It’s official! Oprah Winfrey banned from ever becoming a Marine. Stedman Graham still clings to dream of being “Maureen”, however.
Word came down today that a new bureaucratic policy officially prohibits Oprah Winfrey from ever being a United States Marine.
Oprah, hard at work driving viewers away in droves from her OWN (Oprah’s Weird Noises) network, apparently was agast at the new regulations.
“Too many chili days at Harpo Studios, too much demon in me,” the former talk show host and proprietress of a cable station watched primarily by household animals reportedly said.
© 2011, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.
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Could she come by and save the day along the east coast by farting a counter-wind that could equalize the barometric pressure? Maybe, but that will require more food, so people, chip in and donate those canned beans. Burritos, tacos, chilis, pizza, whatever you've got! They will be put to great use to save this nation.
Needed that visual like I need a hole in the head. However I did have a need for a moment of joy. Not nice, but sometimes you just need to laugh out loud.
Sometime we need to laugh out loud for our own sanity!! I would like to refer you and other readers to the following article, and my warning for Ms. Winfrey is to be sure to never visit this country lest she could be arrested: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351174/A…
Deer lord, what have the people along the middle Atlantic seaboard done to you to deserve such a terrible thing? isn't a major hurricane bad enough?