Archive for February, 2010
Thank you to the Ghost-to-Ghost Network
About 12 people will get this reference, but as boys we all loved the Three Investigators Mysteries. LOVED, as in all caps. Especially the ones where Alfred Hitchcock appeared, to mentor the three boy detectives who solved crimes out of a junkyard somewhere near the California coast. Sometimes, working on projects here at Buzzquarters, or hitting the road on the campaign trail and having other adventures here in Boystown, the lot of us feel a little like Jupiter Jones, Pete Crenshaw, and Bob Green, the Three Investigators.
One of the narrative tricks the writers of these books used to move the stories along was the “Ghost-to-Ghost” network, where the boys would employ a telephone tree to get an answer to a question or help solving a problem. The Investigators would each call 5 people, ask the question they needed answered, and then those five people had five others to call, and each of them had five others, and so on…with the tree expanding until someone out there, coast to coast, found the answer and called the Investigators back so they could solve the case.
This is pre-Internet, clearly, in the days when working on a report for school meant calling the library to talk to a reference librarian who could look something up in an encyclopedia for you if you couldn’t make it down to the library in person. It’s alien to remember those days, before computers, when knowledge and information was hard to come by.
It’s truly marvelous what the Internet has done. Instead of making use of a “Ghost-to-Ghost” network like the Investigators (so called because the boys would not know who all was part of the tree, or who would be calling them with the answer to the question), we can just run a post on any question we have or political mystery we need solved, and one of you out there, whom we will probably never meet in person, will have the answer for us, usually by the end of the day.
It’s a pretty incredible thing.
And, it’s a humbling and awesome tool we hope continues to grow in strength through the years, forever to be used in service of America and its best interests. Coast to coast. Ghost to ghost. Buzz to buzz, as it were.
The Left is much better at using technology to achieve its aims, but we have a feeling if conservatives, moderates, and independents continue to grow their own networks, share information, and form communities committed to rescuing America from socialism, that in the end we’ll overpower the radicals. Our network will become stronger than theirs, reach more people, and bring the Left down…like the two-bit thugs they most certainly are.
We just want to let you know how much we appreciate you all. We wish there was more time in a day to thank you personally, as individuals, and carry on more private correspondence and get to know more of you as friends, but we are very grateful for the potential HillBuzz has to fight hard for America in our own way.
Thank you. So very much. We’ll keep the lights on at Buzzquarters doing our part…if you keep up what you are doing in the dark in so many thousands of homes coast to coast.
Are we reaching the end of Hip Hop and Rap as dominant musical genres?
If celebrities record a song, but no one listens, are any of them still relevant?
We Are the World 25 For Haiti was a bomb, and not in the urban slang, “that’s da bomb” sort of way. Music critics panned the effort, calling it “oversung” and criticizing the almost overwhelming use of hip hop and rap artists, at the deliberate exclusion of country, rock, dance, Latin, and other genres. What made the original “We Are the World” special was that Tina Turner sang with Kenny Rogers, Michael Jackson was there with Lionel Richie and Diana Ross. Bette Midler, Kim Carnes, Billy Joel, Bruce Springstein, Ray Charles, the Pointer Sisters, Hall & Oates, Willie Nelson. Rock on. We’ll never forget the thrill when this song came out, or when we first saw the video on MTV and tried scribbling down all the famous faces we could spot, trying to figure out who all came together that day (with the colossal mistake on Madonna’s part for choosing not to be a part of this…then, and in 2010 too).
The remake for Haitian relief is just “meh”.
We’ve talked about this before, but this time around we didn’t know who 70% of the performers were. Out of the ones we did recognize, the few who excited us were Freda Payne, Janet Jackson, Tony Bennett, Mary J. Blige, Barbara Streisand, Celine Dion, and P!nk. We wish Beyonce, Madonna, Lady Gaga, the Dixie Chicks, Belinda Carlisle, Elton John, George Michael, Prince, and other random big names through the years had been invited…or accepted invites if asked.
We also wish the song had the same “coming together of the music industry” that the original had. Instead, this felt more like rappers and hip hop artists jamming, with random people like Streisand and Vince Vaughn wandering into the studio, perhaps thinking they were walking into a restaurant for dinner but were caught in an old Dick Clark/Ed McMahon TV’s Bloopers & Practical Jokes prank.
