Archive for April 8th, 2010
Oprah announces new show for her "Oprah's Weird Noises" network: nocturnal series set around her moving place to place, making weird noises
"These noises are getting mighty weird up in here"
Oprah Winfrey was in New York this week, apparently, telling anyone who would listen about the plans she has for her new shows on the “Oprah’s Weird Noises” network (OWN), that she plans to launch on January 1st. Which, we predict, will be regularly watched by all of 12 people.
The first show announced for the network is called Oprah’s Next Noises, a one-hour travel show, filmed entirely at night, which shows Oprah and celebrity pals on surreal adventures around the world, “eating different things, like weird fruits and even lizards and bugs and such, if they taste good”, then waiting for the weird noises that follow.
“I’m fascinated by the weird noises I can make, and think others will be too. I bet they will find it all very inspirational, because most of my viewers are very stupid,” Oprah apparently told reporters, while making weird noises. “See what I mean? Fascinating, right? Wait a couple of minutes, I just had some dragon fruit from craft services, so if you missed that last round, more weird noises are sure to follow”.
This was just one of five new series announced today to advertisers in New York, including Stop Listening to What The Enquirer Says About Stedman; Why I Hate Grapes: Oprah’s Search for Revelence; Gayle King Live!, and Whatever Happened to Shania Twain?.
“My vision for OWN is to create a network that allows me to make all kind of noise on the television. They wouldn’t let me do that as much as I wanted before, because it was daytime TV. At night, I can be as weird as I want to be. Have you ever wondered what kind of noises I would make if I ate a bat? What about if I did that in Egypt, with former Full House star Jodie Sweetin as my pal that day? Well, it’s gonna happen, and it’s gonna be WEIRD” Winfrey said. Added Christina Norman, CEO of OWN, “We want to provide our audience with the tools to awaken, become more alive, and connect to what really matters to them in a fun, engaging, and entertaining way, through weird noises Oprah and her celebrity pals will make.”
The Charybdis of Lake Michigan will be leaving Chicago for good, heading out to parts unknown for this new adventure.
We’ve yet to meet a single person who will miss her.
If we ever do, we promise to report back on that, but don’t hold your breath.
Or hold in any “weird noises” of your OWN.
Question: Will the American people really allow the country to go down the tubes as another second or third world failure?
Ever since this Golden Age of Hope and Change began — which, to us, feels like reliving 9/11 every day, endlessly feeling that nauseating pain in our stomach watching America attacked by those who wish her the most harm — we’ve heard repeatedly that Obama is going to change this country forever, turn us into a socialist state, destroy our economy, emasculate our military, and install the Left’s wildest, Marxist dreams upon a center-right, capitalist, America-loving country.
We’ve never understood how this was possible.
Democrats have been incredibly successful using the media to trick conservatives into sitting their sorry butts home more times than they actually vote — like in 2008, when 6 million did that “to teach the GOP a lesson” because they didn’t think John McCain “was good enough” — and the game plan for 2012 sure seems to be utilizing a third party, Tea-Party sounding candidate (a la Ross Perot in 1992) to split the Republican vote and give Dr. Utopia a second term.
This is something we actually live in terror of, because we know rational, sane people who do not like what the Socialist-Democrats are doing to this country, who still talk about a third party as the answer. They are fools. The Republicans are not perfect. Prior to 2008, we railed against them, and in fact were diametrically opposed to them for our entire lives.
But, Republicans victories in as many races as possible for the next several years is the only way we can remove the Socialists from office and take back this country. Anyone yapping about third party this, or Libertarian that, needs to head to a psychiatrist’s office immediately and resolve their issues. If you want Obama to lose, and if you want to boot every Democrat from Congress, then you need to vote Republican.
It’s that simple.
In the future, when the Leftist siege of our country is over and Obama is defeated in 2012, we’re sure we’ll all ultimately find ourselves on different sides again. There’s a very real possibility what the DNC did in 2008 through this Golden Age will reverberate into the future, causing the party to collapse, or more likely split in two — with moderate DLC Democrats splintering off from the Leftists and two distinct parties emerging from once there was just the DNC.
