Archive for August, 2010
Is "time to turn a page" some kind of code that even we, in Boystown, don't know about?
Please tell us if it’s just us, but every time we see the current president touch men — especially very nice looking ones, or ones in uniform — he just seems to get this particular look on his face.
Like he’s Liberace at a Chippendales show in Vegas.
Or Charlie Crist on speedo patrol at Island House in Key West.
Or Rahm Emanuel sizing up a fresh batch of male interns.
And the guys Obama touches always seem creeped out, if not outright sick to their stomachs.
It’s just all so very weird.
Why touch his shoulder? Why not shake his hand?
We’ve shaken his hand, when he was running for the Senate, and it was as limp and cold as an old, flopping fish.
So, maybe that’s why he does that weird shoulder rub thing to soldiers, because they’d probably crush his dainty digits in their kung-fu grips.
Whispering “it’s time to turn a page” to these guys is weird, too.
We can’t wait to turn a page ourselves….to a day in 2013 when the person who is president is an actual Commander-in-Chief we can all be proud of.
HillBuzz Radio: Andrea Shea King Show Live Open Thread
We’re on live with Andrea Shea King on her show…now.
So, listen in, and use this thread to comment on what you’re hearing.
We’re going to be talking about:
(1) Being at the Glenn Beck Restoring Honor Rally
(2) The genius political moves Beck made this weekend
(3) Governor Palin’s speech at the rally
(4) What the rally meant to us on a personal level
(5) What we can all do to carry the rally’s spirit forward in the days ahead
It’s a preview of the essays we’re writing on the Restoring Honor rally, so if you listen in, you’ll get a peak into what’s coming out print wise in the days ahead this week.
BREAKING: HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedy telephones Lisa Murkowski to let her know, "You know, it kinda sucks to lose, and stuff, 'specially when your family should have that seat, and stuff, you know"
"I wants it, I wants it, I WANTS IT!"
We’ve just received word from sources in New York that HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedy has telephoned Senator Lisa Murkowski in Alaska.
Well, technically, it was Princess’ much put-upon Slavic maid, Helga, who did the telephoning, while Princess was lounging in a pile of Hermes scarves sprawled out on the marble floor of New York City’s Bergdorf-Goodman’s, holding the silk up to the light, trying in vain to determine which ones she “only had a dozen or so of”. When Helga reached Murkowski, and handed the phone to Princess, the “last remaining earthly link to Camelot” said:
“Okay, so, I’ll have another banker’s dozen of those faberge eggs I love so much, even though I don’t know, you know, why bankers get a special dozen, and I’m richer than them all, and I don’t have a special dozen too, like whatever, but if I did, there’d be eleventy in it. And then I also want some more shiny things to play with, you know, and more jewelry. Michelle Obama, my best friend, tells me never to buy earrings that are less than $600, and I listen to her because she is so fashionable and is now proud of America for the first time, you know, in her life and stuff. Are you getting all this down, Nordstrom’s, or am I talking too fast again?”, Princess asked, her attention drifting to some new Chanel tweeds her highly-evolved shopping senses had detected in the distance.
“No, mine Princess, this is not Nordstrom’s, it’s that Murkowski woman in Alaska, the one you wanted to talk to,” Helga said. The sweat on her brow clear evidence of how afraid she was of interrupting Princess Caroline while she was shopping, like taking a baby seal away from a great white shark off the Farallons. Whole limbs were at risk when these apex predators were deep in the hunt.
“Oh, yah, like, right and stuff. Yah, okay, give me the phone. Hello? Is this that lady I wanted to call? You know, like, I just wanted to say that it’s not right that you don’t, you know, like, keep your family’s seat in the Senate and stuff. Because this TOTALLY happened to us, and we’re the, you know, Kennedys and whatever. That was our seat, and that guy who was in Playgirl or whatever got it, and that’s probably why Barney Frank wasn’t more upset about what happened, even though I was like totally pissed off and stuff until I got back to Bergdorf’s to play with the crystal, you know. Well, anyway, and stuff, I just wanted to tell you that you should be really mad about this and that it’s not right that you don’t get to keep being Senator, like my uncle was Senator for like forever and a day, and like I was almost Senator but then I didn’t want it anymore, so I said that everyone was just stupid-heads and then I went shopping some more, which is where I still am. So, anyway, connect me to Nordstrom’s, will you, because their holiday catalog just came out and I demand one of everything, you know. And stuff. My dad was, like, the president”.