We remember Quincy Jones from the very beginning saying how he wanted this remake to be very “hip hop and rap heavy”, since he claimed this is the new “rock music” today. Jones believes hip hop and rap are the dominant musical forces in this country, but we’re not so sure that’s true anymore.
The MSM still claims this is true, but we’ve wondered for a long time if a rap nostalgia station would ever play well. It’s just not something we ever liked listening to, unlike songs from Motown, the 70s, the 80s, and all the other decades in various genres from rock to country to dance to pop. When all those old songs come on, we love getting up to dance, remembering great times hearing these songs. Do people do that listening to rap? All the swearing. All the yelling. All the anger. Do people have nostalgia over this?
Evidently, people didn’t care enough about hip hop or rap to make the remake of We Are the World a hit.
It debuted on the charts, then fell right off them. It was certainly not the cultural phenomenon the original was. This was a blip on the cultural radar. Hardly anyone talked about it.
We’re only talking about it now because it raises the question whether or not America’s entering a new phase, a new era, and the days of hippity hop and rap are ending, to be replaced in dominance by something else, the way these two genres eclipsed others for the last decade and a half or so.
Quincy Jones looks mighty out of touch with the flop of the We Are the World remake. We’ve seen clearly the television networks are suffering because the suits in their directive suites have no idea what the public wants to see anymore. Film stars aren’t as bankable these days as they once were, because the public just doesn’t have the loyalty to these people that it once did.
We don’t have a full picture of what’s going on, but it’s interesting that so many high-profile misfires have been happening lately in the entertainment, media, and political worlds. It’s as if the public is waking up from a long sleep, rejecting what’s been force-fed to them for so long, and those churning out the same old crap as always haven’t realized the public’s tastes are changing.
Have you noticed this too, or are we reading too much into the failure to launch of the We Are the World remake?
Was it just a bad song with a poor chorus, or is something bigger in play?
The Shakira Summit
Apparently, yesterday Miss Thang, our illustrious current president, met with singer Shakira in the White House, possibly in the Oval Office itself. It seems the two of them talked about the Jonas Brothers, speculated on which one of them’s “the gay one”, and debated for hours on “who was the cutest”. Rahm Emanuel kept interrupting the meeting, to put his two cents in, shouting “The Jonas Brothers aren’t f***ing s***, you f****ers! It’s all about Justin Beiber, you stupid r****** f***s! HE’S the cutest! How can you f***s not see that s***? You r******* f***s!!!”. Secret Service has to remove him from the Oval when he gets like that, his mouth all covered in spittle, his eyes bulging out of their sockets, Rahm in need of some major medication.
How do we feel about the current President of the United States, resting sprawled out on the floor in front of a big plasma TV, munching on popcorn with Shakira, talking about boys, laughing, giggling, and making fun of Rahm Emanuel for “being the only one in the whole West Wing who thinks Justin Beiber is cute”?
Honestly, we say bring more pop stars to the White House. Fill this man’s entire schedule with them.
Hell, move Tiger Beat’s offices to the Old Executive Building, where the bowling alley is now, and parade an endless stream of the latest flavors of the day before this president. He’ll feel like he’s back working at Baskin-Robbins, with so many sweet confections before him, and maybe that would keep him from getting up to any real trouble.
Like, say, tanking the economy so George Soros could make a fortune, with which Soros would then fund radical groups coast to coast in his bid to destroy the country.
Or, ramming through dangerous, poorly-written, unconstitutional legislation while shouting more of that YES WE CAN garbage.
Nope, we say bring Shakira for play dates more often. Invite P!nk, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, the Veronicas, Xtina, Ricky Martin, whomever is available to the White House for babysitting duties every day of the week.
Whatever can keep Miss Thang harmlessly entertained and distracted so he forgets about his mission from Soros is wonderful in our book.
Especially if the president and the pop stars keep going on about all the guys Rahm just HATES, so he gets all apoplectic trying to make his case for random castrati, and that keeps this Chief of Staff distracted and functionally unable to do anything bad to the country himself.
