"Governor Crist, you are embarrassing yourself more than usual. Really, you're practically Martha Coakley at this point."

Sometimes, Republicans just amaze us.

Ever since June of 2008 when we started working with Republicans for the first time, and we met our very first Republican friends by becoming Democrats for McCain, and then Democrats for Palin, we’ve been startled at times by how different, culturally and behaviorally, we are from our GOP counterparts. It’s not political policy differences we’re talking about:  it’s how we all approach confrontation.

Republicans let people get away with far more than Democrats do.  Some of you out there chalk that up to a mythical “I’m going to take the high road”, when there’s really no clear set of two separate roads, high or low, visible.  Republicans typically  lose elections because they’re trying to construct these nonexistent “high roads”, while Democrats focus on completely and utterly decimating their opponents.  Ironically enough, the Clintons lost in 2008 because they “took the high road” with Dr. Utopia, never hit him on his drug abuse, his shady trip to Pakistan in 1981, and all of his lifelong connections to radicals…whereas Utopia’s hopey-change campaign made up everything it could about Hillary Clinton, including calling the woman and her husband RAAAACISTS over and over again.  You know where the “high road” leads:  to ruination.

Charlie Crist used to frequent a seedy bar in Tampa, Florida called The Green Iguana.  This is established fact.  Bar regulars, and the owner of the bar, have repeatedly gone on record noting Crist was a longtime patron.  It’s a bar where many men visit dolled up in drag, wearing their finest, batting their fake eyelashes for a beer.  Crist dragged up as “Sweet Charlotte, Belle of the South” for many an adventure at The Green Iguana.

Google it.

So, we’re stunned Republicans allow Crist to take so many weird hits at Marco Rubio, who is cleaning his Max Factor caked-on clock nine ways to Tuesday, including accusing Rubio of getting “back waxes”.

Crist has done lost his mind.

Let us remind you of how things would work if Crist was a Democrat.  Technically, Crist is a Democrat, but he’s wearing Republican drag and is allowed to get away with that too.  Let’s rephrase, and remind you of how things would go down if this was a Democrat primary and not a Republican one:  chances are, The Green Iguana shenanigans would not come to light because many a Democrat candidate has adventures like that of his own (see also: Man’s Country in Andersonville).  Just as most of the golf community knew about Tiger Woods’ crazed sex addiction and drug abuse, the political world knows who’s going rub-a-dub-dub with three or more men in a tub in bathhouses around Chicago.  But, no one talks about it openly. Everyone knows though.

And that only comes to life when a candidate like Crist either defies the Daley Machine here and needs to be punished, or he crosses a line with his opponent and that guy retaliates in like kind…and the party gives its blessing because Crist started the nuclear war first.  Then, it’s mutually assured destruction time.

Crist is so lucky that the Rubio campaign doesn’t seem to want to ever talk about The Green Iguana or Crist’s Katie Holmes/Kelly Preston/Phyllis Gates beard of a “wife”.

He is one lucky, lucky, orange queen.

The man should be a complete and utter laughingstock, unable to ever work in politics again.  But, for whatever reason, the GOP has decided not to take Crist down, and to allow him to take weird, some would say RAAACIST!, swipes at Rubio.

Why is Crist so fascinated by Rubio’s back, anyway?

Shouldn’t the Governor of Florida be focused on creating jobs for the people of his state and dealing with more important matters than wondering what Rubio looks like shirtless, supine, and arranged gingerly upon a table…awaiting either a waxing or a long, deep, baby-oiled massage?

We have a very good idea what Charlie Crist does in his office all day, and we bet it involves a copy of the new Levi Johnston Playgirl and copious amounts of baby oil of his own.  While his “wife”, Carole Rome, does her best Arianna Huffington impression, with or without an accent that makes her sound like a Helium-sucking clown.

Why do you think Crist is allowed to be an open-secret that takes such weird swipes at Rubio?

Crist could be taken down tomorrow if everything that’s out there about him was put into the open.

Why isn’t he taken down?

Does the GOP not want to touch “the gay thing” with a ten foot poll this year (correctly, in our opinion), so that the MSM can’t distract from jobs and the failed economy under Democrats?

Because, as we said, stuff like this “back waxing” would not be tolerated in a Democrat primary…not without Crist taking some counter hits of his own…because in Chicago there’s no high or low road, just State Street, that Great Street, running right through the Daley Machine.

Where someone as orange and fruity as Crist would be ground to a pulp and juiced for half the nonsense he’s pulled.