Before Christmas, we told you about meeting a guy named Simon at Sidetracks here in Boystown.  He’s from Australia, and he’s a nationality expert.  But, to his credit, when he asked the “What nationality are you?” question to Sebastian, he accepted Bast’s answer of “American”, without further nationality expertism.  So, Simon redeemed himself for acknowledging no one presses him further when he says he’s “Australian”, so no one should press anyone who identifies as “American” further as to where dead ancestors from hundreds of years ago in Europe are buried.  If you are not an immigrant, have no immigrants in your family, and only have loyalty to the United States, and you love this country, and you see yourself as 100% American, then “nationality experts”, as we call them, have no business asking you, “no, where were your great-great-great-great grandparents from?”.  That’s not your nationality. that’s these lunatics’ personal racist obsession.

Well, Simon later un-redeemed himself by, out of the blue, launching into an attack on Sarah Palin that night we met him, which was strange because we never — as hard as this may be to believe — bring up politics when we go out.  Never.  Politics is what we write about here on this site. It’s what we talk about amongst ourselves when we are on the phone or hanging out at Buzzquarters.  It’s what we talk about if we go out to dinner and are at a big table together.  But, in a crowded bar, we’re talking about whether or not we think Lady Gaga has staying power (YES), the mess the city’s made of the transit system (BOO!), and how many hotties are out and about (few).  We go out to have fun.  Frankly, we deserve a break from talking about politics.  Life is short, we know we won’t always live in Boystown, and so we enjoy these nights out at Sidetracks the way older friends enjoyed their time at 54 or the Pump Room or wherever else they used to hang out with their friends and have a great time someplace iconic and of their moment.  In 2010, Chicago, Boystown, that place for us is Sidetracks, where many an adventure is had, and where absolutely no politics is discussed by us.

We stress this because when we told the story about Simon the first time, some of you in comments said something to the effect of, “Oh, just because he doesn’t like Sarah Palin, that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to him.  You’re judging him unfairly”.  Maybe this is hard for us to articulate, but it’s more than just “not liking Sarah Palin”.  Part of it is what we talked about in the last paragraph, about not wanting to get into politics with anyone when we are out to have a good time.  If someone LOVED Palin or wanted to talk about how much they love the Clintons (which is always a favorite topic of ours), we’d steer the conversation to something else, or suggest the person do a guest post for us on HillBuzz.  Because we just don’t want to spend our whole lives talking about politics.

The other part of it with Simon is that his hatred of Palin was clear, and hatred isn’t attractive on ANYONE.  We don’t like or support the current president and think even less of his wife.  But we don’t hate either of these people.  We mock them, because they are so full of themselves and so fawned over by the adoring MSM that they deserve to be mocked.  We work against them, because we believe their agenda is detrimental to this country.  But, we don’t hate anyone.  We don’t even hate the trolls and Kos Kids who attack us personally.  We will fight back.  We’ll take them to court if we have to.  We’ll make sure they can’t attack anyone else.  But, we don’t hate them.  Life is too short, and we just don’t have the energy to do everything else we do, and still find time to fire up the hate machine.

So, our stance on guys is this: if within the first few hours of knowing you, you manage to launch into a spirited two-minute hate on anything, chances are you are not a guy we want to know.

Simon proved a guy CAN actually recover from the “nationality expert” crap we detest (for those unfamiliar, it’s a Chicago thing where, as a qualifier to see either if you are worth dating or to try to figure out how much money you have, how much money your family has, or whatever, guys as “What’s your nationality?”…it’s like asking “what high school did you go to?” to figure out if someone is from the “bad part of town”…100% unique to Chicago, in our experience…where the acceptable answers are “Irish”, “English”, “Italian”, or limited other European options, but anything else gets a weird face made back at you). Simon asked it of Sebastian.  Sebastian answered “American”. To date, Simon’s the only guy who’s ever accepted that as an answer, and then moved on to other things to talk about.

So, good on him.