Oh, and isn’t it fun to make Rahm swear up a storm like that, especially knowing someday one of these tirades will give him a long-overdue stroke which could potentially put him into the retirement the nation waits for.
Send Dick Cheney A Get-Well Soon Postcard
We hope this is the right mailing address for former Vice President Dick Cheney (if it’s not please correct us).
It would be great if you sent Dick Cheney a postcard today, wishing him a speedy recovery, and thanking him for standing up for America and speaking out so much. We’re sure he’d appreciate it. And we know it’s going to surprise him if he ever sees our cards, coming as they are from a bunch of gay guys in Chicago who love and respect this man, whom we’ve only recently come to appreciate.
This country owes Cheney a lot for his service, so while he’s dealing with his latest heart-related ailment, we think he’d get a kick out of it if his staff told him postcards from around the country were pouring in wishing him well.
Really blow his mind and tell him Hillary supporters in Boystown told you to write to him. We think that would make him smile, and after all he’s gone through, he sure could use some smiles.
Oh, and tell him his daughter Liz needs to run for President in 2020 or 2024. Tell him it’s his job now to get her ready to be our second or third female president.
Here’s the address we found for him:
Former Vice President Dick Cheney
4205 West Greens Pl. Wilson WY 83014
Remember, postcards are easy to screen in the mail process, so they are the best chance of getting through quickly…and they’re fun because you can choose a nice one representing your city, so Cheney would get all these great shots of America headed his way, cheaply and quickly, to wish him well.
Mattel hires Claire McCaskill to test new "Puppy Tweet" collar tag
Claire McCaskill's Chief of Staff, Jane Putipon, looks on in disgust as Claire Bear does her "Senatoring" under her desk in her office. H/t Seapea
Toy manufacturer Mattel, most famous for Barbie, but most relevant to us for the line of furry-underpants clad muscle dude He-Man figures our parents all insisted we play with (instead of watching Jem & the Holograms cartoons) so that we wouldn’t grow up to be gay (whoops), has apparently hired Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill to test its new “Puppy Tweet” collar tag which, when worn on animals, Tweets owners what the animal is doing or saying.
McCaskill was a natural test subject because of her known love of Tweeting, and the inane, simplistic, rudimentary content of said Tweets.
“That snow tastes yucky.”
“I see a big truck. That truck sure is big. I wants to ride it!”.
“How many sammiches can I has? ALL OF THEM? Oh, I like being Senator, ’cause I gets the SAMMICHES!”.
According to the most trusted source of journalism in the country, The National Enquirer, on page 18 of the March 1st issue (oooh, it’s from the future!), the “Puppy Tweet” tag is a device to be worn on animals that broadcasts to a USB receiver plugged into your computer (what McCaskill calls, “the no-touch thing on my desk that Lady says I break when I spill stuff on it”). Animal activity triggers the “Puppy Tag” to send automatic tweets to Twitter.
When the puppy is sleeping, it Tweets: “Some days it feels like my paw is permanently on the snooze button”. If the animal’s running, the device will Tweet about chasing trucks or trying to catch a squirrel or something. Apparently, the device will cost about $30, so Mattel wants to know how well it works before it sends it into production.
“I gots to wear this thing on my neck, see,” McCaskill apparently told a staffer in her Senate office building. “That’s ’cause I’m an experiment! Lady said they needed more ‘puters ’cause I brokes them all, so she called up Mattel, and that’s the people that makes my Barbies I play with under my desk with all my trucks I got from those Marines at Christmas. ‘Cause I’m a Senator! Mattel said if I wore this and saw if it could do my Tweets for me, that they’d pay me some buckaroos and the Lady said she’d use those money to buy some waterproof ‘puters so I can’t spill my juice on them no matter how hard I try. So, I’m wearing this thing, see. And it’s been Tweeting for me, and it has been so good! My Tweets are the best Tweets, better than any dog’s. I’m proving it!”.
Surprisingly, no one in the Senate is upset with McCaskill’s money-making scheme, with the majority noting this will not only improve her Tweeting on Twitter, but will be a more effective use of her time, and taxpayer money, than normal.
“Dogs can’t be Senators, but Senators can Tweet like dogs now!,” McCaskill shouted from her window to passing tourists from Wyoming, recently. ‘I’m the Senator, and I got a window to yell from, see! Go on Twitter and see if my collar says I’m yelling now!”.