THAT should be the third party scenario — one where Democrats are weakened, and their socialist takeover of the nation is thwarted. NOT where patriotic Americans’ ability to take back the country is diluted because too many fools are listening to the MSM and yapping about third parties “to teach the GOP a lesson”.
Fools.
There are millions of Americans each year who just don’t bother to vote, or in years past have played those “he’s not conservative enough!” games that led us to where we are today — with Dr. Utopia as president, working hard every day to drive this country into bankruptcy, and into the dust heap of history.
Will Americans stand for this, and allow this man to assume the mantle of Romulus Augustus, presiding over the destruction of what was once the most powerful entity in the world?
We just don’t see how that happens.
And, surprisingly, it’s not because of the obvious, which are the millions of patriotic Americans who would do anything for the country they love.
No, the reason we don’t believe this country will ever allow Dr. Utopia to degenerate and devolve it into the banana republic he dreams of is because of a cast of unlikely characters who are too enamored with shopping in Banana Republics to ever allow their own posh lifestyles to collapse around them.
The “young people” in this country are constantly touted as Dr. Utopia’s “greatest weapon” and “most loyal following”, apart from race-voting blacks who will support Obama no matter what he does, in the same way they supported O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson, no matter what they did, just because they are black.
While blacks will never abandon Obama, even if he killed someone, live on CNN, broadcast on Times Square, those “young people”, if they are anything like those we know here in Chicago, will either sit home and stop voting or might just vote Republican if suddenly they are taxed so much they can’t afford to go out, have trouble making their rent, and can’t shop anymore.
Here in Chicago, making a quick itemization of the people we all know, and the stories they tell us, about 80% of the people in our lives, aged 24-34, routinely have trouble pulling together their rent. First off, they’re paying way too much to live the fabulous life, especially here in Boystown. They don’t understand the concept of “doing without” or “living on a budget”. They might — MIGHT — switch to Bud Lites instead of Heinekens to save a buck or two at the bars, but they aren’t going to stop going out, because if they do that, then they lose their claim to the social scene, which is ingrained in their identities.
If they aren’t seen out in the scene, they stop existing. Out of sight, out of mind.
They won’t let that happen.
And they won’t be caught dead not looking fabulous, either.
They already believe they work too hard for too little money and are all stars waiting to be discovered for something unrelated to their boring, beneath-them, day jobs (the product, we believe, of nonstop liberal indoctrination in the 80s and 90s that taught all of those kids they were “special”, “unique”, and “the greatest individuals ever”, which translates in these people as adults as “spoiled rotten, lazy, and greedy”).
There is a major sociological and cultural collision coming in the next few years that no one seems to be picking up on, but it’s as clear as day to us.
Given everything we have said about the Gen-Y/Millennial Generation, those children of the 80s and 90s who are supposedly Obama’s base, and appreciating all of the massive tax hikes, mandated (and expensive) insurance fees, and government intrusion in our lives that’s on the way shortly, can anyone else see the radical wake-up call that’s going to hit these princes and princesses (and more than a few Boystown queens) licketysplit?
Remember what we said about so many people here in Chicago, who have good jobs by any definition of the term, routinely having to wait until the second week or so of the month to pay their rent — with late fee — because their spending and budgeting does not have them on track to make their payments on time as it is.
It’s inconceivable a generation (or two, depending on how you count things) that has never known hardship and was never taught deferred gratification or sacrifice will magically accept new taxes and increased financial pressure on their lives with a smile.
These people are spoiled, petty, and childish — but they aren’t stupid.
What did all that campaigning for Obama in 2008 really get them?
Once those taxes hit, and if this White House succeeds in forcing all of these brats to fork over hundreds of dollars for insurance (that they’ve gotten away with never paying for), suddenly these Millennials are going to wake up to the reality that America can’t afford everything Obama has done to it.
