Jealous of the baby Jesus, current president demands "Obamamas Special" for holidays
Jealous of all the attention some nobody named “Jesus” (“Isn’t that the gardener’s name, Michelle?”) is getting as December draws near, our illustrious (and modest) current president has demanded a primetime special to entertain and amuse himself, so he can watch himself on TV some more (“Because I just love being on TV, even more than I love carrying around magazines with my picture on the front of them, or using toilet paper that has my big, grinning idiot face on it. I need to be everywhere, at all times, or in my soul I am nowhere.”).
The “Obamamas Special” is intended to give his devote followers a chance to celebrate, in their view, the “real reason for the season: Obama”.
Oprah, the Charybdis of Lake Michigan, will be producing the special, while eating various parts of ungulates throughout. When reached for comment, The Beast Who Must Be Fed said, “Nom, nom, nom…(indecipherable mastication sounds)…nom, nom, nom (swallow)…He’s “The One”…we must all praise Him…screw the baby Jesus.”
“Obamamas” will be celebrated on December 13th every year from now on. On this day, undeserving black people will be given historic and monumental gifts, such as Nobel Prizes, without lifting a finger or doing a damn thing to earn them.
“I wish every day was Obamamas,” Al Sharpton commented.
“Yah, what he said, brother,” Jesse Jackson concurred.
“RAAAACISM! RAAAACISM! RAAAACISM! WAAAAAH!,” screeched Henry Gates, rolling on the floor, fudging his diapers.
“Yo, someone better change Gates’ diapety-diddity-yo,” Snoop Dogg noted.
Oprah’s very special close friend, Gayle Kind, stopped leaving the lavish, no-expenses-spared-in-this-time-of-hardship-and-recession state dinner, had this to say: “Well, Christmas is so last century. This is the age of Hope and Change. Anyone who doesn’t support and celebrate Obamamas is a damn dirty RAAACIST. Even though we’re wealthier than either of us deserves to be, Oprah and I need presents on Obamamas too. Gimme, gimme, gimme.”
Upon declaring Obamamas, the Norwegians immediately created a new Nobel Prize, for Audacity, and instantly awarded it to the current president.
From this year forward, every year on December 13th the current president will receive another Nobel Prize for Audacity, as the Norwegians anticipate he has the potential to be more audacious each year than the year before, in perpetuity.
“We anticipate he will be most audacious in the year 2172, after that, even a demigod such as Obama will segue into retirement of some sort, and possibly will at that point become a constellation. At that point, we will start awarding the prize to various things he touched in his lifetime. His comb. His toothbrush. His slippers. His toilet. The more intimate the item, the more audacious it is by proximity to “The One”, and thus the greater relic to revere each Obamamas”.
School children nationwide, already practicing songs honoring and pledging eternal devotion to the current president, have been ordered to step up their efforts, with just three weeks or so to prep for the inaugural Obamamas festivities.
Oprah has pledged to do her part in getting those children in shape: “I’m telling them that if anyone doesn’t sing very well, they’re going to be sent to that school I set up in Africa where people are beaten and raped and I pretend I have no idea what’s going on. Heh, heh, heh. And the ones who are really pitchy get to live inside my belly. THAT’S what happened to Stedman. Or, should I say, DEADman. Heh, heh, heh”.
Happy Obamamas to The One and all!
© 2009, HillBuzz. All rights reserved.
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This just jumped up to reason number 1 why I no longer watch broadcast TV. Eee-Gads, what a gagfest!
Wanna bet it has amazingly low ratings?
Philly Eagles and NY Giants will be their competition…..lol. That’s gonna suck at their Nielsens.
Sunday Night football usually finishes high, and a Philiadelphia v. New York game will guarantee it
Isn’t it competing with the NY-Eagles game or some such?
Interesting to see the ratings the next day.
I guess Okra really wants to go out with the lowest ratings she can possibly garner.
BTW… the marxist-in-chief’s picture on this post, tell me, would that instill any fear in anyone? (NO!!!!!!!!!!!)
