Archive for February 25th, 2010
Have you heard about Shakespeare's Treasure Map?
Here’s something that’s just pure fun.
In addition to politics, we also monitor the entertainment and pop culture worlds, mainly so we can make relevant quips on politics using pop culture references. One of the things we think the nuns who taught us in school were wrong about was ignoring the entertainment world. They never had a clue what the kids in their classes were talking about, didn’t know what the current movies or musical acts were all about, and couldn’t fully relate the importance of what they were teaching to 10 year olds, because in many ways they did not speak our language. We can’t ever be cloistered into one subject, no matter who we are. Even if you live in an actual cloister.
But, considering that’s the only bad thing we can say about our nuns, you know we think the world of the sisters who worked so hard to get us to where we are today. Considering we live in Boystown, are gay, and get up to all sorts of adventures, printable and private, we’re sure they’re oh so proud.
But, in our search for knowledge of all types, we ventured over to AintItCool.com today and saw an interesting post on Shakespeare’s Treasure map, a story we had never heard about, but which is apparently huge news in Europe.
Here’s what AintItCool had to say:
These are introductions to the new Norwegian documentary-series “Sweet Swan of Avon”. A Norwegian discovers secret codes in Shakespeares first folio, on his tombstone and on his statue in the church where he is buried. To make a long story short: In the end he discovers an amazing treasure-map in Shakespeares works, which leads him to the famous “treasure island” – Oak Island – in Nova Scotia, Canada.
This series has created quite a buzz in Norway. This is an fantastic Indiana Jones story the world needs to experience, and I belive Emmerichs movie will be quite dull compared to this true story.
Hope You find this interesting!
Here are the clips they posted:
Now, AintItCool.com is very Leftist, very anti-woman, very anti-Hillary and anti-Palin in particular, but this Shakespeare’s Treasure map business sure is interesting. So, we see value in checking out what’s going on in places that we don’t necessarily embrace or want to be a part of…but we think we benefit from what’s going on in their world, and can take the best of what they are offering and add it to our own stuff.
Just like the nuns could have been doing in the 80s, keeping up with Cyndi Lauper and Rick Astley or whomever, just so they could weave just enough pop culture into their lectures to show the kids they were relatable, engaged, and part of the world they lived in.
Just saying.
We’re fascinated to learn more about this “Sweet Swan of Avon” project. It feels, at first blush, like everything The Da Vinci Code was supposed to be, but wasn’t, in terms of actual suspenses and something we could get excited over.
We love mysteries and treasure hunts and solving riddles.
Detroit Mayor Wants to Shrink City. Because that worked out so well for Kandor.
The only halfway logical and realistic solution for Detroit's endless problems: shrinking.
Here’s one of the more absurd things we’ve heard in a while: Detroit Mayor Bing Emphasizes Need to Shrink City.
The Mayor says shrinking Detroit “won’t be easy”, but he’s seen things like this done before on television, so knows it must be possible. ”If we don’t do it, you know this whole city is going to do down. I’m hopeful people will understand that,” Bing said, clutching a large bell jar he intends to place over Detroit, post-shrinking, “so no bad bugs can get inside and eat people”.
“We’re only going to have teeny little good bugs inside the city when we shrink it, though all the people will be teensy too, so these bugs will be the size of cows. I heard about these bugs called aphids that sound nice, and we can use them like cows for milk and food once we are tiny and the city is shrunk. That will be nice. Someone told me we should just shrink real cows if we are shrinking everything else, but I don’t know if we have the technology for that, yet. I’ll get back to you on that one.”
Community activist Hilda Startizzle is opposed to Mayor Bing’s plan to shrink Detroit, saying she is “adamantly opposed” to what she calls “the damn stupidest thing I have heard anyone say since they were chanting Hope! and Change! two years ago like zombified fools!”.
Startizzle insists “there’s no such thing as a shrinking ray” and that Mayor Bing “has done lost his mind”.
The Mayor’s staff recently conducted a months-long study that determined Detroit is “a 139-square mile city” that is “terrible”. According to that study, shrinking Detroit would turn it into a roughly 36-square inch city, enclosed in glass, that would be “1/3 less terrible than it is now”. Even if “bad bugs” get in and “eat people”.