Once their standard of living dips, and they start to see what life is REALLY like in a socialist state, and their eyes are opened to the fact that the romantic notions their socialist professors in liberal arts colleges polluted their brains with for years are bunk, we can’t imagine these people choosing a nebulous loyalty to Obama over their own abilities to shop and get sloppy drunk any time they please.
Many of these people thought it would be “cool” to have a black president, and liked being caught up in the media-fueled publicity machine that was the Obama ’08 campaign, which Dr. Utopia merrily surfed as the world’s biggest celebrity.
It was indeed a cultural phenomenon, a fad, and this is the generation that grew up on endless, media-produced fads. New Kids on the Block. The Spice Girls. Backstreet Boys. N’Sync. Hanna Montana. The Jonas Brothers. The Obama Presidency.
Rallies. Speeches. Media events. Giant spectacles in football stadiums. They ate all this stuff up.
Will they still love it all when they can’t afford to go out to eat anymore, because there’s no longer enough in their check each week to make rent AND do all the things they feel entitled to do, because they live in Chicago and “this is my moment, this is my time!”.
We’ve seen some of these Millennials throw FITS in Human Resources insisting their checks were off by $15 or so, not comprehending where that money went (to taxes, or insurance), because they are so far in debt, and so living beyond their means, that every cent of those checks is needed to keep them afloat in this city.
We shudder what those HR directors are going to face when the Obama taxes hit, and these kids start appreciating how much this madness really impacts them — and how much it will cost them.
We just can’t see how a generation of people who have been taught to think of no one but themselves, and who have been lavished with every treasure imaginable, are suddenly going to happily accept a downsized, hyper-taxed, “beneath them”, life — all to further the glory of someone who “is so two years ago”.
It just doesn’t make any sense.
Between these fools waking up to the reality that Obama’s ruined their financial outlook, and conservative fools finally realizing that the only lesson they teach when they fail to vote against Democrats is “how stupid conservatives can be when they get together and try”, we don’t know how anything Obama is doing remains in effect after he leaves office in 2013.
What no one seems to be factoring into the political equations for the next few years is the natural, ingrained, nurtured selfishness in an entire generation of young people who are now being subjected to all manner of forced sacrifices to carry the load for people they never in their lives think, or care, about.
Doesn’t anyone else believe these 20-30 somethings are going to stand up and shout this madness down, once it leaves the realm of the hypothetical and the college classroom and smacks them in the pocketbook?
What think you?
RESEARCH: How many planes have been brought down by non-Muslims in acts of terrorism?
Here’s something else we’d like serious research help with.
Does anyone know of a resource listing all the major acts of terrorism committed, particularly against airplanes, breaking down who the terrorists were?
We’d love to see a chart with one column listing the event.
The next column would list the names of the evil doers.
The third column would list their organization.
The fourth column would have their religion.
We’re curious, since this is never taught in school or covered in the media, just how many acts of terrorism in the last 100 years were committed by non-Muslims.
We know in this chart there will be a lot of IRA bombings in Britain in the 70s and 80s, and those should still be included in the chart for accuracy, but those were politically, not religiously motivated. The IRA didn’t do those things to please God, or to punish infidels opposed to their God, but committed guerrilla style violence for political and national goals. It’s still deplorable violence against innocents — but it’s different from what Muslims do.
We’ve never in our lives seen a chart like this, putting all of this information together in one place.
Let’s make one so it can be used every time the MSM tries to apologize for the crimes of Islam and claim it is “The Religion of Peace”.
Question: Will the countless Muslim appeasement efforts have a Neville Chamberlain reckoning for this White House?
Here’s something we want your feedback on, because we’ve been talking it over amongst ourselves for months and have never been able to make any sense of it. So, there’s a piece in our logic that we’re missing and we need you to help us fill it in.
