We are living in amazingly strange times, friends.
The White House today issued a historic and unprecedented press release — where a male President of the United States has announced his breakup with a male staffer and longtime lover.
In the press release, the term “body man” is used instead of “boyfriend”, “lover”, “paramour”, “special friend”, “f***buddy”, or all sorts of other appropriate vocabulary. But, if you’re someone who hasn’t been in a coma for the last couple of years, you know the real deal.
Barack Obama is more like Elton John than the White House admits in the press release.
Elton John was married — to a woman — for a while a long time ago. The first time he sang “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”, it was with Kiki Dee. He hid who he really was, and how many guys he’d date, for a very long time; that was for the purposes of his career, no doubt.
And then, finally, when he accomplished everything he wanted to do musically, he came out of the closet and started throwing huge, fabulous parties all over the world with lots of hunks in speedos and sparkle, sparkle, SPARKLE everywhere. You just gotta love that.
It was all RuPaul for sweet Elton from that point forward, possums.
I see a similar Dame Edna-esque future for the current President of the United States, who is still in his Kiki Dee mode with our surly current First Lady as his beard…and guys like Reggie Love and Kal Penn mysteriously booted from the White House every now and then, apparently after Barack Obama tires of giving them kisses.
I have no idea who’ll replace Reggie Love as Obama’s next “bodyman”. Based on his past dating history, Barack Obama seems to favor Pakistani guys like Penn, who was similar to Obama’s boyfriend in college (pictured below), who possessed that exotic look our president loves.
It’s quite clear that in the years ahead Barack Obama will replace Elton John as the reigning, party queen, gay icon. After he leaves the White House and exiles himself in Hawaii come 2013, supposedly to focus on building his presidential library in Honolulu (but, I think, in no small part to scope out the hotties in their board shorts), I bet Barack Obama will nurse his wounds and discover his inner fabulous.
With no political career left to worry about, he can openly be himself. Draped in colorful muumuus, with a retinue of hunky shirtless Secret Service studs around him, Barack Obama will find himself in a new kind of paradise no doubt.
Go ahead and laugh at the idea now, if you want. I remember hearing how some women scoffed at the idea that Elton John was gay back in the day too. “But he’s married!”, “He has a wife!”, “I can’t believe he’s gay!”. Well, believe it, sisters.
The current President of the United States is as gay, or even more gay, as Elton John. It might take ten years or so for him to finally come out and hold court on the circuit party scene, or this might be a case like with Rock Hudson and Liberace where the truth only comes out once Barack Obama has passed on far into the future…but there’s just no reason for guys like Kal Penn and Reggie Love to play the strange roles that they have played in Barack Obama’s life unless they were his boyfriends.
Is Jimi Mistry single?
Somebody get him on the phone…I suspect there’s a job open at the White House for him if he’d want it.
For more on Barack Obama being gay (and the media’s refusal to report on it) listen to this SPECIAL REPORT on The HillBuzz & Mrs. Fox Show!
© 2011, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.
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