BREAKING: HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedy telephones Lisa Murkowski to let her know, "You know, it kinda sucks to lose, and stuff, 'specially when your family should have that seat, and stuff, you know"
"I wants it, I wants it, I WANTS IT!"
We’ve just received word from sources in New York that HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedy has telephoned Senator Lisa Murkowski in Alaska.
Well, technically, it was Princess’ much put-upon Slavic maid, Helga, who did the telephoning, while Princess was lounging in a pile of Hermes scarves sprawled out on the marble floor of New York City’s Bergdorf-Goodman’s, holding the silk up to the light, trying in vain to determine which ones she “only had a dozen or so of”. When Helga reached Murkowski, and handed the phone to Princess, the “last remaining earthly link to Camelot” said:
“Okay, so, I’ll have another banker’s dozen of those faberge eggs I love so much, even though I don’t know, you know, why bankers get a special dozen, and I’m richer than them all, and I don’t have a special dozen too, like whatever, but if I did, there’d be eleventy in it. And then I also want some more shiny things to play with, you know, and more jewelry. Michelle Obama, my best friend, tells me never to buy earrings that are less than $600, and I listen to her because she is so fashionable and is now proud of America for the first time, you know, in her life and stuff. Are you getting all this down, Nordstrom’s, or am I talking too fast again?”, Princess asked, her attention drifting to some new Chanel tweeds her highly-evolved shopping senses had detected in the distance.
“No, mine Princess, this is not Nordstrom’s, it’s that Murkowski woman in Alaska, the one you wanted to talk to,” Helga said. The sweat on her brow clear evidence of how afraid she was of interrupting Princess Caroline while she was shopping, like taking a baby seal away from a great white shark off the Farallons. Whole limbs were at risk when these apex predators were deep in the hunt.
“Oh, yah, like, right and stuff. Yah, okay, give me the phone. Hello? Is this that lady I wanted to call? You know, like, I just wanted to say that it’s not right that you don’t, you know, like, keep your family’s seat in the Senate and stuff. Because this TOTALLY happened to us, and we’re the, you know, Kennedys and whatever. That was our seat, and that guy who was in Playgirl or whatever got it, and that’s probably why Barney Frank wasn’t more upset about what happened, even though I was like totally pissed off and stuff until I got back to Bergdorf’s to play with the crystal, you know. Well, anyway, and stuff, I just wanted to tell you that you should be really mad about this and that it’s not right that you don’t get to keep being Senator, like my uncle was Senator for like forever and a day, and like I was almost Senator but then I didn’t want it anymore, so I said that everyone was just stupid-heads and then I went shopping some more, which is where I still am. So, anyway, connect me to Nordstrom’s, will you, because their holiday catalog just came out and I demand one of everything, you know. And stuff. My dad was, like, the president”.
Somewhere in Alaska, soon to be former-Senator Murkowski didn’t much know what happened, in the election, or on that bizarre phone call with “American royalty”…and didn’t realize just how spoiled and insipid Princess Caroline really and truly is…but she shared the “last remaining earthly link to Camelot’s” frustration and peeve at having her “family’s seat” taken away from her.
Like a repossessed toilet from Hyannis Port.
Those voters: no respect for dynastic power these days.
© 2010, HillBuzz. All rights reserved.
Also Recommended:
- Alaska Senate Watch Thread: will Princess Lisa Murkowski succeed, with RNC help, at thwarting the will of the people?
- HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedy airlifts in to save "Family Seat"
- Chris Kennedy will not run for Senate…Princess Caroline did much more damage to the family brand than we at first thought.
- Don't cry for her, David Paterson. It's official: Princess Caroline no longer interested in Senate seat (because she wasn't going to get it)
- The Kennedy Family is hitting Governor Paterson HARD for not caving to HRH Princess Caroline's demands
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LOL! That’s so good.
Good article over at Christian Science Monitor ….
http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/The-Vote/2010/0831/Tempers-flare-in-Alaska-vote-count-Lisa-Murkowski-gains-on-Joe-Miller
Woo-Hoo!!!!!
Hilarious. Just heard on Greta that Murkowske has conceded. Woohoo!
That is Murkowski.
Guyzz
Get this in your heads: it is Palin VS Obama!
Got it.
Get it.
Guys, I can’t believe she pulled it off? She has taken down a ‘dynasty’. Its like watching that great scene in the pond between Alexis and Chrystal Carrington!!!! Only now its Sarah and Lisa.
I have totally restored my energy since saturday. Crying will wear you out when you watch wonderful moments at the rally. We are now seeing the moments that will get us prepared for the fight to come. I predict after the Iowa dinner all the guessing will stop. She is onto the White House!!!
Into it as well )
Boyz: your snark is the best! Thanks for the laughs.
I remember in Palin’s book ‘Going Rogue’ how Gov. Murkowski had invited Sarah into his office after floating the idea that Sarah become the next Senator. Then he launches into how it would be unfair to Sarah’s family to impose such a hardship on their mother. And then he drops the other shoe of putting his own daughter in for that seat.
The Murkowskis are a class act, not. And now you know where Lisa learn how to act.
I do feel bad for her, she just lost.
But every election is important, she outspent Miller 20 to 1, and was leading in the polls.
However polls for Primaries are difficult and never produce a good result.
Miller had a grassroots movement behind him that insured high turnout on his part.
Another one down…how many more to go?
Another ninja star hits the White House. Pretty soon the Mrs. will be wearing them as earings or tacked to her belts. Hoping that this blood vendetta is over now in Alaska. But I’m a realist. If Sarah runs, she will be pilloried by the Murkowski family and “associates” with lies. God be with her.