“Got my head out the window like a lunatic making a fool of myself again”, McCaskill’s Twitter account noted.
Mattel, it looks like you’ve got a bone-ified winner with this “Puppy Tweet” collar.
McCaskill-tested, Claire Bear-approved!
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NOTE: Claire McCaskill, bless her sammich-clogged heart, inspired us to get on Twitter too. All of our posts are autoposted on Twitter, so if you follow us there, you’d get a notice when something new goes up here on the site.
It’s pretty cool.
So friend us on Twitter and get updates: http://twitter.com/HillBuzz
Question: Would you ever celebrate anyone being sick or say you'd dance on his grave?
One of the most genuinely awful people we have ever known in life is David’s mother, Louella. David is Sebastian’s ex, and the two of them lived together for three years. Louella worked some scheme every day to drive a wedge between them and split them up. Mostly, she’d read backwards from dusty books in a crooked tower in the woods back in Richmond Heights, Ohio, splitting small animals open and using their entrails to draw voodoo pictures of what she wanted to happen to Sebastian so that David would leave him. Sometimes, she’d come to Chicago on a makeshift chariot pulled by demons, and the lot of us would smell the smoke and brimstone from miles away. ”Is something burning? Did Oprah fart? Great Merciful Zeus, that smells like a lake of sulphur dumped on a mountain of feces. SWEET HERA, Louella’s on the move!”.
Recently, after a roughly two year absence from our lives, David suddenly reappeared here in Boystown, and we now run into him quite frequently. It was awkward at first, because he did a lot of bad things to Sebastian (including repeatedly cheating on him, then lying about it, and going the extra step of constantly denying it so we had to exhaust our detective skills constantly PROVING to Sebastian that David was cheating, which got as tiresome and predictable as a late-80s Aaron Spelling buddy-cop show). But, after a few encounters, all of us can say hello to David, stop and chat, and wish him well in all his endeavors.
On one of these run-ins at Sidetracks, we bumped into David in Glass Bar and he told us his mother, Louella, isn’t doing well and is most likely in the early stages of Alzheimers. Whatever you think of a someone, and no matter how terrible that person was to you, we can’t think of a worse thing you can do than to wish Alzheimers on them, or to be happy about that person being robbed of all her memories and reduced to vegetable status. If you ever take any joy in this, you are as bad as the people who wish gays get AIDS. We’re on the receiving end of that curse and hate all the time around here, because we do not support “The Lightbringer” and his hopeychangey presidency. So, Obama’s supporters tell us they hope we get AIDS and die gruesome deaths in the near future. The sooner the better.
We can’t imagine a scenario where any of us would wish a disease on anyone…not even the people who libel us, attack us, and wish AIDS upon us. Life is short people. You get one shot on your decades-long stint on this little rock spinning third from the blazing sun. Whatever you think happens at the end of this life is your personal choice, but those of us here believe there are powers of Good and powers of Evil in the universe, and we’d like to stay always on the side of angels.
We oppose people we do not like, but we never hate them. We oppose the current president and his “fashion icon” wife. We oppose very Democrat in the Senate currently. We oppose the DNC with all our hearts. But, we hate none of these people and do not wish them ill health. We want them out of office, but we do not want them sick or dead.
It breaks our hearts that Louella is passing into Alzheimers. She is a terrible woman filled with hate for many people. She made Sebastian’s life a living and true Hell and was as rude to the rest of us as anyone we’ve ever met. She was the basis for Disney’s Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty, for good reason. But, even she doesn’t deserve Alzheimers. No one does.
We remember back in the early 90s when it was announced President Ronald Reagan had that awful disease. We remember Democrats cheering for that, saying Reagan was going to get what he deserved. We also recall numerous essays on how wonderful it was that Reagan would soon be reduced to diapers, unable to read or write, unable to speak, and would die drooling in a hospital bed somewhere, undignified and zombified. It was horrible. We took no part in this.
