Barack Obama Reached Over and Sexually Assaulted My Economy
I feel that it’s time the “truth” came out. I’m a victim of economic harassment by Barack Hussein Obama, who is not a Muslim, but is most assuredly a Marxist and probably gay.
I remember it as though it were yesterday (when I look at the “narrative” my attorney, Gloria “Media Whore” Allread, wrote for me to read at this press conference).
I had been going out with the GOP for about four years. Although I respected George W. Bush, I couldn’t stand his big-spending ways, so GWB and I broke up.
I met Barack Hussein Obama when I was on the rebound. He looked me right in the TelePrompTer and promised me that he was “hopey” and “changey,” and said I wouldn’t have to worry about paying my mortgage or putting gas in my car, or weatherizing my house, or paying for my own health insurance or healthcare. Which was a good thing, because soon after I helped elect Barack Hussein Obama, my retirement account tanked and I lost half my client base.
So anyway, my old gas-guzzler died, and I couldn’t afford a good used car because Cash For Clunkers scrubbed all the quality used cars from the market. But that was okay, because Barack promised to pick me up in one of his shiny new black buses.
Yes, I remember it as though I made up this story moments ago…that’s when Barack Hussein Obama–who is not a Muslim, but is most assuredly a Marxist and probably gay–reached over and was inappropriate with my economy. I could feel his hand reaching up towards my wallet, while he was grabbing the back of my head and trying to force me to bow before him, the way he does toward foreigners and Muslim dictators.
“Hey! I have a belief in American Exceptionalism!” I said, and pushed his hand away. I told him to take me home, which he did right away. But then when I got off the bus, I swear, it felt like he shoved me under it.
I’d tell you more, but I sold the Enquirer an exclusive.
© 2011, Kathleen Gee. All rights reserved.
Also Recommended:
- It’s STILL the economy, stupid!
- Why won’t the agenda-driven media report on Barack Obama being gay, sexually harassing male actor Kal Penn, and frequenting Chicago bathhouse Man’s Country…you know, the way they leaped to trash Herman Cain with unsubstantiated sexual innuendo?
- GREAT MERCIFUL ZEUS: Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie admits there is no birth certificate for “Barack Hussein Obama, Jr.” — which is because his post-adoption birth certificate actually says “Barry Soetoro” on it
- The only honest thing Barack Obama has ever said
- Assaulted by Obama followers in Chicago. Can you help identify this man?
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Brilliant essay!
Hahaha Kathleen that's funnier than 4 gold-diggers going after a conservative black man to destroy his reputation!
Oh wait, that's not funny…
Oh Kathleen! This is great!!! I am all but ROFLMAO!!!!!!! Thanks for starting my day with a great big "belly laugh".
Crowder Eggs on the Occupiers:
[youtube PkW0bt-9kO8&feature=player_embedded http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkW0bt-9kO8&feature=player_embedded youtube]
OMG!!! Bravo, Kathleen!!! I'm sharing this on all the sites I visit. You are a true talent.
"Hey! I have a belief in American Exceptionalism!” I said, and pushed his hand away. I told him to take me home, which he did right away. But then when I got off the bus, I swear, it felt like he shoved me under it."
ROTFLMBO!!!! Classic…………
Touche! Kathleen, I hope that every person in America gets a chance to read your opinion. I shall forward it on and I hope everyone else does the same. Anything that Gloria Allred is involved in, is automatically suspect.
GREAT piece, Kathleen. I think I will use this on comments at as many sites as I can find time to visit today!!
Love it.
This was artfully written Kathleen. Obama is not a muslim, he is a Marxist and probably gay (so true.) I hope and pray that Herman Cain is innocent and that he sues his accusers of slander.
Oh too funny.
And oh so sadly too true.
Imagine how it will be if he manages to corner you where no one can see and feel up your medical records.