This White House is determined to bow before Islam — literally, in the case of the current president scraping, bending, and kissing the ring of Falafel the Hutt, the king of Saudi Arabia. This week the administration announced it would no longer use the term “Islamic extremism” because that’s discriminatory against the 5 good Muslims that are out there, somewhere, stone-silent in the face of the mass murders Islam commits in the name of Allah. Dr. Utopia, our current president, appears to be doing everything he can to allow Iran to acquire a nuclear bomb so that the Islamic world gains its first superpower — all under the umbrella of power and wealth redistribution this man has espoused since he was a red-diaper baby being raised by radical Marxists in Hawaii and Indonesia.
From Day One, this president claimed his duty was to “defend Islam”, which is not part of his presidential oath to this country as we understand it.
His administration refused to properly address the terrorist attack by a Muslim on Ft. Hood as the act of war it truly was. This White House thought “the system worked” when the only thing stopping a Muslim from blowing a plane out of the air over Detroit was a hunky Dutch passenger going John McClane on his sorry terrorist ass.
Our national security policy towards Islam should not be “hope for the best” and “trust there will be hunky Dutch civilians on board commercial flights to save the day”.
We don’t believe this president loves America, because “American” was not his cultural identity growing up. He did not attend baseball games and eat apple pie. He did not doll his bike up in red, white, and blue to ride in Fourth of July parades. He did not put on a top hat and a scraggly beard and play Abraham Lincoln in a school play — no matter how much his image makers wanted to cast him as Lincoln redux in 2008.
Whoever this guy is — whatever he is — he’s not culturally “American”. He’s Indonesian, Hawaiian, Leftist, or “nothing”. A man without a home, a ship without a port, a loose cannon possessed of an ideology that’s dangerous to us all.
All that said, he’s an egomaniac more than anything else. This president, unlike any before him, believes he was truly sent here by whatever God he acknowledges — just a rung, or half a rung, more awesome than he thinks he is himself — to destroy everything he doesn’t like about America, starting with this country’s resistance to dhimmihood and the global caliphate. He’s not a fool, and proved that by making all the right connections and doing the networking in Chicago to put him in the Oval Office where he is today. It’s more remarkable than Lex Luthor becoming president in the Superman comics a decade ago — a man raised by radicals, who surrounded himself with a motley crew of villains his entire life, is President of the United States, and has set this nation on a course towards SOMETHING he’s sure of, but the rest of us are trying to figure out every day.
What’s his real end game and what does he really believe he’ll achieve?
This is where we have problems figuring this man out.
Considering all of the above, it’s clear Obama will side with Islam over the United States’ best interests on just about everything — from allowing Iran to become the first Muslim superpower to relaxing all Bush era security measures against Muslims that have kept air travel safe for all these years.
It’s also clear Obama wants a second term, and his ego will not allow him to fail in achieving that.
It’s obvious Obama has massive ambition in everything he wants to do to this country, most of it probably overheard as a child, listening to his mother and her radical friends talk about everything they wanted to see America succumb to in the future, or learned from Jeremiah Wright, William Ayers, Bernadine Dohrn, and the other lunatics Obama hung close to in Chicago while he lived here and prepared for his rise.
So much destruction cannot be achieved in just one term.
But, here’s where reality sets in — and where we just can’t understand what the White House is up to.
Everything Obama is doing towards Islam is just emboldening Muslims to attack us. We believe the airline attacks and the bomb explosion in the Moscow subways, all committed by the Religion of Peace, are just distractions from something much, much larger in the works. Something “spectacular”, to use the word Muslims give large scale attacks like this.
The American public sees, clearly, that Obama is doing to Islam what Neville Chamberlain did to Hitler in the 1930s: appeasement. Many don’t know who Chamberlain was– thank you, public school system — and don’t realize he was prime minister of Great Britain who emboldened the Third Reich with his dithering and weakness, but there have been enough times when Obama on television has praised Islam, scolded Americans for holding Muslims accountable for their actions, and called on the nation to submit to Islam as our equal, if not better, on a global level.
