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Great Merciful Zeus: If you are reading this anywhere near the Eastern seaboard, PLEASE take Hurricane Irene seriously, get off the computer, and BE SAFE

Posted on August 25, 2011 by Kevin DuJan // Featured Content, Great Merciful Zeus, Hillbuzz

The navy is moving all ships out of Norfolk, Virginia.

Which they don’t do unless something terrible is on the way.

If you are anywhere on the Eastern seaboard, TAKE HURRICANE IRENE seriously.

Do not laugh this off.  Get the heck as far away from the hurricane’s path as possible.

Do not be like the people of New Orleans and joke about having been through hurricanes before.

I have a good friend whose whole family almost died in the 90s when a hurricane came through Hilton Head.  Her father thought it was all a big joke, and he didn’t evacuate them. Instead, he drank beer and, you guessed it, homemade “hurricanes” and screwed around in the garage, having a great time, tilting into the wind declaring himself “King of all Hurricanes” while the family dog cowered under his workbench thinking, no doubt, “this damn fool has done lost his sorry mind”.  Marshals of some kind came to the neighborhood to make sure it was evacuated, and found this fool outside, clowning around, trying to fly like Superman.  The cops took water-proof toe tags, like you find at the morgue, and started filling them out for the family members to secure to themselves…because if they insisted on staying, the authorities would need a way to identify their foolish, drowned bodies.  If they ever washed up somewhere in a few weeks.

They piled dad in a truck, threw all the family photos and as much clothing as they could grab in another car, and hit the road JUST AN HOUR OR SO BEFORE ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.

Please take Hurricane Irene uncharacteristically seriously.

The media uses weather as porn most of the time, titillating people with tales of “the storm of the century!” so people underestimate these things.  I will tell you, that Justin and I didn’t think it really was going to snow that much here in Chicago this past winter, because this stuff is always blown out of proportion…but then SNOWMAGEDDON hit, and we were stunned how bad it really was.

PLEASE DO NOT BE STUNNED OR SURPRISED BY HURRICANE IRENE.

You are too valuable to the Resistance to lose, and your family is too precious to risk.

© 2011, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.

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Kevin DuJan

Kevin DuJan is the author of SHUT UP! The Bizarre War that One Public Library Waged Against the First Amendment. He is a gay, Catholic, conservative, Republican who advocates for government transparency, Freedom of Information, Open Meetings, and First Amendment rights. He lives in Chicago with his boyfriend Justin.

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