When Reagan died in 2004, we went to Washington and lined up and passed by his coffin…not because we supported him, and at the time we hated Republicans and wanted nothing to do with them, but honestly, we felt bad for the things our fellow Democrats said about the man, so we went there to Washington to not only be part of a historic moment, but to carry a few apologies for how Democrats behaved. We also hoped to catch site of or meet Mrs. Reagan, but we never saw her or anyone we recognized from the administration. In high school, we went to Jackie Kennedy and Richard Nixon’s funerals too, and we went to see President Ford at his Library in Michigan when he passed. Whether we like someone or not, we tend to pay our respects for those who served this country. We sincerely hope the Obamas one day give us something nice to say about them, too, many years from now when we go to Washington to see them in state when they pass. We tried HARD to find something nice to say about Ted Kennedy after his passing, and we have to admit that he was not a royal when it came to his constituents, all of whom, to a person, said he was responsive to their needs…no matter how bad his personal behavior was.
So, all that said, we’re shocked beyond words today to read the vitriol and venom the Left is flinging at a hospitalized Dick Cheney (and Bob Dole, too) today.
The Daily Kos, the Democratic Underground, and the other hateful sites run by Obama’s supporters are cheering Cheney’s illness, wishing for his painful death. They want to dance upon his grave and urinate on his tombstone. That’s a direct quote, folks.
There is something seriously, permanently, and dangerously wrong with the American Left. These people are evil in the way the Nazis were real. The cruelty they show towards other human beings has only been seen sporadically in history, most recently in radical Islam, and before that in the beer halls and bunkers of Berlin in the 30s and early 40s. It’s no wonder the Left jumps to the side of Islam time and again: jihadists and Leftists are cut from the same burkas.
If you can stomach it, follow the link above and read what these people are saying about Cheney.
How can we get regular Americans to see the Left for what it is — people who cheer and laugh when another human being is sick…people who want to dance on graves, mutilate corpses, and urinate on headstones.
It’s sick.
This is Obama’s base. These are the people who love him more than anything and who shouted HOPE! and CHANGE! the loudest in 2008.
This is what they believe in.
Do regular, non-poltical reading Americans realize this?
Would you ever celebrate anyone being sick or say you’d love to dance on that person’s grave?
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Tuesday Open Thread: February 23rd, 2010
What’s on your minds today?
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We’re working with the talented Seapea to create an image to use for Dr. Utopia going forward, whenever we need an illustration of him. We want to capture his essence, and his true nature. We also want to capitalize on, and capture, the energy the new Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland is going to unleash upon the public’s imagination next month. The Queen of Hearts, in the trailers, behaves a great deal like our effeminate, narcissistic, socialist, current president, who seems himself as more queen and dictator than elected servant of the people.
The piglet “The Queen of Farts” is holding still needs work. Our goal is to make it look like Dr. Utopia grabbed a pig from one of his pork projects, took some garbage his followers left on the National Mall, and tried to turn the pig into a unicorn.
We’re thinking a roll of toilet paper for a horn, and duct tape or a stapler used to stick the “horn” on the “pig-a-corn”.
This is our way of satirizing all of Utopia’s many HopeyChangey promises. ”See, I said I was gonna give you all unicorns, so here’s your damn unicorns. Now, can I just eat my waffles or what? Chante, sashe, chante, chante, chante!”.
This is how we plan on breaking the shell of his cult of personality in the next two years: to break down the hipster-cool image the MSM manufactures for him and show him as the second-rate, petulant drag queen he really is at heart.
Any ideas on how to improve the image, to get it perfect? Remember, we want to use this in lots of pieces in the future, as a stock, standard image we’d run for Dr. Utopia, who’s quickly morphing into Miss Thang, and might need a permanent, fabulous name change too.
What think you?
Behold the awesomeness that is Seapea art:
Our president, and all he has wrought.
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H/t Redstate for this: Demon Sheep II
Have you ever read "Daughter of Persia" by Sattareh Farman Farmaian?
A must read. Trust us.
Possibly, we’re thinking of her today because we went to Reza’s for lunch on Saturday (all you can eat Persian buffet with all the kebobs, the shirazi salad, hummas, and all sorts of other Persian goodies), but we wonder if you have ever read the excellent book “Daughter of Persia” by Sattareh Farman Famaian?
