Great Merciful Zeus
Is John Kerry the Victim of Spousal Abuse?
Where I grew up in Cleveland, there is a beloved local weatherman named Dick Goddard who every year hosts “The Wooly Bear Festival” that draws people from several counties’ over to see him in a parade covered in fake orange and brown caterpillars (those are the “wooly bears”, which are sort of like sea monkeys in northeastern Ohio in terms of the fantastically imaginative fantasy world that’s created for them to live in and the attention they’re lavished).
A decade or so ago, Goddard occasionally appeared in newscasts with oddly heavy makeup and he’d seem out of it from time to time, like he was injured somehow. He’d be fine one day, and then the next he’d limp around or have trouble focusing. It was disconcerting because the man is a kind of surrogate Grandpa or favorite Uncle to the entire Greater Cleveland area.
One of the competing local stations started looking into it and they discovered he was being abused by his wife Amber, who was beating him. In one of the cruelest ambushes I’ve ever seen on local TV, the rival station’s reporters surprised Goddard at his home and asked him if his wife beat him and wouldn’t take the camera out of his face. He was clearly bruised and battered and was in tears that the whole world knew what was happening to him.
John Kerry looks exactly like that in the recent photos that show him recovering from a “hockey injury”. If you remember shots of Kerry windsurfing and “hunting” during the 2004 election, you’ll join me in scoffing at this effete, spoiled man strapping on a pair of skates, grabbing a stick, and willingly entering into a hockey game. Now, if he’d claimed he’d smashed his face on the ice while FIGURE SKATING, I’d buy it. But the hockey story is as believable as Dick Goddard back in Cleveland claiming he “kept falling down” when his wife was really beating him.
Is Teresa Heinz-Kerry beating her husband?
She’s shown she’s unstable and has a real temper — and John Kerry seems like he’d be a real pill to have to deal with every day. Is it out of the realm of possibility that she did this to him?
Please don’t think this is anything to laugh at, because spousal abuse is a serious matter and it indeed can happen in marriages where the female is the abuser.
The other possibility is that something strange and terrible happened that Kerry was involved in and the hockey story is just a lame cover. My boyfriend Justin’s parents are big conspiracy buffs and remain convinced that something bad happened to President Bush during his first term when he claimed he choked on a pretzel and fell down and hit his head in the private quarters of the White House while watching a football game. Remember how weird that was?
The man was so rugged and outdoorsy, it seemed so bizarre to imagine him choking on a snack food and hurting himself like that. Justin’s parents think there was some incident the Secret Service covered up — or that Laura hurt him after he’d made her mad (making it less embarrassing to say he choked on a pretzel and hit his head than to say his wife beat him). Justin’s parents think he was hurt while Secret Service hurled him down into the bunker below the White House during either a terrorism near-miss we never were informed about or one of the practice drills they run for getting the President to safety in an emergency (which Justin’s parents insist the White House would never talk about, as they don’t discuss the security plans). So they made up the thing about a pretzel and the coffee table to explain his bruises.
This is just one of those moments when the explanation for why a public figure is all battered and bruised just doesn’t feel right. Maybe Kerry was involved in some sort of Congressional security drill and was bumped into something as his security detail threw him into a car or something to simulate his evacuation protocol.
Thoughts?
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UPDATE: Consensus now seems to be that this was plastic surgery that John Kerry recently had.
I also had another thought after watching an episode of the TV show “Body of Proof” on Hulu this afternoon — it was an episode where Dana Delaney’s crime-solving medical examiner’s character deduced that a murdered bride had a Botox treatment at her bachelorette party.
One of her bridesmaids secretly hated her and gave her an aspirin after the treatment — which is something that affects the clotting of blood and causes bruising where the Botox was administered. The woman who did this was a nurse and knew that the aspirin would cause the bride to sport black, raccoon eyes on her wedding day.
Could someone have slipped Kerry aspirin after his latest round of Botox?
That sounds like something Teresa would do, doesn’t it? Maybe she also saw that episode of “Body of Proof” and wanted to see if it was real.
Charybdis of Lake Michigan Refuses to Endorse Barack Obama for Re-Election
[ Click above to embiggen -- if you dare ]
Oprah Winfrey — the now and forever Charybdis of Lake Michigan, regardless of what coastline she currently hunts — has refused to endorse Barack Obama for re-election and will not provide him with free advertising on her OWN (Oprah’s Weird Noises) cable channel or splashy campaign appearances in 2012.
This is a stark contrast to the fool Oprah made of herself pushing Obama onto her viewership in 2008 — when Oprah made the mostly racially-motivated decision to go all-in for Obama because his skin was approximately the same color as hers.