(except maybe the clowns at the circus, as he is giving them some very good competition)
MoDo saying something not so nice about Barry?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/25/opinion/25dowd.html?_r=1
LOL! She’s missing Clinton? Clinton was warm baths and Obama is just a cold shower?? Bahahaha!
This is like number two in less than a week when MD said not so nice things about Dr. U. Even with that mild snark about ‘Well, it is Fox news’ she supported that Palin and DU were almost equal in popularity.
LOL! I think even she is weary of her idol.
Modo is losing her Mojo.
Caught that NYT article just as I was catching my breath about the bitch fight between Big Dawg and Olbermann.
Best bitch-slap evah! came from across the pond…
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/defence/6646179/Bob-Ainsworth-criticises-Barack-Obama-over-Afghanistan.html
Searing Anthony. I wonder if the thin skinned population in the WH will think about it?
Should Obamamas be like Festivus…but without the snazzy pole and fisticuffs?
Hang blank voter registration cards on our mantles; a decorative arrangement of argula leaves and a few ACORNs should put us all in the mood for the happy day.
I am going to make sure I get my Obamamas shopping done early (tire gauges? red and blue pills? boob belts?)…so I have plenty of time to stir up batches and batches of KoolAid.
MQ-C
Oh Good Lord. The Narcissism just never ends, does it? Maybe they’ll be competing with a re-run of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”. I know I’d rather watch the cartoon than those clowns.
Who’s narcissism? Oprah or Dr. U? I think there’s quite a competition there for who loves themselves the most.
How bizarre. Nothing like watching TUCC graduates putting on a “Get Whitey” Christmas celebration. After marinating in Rev. Wright’s weekly hate-fests this should be a real turn off.
Go for it, Obies! I’ve got a bet that you will be polling around 30% after the holidays. This can only help. lololol
Needless to day, I won’t watch this travesty.
There used to be a White House Christmas special on HGTV every year, to show the decorations and how they were done. Laura Bush would take everyone on a tour and talk about how hard the staff and volunteers worked. Then President Bush would come in at the very end (for about 5 minutes) and tell everyone hello, and isn’t Laura a FABULOUS first lady? Plus Barney would appear. The End.
Those of us who have always been Bush fans knew that in order to see the White House Christmas decor we would have to go to HGTV, because God forbid a network show anything the Bush family did (even Christmas trees) in a positive light.
Now that Obama is president, I see ABC is going to take over so that the masses are more likely to see this. I bet the dog isn’t even shown, and probably we will not see the girls, either, as all three are cuter than their parents and would steal some of his air time.
Not. Watching. It.
Tsk, tsk, Boys…oh so very deliciously wicked…This 55 yr. old Conservative ( from the South ) hearts you BIG TIME..MMM MMM MMM….Happy Thanksgiving !
What a great perspective! I am rolling on the floor over here, teers streaming down my cheeks from the laughter!
Seriously, it will be instructive to see the ratings on this. The way this clown is insinuating himself into our daily media fare (constant addresses, press conferences, roadblocked Sunday morning news shows, etc.) our lives are becoming more and more reminiscent of 1984, the movie.
Please. Just. Go. Away.
(Obama, not you guys! Happy Thanksgiving!)
I was thinking Fahrenheit 451…
Or more reminiscent of 1934 Germany!
Laughing myself silly at your wonderful satire. Will She reprise her State Dinner hand-cut sterling silver sequined wonder for the peasants to see, or will she go little girly again in the bouffant gold with the peek-a-boo crinoline that she wore so inappropriately in Copenhagen?
Don’t agree with you on HRC, boys, but awfully glad you are here to brighten our conservative days. Right now HRC is looking darned good by comparison.
Oprah & Obama Christmas Special? Only thing missing is the Osmonds, they should think about adding them….3 Os and the Osmonds at least know how to put on a Christmas Special.