When Muslims next attack — and they will, soon — we just don’t see how this White House is not enveloped in a hue and cry of revolutionary proportions. There will be a backlash against this president unlike anything ever before seen in American history. If you thought the public turned on Richard Nixon when Watergate was exposed, what’s going to happen to the current president when his appeasement of Muslims produces only another catastrophic attack on this country — especially when it’s shown that his lax policies towards security are to blame for so many Americans being killed.
This is the part we just don’t understand.
Why is he setting himself up for such a blowback?
Does he truly believe all of the appeasing things he’s doing, all of the bows and scrapes, all of the dhimmi acts, are going to change Islam and make it our friend? Does he truly believe Muslims are misunderstood Care Bears in need of hugs, and not an apocalyptic cult of women, gay, Jew, and democracy-haters who dream every night of our destruction?
Once the next large-scale attack hits the US, this appeasement garbage will be out the window.
The public will not stand for it.
What support this man still clings to in the polls will evaporate overnight. Or, does he believe he’ll rocket in popularity like Bush did after 9/11? That’s absurd, because President George W. Bush was the right man, at the right time, in history on that terrible day. We needed a tough as nails, 100% American, red, white, and blue hero and we got one. Say what you will about the man in other areas, and he surely admits he’s not perfect in any way, and that he had his failings, but the country rallied around Bush that awful day not because it would have rallied around ANYONE, but because it needed to rally around someone APPROPRIATE.
Obama has repeatedly proved himself inappropriate in this area. The Muslim appeasement and global apology tour, in our opinion, preclude a “rally ’round the president” moment from happening for him. The MSM will do its level best to stoke one. Anderson Cooper, Chris Matthews, and Keith Olbermann will work tirelessly night and day making excuses for how this was not his fault. But the public will know. They’ll remember all the many speeches about Obama’s duty to defend Islam, and his belief that Muslims are unfairly regarded as murdering terrorists in a world in which Muslims commit mass murder and terrorism.
It’s going to have Watergate potential, times a hundred, in terms of what it does to this administration.
We don’t believe there’ll be a second term as it is now, but we guarantee a major terrorist attack on US soil under this president will solidify him as a one-term failure, for sure.
So, why is he doing all of this?
Is he naive?
Does he really believe the appeasement will pay some sort of dividend?
Does he not have any idea at all what he is doing?
What’s behind all of this, and what do you think will happen, Heaven forbid, should Muslims kill hundreds or thousands of Americans while on Obama’s watch?
Please take a moment and really think about this, because someone out there must have some insight that hasn’t occurred to us yet that could possibly make some sense out of the madness of this administration.
Question: When something bad happens to America, do you ever get the feeling Obama smiles, just a little?
Be honest here.
It’s something we think about any time something bad happens to America — or almost happens, like yesterday’s incident on the Washington-Denver flight.
When we hear news like this, we honestly can picture the current president smiling, even just a little, happy something awful happened to the country.
Not because he hopes to profit from it politically, in Rahm Emanuel “no crisis wasted mode”, but because we truly do believe this man, sitting in the Oval Office, hates America and wants to see it destroyed.
We even believe, truly, he’s disappointed when Muslims fail to blow planes out of the air. It probably ruined his Christmas that the Copenhagen-Detroit bomb didn’t go off as planned.
Does anyone else feel this way?
It’s a gut, instinctive thing with us — but we’ve never seen a president behave the way this man does. We’ve never had a first lady who hates this country as much as our current FLOTUS does. Jimmy Carter was pretty terrible, but he’s actually a very nice man. He has relatively little to do so you can go down to the Carter Center and meet him any time you like. They have a mockup of the Oval Office there, fixed up all 1979, where he spends most of his days…pretending he’s still president, talking on the phone to no one on the other line, being crazy. But, still, under everything that’s wrong with Carter — and there’s a lot — we believe Carter is a good person who never wanted to see the country destroyed. He was inept and foolish, naive to put it politely, and he’s an anti-semite for sure, but he’s still an American.