Somewhere in Alaska, soon to be former-Senator Murkowski didn’t much know what happened, in the election, or on that bizarre phone call with “American royalty”…and didn’t realize just how spoiled and insipid Princess Caroline really and truly is…but she shared the “last remaining earthly link to Camelot’s” frustration and peeve at having her “family’s seat” taken away from her.
Like a repossessed toilet from Hyannis Port.
Those voters: no respect for dynastic power these days.
Great Merciful Zeus: Governor Palin's ninja throwing stars have taken down the Murkowski Dynasty
Click to embiggen pure awesomeness
Since Senator Lisa Murkowski does not have ACORN or the Black Panthers, or Organizing for America (we know, this is redundant), on her side, there now seems to officially be no way for her to mathematically overcome the lead of Governor Palin’s chosen Senate candidate, Joe Miller, in Alaska.
That means Governor Palin’s ninja throwing stars have taken down, hopefully for good, the dynastic, establishment, Soggy Sandwich, Romney Republican Murkowski Family.
Great Merciful Zeus.
This means, next year, a whole host of wonderful Palin Republicans, Momma and Poppa Grizzlies, will be taking office…because of the support and backing of Governor Palin.
They are the RNC establishment’s worst nightmares and the boogeymen and women who keep the Left in fetal positions nationwide, whimpering the dark, soiling themselves.
We really wish Governor Palin had stationary like that above, and would send these notecards to people like Lisa Murkowski, Lindsey Graham, the Weird Sisters of Maine, Mark Kirk, Charlie Crist, and other people in the Republican party who are almost as terrible as the Leftist Democrats.
In some ways, these clowns are worse, because at least we always know what a Leftist is going to do, with no surprises. This lot is forever being either blackmailed or flattered by the Left and state media to do what Democrats want them to do…and we’re just sick of it.
Maybe Joe Miller’s win will put a little terror into the hearts of the Soggy Sandwich brigade, especially its chief cucumber-and-mayonnaise gobbler, Mittens Romney…because there is no way under the sun that Mittens could have pulled off something like THIS, taking down the Murkowski Dynasty.
Follow Sarah if you want this country to live.
Get on her bad side at your own peril.
You betcha.
QUESTION: Want to see how WE would like to see the Oval Office redecorated?
Just click below…
POLL: Whose play name is better and more factually accurate?
Click to embiggen
H/t The Jane for the inspiration
Approaching 11 million hits here on HillBuzz
Sometime in early September, we’re going to cross the 11 million hits mark at HillBuzz…which is recorded since July of 2008.
If we included the period we were on blogspot, from February 17th (HillBuzz Day, our birthday) to July of 2008, we crossed the milestone some time at the end of July…but we’re only tracking the wordpress period with this current site.
We especially want to thank the uptick in hits we’re getting from a gay site in New York that has been attacking us this week…he knows who he is. You’re sending us thousands of new hits every day each time you do this, and bringing us this much closer to the 11 million mark. Thanks! The record-keeping doesn’t care whether these are supporters’ hits, or trolls, so every time the Left writes something nasty and encourages its people to come here, write hatemail, or generally be as nasty as possible, there’s this slim silver lining to all of it because it just keeps adding to the hit count.
There are professional sites, run off actual newspapers and other dinosaur media outlets, that have been around since 2000 or so that don’t have 11 million hits yet.
Interestingly enough, we pulled the numbers for one of those New York sites attacking us today, and it’s been around since 2005…and we have more hits than they do, despite them being in existence three full years longer than us.
Very interesting stuff, folks.
