moment of pained clarity, just said, “Well, that’s it for my business. Because if the economy didn’t kill it already, this man and his Alinsky recipe for socialism damn will.” We had all the windows open and could hear the crowd below roaring and screaming, with the network reporters on all the channels positively giddy about the ushering in of The Golden Age of Hope and Change. Jessie stared straight ahead and shed a few tears knowing full well what was ahead for all of us.
There I was, a Democrat, with a few of us from HillBuzz and Team Hillary joining our new Republican friends, knowing full well we did everything we could to stop the disaster we knew was coming under Dr. Utopia — but realizing we weren’t strong enough to effectively counter all the Kool-Aid drunk, screaming fools below.
Jessie decided that, since she’s not going to make it running her small business anymore, she should go to law school — as people for years have said to her, quite correctly, “And you didn’t go to law school, WHY?“. I talk about the women who I admire most in this world, and Hillary Clinton always comes out at the very top, for waking up each morning and putting her whole heart and soul into everything she does, win, lose, or draw. If I live to be a hundred, I will never forget the fire and determination Clinton showed on the campaign trail, particularly that night outside Pittsburgh when she belted out her very best campaign speech in the driving rain, defiant and empowered and full of fight. Well, that pretty much sums up Jessie any day of the week — whether she’s fighting to keep her business afloat, fighting to rally her friends in the CYRs to volunteer for the USO or the Special Olympics, trying her damndest to squeeze a Gold Coast debutante into hand-stitched couture evening wear, or whether she’s working hard to retrain herself to survive in the depression that’s coming (if it’s not already here already).
And I’m not talking about the kind that can be treated with paxil, zoloft, or endlessly repeating viewings of Josie and the Pussycats…I’m talking a second Great Depression that’s on its way to wipe out the last remnants of the gilded age we all took for granted the last few years.
I knew Jessie would be wiped out from taking the LSAT, so I wanted to surprise her with a small get-together of some of her friends from both sides of the aisle: CYRs, HillBuzzers, and friendly faces in general. Because I, too, am struggling to stay afloat in this economy, I’m spread really thin these days, taking a half dozen low-paying small projects all around town to make up for the two or three large gigs I’d typically have as a freelance project manager over the course of a year. Normally, I’d have the flexibility to manage my projects and still have time to squeeze in planning a fabulous fete for someone as special as Jessie, but this time I needed help, and I’m proud to say McCain/Palin once again taught me something about myself and what we all need to do to get along and stay afloat together.
A month or so ago, I had a serious falling out with a few people who backstabbed me pretty shamelessly, without so much as an apology (that I am still waiting for). My typical response to something like this is to just never speak to those people again, and to carry around that grudge forever (just like they’re a Kennedy, or an Edwards, or a Richardson, or a McCaskill). That’s more of the old me, the guy who also would never have been friends with a Republican, let alone planned a surprise party for one. But, the universe brought me the wrong French toast in 2008: in the general election, I worked hard alongside Republicans for the first time in my life and now count many Chicago Young Republicans, in particular, as good friends. I saw that when we’re all in a boat that’s sinking, it’s no time to hang onto grudges of the past, but instead it’s time to band together and set things right (and then, in 2012, hopefully elect a president who knows her way around an iceberg and how to get us out of this mess, you betcha).
So, I reached out to one of the people who backstabbed me, a guy named Warren who happens to be a very good friend of Jessie’s. I still don’t like Warren, and in fact, to be perfectly honest, I never much liked Warren and his too-old-to-be-kegging-frat-boy ilk to begin with. But, I knew Warren also wanted to see Jessie have a big celebration after all the hard work she put in — so I decided to put aside the issue I had with him (he stole a job that was promised to me, one that I had been laying the groundwork for, and then had the audacity to actually ask me how to do the job, since he didn’t have the slightest clue where to start) in the interest of the bigger picture.
I just didn’t have time to pull off the surprise without his help, and I knew damn well Jessie would NEVER in a million years think I was conspiring with Warren to plan anything, let alone a big surprise for her.
I can continue to dislike Warren, and his tendency to, when he’s not stealing jobs that should have been mine, get so drunk at parties and other events that he’s lucky someone doesn’t strip him down, stuff him into an always-at-the-ready bunny costume, and leave him passed out somewhere in Boystown, gift-wrapped for whatever Elmer Fudd should find him. Not that I have ever planned what I would do should that sort of opportunity ever arise, or anything.
But, celebrating Jessie was more important than whatever I had against Warren (and if you need help planning a party, a big drunk is a great place to start).
Just as America remains more important than most of what we as Democrats, Republicans, and Independents may have against one another politically…we need to put aside those old grudges for now, and continue to work together.
At Jessie’s party, there was a good mix of us from HillBuzz and Jessie’s fellow Republicans, all enjoying a giant table in Ping Pong eating General’s Chicken, Kung Pao Beef, and other delicious family-style Chinese dishes in the heart of Boystown, one big happy cohesive group feting one of our own for working so hard to set a new course for herself in life. Outside the windows, most of Boystown passed by in its usual whirl, oblivious to the presence of Republicans amongst them, or economic reality all around us all. No matter what else we can say about Election 2008 and its results, I still maintain the REAL Change! that happened last year was this bond that exists now between people who would have never, ever been friends or shared anything in common if not for our opposition to Dr. Utopia and his socialist agenda.