Mayor Bing said he was inspired by the initiatives of the Obama Administration in planning to shrink the city, saying “Detroit is really venturing into a new frontier, and it’s all being driven by Hope and Change. The president is a Lightbringer sent from the stars who has brought us all the new technology we need to lower the oceans, fix people’s broken souls, and become the change we had been waiting for when we didn’t know we were waiting for anything. So, I figure he could invent a shrinking ray too, in his spare time, because then Detroit could be moved to the Smithsonian or someplace and everyone would live happily ever after just like those people Superman takes care of. Better yet, Detroit can go on a shelf in the Oval Office and President Obama can take care of all of us, can feed us and clothe us and love us. We’re all Obama voters in Detroit. He said he would solve all our problems. What better way to do that than to keep us all as his pets and he can watch over us like the god we in Detroit believe him to be. Hope! Change! Shrink us, oh mighty Lightrbinger!”.
Madness.
A Weird Todd Palin Dream From Last Night
Now, considering this is Boystown, don’t get too excited. While we’ve never had any erotic dreams about Todd Palin, we’d never share them if we did. It’s disrespectful to him, and we’re not the kind of gay guys who think it’s funny to make straight dudes uncomfortable by objectifying them. Todd Palin is a stone cold fox, which we can note the same way we think Linda Evangelista, in her day, was an absolute goddess. We’d never want to do anything more with either of them than get an autograph and a picture for the wall here at Buzzquarters. MAYBE we’d want to go snowmachining with Todd, because that sounds like it would be awesome, but we’d each have our own snowmachines and he’d be the snowmachine guide. Hopefully across the White House lawn come January 2013.
It’s probably because we felt bad for Todd that his partner was injured and they had to drop out of this year’s Iron Dog race in Alaska (which was hit by some of the worst conditions in the race’s history), so he’s been on our minds, but last night one of us had a dream featuring Todd that was interesting.
It was in the future, at a campaign event somewhere Midwestern, maybe Iowa, in 2011. Todd was backstage and various consultants were telling him this and that, and he wasn’t having any of it. Then, some PR person gave Todd a schedule of things he had to do, and they were all seminars on protocol and event planning and other East Wing types of things. Apparently, his area of focus is going to be Physical Fitness, so people were talking about the exercise and “Get Outdoors!” program Todd was going to be the face of when he becomes First Gentleman.
Why one of us was there to witness this, we don’t know, but he walked over to Todd and told him to listen to the team, because all the previous First Spouses (save one), had listened to advisors and gone to these classes so they could represent America well and make good use of their time in the East Wing. Todd grumbled, but agreed in the end that he had to do it, and would learn how to run all the events at the White House well.
One of us left Todd saying, “You’re going to be a great First Dude, and you’re going to get kids to want to unplug from the TV and video games and get outside and have some real fun”.
That was it.
But as we talked about the dream at lunch today, we all realized what a tremendous boost Todd Palin would give to scouting, outdoor activities, exercise, camping, etc. when he becomes First Dude. He’s going to become an excellent role model for boys and men across the country.
It’s ironic the current First Lady has directed her attention towards childhood obesity, while turning a blind eye to the obesity she’d confront if she really looked at herself in the mirror. It’s hollow for anyone to go out and tell people they should eat healthy, not snack on doughnuts, and get out and exercise when she clearly doesn’t do any of that herself. If she needs the photoshop team at Vogue to look presentable on a magazine cover, she needs to address ADULT obesity and use herself as the case study for what NOT TO DO, instead of holding her daughters up as “chubby” and berating the children of strangers for following in the First Lady’s own footsteps.
With the Palins, everything they do is genuine. Everything Todd would do as First Dude would resonate because he would not pick a cause that doesn’t come naturally to him, which he has not embraced his whole life. Why the sudden interest in childhood obesity now, Michelle? Haven’t you been the one raising your daughters this whole time? Haven’t you been supervising their diet and exercise? If they are chubby, as you call them, then whose fault is that? Why should you be telling other parents their kids are too fat when you say your own are so chubby? What was it you said during the campaign about people who aren’t able to keep their own houses in order?
We don’t think we’ll have any more hypocrisy like this come 2013.
Instead, we’ll have outdoorsy awesomeness.
Courtesy of stone cold fox Todd Palin.
Dubai Aquarium cracks, almost floods shopping mall with giant sharks
There is nothing to see here! Delete your cameras! Dubai is a City of Wonders!
