Archive for September, 2010
FREE ADVICE: Republicans in all New York races need to NAIL DEMOCRATS TO THE WALL for their support of the Ground Zero Victory Mosque
The most recent polls in New York state are now showing GOP candidates Carl Paladino and Joe DioGuardi within striking distance of Baron Andrew von Cuomo and Kristen Gillibrand, despite all apparent efforts by the Cocktail Party GOP establishment to lose these races.
Looking at the polling, the Republicans win the whole state save for New York City.
New York City, as to be expected, votes HEAVILY Democrat.
This is where the Ground Zero Victory Mosque comes in, and where Republicans, if they had a clue in Hell, would break with their tradition and really and truly let Democrats HAVE IT for their support of the plan to build an Islamic conquest monument on the bodies of people like our friend Jane and all the rest who died on 9/11.
Andrew Cuomo, Kristen Gillibrand, and Chuck Schumer all advocate the building of the 13-story Victory Mosque abomination on the land now occupied by one of the buildings Muslims hit with jetliners on 9/11. The former Burlington Coat factory Islam intends to raze to build the triumphant mosque was not only struck with the landing gear from one of the planes and irreparably damaged, but was coated with the thick cloud of cremated remains and body parts that blanketed lower Manhattan when Muslims destroyed the Trade Center and murdered thousands of New Yorkers. In Islam, the Koran dictates the construction of a mosque on ground where blood was spilled in a Muslim victory. Hence, the importance to Islam of building on THAT SITE and Islam’s refusal to accept FREE government-owned land elsewhere in Manhattan for this project.
Cuomo, Gillibrand, and Schumer all want the mosque built at Ground Zero…which is defined as any building that filed an insurance damage claim related to the 9/11 attacks (which that Burlington Coat Factory building certainly did, because it was struck with part of a jetliner).
For whatever reason, the Cocktail Party has been scared to punch these Democrats in the face with this lunacy.
Because the Cocktail Party is always so scared of alienating the news media, which also wants the mosque built.
Well, we have a lot of readers on the ground in New York City. Robby’s sister Ann-Louise lives there. Ann-Louise, it just so happens, was a Leftist and an Obama supporter until this Victory Mosque business. Having been personally affected by 9/11, and still occasionally breaking down into tears when reminded of that day, she became ENRAGED when we told her that Cuomo, Gillibrand, and Schumer all want that mosque built.
If this causes a complete 180 in Democrat support in Ann-Louise, and the same reaction is shared by others in New York we know, then Republicans need to make sure that everyone living in New York state knows who is supporting this Ground Zero Victory Mosque and who is against it.
Here’s our thinking:
(1) If Republicans are already winning the rest of New York state, and are only currently losing Manhattan, it’s inconceivable that hitting Democrats for their Victory Mosque support will lose Republicans ground outside New York city. We can’t imagine voters in New York state outside Manhattan would WANT the Ground Zero Victory Mosque built or would gain a negative impression of a Republican candidate for hitting hard on this issue.
(2) New York City voters do not want the Ground Zero Victory Mosque to be built. These are the Ann-Louise voters. These are people who normally lockstep Democrat vote and blindly pull the (D) lever in every election. But, 9/11 makes these people stop and think. Many of them were covered in dust, ash, and cremated remains that day. A lot of them, like Ann-Louise, still have the dirty, bloody suits they were wearing that day preserved in plastic garment bags because they have not been able to even have those clothes dry cleaned, let alone think about putting them on their bodies again without collapsing into tears. If there is one thing that would get New York voters to stay home on election day it is the realization that by voting for Cuomo, Gillibrand, or Schumer they would be casting a vote to help build the Ground Zero Victory Mosque and give Islam a way to crow about its triumphant attack on Americans that day nine years ago.
(3) Because New Yorkers are so brainwashed into the Democrat fold, we don’t have much hope for getting these people to vote Republican, for the first time in their lives, en masse. It was heartbreaking for us to vote Republican for the first time in 2008, because until that year we were dyed in the wool, party-loyal Democrats who were taught that Republicans were evil and should never be voted for. If after all we went through in the 2008 campaign, it was still hard for US to pull that lever back then, then we’re telling you it’s a fool’s hope to believe ANYTHING could bring New Yorkers completely over to the Republican side.
(4) HOWEVER, pursuant to (3) above, the Ground Zero Victory Mosque and New Yorkers’ innate opposition to it is more than enough of an emotional tug to get millions upon millions of loyal Democrats to say a “FU** THEM!” to Cuomo, Gillibrand, and Schumer so that these normally loyal voters sit their butts home on election day. To teach the DNC a lesson.
