Dear Attack Watch, Please refute our insistence that Obama got all Ds and Fs in college…by releasing his transcripts to prove us wrong. Thank you.
Dear Attack Watch,
I am reporting myself and all of my friends here at HillBuzz.org, and in fact almost everyone I know, down to various neighborhood small animals, because all of us firmly believe Barack Obama received all Ds and Fs in college (with — possibly — an A in Islamic Studies somewhere along the way).
Attack Watch needs to take immediate action and refute our assessment by releasing Obama’s college and law school transcripts, which have thus far been mysteriously encased in carbonite and buried deep under ground in a secure and undisclosed location.
Clearly, Attack Watch, you see the public’s dilemma here: if Obama really didn’t get all Ds and Fs in college, as I believe he earned, then why not just release the transcripts and show everyone how wonderfully he did in school?
If you’re afraid of making everyone jealous with this proof that Obama is so very, very smart, I think the public can handle it. The jealousy will wear off in a day or two, I think, and the public will then be so inspired by Obama’s academic achievements that lines at public libraries will be longer than those at the unemployment offices during the Obama presidency.
Maybe it’s not his bad grades (all Ds and Fs, I’m pretty sure) that Obama’s been hiding all of these years. Perhaps his transcripts are vaulted-up somewhere because Obama’s been using different names and passports throughout his life, whenever his Indonesian passport (and adopted name of Soetoro Soebakh) would have gained him more financial aid or scholarships — or even admission, period — to various institutions like Occidental College, Columbia, or Harvard Law School.
Could that be why his transcripts are so diligently hidden? Because the names he used at these three schools would not matchup?
Attack Watch, you are like Sarah Michelle Geller walking into a casting office and assuming the role of Buffy from Kristy Swanson in the mid-90s: a fresh and inspiring surprise setting forth on an epic quest of righteousness.
I’m confident everyone like me who believes Obama scored all Ds and Fs in college will be relieved to finally know the truth once you’ve produced Obama’s complete and un-redacted transcripts for public viewing — as it’s implied you will do in your neverending quest to dispatch all “misperceptions” about the deliberately mysterious man Oprah dubbed “The One” and in whose services you now labor.
Can’t wait to see the transcripts to know how wrong I really am about Obama!
Kevin DuJan
Founder and Editor, HillBuzz.org
© 2011, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.
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Brilliance On Stilts!! Thanks, Kevin!
#AttackWatch – Kim Kardashian's Wedding Cake http://themorningspew.com/2011/09/15/kim-kardashi…
Ooooh, I just love the snark. Ha Ha!
I am starting to really like ATACK WAAAAAAAATCH
I agree with Wendy. This is exactly what attack watch needs to do. I can easily dismiss the notion that releasing his grades would inspire jealousy. If that were truly a consideration, would he have done all those rounds of golf? Would he have taken all of those vacations and shoved it in our faces as we are gnawed by the fact that we can't get work?
There is nothing this administration would not do to tout anything perceived as "brilliance" by this man. If he had truly achieved something spectacular in school, you can be sure it would have been posted online and the actual document encased in gold with a special light that is powered by a platinum casted generator.
So there you have it attack watch! Attack this claim! Thanks Kevin! Another brilliant point!
I. Love. This. Post.
I wrote a comment on another post and it keeps showing up in the Post a new comment section but was never submitted. I know that it is OT, but just wanted to see if this one shows.
Now, to get back to this post. Brilliant, just brilliant. I wonder how many more days the site will be up. It is getting ridiculous. My husband says that I should report all of our far left liberal friends and my dog since she attacks the TV everytime Obama comes on.
Allie, the comment gremlin has been getting me for about two days now. Perhaps that's why Kevin isn't seeing as many comment on his brilliant work – and it IS brilliant, Kevin. My browser is Safari and for two days this week I couldn't even access Hillbuzz. I could get every other website, but Safari said Hillbuzz didn't exist. So I used Camino, where I could get Hillbuzz, but the comment gremlin ate all of my comments. Very frustrating…
Please join me, everyone, in committing to submit at least one Attack Waaaaaaaaaaatch report daily. More if possible. Today was easy … I denounced myself for calling MO's couture a "Klingon belt" and I submitted a copy of Kevin's request above. C'mon everybody!
I'm sorry Kevin.
I had to report you.
I will now denouce myself.
Let's not forget about the ever popular P/F option. How many of those will we find in the transcripts?
Kevin, you are incorrigable but soooo loveable!!
I. love. your. post.
You know, Kevin, this might also explain why people haven't been coming out of the woodwork to talk about how they knew/hung out with/dated Obama during high school / college/ law school. NOBODY!!! If he was there under a different name, they probably think they have the wrong guy. Although, the Punahou School in Honolulu where he went to school for many years probably didn't have a whole lot of black kids, so I imagine he stood out. But what was his name?????
Dear attackwatch: Democrat strategist, James Carville said that the WH should be in a "panic" by now…iiiiiiiiuuummmm…I am telling!
Bravo Kevin!
Perfect.
A friend of mine graduated in his class at Columbia, and despite his being a(n early on) supporter of the Messiah, cannot for the life of him remember knowing him, seeing him in any of his classes, or seeing him around campus, period. I lived near Columbia for two years and was amazed at how many of the students' faces I began to remember/recognize walking up and down the street.
Does Obama even exist? Who knows? Maybe he's like any other monster that plagues us in our sleep — if we close our eyes tight enough and ignore him, he'll simply go away . . .
Follow-up: I've just received word from AttackWatch.org that I must cease doubting the existence of Obama because "Obviously, SOMEbody got us into this mess."
Cartoon Idea
Obama going into a Green Energy Casino with a huge pile of money captioned saying I am going to invest in the Solyndra table