Archive for March 13th, 2010
Carly Fiorina's lasting contribution to politics: creating the craziest damn campaign ads anyone has ever seen
We want Chuck DeVore to win the GOP nomination, because we believe he is best poised to defeat Barbara “call me SENATOR, peasants” Boxer, but we have to say how much we love whatever medication Carly Fiorina’s on when she approves her campaign ads.
First the Demon Sheep hilarity.
Now the Boxer Blimp.
Crazy.
Like, stuff we would make if we were tech savvy enough.
Or high on horse-tranquilizing grade prescription meds.
Like Martha Coakley before her, it doesn’t seem Fiorina wants to win the election so much as she is determined to do something ridiculous, every day, until she’s yanked off the stage by voters.
“I love embarrassing myself. It’s fun. Then, after I do it, I go home and lock myself in my room and giggle. Sometimes, I have to lay on the floor, I’m giggling so hard over the things I did, that I can’t even catch my breath. That’s when I know I REALLY embarrassed myself,” Coakley reportedly told former supporters, trying her best to explain her campaign for the Senate.
Maybe Fiorina loves getting “the giggles” too.
She sure as heck gives them to us!
Hottie McAwesome brings the hot, the awesome, and the ass-kicking to the defense of Liberty. So what are you doing?
Love. This. Man.
Hottie McAwesome hits it out of the park. Again.
When it really counts, folks, Scott Brown will always be on the side of Liberty and what’s right for America. He was sent to Washington to stop the Healthcare Rationing madness, and he is doing everything he can to fulfill that promise. He’s kicking ass, folks. He-man, centerfold style.
What are you doing?
Question: Is America worth fighting for?
Get off those comfy butts and help her FIGHT BACK
We’ve been reading a lot of comments on sites like Redstate and Ace of Spades, where the usual tight khaki pants and blue blazers brigade of young, Romney Republicans keep saying things like “We doooooomed! Doooooomed! We should just give up because there’s no way to stop Democrats from destroying the Republic! Doooooomed!”.
Eeyores.
When the going gets tough, these little punks always just give up. They like to strut around at cocktail parties, and love networking opportunities, and ADORE posting defeatist nonsense on websites, but do any of these little punks ever get out and fight…for anything…and stick to their guns? Do they love ANYTHING in life enough to put down the rocks glass, suit up, possibly buy a cup (or a pair), and act like men for a change?
What if the Gap discontinued their tight little tan pants and blazers? Would they even fight then, when something they love so much (and, admittedly, makes their butts look absolutely KILLER in many cases) was taken away?
We here happen to love America even more than those clowns and Eeyores love their khakis.
We love America more than just about anything else out there.
We love America more than any religion, more than any party, more than any candidate, more than our friends, more than our family, more than OURSELVES.
Lady Liberty’s being hit upside the head with a two-by-four, folks. They’ve got the goddess of Freedom down on her knees, and the current president’s standing above her, laughing, pissing all over her crown, with his “fashion icon” of a wife clapping, cheering, and being “proud of urination for the first time in (her) adult life”.
Every Democrat in elected office is complicit in the worst attack on our democracy in history.
Worse than what the Empire of Japan did to our navy at Pearl Harbor in 1941.
Worse than what Muslims did to three of our buildings in New York and DC sixty years later.
In World War II, all of our grandparents fought, on the homefront or in Europe, to defend and protect the nation they loved.
After 9/11, many of our friends enlisted and served our country in ways we could not, because the country we love didn’t want a bunch of gay guys doing their part as Marines or Airmen. So, we endeavored to do our own part on the homefront, and have taken a stand for America every day, in every way possible, since.
Democrats are now doing to America what only our enemies have done to us before.
What Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and the rest of Democrats in elected office are doing by attempting to usurp the Constitution and ram their Rationing bill through Congress illegally is absolute treason. Everyone involved should be held accountable to the fullest extent of the law — and if the president himself doesn’t zip up, put his gerkin away, and stop doing his back alley business all over Lady Liberty and our Constitution, then every effort should be made to impeach him for dereliction of his duties and the willful destruction of our Constitution (the thing he swore on January 20th to defend and protect…not, as he believes, “to piss all over”).
This coming week is going to get nasty.
The coming months are going to be very scary.
The world feels like it’s upside down. Because, frankly, Democrats have turned everything upside down. The Leftists who seized power in 2008 and drove all moderate and conservative Dems to the side must be utterly and completely defeated.
We need to cut off their funding sources.
We need to expose their connections to George Soros and other villains.
We need to eliminate every organization like ACORN, the Black Panthers, Organizing for America, and the rest that enable Democrats to rig elections, intimidate voters, and carry on as usual.