(5) It’s time Republicans woke up and started tearing pages out of the DNC’s longtime playbook. The most effective tool Democrats have against Republicans is convincing conservatives, time and again, to just sit home “to teach the GOP a lesson for not listening to them”. That’s what gave Obama the White House in 2008, all those millions of conservatives who were egged on by the DNC to “sit home” because “McCain was not conservative enough” and thus the GOP needed to lose “so that better candidates would be run in the future”. Well, folks, do you see the opportunity with this Ground Zero Victory Mosque madness to convince New Yorkers to “teach the DNC a lesson” and force them to “listen to New Yorkers” since the DNC is gung-ho, 100% behind the building of that monument to Islamic conquest that spits right in the face of all those murdered on 9/11?
The reason we’re Independents today, and will never become Republicans, is because the Republican Party at large is just so damn stupid most days.
They never learn from their own mistakes, for one, but more tragically they never see these opportunities to turn the Democrats’ most effective tricks against them.
In “blue states” like New York, Republicans don’t even TRY to win.
When Democrats like Cuomo, Gillibrand, and Schumer slit their own throats by backing something as morally offensive and stomach-turning as the Ground Zero Victory Mosque, Republicans stand back and let the Democrats heal, never seizing the moment to go in for the political kill and completely exsanguinate them.
It’s maddening.
Now, in the spirit of not doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results, and aware we have this national platform afforded to us here, we want to put the challenge out to all of you to find a way to do what the GOP will not do in New York state…and find a way to get the voters of New York, particularly New York City, so disgusted with Cuomo, Gillibrand, and Schumer over this Ground Zero Victory Mosque that at bare minimum they sit their butts home on election day and refuse to vote for these three Democrats (and thus give them support for their stance on the Ground Zero Victory Mosque).
How can we, and in a greater sense the Tea Party, do what the Cocktail Party GOP won’t do…and win these New York elections?
Chime in with ideas on this thread.
If we can make a nice dent in Democrats’ New York City support, it will actually be just enough for Paladino and DioGuardi to pull off their upsets…with little to no help, of course, from those GOP fat cats who don’t give a damn about winning these races.
A Message from LeNa JaBrowski, write-in candidate for Senate in Akaska
Click to embiggen LeNa JaBrowski
Early this morning, we received a message from Ophelia Goodies, Executive Director of LeNa JaBrowski’s write-in campaign for Senate in the state of Akaska (sic). Here’s what she said to us:
Dear HillBuzz Editor,
Thank you for covering Senator LeNa JaBrowski’s press conference yesterday in Anchorage where the Senator announced her official legal name change. This is an exciting day in Akaska. At last, after almost 70 years of hiding her light under life’s bushel, Senator JaBrowski is finally able to be herself, and put herself forward as a candidate for office, in write-in capacity, for the November 2nd election. This puts Senator JaBrowski in the ranks of other great Americans who have conducted write-in campaigns for high office, such as the late (and adorably minute) Gary Coleman, adult entertainer Mary Carey, various circus performers, hobos, tramps, and mental patients, and (the redundant in immediate context) Ralph Nader. HillBuzz was one of the few news organizations that covered Senator JaBrowski’s press avail, so in recognition to your dedication to her campaign we’ve provided you with advance text of the speech Senator JaBrowski will deliver at the Arby’s on Muldoon Road in Anchorage just after the lunch rush today (where the first ten voters inside the building to hear the speech will receive free curly fries with any Giant roast beef sandwich (while supplies last, offer not valid in Anchorage)).
Thank you for your support, and for promoting the JaBrowski campaign theme of “Love Rollercoaster”, because the Jabrowski write-in campaign surely gives all Akaskans “The Funny Feeling in Your Tummy”.
Best,
Ophelia Goodies
JaBrowski Loves Being Senator Write-In Campaign
And here’s the exclusive, early release of LeNa JaBrowski’s speech to “Akaskans” today:
People of Akaska, my name is LeNa JaBrowski and I stand before you today not as your Senator, but as your better. My father, the great Horatio Q. JaBrowski was your Governor and Senator, and he loved Akaska so much that he appointed me, his darling and beautiful daughter, to be your Senator so that I could have something to do all day and move far away from him, so that he didn’t have to see me all that much anymore. If you know me, even a little, you can see why that would be.
This write-in campaign of mine won’t be easy, and some of you more rubish and ignant Akaskans might think it’s strange (like taking a bath more than once a month), but let me try to explain to you how I feel, that I still need you to write my name with crayon on your ballots even after all my father did to give me this seat for life.
You won’t believe me if I told you how much I believe I deserve to be Senator forever, even if I drew pictures of myself Senatoring with a giant happy face on me and candy filling my office in Washington, with other people outside so jealous and wanting to eat all the candy my father said I could have.
When you look at me, get so jealous of my wig and my glasses, all you will see is a girl you once knew, although as LeNa JaBrowski I’m dressed up to the nines, at sixes and sevens with you, refusing to leave even though I’ve been summarily fired.
I can’t let this happen, because I can’t change, and I can’t stay the rest of my life out of power. Looking out of the window, my new wig as bright as the sun, I choose freedom, and am running around, trying out this write-in campaign, impressing upon you all the importance of spelling my new name L-E-N-A-J-A-B-R-O-W-S-K-I correctly as you scribble it onto your ballots with your crayons, you insignificant rubes.