But, unfortunately, as noted, Simon decided to talk about how much he hates Sarah Palin, to which Sebastian noted, “Actually, see my friends here?  We’re going to work for Palin in 2012, and we’re getting everyone we know to do that too.  We love her”.  That made Simon launch into a tirade of what a b**** Palin is, how “stupid” and “crazy” she is, etc.  When pressed for backup on why she is a b****, why she is so “stupid”, and why she is so “crazy”, Simon just burbled.  See, Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, Anderson Cooper, Chris Matthews, and the rest don’t give REASONS for what they want their adherants to parrot…because that would be too complicated.  Simon gets all of his news from MSNBC or CNN, and all his views from the anti-Palin propaganda brigade.  He does not think for himself.  He has no idea why he hates Palin.  He just does, and gets blustery whenever he runs into a gay guy who does not feel the same way.

Well, as we told you a few months ago, Sebastian told Simon it was nice to meet him, but that he didn’t want to spend his evening listening to how much a stranger hates another stranger, a stranger who is the former governor of our largest state and will be our next president.

We have all gotten quite good, over the last two years, of extricating ourselves from the company of Simons, when they launch into these anti-Hillary or anti-Sarah two-minute-hates.

Well, we didn’t see Simon again until last night, and we needed to write up what happened so you can get a fuller picture of what we mean when we told you that it’s best not to keep talking to a guy once he reveals his hate for either Hillary or Palin, or other people we like.  This is something we have learned from experience:  if a guy is a diehard Olbermann-Matthews-Cooper type, and if he’s a total Obot, and if he says anything nasty about either Hillary or Palin in the first few hours of knowing him, there’s a good chance that hate runs much, much deeper, down to a truly dark place we don’t want any part of.  The mean age in our little group is 33.  That means we’ve each got give or take another 40 years on this planet, relatively tops.  We don’t want to waste any of that time sucked into anyone else’s churning, swirling, bottomless vortex of hate.

Simon got Sebastian’s number, somehow, and texted him after that encounter a few times.  Sebastian never texted back, because Bast doesn’t want anything to do with Simon…or any guy like him.  Last night, Simon came up to us in Sidetracks and went right for Bast, and asked why he never texted him back, and Bast told him that it was nice to meet Simon, that Bast hopes he’s enjoying living in Chicago, but that Bast has no interest in being Simon’s friend or anything more.

Bast was polite, as kind as possible, but clear and firm that he did not want to have anything to do with Simon.

“Is this because of that b****?  That filthy f****** c****?  Is that why you won’t talk to me, because of that filthy Alaskan b****?  That f****** b**** should be dragged outside and raped, and then maybe she’d be good for something.  That c****.”

People, this went on a good two minutes.

Pure hate.

Panda, who has a mouth like a sailor, actually blushed, himself never hearing so many expletives dropped in such a short time…and such vile ones coming out of Simon’s filthy mouth, to borrow a word he loves using against the Governor.

If we ran a transcript, word for word, of what Simon said about Sarah Palin, it would be mostly *********s, followed by more ********.  It would be illegible, because we won’t ever write language like that on a site children could read.  And we won’t lend any credence to these attacks on the Governor by putting her name in the same sentence with such words.

Simon the Australian is truly a vile and deranged man.

Sebastian stood there and let Simon scream all this, right in his face.  He stayed calm and cool, and occasionally drank some of his Pilsner, waiting for Simon to finish.  In Boystown, Bast has run into a few guys here and there who don’t like being turned down, get drunk one night, and then decide to berate Bast for not wanting to go out with them.  Simon’s good looking, tall, clearly has money, and is not used to being turned down.  So, there’s that, but the thing that really unhinged him was the fact that he was turned down because he said vile things about Sarah Palin.  His response, of course, is to come up to Sebastian and scream even more vile things about Palin to him.

As if that will suddenly make Bast like this guy.

That might be how Liza Minnelli solves her drinking problem, by just drinking more until she forgets she has a problem, but it’s not how best to handle a situation like this.