Back then, she called Obama “The One” — a dream child sent from the stars to solve all the world’s problems with a unique brand of unicorn-summoning magic that Oprah vouched for aggressively. In 2012, with the Oprah’s Weird Noises network struggling to attract dozens of viewers nightly, a floundering Oprah has seemingly realized the great disservice she did to her career by foisting Obama on the public.
Looks like she’s taking a big, steaming number two on “The One”, as only Oprah Winfrey can.
I’m happy she’s no longer living here in Chicago and is now haunting California where this charybdis is the West Coast’s problem (and bane of baleens from the bays of San Francisco to Baja, no doubt). I think it says a lot about the woman that in the year or so since she’s been out of Illinois, there isn’t anyone here who has ever seemed to miss her. Frankly, it’s as if she never existed at all.
That’s apparently what’s happened with her viewership now that she’s off daytime syndicated TV and is in charge of the Oprah’s Weird Noises network — where there isn’t as much of a market for her weird noises as the charybdis believed.
Hopeychange didn’t work out for Oprah any better than it did for the rest of the country, apparently.
Martial Law in America: NDAA Signed Into Law
Tomorrow, I leave to volunteer at the Iowa Caucuses for Ron Paul, the only GOP candidate who has spoken out against the indefinite detention provisions of the National Defense Authorization Act.
As I type this, I’m hearing my neighbors fire their automatic handguns into the air to celebrate the New Year. In the past, this has bothered me a lot. It happens every 4th of July and New Year’s Eve.
Now I’m kind of glad that so many of my neighbors are armed, even though they’re criminals.
Because I’m pretty sure that Barack Hussein Obama made me a criminal tonight as well, along with his accomplices, the traitors in the House and Senate who drafted and voted for this un-American monstrosity.
My two-week supply of food, my hand-crank radio, my gun and the Ron Paul sticker on my car are probably the only things required to label me as a “dangerous radical.”
This is what it has come to in America.
I never thought I’d live to see the day.
Baby Seal Breaks Into New Zealand Home, Falls Asleep on Sofa
For no other reason than the fact that it has been a hard few days, and everybody could use a smile and an “awwwwwww.”
New Zealander Annette Swoffer got the surprise of her life when she found a baby seal in her kitchen, who later began to snooze on her couch, the New Zealand Herald reports.
According to the report, the seal wandered from the bay waterfront, through a residential area, across busy roads, under a gate, through a cat door, and up some stairs before he was found at around 9:30 p.m.
“I thought ‘I’m hallucinating, this is just wrong,’” Swoffer told the paper. “Then it looks at me with those huge brown eyes. It was so cute…”
Photo credit: Crown Copyright: Department of Conservation Te Papa Atawhai (11 December 2011), Photographer: Christopher Clark
Read More: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/14/baby-seal-house-couch_n_1146980.html?ref=mostpopular
UPDATE: Even better version of the story in the New Zealand Herald
Great Merciful Zeus — Penn State pimped young boys out to DONORS for sex
Yesterday, I was talking to a friend about what’s going on at Penn State and she asked me what I thought should happen, and I told her without hesitation that everyone on the administrative staff of Penn State should be fired immediately…and a good portion of them should go to prison.
EVERYONE. Down to the last secretary in the administrative offices. Every last one of these people need to be fired, because there is no way that the rapes of young boys wouldn’t have filtered through to the administrative assistants, file clerks, and janitors at that school over the years.
And anyone who heard even a RUMOR of young boys being raped at Penn State should have dropped whatever they were doing to RUN to the nearest phone to call the police. Absent any access to a phone, they should have taken off running through the streets making as much noise as possible until authorities were alerting to what was going on.
ALL OF THESE PEOPLE SHOULD BE FIRED.
Apparently, the next bombshell to drop in all of this is that young boys were pimped out to wealthy Penn State donors so these men (and possibly some women) could have sex with minors and have their perversions facilitated by Penn State in exchange for contributions to the school.
That’s the sort of thing that perverts in Europe fly to Thailand to do to little boys and girls…and here it appears this was happening in “Happy Valley” Pennsylvania all this time. No wonder American sickos weren’t going to Thailand…it was a much shorter flight to College Station, Pennsylvania.
All of Penn State’s large donors need to be investigated by the police immediately.
Everyone in Penn State’s development office needs to be dragged down to the police station and held under the Patriot Act until they crack and divulge what, exactly, was being done in terms of sexually trafficking minors at Penn State.
PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE NOW -- it is the most disturbing thing I have come across in years.
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If reading this outrages you, do something about it.
Pick up the phone and give the people involved a telephone call and tell them what you think about this story.
You will make a difference because there is just no way that all of this could have gone on at Penn State for all these years without hundreds of people knowing it was happening and looking the other way.
