Archive for January 10th, 2010
Question of the Day: How do you spot a Concern Troll or Eeyore?
Some of you have asked us to further explain the difference between Concern Trolls and Eeyores. Well, here goes.
Concern Troll = someone who posts on a board, forum, or article and says things like:
* “You know, I really like Scott Brown, but it’s Massachusetts, and even though he’s had a surge, it’s Massachusetts, so we should stop phone-banking or working hard and just give up. It’s Massachusetts”.
* “Oh, I’ve been so proud of how hard Hillary Clinton has been fighting, but there’s no way she’s going to win Ohio. This is the best board ever, and we all love Hillary, but I heard on MSNBC that Obama has it all sewed up, so for the good of the party she should just quit and drop out of the race. I like her, but I think we need to just give up now.”
* “You know, I didn’t like Sarah Palin at first, but then, wow, she gave a great speech at the convention and I think she has a good heart. Such cute kids, too! But, really, I hate to say she’s not ready yet to be Vice President, but she’s not. I think we just need to accept that and move on”.
Concern Trolls use a lot of “I Statements”, the kind bad therapists tell sociopaths to use more of so that they trick parole boards into releasing them. “I think”, “I feel”, “I believe”, etc. They have a three-pronged, four or five sentence max, little system:
(A) Establish some positive connection to whatever the thread is about, but using “I Statements” to say things like: “I like Scott Brown”, “I didn’t like Sarah Palin at first but”, “I’ve been so proud of Hillary Clinton”, etc. The example about Palin is good because one of the other things they try to do is establish some sort of false-honesty by seemingly admitting something to the board, so that they generate a fake credibility, among other oxymorons. “I didn’t like her at first, but, now I do, and I’ve thus established you can trust me because I shared that secret, now listen to me when I tell you to sit your butts home and let Democrats win. Otay? Buh-bye!”
(B) Tell everyone they all worked hard and note how impressed the troll is with all of you (“This is the best board ever!”), and then express “concern” that people are getting their hopes up too much and that people need to not waste their energy on the task at hand. “We’ve all worked hard, but now it is time to give up and do nothing so that Democrats can catchup and beat us”.
(C) Flat-out, using “I Statements”, tell everyone to just give up, but without making imperative statements that would come off as commands and piss people off. So, they don’t say, “You have to just stop and give up now so Democrats can win”. Instead, they say, “I think we’re all just really tired. We put up a good fight. But the Boston Globe poll says Coakley’s ahead by 15 points, and it is Massachusetts, so we should just all put our diapers on, sit in the corner, and fill them, all day, doing nothing productive, until someone can come and change us. That’s what I am going to do, and I have been the biggest supporter of our candidate ever. I love this board!”
Concern trolls are often, but not always, paid operatives who quite possibly work in little boutique PR and Public Strategies consulting firms in major cities. Chicago has DOZENS of these. We know — we’ve worked in these offices. Where do you think we learned everything we tell you?
********
Eeyores are different from Concern Trolls even if the end result is the same, to demoralize supporters of one candidate so the other candidate can win.
We came up with the term Eeyores to describe people in our ranks during the Clinton campaign who would depress other volunteers with their pessimism, negativity, and “there’s no way we can win!” nonsense. These are people who get all their news from CNN and MSNBC without realizing that CNN and MSNBC have agendas and deliberately lie to push them.
Eeyores LOVE emailing people negative articles. It’s sick, actually.
During the Clinton campaign, honest to goodness, we were stretched so thin it wasn’t funny. We worked full time, then raced home every day to run phone banks for Clinton out of Buzzquarters where we had volunteers come to make calls into all the primary and caucus states. EVERY NIGHT. Strangers would come over to use our apartment to make phone banking calls. EVERY NIGHT. We had to clean, to bake, to get pizza, to have all the phone scripts printed. EVERY NIGHT. We slept, at most, two hours, maybe three, a night in those days. It was insane. We put every cent, every bit of energy, into campaigning for Clinton.