Don’t misspell my name, Akaska.
The truth is I refuse to leave office.
All through the primaries it was my mad existence to never keep a promise for any great distance.
Look, as for fortune, and as for fame, you know I never just invited them in, but demanded them, because they seem to the world to be all I desire.
I’m an illusion. I’m not any sort of solution, no matter how much I promise to be.
But, the answer was here all the time for how to keep me in office forever.
I love me and hope you love me and write LeNa JaBrowski on your ballots so that I can keep ahold of everything my father gave to me, without caring a damn for what any of you rubes ever thought or about who would do a good job in Washington for Akaska.
(Sustained humming)
Have I said too much?
Yes.
There’s nothing more I can think of to say to you now, except to write my name really big on your ballot, across all the bubbles that need to be filled in, and use red crayon, lipstick, or blood if you have to, and make sure to spell it L-E-N-A-J-A-B-R-O-W-S-K-I because that’s my name now.
But all you have to do is look at me to know what a joke I’ve become and that every word of the above is true.
Keep those crayons sharp, and your love and affection for me overflowing…as you now rock out to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and their late-90s rendition of “Love Rollercoaster”, my personally chosen campaign song.
LeNa JaBrowski
Write-In Candidate for Senate
Fighting the State of Akaska, one election at a time
There’s not much we can honestly add to this, really.
Operation Samantha Stevens Day Four: Do whatever you can to encourage Mike Castle to make a write-in candidate push in Delaware
You are going to have to trust us on this, because it’s pretty outside the box…but a write-in campaign by Mike Castle in Delaware will hurt Democrat Chris Coons a lot more than it would Christine O’Donnell…so if we want O’Donnell to win the seat we need to encourage bitter, tantrum-throwing, near-octogenarian infant Mike Castle to commit himself to a write-in campaign for the US Senate this November.
The reason we believe this is true is because we’ve been watching the Alaska polls now that LeNa JaBrowski has decided to push a write-in bid against GOP nominee Joe Miller and whoever the Democrat is that’s running. JaBrowski hurts the Democrat, because crazy people who support her are nuts who would otherwise be voting Democrat. They are people who won’t just sit home on election day, and without JaBrowski on the ballot, they’d be voting AGAINST Joe Miller, for taking JaBrowski’s seat away.
In Delaware, everything we’ve seen indicates the same thing would happen if Mike Castle was a write-in candidate: crazy people who are mad Castle’s not the nominee are going to be voting for Coons right now. If Castle was an option as a write-in, they would vote for him over Coons. That’s a net-positive for O’Donnell.
Conservatives, we know this is very much outside your comfort zone and it’s one of those moments when we talk to you directly and feel like we’re burbling in Babylonian.
But, this is the trick the Clintons pulled in 1992 that got them their first term in the White House.
The Clintons nudged Ross Perot on his ego-trip third party candidacy to take down George H.W. Bush and cost him a second term. People who didn’t like the Clintons weren’t going to vote for them no matter what, and also were motivated enough that they weren’t going to sit home on election day. If Perot had not been an option, those people would have voted for Bush, since nothing in the world would have gotten them to vote Clinton.
The Clintons saw this, and realized that promoting Perot to the level of a serious contender was a way to steal votes from Bush. Perot on the ballot gave Clinton-haters TWO options instead of one.
People who vote third-party are crazy on a great many levels, and Democrats have adroitly taken advantage of this. ”I hate both parties, so I’m going to stick it to them both by voting third party! Yeah for me!”. No, crazy person, you only stuck it to yourself because in reality you SAY you hate both parties but chances are you like Republicans better than Democrats, and by voting for Perot you helped Democrats win because you were one less vote for Bush…the person you actually agreed more with.
Not to pick on Perot supporters, or to pretend Democrats have monopolized this tactic completely, so we need to mention the excellent job the Bush team did in 2000 to use the Democrats’ own trick against them…by pushing Ralph Nader’s campaign as a vote-stealer from Al Gore. That worked marvelously, because it tapped into the Left’s inherent mental illness and convinced a great many morons that “Gore wasn’t Lefty enough” so they had the option of “protest voting” for Nader. Which resulted in the person they DIDN’T want to actually win, Bush, becoming the 43rd president (when Bush won Tennessee…not the fairytale Democrats like to tell about Florida…since if Gore had just won his OWN HOME STATE he would have been president…and Nader’s presence contributed to the 80,000 votes Gore DIDN’T get that let Bush win that state 51-47%).
The O’Donnell/Castle/Coons situation in Delaware is a lot more interesting because we have the Cocktail Party vs. Tea Party battle in the Republican Party going on…with the Cocktail Party establishment so desperate to defeat a Tea Party candidate that these spiteful, rattled blue-bloods fully intend to hold their noses and vote for Coons “to teach the Tea Party a lesson”.