When Simon was red in the face and out of breath after railing on for a while about how he wanted to rape a former governor and our next president…and let us be CRYSTAL CLEAR, here and now, so we don’t get any assy comments from anyone later…HE CLEARLY SAID HE WANTED TO RAPE PALIN.  Simon.  Personally.  HE, a gay man, believes finding Palin at some undetermined juncture in the future, hitting her over the head caveman style, and dragging her “out back” to be raped by him, a gay man, is “what that c*** needs”.

It was so bad, Panda wasn’t revved up waiting for a “Julia Sugarbaker Moment” from Bast (what Panda calls the times Sebastian takes someone down, verbally, and puts him in his place…which Panda sometimes tries to goad into an actual punchout for the most deserving). Panda had his phone out and was seriously ready to call the cops, he thought Simon was so over the top dangerous.  It was flat-out crazy.

There are times in life when all of us feel like we channel Hillary Clinton, after watching her up close for so long on the campaign trail in 2008.  We saw all sorts of crazy people come out of nowhere on rope lines and say the most bizarre things.  People shouted at her here and there, said she was part of all sorts of insane conspiracies, and made up all sorts of lies.  These were all Obama voters, of course, as well behaved as they always are.

And you know what Clinton always did?  She stayed totally calm, didn’t let these people get to her, and just said, “Thank you for your opinion”, and moved forward.

She’s incredible.

And so was Sebastian, really, because once Simon huffed and puffed and revealed his darkest rape fantasies against Sarah Palin, Bast brought the situation under control, Hillary-style.

“Well, thank you for your opinions, Simon.  You certainly have a passion, but as I told you when I last saw you, I don’t think you and I are people who can be friends because I am a supporter of Sarah Palin’s.  I am saving up money, in fact, so that when she runs for president I can volunteer for her full time, go to every state if I  have to, and elect this woman president.  Now, you can disagree with me on this and we could still be friends.  I have lots of friends who don’t like Palin, or any Republican.  I am a Democrat who doesn’t like the current president.  So, these are odd times, and some of my Democrat friends don’t like that I support some Republicans, like Palin.  But, you know what Simon?  Do you remember what we talked about last time?  Do you remember when I told you what misogyny is?  That’s where a guy like you throws the words b****, c****, w****, and the rest around like they are nothing, just because you don’t like a woman.  So, you resort to gender and anatomy-based pejoratives, because you aren’t informed enough to argue policy points against a woman, so you just sexualize her and demean her and call her these words you know are harmful to women.  Simon, I just can’t be around someone who does this.  My friends are good guys.  We have better vocabularies than that.  And I just can’t imagine any of us ever talking about how much we want to rape anyone.  ANYONE.  Rape just does not enter my mind, no matter how much I don’t like someone.  So, seriously, I’m concerned about the anger that’s inside you that makes you want to rape someone.  Anyone.  It’s not healthy.  I know it’s not an Australian thing, because other Aussies I know don’t go out in public and call for the rape of private citizens.  So, I want you to think about heading down to the Center on Halsted on Monday.  They have counselors there that are free.  They might be able to help you work some of this out.  I, however, am not a counselor.  I’m just a guy with a beer that’s getting warm and friends I want to be hanging out with, so Simon I want you to have a good night, be safe, and enjoy Chicago, but I am telling you again that you and I are not going to be friends.  Please accept that.  I don’t want hard feelings or drama.  I just want to drink my beer and hang out with my friends and not hear any more about rape tonight, okay?”.

And with that, Sebastian walked closer to the rest of us, but never turned his back on Simon, just in case he lunged and tried to hit him with a bottle or something.  Two years dealing with the Obama crazies has made us painfully aware of their tendency to lash out with violence whenever they can’t express themselves through logic and reason.  This is what Obama meant when he said his followers need to always “get in people’s faces”.  Simon got that message loud and clear.