And then, there, in our email boxes, every day we’d find email after email from Eeyores, one particularly “O-bother!”-some one in particular, with CNN and MSNBC articles attached telling us we should just give up and quit. “CNN says she can’t win New Hampshire!”. “MSNBC says she won’t win Pennsylvania!”. “Anderson Cooper says she’s going to lose New York! NEW YORK!?!?! We’re DOOMED! DOOMED! DOOMED!”.
The key difference here is this: concern trolls WANT you to give up; Eeyores don’t want you to give up and don’t want the opponent to win, but don’t realize they are sabotaging all efforts you’re making.
Concern Trolls DELIBERATELY lower morale.
Eeyores lower morale unintentionally.
They just can’t shut their damn mouths and need to keep venting their pessimism, spreading their little black rainclouds everywhere. It’s frustrating.
Eeyores are actually FAR MORE DANGEROUS and harder to deal with, because they are often your friends. In our case, with Hillary Clinton, Eeyores were people we liked very much — but the time and energy it took to keep these people propped up, and to talk them down off ledges they got on whenever Tim Russert starting bellowing “Just quit already!” really distracted us from other things we needed to do.
It cost us AT LEAST three essays a day we could have written…about 100 phone calls a day we could have made…or just plain old sleep we missed because we were refuting, bit by bit, everything the MSNBC/CNN propaganda machine was putting out there to discourage Hillary’s voters and lower our turnout on election day.
Exhausting!
HillBuzz itself, this site, exists because of Eeyores, actually. It’s why we started this site, because the constant emails from 50 or so of these people on our list of 500 volunteers took so much time to address that we just started posting what we would have written to these people individually on this site. We never intended this to be a national site. It was strictly for Chicago Hillary volunteers, so we could share articles to refute what the MSM propaganda machine was doing, and to give people tips to fight Concern Trolls and combat Eeyorism in their own midst.
Evidently, there’s still a need for this, because here we are two years later and we’re still at it.
We’d love it if you could add to this thread your own experiences with Concern Trolls and Eeyores. Republican sites we visit are chock full of Eeyores. It’s one of the two things we notice about Republican men in their 20s-30s: they are the most Eeyore prone, gullible people we’ve ever known. The media says it’s all over, and these Marys pack it all in, drop their pants, grab their diapers, and fudge themselves in the corner — on cue. Ridiculous.
The other thing we notice is that Republicans guys, for all the homophobic crap they sling (at least in Chicago), sure love wearing tight, tight khacki pants and get MIGHTY friendly after their, like 7th, Jack and Coke or whatever. There sure are stories we could tell you from the Palin VP Watch Party…the McCain Debate Watch parties…or from Election Night that make our tales of Boystown pale in comparison.
Eeyores and closet cases, so, so many of them. At least in Chicago anyway.
The Mineral City Coffee Club Endorses Scott Brown for US Senate – By Patricia Melton and the Mineral City Coffee Club
H/t honorary Coffee Club member Mizz Jodee
Dear HillBuzz,
My name is Patricia Melton (but you can call me Pattymelt), and I am President-for-Life of the Mineral City Coffee Club, the foremost coffee club in all of Mineral City, which itself is the “Florence of Places Most People Have Never Heard of But Should Hear About”. Additionally, I am an avid reader, political expert, amateur detective, unafraid of mummies, beleaguered wife, mother of a wonderful gay son in Chicago and many cat-babies here in Ohio (who all have very clever names, which I thought of), and PROUD AMERICAN. I also have a daughter, who lives in New York, and is terrible, but the less said about her the better (she’ll take money from your purse if you don’t keep your eye on her – so no wonder she voted for Obama).