Well, if Mike Castle was on the ballot, these fools would surely vote for him, writing in his name if they had to because they wouldn’t want to vote for a Democrat if a Cocktail Party candidate was possible.
That write-in vote would be their twisted “I’m teaching them a lesson” maneuver.
And it would cost Coons enough votes, we think, to let O’Donnell win the way Clinton won in 1992 and Bush won in 2000.
Today, we want you to put your thinking caps on because we don’t know the state of Delaware and had honestly only heard of Mike Castle when this O’Donnell race heated up.
Here’s what we need to do:
(1) Convince Mike Castle to mount a doomed LeNa JaBrowski-grade write-in campaign, out of spite and Cocktail Party entitlement
(2) Convince the Cocktail Party in Delaware to “teach the Tea Party a lesson” by writing in Mike Castle’s name instead of voting for Chris Coons
(3) Keep the Tea Party and O’Donnell herself from discouraging this Mike Castle move and make them see how it benefits them strategically
This one will be tough, because it’s so outside the box and counterintuitive.
But, we really think O’Donnell’s going to win…and this scheme is going to be part of it, so long as we can channel that weird, twisted Cocktail Party “let’s teach them a lesson” garbage into an avenue that’s useful for us.
Thursday Open Thread: September 23rd, 2010
What’s on your minds this Thursday?
What are people talking about in YOUR part of the country?
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We created a new page for HillBuzz, called Library, where we’re going to put recommendations for books and any reviews we receive for books people think others should read. The most helpful books would, of course, be political ones…but anything in the nonfiction social and cultural studies arena would be helpful. Fiction books are great too, if they have good political points and are pertinent to what’s going on in the world.
Please chime in on the Library page with any recommendations you have. We’ve run threads in the past talking about books and will be going back through those and added them to the Library page as we have time…but we wanted a dedicated place to put discussions on books, so please use that new page accordingly.
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Here’s another commercial for avatars, because a new crop of commenters seems to have appeared since our last talk on avatars…so we’d like anyone posting comments to get one through gravatar. They’re free…and they really cut down the work it takes to sort through the spam on this site. 99% of spam computers and trolls don’t have avatars…so it’s easy to go through the spam queue and visually approve anything with an avatar and delete anything that just has one of those little colored boxes with geometric shapes that WordPress assigns to comments with avatars.
Chrissy-the-Hyphenated took the time to make these easy avatar instructions:
If you don’t have an avatar, please get one.
If you see someone who regularly comments who does not have an avatar, please help us out by asking that person today to get an avatar so that spam moderation becomes so much easier. We know that some people are just the sort who won’t do something when asked because they want to be stubborn, or who don’t want to do something because they feel they don’t have to. But, really, this stubbornness is your loss because avatars are fun and they really make your comments stand out…and they give whatever you say personality. Being stubborn not only makes more work for us, but it deprives you the personality and fun that an avatar would bring you. We’d love to see the day when no one has a generic WordPress-created geometric box and everyone had a cool pic that said something about them.
We’ll keep running these gravatar commercials periodically until that day comes.
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Have you heard about the new show “Raising Hope”?
It stars Martha Plimpton, Cloris Leachman, and others…and it’s HILARIOUS.
There are very few shows we enjoy on TV, and fewer still we can sit and watch all the way through without feeling the need to minimize so we can pull up another window on the computer and check DrudgeReport or RealClearPolitics while we listen to the program.
This show actually was so well-scripted and acting that we sat back and watched the whole thing, uninterrupted, and wanted to see more when it was done.
That hasn’t happened with a show in years.
Cloris Leachman is a very nice woman too, by the way. She looks a lot better in person than she’s ever made-up as on TV shows. In the late 90s she did a play in Cleveland and stayed at a hotel one of us worked at, and he got to help her throw a surprise birthday party for her son Mason…and Leachman was so excited to do this for her son she drew a crazy picture of a cake she wanted baked and had all sorts of wild ideas for the party…and her son was like 45, but she was as excited as if she was planning a party for a 6 year old…and when Chef baked the cake and decorated it and the private dining room was all set up for the party Leachman hid inside behind the furniture in the dark and the hotel staff brought Mason down…the lights went up and Leachman shrieked SURPRISE!!!! with such joy in her heart. Afterwards, as the party got started, she came into the kitchen and thanked everyone who helped make everything for the party and gave the pastry chef a big hug. She was very sweet. We won’t ever forget that.
So happy to see her in a new show…and it’s a good one, too. Highly recommended.
QUESTION: How do you think passengers would react if a gunman tried to take a cockpit post-9/11?
What would you do if a terrorist tried to hijack a flight you were on with a gun?
The new NBC show “The Event” featured a ridiculous scene where a gunman leapt out of his seat and tried to storm the cockpit on an international flight leaving Miami full of fuel.
As he rushed towards the front of the plane, and started waiving his gun, the passengers (including large males) just sat in their seats, started crying, and held their hands to their mouths shocked by what was happening in front of them.