I’ve worked in development offices at nonprofits and let me tell you, the secretaries and assistants gossip like nobody’s business. There is a lot of down time in the development circles and a nice coffee cubby area in every development office. There is no way that young boys could have been pimped out at Penn State to large donors without the entire development staff knowing what was going on and choosing to look the other way.
Please call Penn State and the Second Mile Foundation’s Development Offices and tell them that everyone working there needs to be ashamed of themselves for not calling the police and demanding an investigation into what was happening to young boys at Penn State.
I am going to call as many of these people as I can today and tell them they should be ashamed of themselves for not going to the police with anything they may have heard regarding the sexual trafficking and rape of young boys at Penn State.
Penn State Athletic Department’s Phone and Email List
Complete Penn State Athletic Department Directory
All numbers below are Area Code 814
Nittany Lion Club
| Ken Cutler | Director of Development for Athletics | 863-6761 | @psu.edu">kmc2@psu.edu |
| John Nitardy | Director of Major Gifts and Annual Giving | 863-7664 | @psu.edu">jdn13@psu.edu |
| Michelle Davidson | Stewardship and Events Coordinator | 863-3142 | @psu.edu">oyd3@psu.edu |
| RJ Gimbl | Major Gifts Officer | 865-5576 | @psu.edu">rjg20@psu.edu |
| Janine Hawk | Development Assistant | 867-1590 | @psu.edu">jkh6@psu.edu |
| Casey Keiber | Major Gifts Officer | 865-8137 | @psu.edu">cmk184@psu.edu |
| Clint Eury | Varsity S Coordinator & Sport Restricted Giving | 867-2202 | @psu.edu">cee126@psu.edu |
| Troy Miller | Major Gifts Officer | 867-1598 | TBA |
| Nikki Potoczny | Associate Director | 867-1592 | @psu.edu">nlw10@psu.edu |
| Bob White | Director of Club and Suites | 865-8136 | @psu.edu">blw6@psu.edu |
| Guido D’Elia | Football Communications and Branding | 865-6864 | @psu.edu">gnd3@psu.edu |
| Loren Crispell | Marketing Manager – Men’s Basketball | 865-8140 | @psu.edu">lnc109@psu.edu |
| TBA | Marketing Manager – Women’s Basketball | 867-0773 | TBA |
| Jeff Fisher | Marketing Manager – Olympic Sports | 865-7286 | @psu.edu">jxf20@psu.edu |
Great Merciful Zeus: If you are reading this anywhere near the Eastern seaboard, PLEASE take Hurricane Irene seriously, get off the computer, and BE SAFE
The navy is moving all ships out of Norfolk, Virginia.
Which they don’t do unless something terrible is on the way.
If you are anywhere on the Eastern seaboard, TAKE HURRICANE IRENE seriously.
Do not laugh this off. Get the heck as far away from the hurricane’s path as possible.
Do not be like the people of New Orleans and joke about having been through hurricanes before.
I have a good friend whose whole family almost died in the 90s when a hurricane came through Hilton Head. Her father thought it was all a big joke, and he didn’t evacuate them. Instead, he drank beer and, you guessed it, homemade “hurricanes” and screwed around in the garage, having a great time, tilting into the wind declaring himself “King of all Hurricanes” while the family dog cowered under his workbench thinking, no doubt, “this damn fool has done lost his sorry mind”. Marshals of some kind came to the neighborhood to make sure it was evacuated, and found this fool outside, clowning around, trying to fly like Superman. The cops took water-proof toe tags, like you find at the morgue, and started filling them out for the family members to secure to themselves…because if they insisted on staying, the authorities would need a way to identify their foolish, drowned bodies. If they ever washed up somewhere in a few weeks.
They piled dad in a truck, threw all the family photos and as much clothing as they could grab in another car, and hit the road JUST AN HOUR OR SO BEFORE ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.
Please take Hurricane Irene uncharacteristically seriously.
The media uses weather as porn most of the time, titillating people with tales of “the storm of the century!” so people underestimate these things. I will tell you, that Justin and I didn’t think it really was going to snow that much here in Chicago this past winter, because this stuff is always blown out of proportion…but then SNOWMAGEDDON hit, and we were stunned how bad it really was.
PLEASE DO NOT BE STUNNED OR SURPRISED BY HURRICANE IRENE.
You are too valuable to the Resistance to lose, and your family is too precious to risk.
Great Merciful Zeus! Biden sent to outer Mongolia. For real.
Joe Biden is currently in outer Mongolia.
Democrats sent him there.
There are apparently pictures of him screwing around with camels and horses and other livestock, while grinning stupidly, surrounded by people who have no idea why he’s there, bothering them.
Whenever someone is so inept and disliked in an office, the joke becomes having that person transferred to “outer Mongolia”.
You know, where Biden’s at now.
Hope!
Change!
Hilarity!