This time, we can’t stop once we’ve prevented the Left from enacting its current plans. We believe we’ll prevent them from illegally ramming the Rationing through. BUT, once we’ve done that, we can’t let up.
We need to rev Americans up to fight for this country by completely and utterly annihilating the Left in all its forms. They all need to be driven from office, and then, once Republicans regain control, enormous public pressure must be put on them to prosecute all Democrats involved in the assault on this Republic.
There needs to be trials for treason. The DNC itself should be indicted and disbanded.
Democrats have declared war on the Republic…and the Republic needs to strike back.
They’ve gone too far this time.
They think it’s just business as usual, where they pull their stunts, they try to get away with as much as possible, there’s an election, they lose, people forget, they rise up to try more later.
NOT. THIS. TIME.
No.
This time, Americans cannot stop until the Left is driven from power permanently. If Democrats really try this illegal subversion of the Constitution, we advocate for the complete destruction and disbanding of the Democrat party. Like the Baathists of Iraq or the National Socialists of Germany or the Communist Party in much of what was once draped in the Iron Curtain.
When we get Lady Liberty back up on her feet, cleaned up, and standing proud again, it will be time to bring the Democrat Party to its knees, get out the two-by-fours, and do to it what it tried to do to this country.
You need to ask yourself every day if America is worth fighting for…and if so, what are you going to do to help her when she needs it?
You need to get off that comfy butt if you’re going to kick some butt.
Just saying.
That one’s for you, RedState.
Cocktail party’s over. Time for big boys, and ladies, to MAN UP and get stuff DONE.
Democrats position Death Star within firing range of Alderaan
There when her people needed her.
Here when America needs her.
Last night, we were all at Roscoe’s here in Boystown, having our first pitcher of Green Miller Lite for St. Patrick’s Day, where Panda was telling us about a crazy person who think she’s James Brown’s illegitimate daughter, and is convinced his body’s been stolen from his crypt and is “being hidden somewhere” just so no one can ever prove the things she’s saying are true. Sheer and utter madness.
On the part of Panda — who not only believes the woman, but goes a step further and says, “I don’t think he’s even really dead. I think he just wanted to retire, but people wouldn’t leave him alone, so he faked his death and is living the good life somewhere in secret, like in Death Becomes Her”. That’s a movie in which Panda also believes Marilyn, Greta Garbo, James Dean, Jim Morrison, and Elvis “played themselves”, secretly, as an in-joke in party scenes where long-dead celebrities are shown to have drunk magic potions to keep them alive forever. Panda, inexplicably Chicagoland’s number one Michael Jackson fan, is more convinced than ever by the James Brown crypt eviction nonsense that “MJ” is still alive, well, and moonwalking somewhere. ”He just didn’t want to be bothered anymore, and is doing fine in Switzerland or Dubai, and in like 30 years someone will tell when he’s really dead and the secret is safe”.
We swear, we only had the one pitcher of Green Beer. And we shared it four ways. So, where Panda gets this stuff is just beyond us.
But it makes us think about what Democrats are doing these days — actually working to usurp the Constitution and trying to cram their Healthcare Rationing bill through Congress without the House voting on it.
The way the Constitution reads, for a bill to become law the Senate and the House must both pass the exact same bill. Then, once it’s passed in both Chambers, it goes to the White House to be signed or vetoed.
Democrats wrongly, and unconstitutionally, believe they can take the bill the Senate passed on Christmas Eve, in secret, in the dead of night, and claim “it’s as good as passed” in the House, without the House actually passing it. Then, they want to just shunt that Senate bill to the White House for passage.
We don’t see how it’s possible for them to succeed in this, but let’s operate for a second under the assumption they can get away with that. Let’s just say they do it. The White House signs it. It becomes law.
In the vernacular of people like us, children of the 80s, it’s the equivalent of moving the Death Star within firing range of Alderaan and letting slip a giant, lethal blast of planet-killing destructive energy.
Only, in our example, it’s not a planet they’ll destroy (so, calm down Al Gore, no chance here of setting up a new apocalyptic cult for yourself), or a nation, or the Constitution.
No, if these lunatics do this, they will destroy the Democrat Party. Utterly and completely. There won’t even be asteroids the size of cookie crumbs left when the dust settles on this.
If you know Star Wars, you’ll realize the moment the Empire destroyed Alderaan, using its most destructive and in-you-face weapon for the first time, was when it really lost the Galactic Civil War. By doing something so horrible, so unimaginable, so abusive of power, it steeled Princess Leia Organa into the no-holds-barred freedom fighter she became in the opening scenes of Empire Strikes Back, leading rebel efforts on the icy moon of Hoth, ditching her flowing, halycon white princess robes for the no-nonsense gear of a woman determined to bring the Empire down at all costs and restore democracy to the Republic.