We seriously pray for wisdom and grace to come to these people…while also wanting to let them know that every time they attack us, every time they direct more traffic to us, every time they throw everything in the kitchen sink at us, it only succeeds in raising our profile, giving us more exposure, and making us stronger and more committed to doing all the things we do that infuriate these trolls in the first place.
They create their own worst enemies and make us a much bigger deal than we would ever have been if not for their attacks.
So, keep it coming, Lefties. And maybe we’ll hit 11 million this week, instead of next as we’re projecting.
QUESTION: Could John Bolton make a good VP pick for Sarah Palin?
A lot of people brought this up at the Restoring Honor rally, and we’re surprised we never thought of it before…but would Ambassador John Bolton make a good running mate for Governor Sarah Palin in 2012?
The Ambassador sure would make a great attack dog on the campaign trail, against Joe Biden.
We still don’t believe Hillary Clinton would ever agree to replace Biden on the VP ticket, so don’t even go there. The only way Clinton would run as Dr. Utopia’s VP choice is if Biden discovers he has serious health problems that force him to resign in 2011…and Clinton is confirmed as the new Vice President. We think that would be her price for getting on that sinking ship of a ticket, to actually be made Vice President first, then doing what she could to help Dr. Utopia get a second term. We believe she’s smart enough to know Dr. Utopia’s going to lose…but she’d then be able to run in 2016 against President Palin as former Senator, former Secretary of State, former Vice President Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton.
We just see too many stars aligned and hands of Fate aligned against Democrats in 2012 to believe anyone with sense in their head couldn’t see the disaster that’s to unfold for Dems. And the only way Hillary Clinton makes herself a part of this is if she gets to be Vice President first. Not Vice Presidential nominee. VICE PRESIDENT itself. Just to add to the resume.
It would be great to see her go up against Bolton in debates. Those would, in our opinion, be the most interesting VP debates ever.
And Bolton himself, we believe, would make an excellent Vice President in his own right. He’s experienced enough, and if, God forbid, he’d have to ever inherit the Oval someday, we’d feel safe and secure with him as president.
Our first mustachioed president since Taft, we believe.
What do you think of the prospect, potential, and likelihood of John Bolton being Governor Palin’s VP nominee in 2012? And, yes, we’d like to have either Allen West or Michele Bachman in that role too…but we’re focusing on Ambassador Bolton today.
QUESTION: What's going to happen to the gorgeous Oval Office rug that Laura Bush personally designed and had made for the White House?
Click to embiggen
We think we know the answer already, but it would be interesting if through HillBuzz we could get a definite confirmation on this.
Since Dr. Utopia, our illustrious current president, threw a tantrum recently and insisted he “just couldn’t work anymore” in the Oval Office until it was redecorated to his liking (Cater-era beiges and furniture that came from the old Jeffersons TV set), a new rug was installed in the White House, removing the beautiful one Laura Bush personally designed for her husband’s use.
We believe the George W. Bush Oval Office rug will probably end up in the George W. Bush Presidential Library in Texas.
Just as the new rug the Obamas have installed will go with them to Hawaii sometime in 2013 or so, when one-term Obama begins construction on his presidential library near Honolulu.
The Palins will redecorate the White House in patriotic colors, with most likely a deep blue rug with white, red, and gold accents. There will be lots of Alaskan touches and — we hope — the bear rug the Governor kept in her Alaska office (give to her by her father we believe).
We’re not sure, but we think the rug that’s in the Clinton Presidential Library is the Clintons’ official White House rug…the same being true for the Reagan and Carter presidential libraries, which both have, to our knowledge, exact replicas of the Oval Office.
TWICE we’ve actually seen Jimmy Carter in his Atlanta library, pacing in his make-believe Oval Office, apparently pretending it was 1977 and people hadn’t caught on to what a miserable failure he was. Everything in the room looked like the 70s, down to what we believe was Carter’s actual rug, sofas, and personal items from that time in history. The only thins that were mock-ups were the desk he used and other parts of the White House furniture collection, as well as the historic artwork. The rest of Carter’s belongings no one else wanted, so they moved with him back to Georgia, where he periodically surrounds himself with them and imagines having the ability to do it all over again, this time without being so terrible at “presidenting”.