Not a single person got up to smack the living daylights out of that would-be hijacker.
That’s beyond unrealistic to us, because after 9/11 it should be clear to everyone that if a hijacker gets into the cockpit everyone on the plane is going to die…and there’s a good chance those hijackers intend to take out a few buildings and kill thousands more on the ground with that plane.
Now, living in Chicago, and observing the TSA that runs security at Midway and O’Hare, it’s scarily plausible for a terrorist to get a gun through the screening process and onto a plane. While the TSA makes a point of patting down elderly grandmothers, harassing girl scouts, and wanding handicapped people, no concerted effort whatsoever is made to pay special attention to men in the age and ethnographic cohort that’s most likely to try to take down a plane. That’s because the TSA wants to be politically correct and not profile Muslims. Hence, 95% or above of its efforts are wasted scrutinizing Americans who pose no threat, so that Muslims can’t claim discrimination.
It’s like swimming in the ocean and investigating yellow tangs, sea turtles, dolphins, and happy, dancing little shrimp with the same level of life-preserving scrutiny you reserve for great white sharks.
Meanwhile, we’ve never found an instance of a non-Muslim bringing down an airplane, trying to take control of an airplane, or otherwise causing mayhem and terror in an airport. Just as we can’t think of a single instance of sea turtles chomping a man in two.
But, that’s a whole other essay.
Today, we’re thinking about the trip we all took down to DC for the Restoring Honor Rally last month and how we were all wide awake, staring forward on our flights. We no longer sleep when we fly. We try to sit in the back, on the aisle, so we can watch what’s going on in the whole plane. If we saw anyone rushing the cockpit and causing a commotion, we’d be up out of our seats with anything we could use as a weapon to take that guy out before he got into the cockpit. Period.
In “The Event”, the man holding the gun had six bullets, max, at his disposal. If seven people rushed the gunman, even if he was a Secret Service trained Olympic grade sniper, he’d only be able to kill six of those guys trying to stop him. Then he’d be out of both bullets and luck, and he’d be tackled and hopefully beaten unconscious by the remaining passengers.
We don’t think there’s a great chance the gunman would be able to kill six people rushing him, either. He might kill one of them, if that, and one than one bullet would probably go into the first guys charging towards him. He’d be out of firing power licketysplit.
If you know you and everyone on the plane is going to die if the Muslims get into the cockpit, what would stop you from taking a chance head-on with these terrorists by rushing them before they got to the pilots?
Would you just sit there in your seat, cry, and make those “what’s going on? I’m so scared!” noises?
Or would you get up on your feet and DO SOMETHING?
None of us know what we’ll really do in an emergency, but we think it’s good to have a mental plan set the same way you prepped for fire and tornado drills as a child. If you are on a plane and you see someone trying to take that flight over, you can’t just sit there and hope for the best. You need to “roll”. As in, “let’s roll” and take these agents of Islam down before they crash us into the White House or Sears Tower. If we’re going to die anyway, we like the odds of surviving a shooting to waiting for Islam to incinerate us in the wreckage of a building they’ve targeted.
Answer honestly: have you thought of any of this?
What would you REALLY do if ever you were in this situation?
When you fly, do you do threat assessments of your fellow passengers and stay awake during your flights to make sure no one tries anything?
Do you consider it a patriotic duty to be ready to help take down a terrorist on a flight if anything 9/11-esque happened while you are a passenger?
QUESTION: Is anyone watching the new NBC show "The Event"
How much of the Obamas is NBC using in "The Event"? By the looks of it, 0% Michelle at least.
NBC sent actor Blair Underwood to the India State Dinner at the White House to prep him for his role as a US president on "The Event".
We choose not to watch any of the shows on NBC, even though we really like Bob Harper (the trainer on Biggest Loser), because he comes to Chicago a lot, hangs out at Sidetracks, and is always very nice to all of us. The networks of NBC were so evil to Hillary Clinton in 2008 and continue to be misogynist and sexist towards all female candidates running for office — not to mention the constant false charges of RAAACISM! and other lies NBC and MSNBC level against the Tea Party movement — that we have more or less decided that anything NBC-related no longer merits our attention.
A few years ago, NBC bet everything on a show we knew would bomb, called “Kings”, that was an update of the story of David, supposedly, in modern times. This year, the big NBC show is called “The Event”, and it too looks like absolute garbage.
Set in a parallel universe to our own, an ineffectual, naive, media-beloved black president wants to shut down a secret detention facility in Alaska and free 27 “people” who are kept there. The “people” are either space aliens or beings from an alternate dimension. In the show’s pilot, a commercial jetliner is hijacked by its pilot, on orders from someone trying to keep those “people” incarcerated and is nosedived into where the “historic and unprecedented first black president” is having a press conference announcing the detention facility’s closing. Just before the plane can hit, in the last minutes of the first episode, “something” opens a portal in the sky and swallows the plane, saving President Blair Underwood (who still, remarkably, looks just as he did back on L.A. Law in the 80s, when NBC actually aired watchable shows and wasn’t so committed to misogyny and personal destruction).