THAT is what’s going to happen to people all across this country if Democrats aim and point a weapon of mass destruction at the Constitution. The energy unleashed will not come from the party, but from the PEOPLE, who will direct a massive blast of American common sense and patriotism at the DNC, and we believe nothing at all will remain standing.
We do not believe there will still exists a Democrat party after 2012 if the three socialist fools standing on the bridge of the White House’s insane version of the Death Star do what they have sworn they will do. Obama. Pelosi. Reid. The three people who will fully reveal the Democrat Part to be the anti-American destructive force it has become.
We don’t believe they’ll succeed in firing that Death Star, but if they do, they will the ones who will ultimately be destroyed, because in doing something so heinous and unimaginable, they will wake a sleeping giant.
Guys like us will commit full time to doing everything we can to bringing every Democrat out there, at all levels down.
Housewives will stop shuttling the kids to all manner of nonsense like karate classes, and finally realize there’s more important things to do than race around in minivans all day. They will stay home and create Coffee Clubs in their kitchens, where they will gather together neighbors and plot strategy for taking back the country.
Union guys, who always have done what their Union masters have told them, will finally think for themselves, get off the comfy leather Union-enabled Barcoloungers, and will decide, “That’s it. I’ve had enough of this socialist crap. Time to kick butt and save America”.
All across the country this will happen.
A Resistance will form.
In Cleveland. And Mineral City. And Chicago. And Pittsburgh. And San Antonia. And Rochester. And New York.
All of our home towns.
All of yours.
And somewhere, in the West, like Leia of Alderaan, we believe a strong woman will emerge to lead the Resistance and take back our government starting in 2010, and culminating in 2012 when she heads to the White House herself to clean up the biggest mess left of our government since the Civil War.
In Wasilla, Alaska, you’ll find her.
The Force is strong in her.
May the love of country be as strong in all of us — because at this moment in history we need it. And America needs us all to remain vigilant and strong in the face of unimaginable Democrat-wielded horrors.
Dead Man Walking: Alexi Giannoulias to drop out of Senate race before Easter
The key to taking down bad Democrats is cutting off their revenue streams.
Apply pressure to donors, keep the donors from giving money to these lunatics, and bad Democrats just go away.
They will NOT self-finance their own campaigns. If wealthy, misguided, celebrity-obsessed people in cities like Chicago, who give money to campaigns because they want their pictures taken with famous people, don’t want to be associated with a candidate who is getting bad press and whose picture they can’t be proud to have on their walls, then they won’t give those people any money.
As everything about the corrupt, insolvent, mob funding Broadway Bank has finally made news, Alexi Giannoulias has become a pariah in Chicago. He holds fundraisers where more waiters and bartenders are in attendance than paying guests.
He is not long for the political scene.
We have no idea who will replace him, but the fact Chicago is a buzz today with talk of WHO will replace him means he’s a dead man walking.
Something to think about: last night we ran into two guys we know from Hillary’s 2008 campaign who worked for David Hoffman, who Giannoulias defeated in the primary for the Democrats’ nomination. We asked them what campaign they are working now, because these guys usually jump onto a new political ship when one campaign ends. They don’t have a new candidate yet. They don’t have new jobs yet.
We think they are waiting for Hoffman to take Giannoulias’ place in the Senate race. It does not appear Hoffman’s team has disbanded, and could be waiting for more shoes to drop on Giannoulias before they give up on Hoffman for good.
Saturday Open Thread: March 13th, 2010
What’s on your minds this Saturday?
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Have you seen the new Lady Gaga video yet?
We love Lady Gaga. One of us here more than others, because we all insist our friend Panda is secretly Chicago’s top Lady Gaga impersonator, Baby Googoo, though he won’t ever admit it. The occasional stray feather on a jacket or bit of sparkle on an otherwise sparkle-free sweater gives him away, though, in our opinion, like finding random scars on Bruce Wayne that connect him back to Batman.
In drag.
In the middle of the new video, there’s a scene where Gaga makes sandwiches using Miracle Whip in prison.
We could NOT help but imagine the scene done with Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, John Thune, Mitch Daniels, John Huntsman, and the other boring, stale, cucumbers-and-mayonnaise, GOP candidates the MSM wants to push for 2012 all, well, making cucumbers-and-mayonnaise sandwiches, somewhere white and boring, drab, exciting no one.
It would be a great visual…all of them smiling, carrying on their business, making boring product America does not want, no matter how hard the MSM tries to sell it to GOP primary voters…before eviscerating whichever one of these guys they manage to push to the GOP nomination.
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