We’ve told you before that Robby’s sister, Ann-Louise, is fascinated by all things Dubai, and has been using it in cocktail conversation for years, forever telling people Dubai is where she’ll finally get to star in a TV show (once all the studios are built), Dubai’s where she’ll live like a princess and never have to pay for anything again (because she’ll marry some sheik), and Dubai’s where all of her dreams will come true (with her chief dream, as always, being to never work again and have everything done for her). ”It’s my playland,” she says, “the place I just know is meant to be home. While I love New York, I ADORED Dubai”.
She has, of course, never actually been there.
She gets all her news from old Vanity Fairs and other Conde Nast publications she reads while waiting for Momi or Katya for a cut and color at Miani Viel off Park Avenue, nibbling on croissants, drinking mimosas while 90% of the country’s hard at work. ”Dubai! Dubai! Dubai! It’s GLORIOUS!”. All the fops in the salon agree with her, as they dart here and there to fetch her more chocolate for her croissant or orange juice for her mimosa. ”Orange juice is yucky. Just skip to the champagne. When I live in Dubai, I’m going to bathe in champagne. Champagne will come out of the faucets, and I will just pull an ivory lever and Veuve Clicquot will rain down on me in a golden shower”.
<< snort >>
If you lived in Boystown, you’d know why it’s roll around on the ground hilarious every time Ann-Louise starts waxing poetic about her champagne-induced golden showers in Dubai.
Frightening she thinks Dubai is a Wonderland, but funny, after having a gay brother for, oh, over 20 years, and surrounding herself almost exclusive with gay dudes in New York, she’s picked up on so little of the lingo.
Ann-Louise is a slow-learner, though.
She’s not alone, apparently, because whoever’s building all of the giant, enormous, largest-in-the-world, champagne-covered oddities in Dubai apparently hasn’t learned how to build anything properly.
In a horrifying chain of events that would make a GREAT disaster movie on SyFy, Dubai built a giant shopping mall (the world’s largest!) that was wrapped in a giant aquarium (the worlds largest!). We’ve told you before that all the building projects in Dubai used imported slave labor from Pakistan, India, and various Asian countries. The men were tricked into coming to Dubai because they were promised they’d make, in one week, what they’d earn in a whole year back home. So, the Muslims in Dubai got all the labor they wanted. The poor flocked to Dubai in droves, giving the Muslims the pick of only the strongest, youngest, and most desirable men (which seems to be quite often their preference in many ways). Once these laborers crossed the border into the United Arab Emirates, their passports were confiscated, their personal items were removed from them, and they were sent to live in shipping crates hobbled together in labor camps until their bodies gave out or the mammoth Dubai construction projects were finished — whichever came first.
Dubai refused to pay these workers.
Dubai refused to let them go home.
Dubai enslaved these men to build, on the cheap, all of the marvels that fascinate Ann-Louise Melton.
We’ve told you before that we firmly believe the Burj Khalifa, the current tallest building in the world, is going to collapse within 10 years. It’s already started falling apart. We think it was so shoddily built that it’s a danger in and of itself…but we can’t imagine men enslaved to build it would strengthen its structural stability. If you had to live in a hot shipping crate, and you weren’t being paid for your work, and you weren’t allowed to go home, would YOU do a good job fastening rivets so your slave-master’s Tower of Babel doesn’t fall down? The Muslims didn’t seem to think about that.
The Dubai Aquarium Mall is perfect self-parody. Why build a mall inside an aquarium? Because we can! We are Dubai! City of Marvels!
Just imagine the horror of all inside as the seams in the acrylic start to pop and salt water floods the Gucci and Prada-strewn marble corridors of the mall…where giant sharks swimming overhead look down at the tasty morsels scurrying away from the water.
There is still nothing to see here! Don't take any pictures!
What’s interesting is that Dubai’s police arrived on scene not to help the people in harm’s way, but to protect Dubai’s image. Read the article linked above. Look towards the bottom at what the police were doing as they arrived. They confiscated cell phones and cameras and made people delete all pictures of the aquarium breaking and flooding the mall. When the tank burst, someone came over the loudspeakers and told everyone to run for their lives because the sharks were coming and the aquarium had “exploded”.
But, as soon as police eliminated all the evidence, the Ministry of Propaganda stepped in and said, “Oh, no, there was no explosion. All the sharks are swimming nice and are smiling. Someone spilled a large glass of delicious date juice on the floor and then a small child thought it had come from the tank, and that is why people thought there was a problem. That child has been killed and will make no more problems for Dubai. Anyone who contradicts this cheery assessment of things and perpetuates the story that the tank burst will join that child on the garbage heap. This is Dubai, City of Wonders! Press conference ended. Get back to work”.
