Tee-Vee & Movie Recaps
Recaps of tee-vee shows and movies, if you are into that kind of thing.
Timeless (NBC, 2016 to…)
1. Episode One = Pilot (aka, “The Time Tickler”) This is the one where the bad guys take The Time Tickler back to the past, to prevent the Hindenburg from exploding all over the place. What they really wanted to do was to let the Hindenburg explode on its return trip to Europe, where important people headed to the coronation of King George VI would be killed…and thus hamper the US war effort in a few years. Lady Professor, Captain Handsome, and Angry Black manage to save the lives of the people who would have died on the return trip…but the 36 people who were “supposed” to die upon the Hindenburg’s landing survived, altering history. Lady Professor’s sister then disappeared from the timeline, she magically became engaged when no one had wanted to marry her before, and her mother no longer had terminal cancer, so those 36 people living changed things in little ways.
2. Episode Two = The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln (aka, “Hot Damn, Robert Todd Lincoln Be FINE!”) So, Lady Professor/Captain Handsome/Angry Black head back to the end of the Civil War. Everyone is celebrating. It’s the night that Abraham Lincoln is going to be assassinated. Angry Black goes on for a while about Black Grievances Fester stuff, but no one listens to him. Captain Handsome gets shot, requiring him to partake in epic shirtlessness. Lady Professor discovers how handsome Robert Todd Lincoln is and apparently decides that visiting the greatest mustaches in history is a worthy new hobby. They all decide not to stop the assassination of Lincoln, but they do stop the Bad Guys from killing Vice President Johnson, General Grant, and Secretary of State Seward. Then they hop back in the Time Tickler to see what has changed. This time, the only thing they screwed up was that there is now a high school named after “Juliet Shakesman,” which is the name that Lady Professor gave Robert Todd Lincoln when he asked her out on a date. She saved General Grant’s life in Ford’s Theatre, so Juliet Shakesman is so honored with that high school somewhere in rural Ohio.
3. Episode Three = Atomic City (aka, “Visiting One of John F. Kennedy’s Whores”) The Time Ticklers head back to 1960s Las Vegas, when idiots would sit around by pools and watch atomic bombs go off in the distance. JFK would apparently go there to have sex with one of this favorite whores, a woman named Judith Campbell. Angry Black complained about how black people were invisible in the 1960s, but everyone pretty much ignored him. Lady Professor told Judith that she was a remarkable woman…whose talent was having sex with all kind of powerful men. Not sure that takes much talent. Captain Handsome tried to send a message to his wife in the future via telegram so that she could avoid her death, but he screwed it up and she still died. Captain Handsome sure is handsome, but he’s dumb as rocks. Not that I am complaining.
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