We all watched him carefully, and he was mighty, mighty drunk.  Bast talking to him so calmly, and being so diplomatic in his breakdown of misogyny and the rape fantasy Simon conjured, threw him for a loop.  Simon wanted a fight…and he’s got a good 50 pounds and four inches of height on Bast, so it’s a fight our guy would have lost, no matter how quick the bouncers could have gotten there.  Gay relationships are pissing contests for guys in lots of ways, and they are invariably mighty competitive on many levels.  The worst part of male-male relationships, in our experience, is the tendency for so many of them to get violent…much more than what you hear about domestic abuse in heterosexual relationships.  Two guys. Two bad tempers.  All of that upper body strength combined. All of that testosterone.  It leads to trouble more times than it should.

So, considering all of this, do you understand now why we eliminate the possibility of inviting a Simon into our lives at the first appearance of hate?

Great Merciful Zeus, the guy’s from Australia.  We can think of 1,000 cool things he could have talked about with us…telling endless stories about AUSTRALIA alone.  We could spend lifetimes talking about the wildlife of Australia alone, and never, ever, not in a million years get onto the topic of raping anyone.  So, we spot trouble, BIG TROUBLE, in a guy who can’t talk for a few minutes in a bar, to strangers, without mentioning how much he hates a woman.

Any woman.

Could be Hillary.  Could be Palin.  Could be Maya Angelou.

Whomever.

If one of the first things you choose to reveal about yourself is how much you hate someone else, then we’re sorry, but we don’t want to know you.  We have a lot of friends.  On this site, we get hundreds of emails a day.  We all work several jobs and know lots of people there.  At Sidetracks we know all the bartenders and staff and a good many of the customers.  So, we are not desperate to meet anyone new.  There isn’t a big NOW HIRING sign in our friendship department.  If you are cool, if you’re someone interesting, if you’re someone positive we think it would be fun to hang out with, then we’d love to meet you and talk to you.

Everyone who comes up to one of us starts off on that foot.  It up to each guy to then reveal himself to be someone we should all want to get to know…or, in the case of Simon, to NOT get to know.

For the sake of wrapping up last night, Simon got progressively more and more drunk, and wandered around the bar angry, occasionally giving Sebastian the stink eye.  We have a feeling this is not over, and the next time he gets drunk, he’s going to try to start something again.  So, on the way out, we told one of the bouncers what happened and just told him to put Simon on the watch list we know they have…of people known to get too drunk and start trouble.

It’s a really busy bar with something like 20 bartenders on duty every night.  So, it’s much easier to be overserved there than it is in a place like Cheers, where everybody knows your name, and it’s just Sam, Diane, Coach, or Woody keeping track of how out of your mind drunk you are, or how violent you can be.

Now, before anyone goes nuts in comments, we know that not ALL Obama supporters are as bad as Simon.  We know not all people who call themselves “Liberals” would get to the point he got, where he was so mad we support Palin that he launched into a very well-thought-out, prepared, rape fantasy about her.  But, easily, 90% of the Leftists we’ve known drop the b, c, and w words without any thought of how misogynistic they are.  99% of them have no idea what misogyny is, or how they’re poster children for it.

The Left, which has taken over the Democrat Party, is fueled mainly by hate and the politics of personal destruction.  We believe these people would indeed rape and even murder a political opponent if they could.  We also believe the MSM, in particular the anchors and commentators at MSNBC, rev this hate up.  Organizing for America, the DNC, ACORN, the SEIU, and the current White House count on this hate, and the thugs energized by it, to destroy all those standing in the current president’s way.

This is the hope and change these people were all chanting about in 2008.

This is who these people really are.

Like with Simon, it might take a few Fosters to get the masks off, but someone who brings rape fantasy into any diatribe is someone who has serious, deep-rooted, horrific problems.

You might not live in Boystown.  You might never go to Sidetracks.  You might never meet Simon.

But, all across the country, there are Leftists like Simon.  That’s a scary, sobering thought.

Do you see, now, why we instinctively walk away from guys who give the first indication of being one of these Leftists?

Does this make sense now?