I’d Rather be Having a Root Canal Than Watch “Christmas at the White House: An Oprah Primetime Special”
I heard the news and a few hours later I had the video done. Will there be a Letterman Top 10 things I’d rather be doing than watch Oprah/Obama?
What will MO wear? Something sleeveless? Will the Dems continue to assault us with her biceps?
Probably. I’m beginning to think that’s all the ammo they have to terrorize us short of shooting us. Well, there are those thighs……
( This could get really, really ugly if we continue to resist and the polls continue to plummet.
I used to watch Oprah now and then. Until the day I saw her hitting a spiritual note. Twilight Zone for me, and have not watched for 15 20 years. So won’t watch OO Obamamas (just love that holiday name), but will be looking to see if the OO Christmas special has anything, and I do mean ANYTHING Christian in it. Last year I read in a Brit online article that the family exchanges ‘seasonal’ gifts.
Let’s all make that a national night out to holiday shop and do our part to help the economy (or window shop or sit at Starbuck’s with a pal or go to a movie deserving of our support or go to a nursing home and serve dinner or sing or to go to a church or synagogue or other place of good will and wrap gifts for those in need or back and pack goodies for our soldiers or start on our baking for the holidays or make some homemade gifts for those we love). Anything that does NOT INVOLVE turning on Oprah even for background noise.
Let’s aim for WORST. RATINGS. EVER. for a holiday special.
The show corresponds with Utopia’s need for more adoration. This man is so full of himself and he’s over-exposed. I’m already at the maximum tolerance for his exposure, and this will really gag me.
Hey, Bill, I hear as a very special “holiday” treat for Oprah, that Obama will climb the Xmas tree and sit on top as the shiny star topper!
Noooo! That’s my Anniversary date!
Wait a minute; didn’t this same lame dodo of a prez say they don’t celebrate Christmas at his house? I’m sure I recall something like that; maybe they don’t give gifts or whatever. At any rate, the traditional news outlets have already written rave reviews of the show so why would anyone bother watching it? The only question is, how explicit will Barry be when he’s comparing himself to Christ?
Regards
Barry, get off the cross!
We need the wood for the unemployed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And his shit eating grin..he needs to close his mouth. His teeth are humongous an ugly.
Ogee, I saw Okra described somewhere (I think on a tv show) has having come out?
Is that true? Has anyone else seen reports of Okra having come out?
I don’t think it is true.
come on guys. Please unban me. I voted for Hillary. I even bought the latest issue of her on TIME magazine. I’m a disenfranchised Dem. I’m voting for Palin. What’s up.
I won’t be watching it.
I’m surprised Obama is still allowing Christmas to be celebrated at all; I mean, wouldn’t the WORLD think poorly of us if we acknowledge a holiday that’s so…politically incorrect.
“OUCH!”
That’s the only thing I could think off!
Excellent writing!
Person 1: Hey Happy Obamamas!
Person 2: Happy Obamamas to you too!
Person 1: So what did you get for Obamamas this year?
Person 2: Some rookie government employee stole my credit card and ran up charges that my children won’t be able to pay back.
Person 1: Wow, that sucks. All I got was being put on the homeland security terror watch list!
Hey-ooo. I’ll be here all week, try the fish
Did anyone see the trailer for the absurd movie “The Morgans” or something with Sarah Jessica Parker–she makes a shitty remark about Sarah Palin. Anyone else besides boycotting those who denigrate Sarah and Hillary?
Oprah, the Charybdis of Lake-Obamamas watching that boring mess would be a total waste of time and electricity. Hopefully they will all exit stage left soon.
i’m rootin for low ratings on this “spectacle”! dont know a soul who would watch it!
Wow, that gal is losing her touch. Isn’t he considered a pretty crappy President now? Aren’t people starting to keep their distance from this clown? I guess she’s gotten too insulated from reality. No one s going to watch this. Has Saturday Night Live parodied Obama bowing to everyone yet? I can’t wait for that to start happening, it’s going to be hilarious.