Here’s a troll dropping we caught in the spam filter today.  Read it, and see if you can identify the tell-tale trolls signs found therein, and try to determine what the goal of this troll was in attempting to post this.  After the jump, see our take on what’s going on.

As an IL voter I’m pretty disgusted with both of the choices for Senate — both are equally repugnant in different and similar ways, and I don’t feel that either would best represent the interests of the majority of the people (their pet special interest groups and “people” are another story). So I’m completely at a loss as to what to do — I can see myself campaigning energetically against both of them.

It’s a real conundrum, and I’m also having issues, as a person who usually identifies as an independent, with voting “for a party”. I really don’t like that alternative either.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this, so I got to thinking: what about campaigning for a “no” vote for both of them? I don’t think either is well liked, nor well respected, and they both stink as senatorial canidates. What if the people of IL just didn’t vote for either of them?

Perhaps not the best answer to the problem, but right now I’m at a loss — and getting increasingly disgusted with the cheerleading from each side, proclaiming their guy as so great…when it only boils down to party politics at best and just wanting to win at worst (those don’t seem like considered options to me).

Would love some feedback.

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Okay, let’s run through this line by line.

(1) As an IL voter I’m pretty disgusted with both of the choices for Senate — both are equally repugnant in different and similar ways, and I don’t feel that either would best represent the interests of the majority of the people (their pet special interest groups and “people” are another story). So I’m completely at a loss as to what to do — I can see myself campaigning energetically against both of them.

Setting off our Troll-dar immediately is the “As an IL voter” bit. To us, this reads like an intern or college student writing this, using a script given to them by David Axelrod, Organizing for America, the DNC, Saatchi & Saatchi, or any number of DNC-backed front companies in service to The Lightbringer.  Remember, trolls are instructed to establish an identity with their audience in as few sentences as possible.  The first point on their checklist is to say something that makes readers believe they have some authority on the topic at hand.  Telling the gullible that the troll is “an IL voter’ achieves that.  “Oh, I need to listen, because this person is an IL voter, so she must know what she is talking about”.

Next up, because the DNC realizes it has a terrible candidate in Giannoulias, the troll recognizes just how bad Giannoulias is, without naming him.

That’s important, because the DNC has a mission to make people talk about just how bad BOTH candidates are in Illinois for Senate, so that it becomes a “hold your nose and default vote Democrat like always situation”.  The DNC won’t do any more damage to Giannoulias by having their trolls use his name…instead, they will just trot out more of the old “lesser of two evils” chestnuts the gullible parrot back so effectively time and time again.

Notice the totally random and generic line in there about “special interest groups and “people”.  That makes no sense whatsoever.  What special interest groups?  When have we ever talked about special interest groups on this site?  That’s not a phrase we use.  To our knowledge, the only special interest group Giannoulias has is the Mob.  And we call it “the Mob”.  So, clearly, this comment was written by someone in the troll organizing department, and it was copy and pasted as a remark here on HillBuzz.

Notice, there’s no attempt at all to try to claim any sort of readership of this site.  There’s no reference to HillBuzz at all…no reference to other commenters…no h/t to anything said previously.  So, this tells us the troll who posted this is low-ranking and amateur.  It might be her first week on the job, and all she is doing is cutting and pasting things at random, without bothering to try to create any sort of a tie to the site she’s posting on.  At all.

Look at the last line.  She says she is completely at a loss as to what to do.  Do you see how these troll remarks read like bad logic puzzles or story problems in a freshman year debate or philosophy class?  It feels like the trolls are setting up “if/then statements” that are trying to lead you to the conclusion that you should either just not vote (so Giannoulias can win) or default vote Democrat like always because, in the end, Giannoulias will be proved to be the lesser of two evils.

Without ever mentioning Giannoulias’ name, of course.

(2) It’s a real conundrum, and I’m also having issues, as a person who usually identifies as an independent, with voting “for a party”. I really don’t like that alternative either.

This part is interesting because it seems we’ve been flagged by the DNC as a site where a lot of independents go…so, hence the appeal to people who “identify as independent”.  The troll is trying to establish the fact she is “independent” and does not vote with either party.  “See, she’s just like me!  Me need listen now.  She big thinker!”.

(3) Anyway, I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this, so I got to thinking: what about campaigning for a “no” vote for both of them? I don’t think either is well liked, nor well respected, and they both stink as senatorial canidates. What if the people of IL just didn’t vote for either of them?

We’re pretty sure this, right here, is the DNC strategy in Illinois: to convince as many people as possible to either stay home or throw their votes away on a third party, so that Giannoulias wins with the Cook County machine vote.

Republicans should see this strategy telegraphed a million miles away.  We have been warning the GOP in Illinois about this for months now:  Kirk, with his Cap & Tax and other vulnerabilities, is the ideal candidate for the DNC to pull this crap with…and Republicans in Illinois love sitting their butts home on election day “to teach them a lesson!”.  Idiots.

The DNC clearly knows how bad a candidate Giannoulias is, so watch for a big push of DNC money behind some nutjob third party spoiler who will snap votes away from Kirk…combined with the usual push to convince idiot Republicans to sit their butts home to “teach lessons” some more.

That is Giannoulias’ campaign strategy in a nutshell.

(3) Perhaps not the best answer to the problem, but right now I’m at a loss — and getting increasingly disgusted with the cheerleading from each side, proclaiming their guy as so great…when it only boils down to party politics at best and just wanting to win at worst (those don’t seem like considered options to me).

This last bit is just standard troll boilerplate.

Look how it could have been written about ANY race, with any candidates. No names used. Random references to unspecific “cheerleading”. “Their guy” instead of naming either Kirk or Giannoulias, which makes us think this bit was focus-group tested at the national level for us in any race, long before Kirk and Giannoulias were selected as the nominees in the Illinois Senate race.

Notice the weird word choices that pop up that don’t fit with the rest of the syntax and spelling errors in the piece. “Considered options” sure sounds focus-group tested and Madison Avenue approved. A person who spelled candidates as “canidates” just a sentence before doesn’t seem likely to say something as professional-sounding as “considered options”.  That’s an interesting adjective, “considered”.  It’s pregnant with meaning on so many levels, and seems levels above a Can I Date? mistake.

(4) Would love some feedback.

The whole thing ends with another tell-tale troll closer:  would love some feedback.

This, we believe, is intended by the trolls to hijack a thread and trick gullible people into going on for many posts about whatever the troll wanted talked about.  It’s the same thing they do when trolls say, “I just had this question” or “I’d really like your opinion on this because you are so knowledgeable”.

People, you realize overweight, highly unattractive, Mountain Dew drinking, Cheetos eating Liberal interns and college students are writing this stuff…laughing every time they post it, most likely with World of Warcraft minimized in another window on their screens.

“Tee-hee!  Me fool them!  They think me girl, and they read what me post and then they think me big thinker, and they listen am ME!  Tee-hee.  Did good trolling.  Good troll!  More Cheetos!”.

The sad thing is this really and truly does work.  Much, much more than it should.