As guys who like shows such as Sliders and other Sci/Fi in the alternate universe genre, we hope it carries some added, expert weight when we say just how stupid this “The Event” show is.
We are curious, however, just how the black president on this show will compare to the illustrious president we have now. We’re still jonesing for a David Palmer in the White House…but will have to wait until 2020 or so for Lt. Colonel Allen West to fill that role. That’s the kind of black president we want to see as Commander in Chief…and the sort of TV character we’d really like in the White House. In the meantime, we wonder just how much of the effete and dithering narcissist in the Oval Office now is being reflected in this NBC show featuring an Obama-esue (in appearance, at least) president.
Is anyone watching “The Event” who can keep tabs on this for us?
We’re just going to be reading recaps and transcripts of the show as we can’t imagine sitting through another full episode of this, even if we do watch it on Hulu for free.
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Not that this is the most ridiculous thing about “The Event”, but the photo we used above of President Blair Underwood, his First Spouse, and First Son also nags at us because the Secret Service would never allow a shot like that to happen.
In the episode, a plane is flying towards the president, to kill him. The threat has been identified, Secret Service is alerted, and the president is hustled into the back of a limo where the First Spouse and their son are waiting.
This would not have happened, folks.
Secret Service would have used one of the limos at the event to evacuate the First Spouse and the child as soon as they were out of the building…once they were in the car, her SS detail would have been burning rubber to get her to the nearest established safe house. The First Spouse has her OWN protective detail, and the little boy would have had HIS own too (though probably not a vehicle reserved for him if he was traveling with his parents). The First Spouse would not have been in a car waiting while a jetliner was headed her way. If she tried to bark orders and make the car wait, she would have been slapped across the face if need be…because when lives are on the line, the First Spouse does not give orders, she becomes an object the SS protects and does not consult.
The same for the president. He would be dragged, a foot of the ground, to wherever he needed to be to keep him safe.
On 9/11, we heard stories about Laura Bush and Dick Cheney being dragged, off their feet, out of the rooms they were in and hurried to safety. We believe Mrs. Bush was in the White House. When the first plane hit the World Trade Center, we remember hearing that Mrs. Bush was lifted out of the chair she was sitting in and hurried, against her will, down into the emergency bunker.
We believe Dick Cheney was in a meeting and was grabbed by SS and rushed out of the room and into a secure location himself. Agents literally burst into the room and said, “Mr. Vice President you need to MOVE” and essentially kidnapped him.
This is what’s supposed to happen, because this is what these people are trained to do.
They would never allow the President of the United States and First Family to sit in a car with the door open staring at the sky while a jetliner barreled down on them.
We know this is television, and we’re supposed to suspend all disbelief and just try to be entertained, but this is so stupid that we had to say something about it.
BREAKING: Most bizarre press conference ever. Alaskan Senator officially renames herself "LeNa JaBrowski" and reveals secret crime-fighting alter ego
"You give me that funny feeling in my tummy"
In what has to be the most bizarre press conference anyone’s seen since Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid announced, proudly, that Delaware Senate candidate Chris Coons was his “beloved, squirmy pet”, Alaska’s senior United States Senator took to a podium in Anchorage today, dressed in salmon, declaring her new official name to be “LeNa JaBrowski” and advising all dozen people assembled before her to never again call her by her old, previous name.
“Today I stand before you in the form I see myself in my mind’s eye. I am LeNa JaBrowski. I was born LeNa JaBrowski. It’s taken 70 years for me to be the woman I am inside, and to be honest with myself and with all my dozen or so supporters here in Alaska. I stand before you the way I dress not only at home, but late at night in Washington where I fight crime in the guise of this once-secret alias. I wear a wig of truth, and magic glasses that allow me to see acts of daring-do and superhuman awesomeness that only I, LeNa JaBrowski, can do. This is why you all need to write my name down, spell it correctly, and put LENA JABROWSKI on your ballots come November 2nd so that I can remain not only your Senator, but the scourge of criminals in our nation’s Capital. I’m like Batman in this way, if Batman was a lady, wearing a blonde wig, a salmon suit, eyeglasses, and wanted so desperately to remain a Senator because he didn’t know what else to do with his life and had no real marketable skills”.
“I always knew she was LeNa JaBrowski. She wasn’t fooling anyone,” said one Alaskan in the crowd, bored by the press conference. ”It’s just like how she’s really a Democrat, but has been calling herself a Republican all this time. Her and those Weird Sisters in Maine, that tangerine-colored Charlie Crist down there in Florida, and that Lindsey Graham in one of the Carolinas, whichever one he stinks up. All those people are Democrats, and that’s their not-so-secret identity. They only ran as Republicans in the first place because Democrats didn’t want ‘em, but that can’t change who they are inside. This clown, LeNa JaBrowski, or whoever the Hell she’s calling herself now, should have been wearing that wig from Day One though, ’cause it suits her better than how she normally looks. Damn stupid, if you ask me”.