James Madison Saved Us All
Here’s a great piece by George Will, which talks briefly about an interesting phenomenon we’re observing these days: Leftists going absolutely out of their minds crazy because the Constitution does not allow them to force their radical agenda upon a continental nation of private citizens who do not want socialism to rule over them.
The Left is screeching and writhing because it’s come as close as it will ever get to its goals of destroying the country and remaking it in the image of failed European states.
Will notes that presidents Reagan, Clinton, and Bush were able to accomplish so much more by working across the aisle than Dr. Utopia accomplishes by trying to force through his socialist agenda, while he yet enjoys the largest majority Democrats have had in decades.
Because of his poor performance and failed presidency, Democrats will lose that majority come November, and might not get it back for decades, so long as the public remembers what Leftists did in power when they took over the country in 2008.
But, as Will notes, the genius that created our Constitution scried deep into the future in great prescience, almost anticipating a day like today, when a madman sat in the White House and spineless, partisan loons held the majority in both chambers of Congress.
Thank you James Madison. Thank you George Will for thanking Madison. Thank you voters, in advance, for booting as many bums out in 2010 as possible.
No, it's not too early to start working on your Halloween costumes
We're going patriotic for Halloween 2010!
For Halloween 2010, we’re pretty sure we’re going to do a patriotic theme, since the election will be not long after that, and we’ll probably end up wearing the costumes around town to encourage people to vote. Because, face it, we love wearing costumes. We love America. And patriotic costumes can be worn during Tea Parties, the Fourth of July, PRIDE, and Market Days here in Boystown, too. Or, in Panda’s case, they can be worn on Thursdays.
Last Halloween, we did a mythological theme that went over like a gorgon at the ophidiophobics’ clinic. Or, more aptly, like that previous simile in normal conversation. Possibly, we were just a year ahead of our time, because once Clash of the Titans is released in April, the general public will know who Medusa, Pegasus, Perseus, etc. were, even if they can’t spell any of them. We were disappointed when walking around Boystown people asked, “Are you Cleopatra?”. ”Uh, no, I’m a man. I have snakes on my head, yes, but that’s because I’m a Mandusa…a male Medusa…Medusa’s kid brother, if you will. See the snakes writhing out of my scalp? Notice the complete and total absence of both Julius Ceasar and Marc Anthony anywhere in my vacinity?”.
“Ooh, Marc Anthony. I love his music. Whatever happened to him?”.
“Medusa got him”.
‘Who’s that?”.
We wish we were kidding. Seriously.
So, we’re going to go with something totally recognizable, fun, and this year, super-patriotic. We don’t know which Americana elements we’re going to use, but maybe a buff male Statue of Liberty (Sebastian), a George Washington or Thomas Jefferson, an Uncle Sam, a bald eagle, or maybe more oddball things like the Liberty Bell or US Capitol.
We’re gathering ideas (no drag, ever, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but we’re all-boy here, all the time), and since we make all our own costumes, it sort of takes forever.
We couldn’t resist sharing the shot above with you…from a GREAT site called Coolest-Homemade-Costumes, under their patriotic section.
We don’t think it’s a bad idea for everyone to have a patriotic outfit in the closet, since you never know when you might need one for a Tea Party. That way, you can be kind of like Batman, with your hero’s outfit always at the ready, but without the old man in a tux wandering around your house, and hopefully without a young ward in tights hiding out in your basement. Which was always kind of creepy of Batman, come to think of it.
"I thought this site existed already. It's called HillBuzz".
We have no idea if this was meant as a slap at us, or what, but we thought it was hilarious.
Because of all the pro-LGBTQ coverage Hot Air has been running lately, someone sent them a graphic for “the redesign of Hot Air”:
H/t Hot Air
In comments on that post, someone said the following:
“I thought this site already existed. It’s called HillBuzz”.
What’s really funny, and prescient, is that we really like the layout of this fake “Gay Air” site. We also wish one of us was a cartoonist, because we’d have a lot more art like this, and we love the purple. All that’s missing is our big 70s yellow logo and crudely rendered bee, and a touch more personality, and it’s kind of a glimpse into what we want the site to look like when we finally get onto a dedicated server and off WordPress.
We’re so taking the “It’s called HillBuzz” as a compliment.
The fact readers of a conservative site like Hot Air even have a bunch of gay Hillary Dems in Boystown, Chicago on their radar enough to crack jokes about us tells us we’re getting through to someone.
And that’s a pretty cool thing.
