It’s official! Oprah Winfrey banned from ever becoming a Marine. Stedman Graham still clings to dream of being “Maureen”, however.
Word came down today that a new bureaucratic policy officially prohibits Oprah Winfrey from ever being a United States Marine.
Oprah, hard at work driving viewers away in droves from her OWN (Oprah’s Weird Noises) network, apparently was agast at the new regulations.
“Too many chili days at Harpo Studios, too much demon in me,” the former talk show host and proprietress of a cable station watched primarily by household animals reportedly said.
© 2011, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.
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