In a corner of the room, LeNa JaBrowski’s staff furiously worked through the press conference making buttons with the candidate’s new name on them, while scratching out her old name on flyers, signs, and commemorative plates from the Franklin Mint. In the background, LeNa JaBrowski’s inexplicable campaign theme, “Love Rollercoaster” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers played in a loop. Flustered staffers tried convincing Alaskan voters that this was not some weird way of telling the world that LeNa JaBrowski was, in fact, the long-lost missing third member of Beavis & Butthead and that LeNa JaBrowski was not, in fact, something drawn by Mike Judge as a cartoon.
“She’s a real person, we swear. And she’s currently Alaska’s Senator. This all might seem ridiculous, but this is her calling. One day, she woke up, and instead of the toaster telling her to burn things and neighborhood dogs trying to goad her into rummaging through the trash with them, all inanimate objects and animals started telling the Senator to reveal herself to Alaskans as LeNa JaBrowski and play ‘Love Rollercoaster’ while she did it. We don’t have any more information on this than you do, but please just hear LeNa JaBrowski out on this”, pleaded one staffer.
Meanwhile, on the stage, JaBrowski droned on about what it would be like at the Daily Planet if the readers of that paper decided to fire Clark Kent one day, when he hadn’t finished his work as SuperGuy yet. ”I know this is all a big shock to many of you, but it’s time I act like SuperGuy and stand here before you as my true self, and leave the Clark Kent fake identity behind me. Just as the readers of the Daily Planet should not try to fire Clark Kent, because then they would lose SuperGuy, Alaska’s voters should not have tried to get rid of me, under my old name, because that will cost them the protection of LeNa JaBrowski, my true self, and all the good that I do in Washington as a crime-fighter and superhero in my own right”.
“That woman up there, whoever the Hell she is, is damn skippy,” said Millie Gruhbecht, 57, a retired physical education teacher from Juneau. ”First off, she’s so stupid she doesn’t even know it’s “SuperMAN” not “SuperGUY” and none of this makes any sense. So, she’s claiming that for 70 years she’s been walking around with a secret identity, and that would be her “old name”, but really she was LeNa JaBrowski this whole time? So, “Clark Kent” was just the fake identity for Superman that his parents on Earth cooked up for the superbaby they found in that field, who was really Superman? And that means that LeNa JaBrowski’s father, the one who made her a Senator in the first place, found this nut in a field somewhere as a baby and gave her a secret identity like “Clark Kent” so that she could live amongst us mortals and no one would know that she was a space alien? Is that was this press conference is all about? Because I’ve got Dancing with the Stars on TIVO back at home and there’s only 40 hours of recording time on this DVR, because it’s an older model, and my roommate Kim still hasn’t watched all her Vampire Diaries from last season so I really need to get home and watch my show before it’s accidentally erased. This LeNa JaBrowski business is just a damn waste of time if you ask me”.
Following her remarks from the stage, LeNa JaBrowski and her aides led the seven or eight people left in attendance in a spelling bee, so everyone would know how to spell L-E-N-A-J-A-B-R-O-W-S-K-I and be ready to write her name on their ballots come November 2nd.
Most of these people were sticking around solely for the promised refreshments that were supposed to be served after the spelling bee was over.
Crushing disappointment soon followed when the “refreshments” turned out to be nothing more than plastic bowls of Alphabits cereal and Campbell’s alphabet soup, carrying the spelling bee theme to ridiculously childish extremes.
“I want you all to be able to spell LeNa JaBrowski correctly, even at snack time, so I personally, with my own unwashed hands, took any extraneous letters out of your cereal and soup so that no one would get confused with any “Ms”, “Us”, or other letters that are not present in my actual, official name, which is LeNa JaBrowski. Remember, if you are going to write my name on anything, it needs to be spelled exactly correct as LeNa JaBrowski. There are no “Ms” or “Us” in my name anymore. Tell everyone you know, even cats and dogs this. It’s very important. Then eat your cereal and drink your soup and let’s get out there and win this write-in campaign to keep me fighting crime and being the superhero that I am in Washington!”.
“That woman, whoever she is, is crazy. I ain’t spelling nothin’, no way, no how. I just wanted me some cereal and soup, ’cause it’s Wednesday, and that’s what I always eats on a Wednesday. If she wants people to write her name on stuff, she should have her father do it. That’s how this nut got that job in the first place,” said local fisherman Vern Bludkllept, speaking for the three or four people still milling about the room, summing up what just about everyone present thought about the most bizarre press conference any of them had ever seen.
Vote LeNa JaBrowski!
Wednesday Open Thread: September 22nd, 2010
What’s on your mind this Wednesday?
What are people talking about in your part of the country?