She’s the daughter of a Persian prince who grew up in opulence, lost everything in the revolution, and started a school for social work in Iran before moving to the United States and lecturing on women’s rights and resistance to militant Islam.
In college, one of us was assigned the book in a political science class, and one of the essay assignments was to write about what Sattareh would think of several questions the teacher posed. So, we wrote to Sattareh herself, on a lark, and asked her the questions, not thinking she would ever respond. But, she did…answered every one of them…and it made for one of the best essays we ever wrote in college. The professor didn’t believe it was really her, and was shocked we were able to get through like that. But, if people have a contact button on their website, and they do public speaking, chances are they’ll write back to you if you are nice to them. Especially people who aren’t necessarily inundated with fan mail by the public at large. Old movie stars and retired politicians write back quite often (Claudette Colbert, in the early 90s, was especially penpal-receptive). Same with authors of books published a while ago. Try it…you’ll be surprised who you hear from. Most of these people are very nice, especially the ones with stories to tell as remarkable as Sattareh’s.
It’s sad, but her website has not been updated in five years regarding her speaking engagements, so perhaps she’s passed away and her Wiki bio has not been updated yet. That’s a shame because she’s someone we would have liked to have met — at Reza’s for lunch, especially — to hear more of her life’s story.
Seriously, people, it’s like Gone With the Wind in Iran, where Scarlett was smarter, had more morals, was more beautiful, and faced down the forces of true evil in the form of the Ayatollahs. It was the most riveting and exciting book we ever read for any class in all of our years in school.
Like we said, we have no idea why we had this sudden urge to tell you about this book today, but when something like this happens, and there’s an energy to write something, we do. Maybe you are meant to read this book right now for some reason, to give you a better picture of the people of Iran.
The REAL Iranians…not the Ayatollahs and religious nuts. The real Persians, not the lunatic fundamentalists in charge over there.
If you’ve read “Daughter of Persia”, chime in here with your thoughts, especially if you have an update on what Sattareh’s doing now, especially since we very much hope she is still with us, speaking somewhere.
If you haven’t read it yet, please add it to your reading list. You won’t be sorry.
The newest horseman of the GOP apocalypse: Mitch Daniels
Now, Mitch Daniels is being put forward as the favored cucumber-and-mayonnaise boring white guy the GOP should run to lose to Dr. Utopia in 2012.
That makes him the latest in the string of destined losing GOP 2012 nominees, all of whom the media cheerleads so that Dr. Utopia can be guaranteed a second term.
We’d love to focus this thread on collecting the history of these Horsemen, so that we can create a graphic that shows what’s going on, and keep a running list of all the MSM’s attempts to game the 2012 nomination on the GOP side.
Starting November 4th, 2008, the MSM has been pushing the following people to be the GOP’s next nominee:
(1) Bobby Jindal – semi-retired as Horseman post-awful performance in rebuttal to Dr. Utopia’s 2009 Address to Congress
(2) Tim Pawlenty
(3) Charlie Crist – will be retired as Horseman once Marco Rubio defeats him in GOP Florida primary
(4) Mitt Romney
(5) Mark Sanford – retired as Horseman when he imploded post-affair and missing person scandal
(6) Haley Barbour
(7) John Thune
(8) John Huntsman
(9) Bob McDonnell
(10) Mitch Daniels
(11) Mike Huckabee – retired as Horseman because of his pardons as Arkansas governor, which included the man who went nuts in Washington state and killed several policemen
Are we missing anyone?
It would be interesting to create a timeline that we could graph, showing the ups and downs of these Horsemen. Which ones did the MSM push which week? Mitch Daniels is clearly the Horseman the memo’s gone out to push this current week. Who was last week’s? Thune? Romney? Who will be next week? More Pawlenty?
To be honest, all of these guys are so interchangeably dull and boring (with the exception of Barbour, who is actually kind of fun to listen to sometimes) that it’s hard to tell them apart sometimes. Jindal, Crist, Sanford, and Huckabee are at least interesting to watch…though they all have a doughnut’s chance in Oprah’s pantry of ever making it to the Oval Office for anything other than a school-sponsored field trip from the University of Cucumbers and Mayonnaise. Since the Electoral College won’t send these men there, they’d have more luck with an imaginary alma mater. Cucumbers and mayonnaise for everyone!