Those connections, unfortunately, continue to deepen as almost all of us now find ourselves in the same boat of either underemployment or unemployment itself. A year ago, this party for Jessie would have been held at a big steakhouse, with wine flowing freely and no expenses spared, but times are tough so it was a more restrained evening in a BYOB Chinese restaurant: we still had all the fun we would have had at three times the price, but what a difference a year does make. People with Master’s Degrees from top-ten schools have not been abe to find work in half a year. One friend got fired yesterday, in fact, and was told by her employer that she “might have Swine Flu, because she’s coughing and sniffling too much”; the employer, a wealthy woman in Wicker Park, apparently decided she could do without a decorator by instead finishing her re-do by herself, with Swine Flu a convenient MSM-supplied budget cutting and face-saving excuse (and you KNOW the economy’s in the tank when people use Swine Flu as your reason for termination).
Before the chocolate-dipped fortune cookies arrived at the end of the meal (served up on green and red ping-pong paddles in homage to the Boystown eatery’s name), I learned that all but four people at the table had canceled their cable, negotiated their cell phone bills down to almost nothing, and cut just about every extra special treat out of their lives. The women were almost all dying their own hair instead of dropping that money in salons; the men weren’t going out anymore, and were instead doing a lot of fishing for free on Lake Michigan and playing plenty of volleyball in the park instead of going to movies or taking any trips. Everyone’s rediscovering the bounty available in the public library, neglecting Borders or Amazon in favor of entertainment of the free variety. Those who own fabulous apartments with killer views have acquired, or are actively seeking, roommates to rent out what used to be an office or a workout room or a den; those of us who rent are counting the days until leases are up so they can downsize into something much, much more affordable with tomorrow so uncertain.
I shudder to imagine how bad things are in other circles if some of the best and the brightest in Chicago, some of the most successful and accomplished people I know, are all economizing this much, and are all having so much trouble finding jobs. My good friend Janelle just took a job paying about $25,000 less than she’s made in the last 15 years — and it’s an entry-level position about 3 levels below where she “should” be working at, because 300-400 people, at least, seem to be applying for every position out there. People overqualified for the job by miles applied to all the jobs Janelle would have normally taken, pushing her down the ladder to take an entry level slot people right out of college would have taken just two years ago (which means, recent college grads, welcome to McDonalds). ”It’s like I’m starting all over again at the bottom,” Janelle said, before reading the tiny strip of paper stuffed into her fortune cookie. ”May you live always in interesting times…”
“IN BED!” , everyone shouted.
I kept it to myself that this particular fortune is actually a head game played by the companies in New York City that produce most of the fortune cookies in America, because in China this doesn’t mean what Americans think it means at all: ”interesting times” is a relative term, not necessarily meaning “good times”, and having nothing whatsoever to do with any setup for fellow dinners to double-entendre by exclamation.
The Golden Age of Hope and Change certainly has been interesting these last six months.
But can any of us say it’s been good?
I would never wish interesting times like this on anyone, in or out of the bedroom. Not even on Warren, and I seriously want to stuff him into that bunny suit and leave his sorry ass on Halsted at last call.
But then I cracked open my own fortune and Fate smiled, because apparently I “will always be surrounded by true friends, even when (I) think (I) am not…”
“IN BED!”, came the shout again.
And that’s certainly something powerful to hang onto as each day all of us face one surprise after another as Dr. Utopia lurches this country closer towards socialism, and continues to destroy so much of what all of us have worked so hard for all of our lives. Unfortunately, the daily surprises are not the good kind, like walking into a room full of friends and plates of sweet and sour deliciousness after taking a grueling exam all day…but ultimately I hope we all collectively draw my favorite fortune from last night, or any night at all:
“This too shall pass…”
IN BED!
And hopefully everywhere else, in times far, far less interesting.
Sebastian Gray,
Chicago IL
© 2009, HillBuzz. All rights reserved.
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I love your stories, Sebastian.
And stories like this should remind us that what Dr. Utopia/Obamessiah is doing affects us all.
“In Bed!”
Thanks for making me smile! You have a gift…keep writing!
Michelle
Truth be told, your stories stun me into silence, which is not only a rare occurrence for me but also the place where I find my answers.
Thank you!
It will be back to the steak house in no time once you get that book finished. But I bet you won’t even like it so much anymore. I think interesting times like these change people forever. Just think of all the older people who were alive in the ’30′s. They save ball of string and tin-foil. Maybe our version of that will be BYOB Chinese restaurants.
Can’t beat the General’s Chicken or the Orange Chicken at Ping Pong in Boystown. AND, sometimes they have bearded Asian transvestite waitresses too.
Is jessie still making clothes or is she completely out of business?
I still think you guys need to do a website, not just a blog where you can actually make some bucks! FlaMom offered to help, and I have a couple of Chicago connections for you too. You might be surprised at how much you can make with ads and links.
I love your stories too, Sebastian.
These are hard times for many people, but I think there’s a silver lining. People are rediscovering what’s important in life, friends, family, LOL, and even libraries and parks! During the 80′s and 90′s I saw a lot of people loose sight of what was really important. We got kind of obsessed over knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing.
The Golden Age of Hope and Change certainly has been interesting these last six months.
Now you know why sometimes I think boring is quite OK.
I use “interesting” at work to mean hey, the computer shouldn’t be doing that! Again, boring == good.
What a great story!
Although I can certainly eat up the rancor that I routinely see in some of the conservative blogs I visit, I am touched by the remarkable lack of acrimony in this account. This was just a moment to put our political differences aside and realize that we are all suffering during these times, and that instead of always pointing fingers and being bitter about our misfortunes, just commiserate.
As always a well written, and fun read. As someone who has much experience on both sides of grudges I was particularly interested in that bit. I’m very glad to see that the current “hard times” have allowed you to look past some of your long time grudges – especially since you stated that you hold grudges forever. Forgiveness, whether in hard times or bad, is something we all deserve because we all need some too. Forgiveness is powerful juju whichever end of it you’re on, and even though it took tough times and love for a third party to get there in this instance I’m heartened to see you’re walking down that road.
Cheers