Can anyone confirm what happened to the other presidential rugs once the new president came to Washington and redecorated?
Where are the Carter, Reagan, Bush Sr., Clinton, and George W. Bush rugs now?
Which rug was your favorite?
UPDATE from CHRISSY: The offices aren’t labeled correctly. It seems the redecoration of the Oval Office is routinely done sometime around the middle of the second year, just as it has been for the Obamas, so presidents in their early photos are sitting in the offices designed for their predecessors. The top left picture is Reagan’s rug. The middle one is George H.W. Bush’s rug. The upper right is the Clinton rug. The lower left flowery carpet was actually designed for Ford, who only used it briefly. Carter did not redecorate during his term and Reagan used the flowers until his new office was completed. The Reagan and Bush 2 pics are correctly labeled. In reading about the Ovals, I came across a really sad bit of trivia. Kennedy’s office was being done over … with a blood red rug … while he was in Dallas. He never saw it.
Great Merciful Zeus (with a side of Oh No They Didn't): Obama brings The Jeffersons' living room set out of the Smithsonian and installs it in the Oval Office
Click above to embiggen
Now, America, this is going too far.
While the Obamas were off on their second vacation this month, to Martha’s Vineyard, White House staff were sent to the Smithsonian to raid the old Jeffersons’ TV set for whatever they could plunder to redecorate the Oval Office.
They stole the Jeffersons’ drapes, and pressed them into weird, striped, beige wallpaper for the walls.
They took the couches George and Weezy sat on while scrapping with Florence or entertaining either the Willises or that weird English guy who lived upstairs, complete with throw pillows, and shoved them into U-Hauls to load into the Oval, ripping up as much of the Jeffersons’ beige, Carter-era carpet to take with them as possible.
The Jeffersons’ coffee table made it safely to the White House, but Weezy’s coffee set and ashtray got dropped on the floor by Rahm Emanuel, who was trying to impress one of the burly male summer interns with how much he could lift, before the young lad matriculated back to Harvard for his studies. The graceless former dancer noble smashed the historic Jefferson china to pieces, then swept the broken bits under the rug, leaving that there on the set (which, unfortunately, meant it couldn’t join the rest of the Jeffersons’ furniture in the Oval Office).
Because she’s now dead, alas, actress Isabelle Sanford could neither be found nor loaded into a car and brought to the White House too, to serve as the sort of gracious, lovable, fashionable, and proud-of-her-country-every-day First Lady this country wants and deserves. But, she’s in the Oval Office now, in spirit, since so many of her TV character’s belongings are being used by the current “president” for the last two years of his single term.
Much like the president who was in office while the Jeffersons were on the air in the first place.
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UPDATE: We’ve learned this whole redecoration is a giant misunderstanding, caused because, while out on his 48th round of golf since taking office, Obama had tees in his mouth while fumbling with balls on the links, and said something about needing to seem more presidential since his poll numbers were cratering. ”Next time I leave the White House for a long period of time, send somebody strong over to the Smithsonian and get me Jefferson’s furniture, and put that all in there. That should do it”.
A puzzled aide asked, “Mr. President, when are you ever IN the White House for an extended period of time? You’re always here, playing golf, getting sweaty with Reggie Love playing “basketball” as “buddies”, screwing around on a lady’s bike somewhere, having ice cream with Joe Biden, or doing whatever it is you get up to late at night with that lights-out-strip-bowling you do with all the male secret service agents under 30. We could redecorate the Oval every day, because of the dearth of time you spend in there actually doing work for the people of the United States”.
“Just get me Jefferson’s furniture, because people are starting to see what a sorry joke I am. And hold these balls, right here, while I get one of these big stick thingies out and start whacking stuff like Frank Marshall taught me when I was little”.