Here’s what we need help with: we know the MSM is deliberately interfering with the GOP 2012 nomination. We know they need to be stopped. We believe the DNC and Organizing for America is advising the MSM which boring white men (or oddball Indian, in the case of Jindal) to push each week, so that Republican voters turn against Sarah Palin — who is the one person on the scene we believe is guaranteed to defeat Dr. Utopia in 2012.
We can’t do much to help Palin, as we’re just a bunch of amateur writers in Boystown. BUT, we do have all of you out there, so we’ve potentially got thousands of pairs of eyes to keep watch on what the MSM is doing. If we can pull together these resources, and build an accurate and constantly updated timeline and chart of what is going on, maybe, JUST MAYBE, we can wake Republicans up to how the DNC games their nomination…so that, FOR ONCE, Democrats don’t get to run against the Republican they want most think they can beat.
It’s time for us to start to evolve from guys who just randomly snark about politics, to guys who find a way to clearly articulate a battle plan to stop the bad things we see the DNC doing. It’s an evolution for us. It’s going to be hard. But, it’s important to do everything we can to throw a wrench in the DNC machine’s plan to award Dr. Utopia that second term.
We hope you all evolve from being regular readers of snark into a research army unparalleled in the political world. Together, we could all make things happen that alone we’d never be capable of.
One of those things has to be to stop the nomination of people like Tim Pawlenty, Mitch Daniels, Mitt Romney, or other guaranteed losers to Utopia. We think the surest way to do that is to make it clear these men are being propped up and pushed by the DNC, through its mouthpiece, the American media.
How can you help us do this?
$2 bills are not rare and you should spend them like any other bill
There is no shortage of $2 bills. Honestly. Trust us.
Today, we had an interesting adventure with $2 bills here in Boystown.
Sebastian is very fond of $2 bills, and always asks for them when getting change at the bank. Banks are always happy to give them to him, since most people don’t want them, for whatever reason. ”I like them because they take up half the space in my wallet as ones do, and I think they’re the best looking bills we have. The painting of the Founders on the reverse is gorgeous, and I like leaving these as tips in bars because that’s a great way for bartenders to remember me. When they remember you, you get your drinks faster, and they’re stronger.”
Well, it’s amazing, but some people don’t think $2 bills are real, and others think they’re too rare to ever spend.
Do you know the last time $2 bills were printed was in 2006…and that over 200 million of them were printed? When those are used up, more will be printed. As long as there is a republic. So, as long as we can keep Dr. Utopia (or, Miss Thang, if you prefer), from voiding the constitution and declaring the First Utopian Empire, we’ll never run out of $2 bills.
Today at a gas station, Sebastian tried to use a pair of $2 bills to buy a vanilla Coke and the cashier looked at the money and said it wasn’t real. She wouldn’t take it. Panda was no help, agreeing with the cashier, saying “I’ve never seen those. I think those are fake.” We love Panda to death, but man alive, sometimes the guy just doesn’t help.
A woman behind us in line backed Sebastian up and said “Yes, those are real. But they’re worth a lot of money, don’t spend them”.
“But, I want to spend them. They’re currency. They’re for spending”.
“Well, then I’ll take them from you. I’ll give you $10 for them. Here,” she said, waving a ten in front of Sebastian and taking the twin $2s out of his hand. He tried to tell the woman they weren’t worth more than $4, but she wouldn’t listen. ”Oh, I know what these are worth, I saw it on TV. They’re worth a lot, so I’m glad to have them,” the woman insisted.
Just to be sure, as soon as we got back to Buzzquarters we double-checked and Sebastian is right: $2 bills are worth $2. Each $2 bill is the equivalent of two $1 bills. Five $2 bills equal a $10 bill. So, that woman traded Sebastian one orangey-yellow new Alexander Hamilton for a pair of 2006 Thomas Jeffersons…winning Bast a $6 unexpected, and unwanted, profit.
“They still don’t look real,” Panda kept muttering as we walked down Halsted, “but they would be cool to leave as tips. I bet people would collect them and never spend ‘em. To me, they’re boring to collect because who cares about that stuff, but some people are boring, so more power to them.”