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Operation Samantha Stevens: Day Three:
Click to embiggen -- taking the sting out of the Left's attacks
What creative ways can YOU help Christine O’Donnell in Delaware today?
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Dancing with the Stars Week One Results Watch Thread
If you’re watching the Dancing with the Stars Week One results show, have at it in this thread.
We want to know how Bristol Palin did in her dancing debut.
Post your take on the show…and the results here.
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Bristol is back for another week…which we expected.
Now, we’d like to know how many votes she got.
We’re not a fan of Dancing with the Stars, but love Bristol, so we plan on pushing for votes for her and following her on this show for as long as she keeps dancing. We’re very proud of this young lady for taking this big chance and putting herself out there like this. She’s very brave, elegant, and it sure looks like she’s having fun.
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Now he can haz cheezburgers…goodbye David Hasselhoff. You would have won if this had been Germany…where, evidently, you are still the biggest star that ever was…dignity or not.
Great Merciful Zeus. Can you imagine if people had stood up to the Left like Andrew Breitbart all this time?
Here’s Andrew Breitbart confronting the paid, staged mob of uninformed Leftist protestors outside the Right Nation event in Chicago this weekend.
First of all, we’ve said it before, but we’ll say it again, Andrew Breitbart is a national hero and a personal inspiration to all of us here. He has a lot of guts, a loud voice, and loads of courage. Though ridiculous in the extreme, the Left is actually very scary to go up against head-on. Because the majority of them are unthinking, have few scruples, and enjoy inflicting damage on others, whenever you are targeted by them you can expect a barrage of jabs, cuts, and slights whenever the Left decides to target you and put word out to its orcs, trolls, and other minions that you are to be victimized.
Instead of just taking this, the way conservatives have always done in the past, Breitbart not only fights back…but he goes right up to these raving idiots and asks them what they are shouting about.
In the clip above, there are scores of black people there, holding signs, giggling and chanting along to the rhymes being fed to them by a man with a bullhorn. Look at their eyes. Glazed over, expressionless…they have no idea where they are, what they are doing, or what their signs mean.
When you look at the handwriting on the signs, you see they were all made by one or two people, tops. Then the signs were randomly handed-out to the crowd that was bused in. So, people holding signs did not make their own signs, and have no idea what they mean.
Breitbart goes up to these screaming and yelling buffoons and asks several of them what acts of hate they claim Glenn Beck committed…or why they think Glenn Beck is a coward, since that’s what their signs call him. The fools just stare at Breitbart, unable to come up with a single thing to justify why they are standing there calling Beck all these names.
And then, at about 3 minutes into this, a Leftist Democrat woman in a hideous orange-red trench coat gathers up the protestors and tells them to get away from Breitbart because he’s gay.
We wish.
Andrew Breitbart is rock star awesome. We wish he was gay.
Poppa Bear’s welcome in Boystown eight days a week.
Mmm, hmmm, that’s right.
But, wait a minute, why would that matter to a Democrat? Isn’t the Democrat Party supposed to be the only party gays are allowed to belong to? That’s what they keep telling us here in Boystown, anyway. That if you are gay, you must be a Democrat. Even if Democrats, like the low-rent Carmen Sandiego impersonator in the video above (getting the most wear possible out of her Halloween costume in this Depression), use “gay” as a pejorative slur against someone like Breitbart, whom they want to target, ostracize, polarize, and make ineffectual.
Next up, Breitbart asks a man holding a sign that reads “Beck = LIES” what Beck has lied about, and the mellow, trucker-type begrudges, “Prolly’ everything”.
It’s amazing to us these Leftists were able to carry around all those flags you see in the video, though, because honestly, we’ve always thought the flag to them was like a cross to vampires. Just look at how Obama has such a hard time putting his hand over his heart when the national anthem is played and doesn’t much enjoy looking at flags while it’s sung. Those flags must have burned all those protestors’ hands. Good thing there’s free Obamacare now and all those union benefits so they can get their paws taken care of back home, after they board their five big yellow school buses and head back to whatever staging ground the union picked them up at.
Andrew Breitbart really busted these people for astroturfing. When challenged, they crumpled up, their bluster collapsed, and ran away defeated.
He called for the woman in the ugly red-orange rain slicker to apologize for using homophobic slurs, but she refused, and Breitbart had to badger one union organizer calling himself Eugene Winkler to ultimately say “that was wrong” when pressed a half dozen times.
This should happen wherever the union thugs and Leftists go.
It’s time Americans stopped being afraid of these ignorant bullies.
They are very much like the Ku Klux Klan, these thugs. They hate indiscriminately, have no real reason why they do any of the absurd things they do, hide behind their signs like the KKK hid behind its hoods, and they crumple into the wind when people stand up to them and demand to know who they are, what they are up to, and what they really stand for.
The reason the Left, and the current Democrat Party, hate and fear Breitbart and the Tea Party so much is that combined these two are going to be their complete and utter destruction.
We hope we personally can do all we can to help.