Obama’s different.
He may have been born in this country, but his formative years were spent in Indonesia, and in the weird environment of Hawaii that’s as far removed from the country as possible.
We don’t believe he cares much what happens to the people he’s leading. Whether we suffer, thrive, live, or die, none of it matters to him. He’s thinking of the next award he’ll win, or the next cocktail party he’ll throw, or how long he has to wait until the next time he can invite Justin Beiber to the White House.
When America is hit by enemies, we really think he smirks. ”Take that,” is what we picture him saying.
Maybe we’re wrong. Maybe he’s secretly a hyper-patriot, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance twelve times a day. It’s doubtful, but we don’t know the man, so anything’s possible.
What do you think?
Is our read on him wrong, or are you on the same wavelength here?
Thursday Open Thread: April 8th, 2010
Because life is short, and we love us some Whitney Houston, let’s start the day with some fun — in the form of this little Taiwanese boy who’s an incredible mimic of our favorite singer.
Yes, we remain Team Whitney. Now and forever. The woman bought one of us an Auntie Anne’s cinnamon pretzel, and sprung for lemonade, too, in the mid-90s, and she was a fun and classy lady to spend a day in Cleveland with. As totally random as that is. But, more than pretzels, she has the most beautiful voice we’ve ever heard, and her songs are some of our favorites from the 80s.
Yes, she’s been down. She’s made a lot of mistakes. Bobby did her wrong, but she failed herself, her daughter, and all those who loved her as well. She knows that. She owns it. We love her.
It breaks our hearts that her comeback tour has been a failure, and that she’s still being hospitalized for “allergies”, seemingly every other day. The woman spends more time in the ER than registered nurses, or personal injury attorneys. We know the road she’s on, and it’s not a pretty one. Just as we knew Michael Jackson would end up the way he did, and we’ve watched many guys here in Boystown self-destruct abusing all kinds of drugs, prescription and otherwise.
We just keep hoping Whitney pulls it together. We’d love to treat her to a pretzel this time, and have that marvelous voice back, up on the stage, belting it out in a concert right here in Chicago where we could (and would) make damn fools of ourselves screaming and shouting, and jumping up and down, shouting WHITNEY! WHITNEY! WHITNEY! over and over again.
If a Taiwanese boy mimicing her still sounds divine…just imagine the glory of Miss Whitney Houston back on top of her game, the prodigal daughter returned, embarking on the second, even more successful, half of her career…Tina Turner style. Tina left Ike, had it rough, sank low…and became simply the best.
Now, it’s Miss Whitney’s turn.
God willing.
Fingers crossed.
****************
Here’s more randomness for you: someone else we really like made a movie.
It’s called Mega Piranha, and it stars Tiffany. This is one of those terrible monster movies made for all of $100 that Robby’s sister Ann-Louise is always “starring” in. That nobody ever sees. She’s not in this one, though.
Tiffany is a wonderful person. We met her three years ago when she was here in Boystown for either Pride or Market Days (for some reason, it’s really hard for us to keep track of who sang at what — since the festivals happen on the same street, about a month apart, and both feature acts like Tiffany or Debbie Gibson or Frenchie Davis or whomever).
Panda, of course, got us backstage, which was really just an open area with a limo and a camper in the shadow of the IHOP. We helped Tiffany look for her sunglasses, and part of us thought Panda tried to steal them, because of course he was the one who “found” them, after much effort. Wiping the fingerprints off the glasses with his rainbow colored hanky, he handed them back to Tiffany and she gave him a big hug and kissed him on the cheek and said, “My hero”.
Classic.
Who knows how many people he’s pulled this “lost sunglasses” stunt with. Carol Channing. Bea Arthur. Lady Gaga. Never put anything past Panda.
Or, pandas in general. Watch those sunglasses at the zoo.
Just saying.