The Mineral City Coffee Club, like all coffee clubs coast to coast (and internationally, in countries that know what both “coffee” and “clubs” are, so the good countries, where people can read and you can understand them without having to listen to a lot of gibberish, not the terrible ones where I wish my daughter would go live for a while so maybe she would appreciate things here more) never takes political endorsements lightly. We realize many people in Massachusetts have been staying up very late, or not even sleeping at all, wondering who we will endorse in the Massachusetts special election for January 19th to replace the murdering, drunk, womanizing giant spider that held that seat in its disgusting, slimy pincers for 50 years. Ted Kennedy. I’m talking about Ted Kennedy, who got away with murder after drowning a young woman with great promise, the Ted Kennedy whose vile family, to this day, pretends he was some sort of hero (for what — only drowning the one girl, and not being a serial killer? Does that qualify for secular sainthood in Liberal ranks – not being a serial killer? Spiders, the lot of them, are. Spiders!). After careful consideration, and a full vote by the entire Coffee Club, we’re backing Scott Brown for United States Senate in Massachusetts, and I’ll tell you why.
SARAH PALIN'S NINJA THROWING STARS WILL BE NEEDED ONCE MORE TO SAVE THE REPUBLIC!
An Open Letter to Sarah Palin:
Dear Governor Palin,
Help!
Your ninja throwing star-grade messages on Facebook strike terror into the hearts of feckless Liberals and inspire millions of average Americans to take to their feet, get off their butts, and DO SOMETHING to counter the insanity being forced upon us by the current Congress.
We implore you to address, as soon as you think is appropriate, the threats made against Democracy by Interim Senator Paul Kirk, Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, and Massachusetts Secretary of State William Galvin. If you think you need to wait until after January 19th to do this, then PLEASE have something ready to roll the moment the election is over and Democrats begin their plot, should Scott Brown win, to keep him from being seated in the Senate.
Kirk, Patrick, and Galvin, with the tacit encouragement and agreement of both Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and political candidate Martha Coakley, have announced their intention to block the certification and seating of Senator Scott Brown should he win the special election in Massachusetts to take “the Kennedy Seat” away from Democrats at this critical juncture for our nation.
Democrats have openly declared their intention to usurp the will of the Massachusetts people and illegally cram their Healthcare Rationing Bill and Death Panels through the Senate using Paul Kirk’s interim vote (which should disappear the moment someone is declared the winner on January 19th, no matter which candidate wins) as the 60th vote needed to avoid further debate on this monstrous legislation.
PLEASE, we implore you Governor, mobilize your supporters to great hue and cry. Get them ready to shout to the mountains over the audacity and tyrannical hubris Democrats now display. The NERVE of these people to flat-out announce they’ll do everything in their power to keep Scott Brown from being seated is ASTONISHING.
TERRIFYING.
A nation looks to you for leadership Governor Palin.
Many of us believe you are our only hope for restoring sanity to this country in 2012.
We believe in you, and wish upon a thousand Alaskan stars, from our post here in Chicago, that you’ll draw the attention that’s needed, at the critical time, if Kirk, Patrick, Galvin, Reid, and Coakley indeed carry out their plot against the voters of Massachusetts and maneuver to block Scott Brown from being seated should he win the election.
This Republic needs you, Governor. More than ever.
Please help us all. Please get ready to use your pulpit to rain big thunder down upon those who seek to trample our rights and usurp our democracy. Make this the most well-articulated, memorable, and inspiring ninja throwing star you’ve ever dispatched from Facebook.
MAKE THEM TASTE YOUR NIGHTSTICK.
BOOM!
Sincerely,
The HillBuzz Guys
Your Friends in Boystown
Sunday Open Thread: January 10th, 2010
What’s on your mind this Sunday?
*******
H/t MizzJodee
How about having a, somewhat awkward, conversation with your butt? Tell it that it’s time TO GET UP AND DO SOMETHING. America’s in trouble, people. Democrats in Massachusetts have declared that no matter what happens in the special election on January 19th that they will not seat Scott Brown as SENATOR HOTTIE McAWESOME and will do everything they can, through hook and crook, to cram their Death Panels and Healthcare Rationing down our throats, against the will of the people.
If we have to conjure up the ghosts of Paul Revere, Mercy Otis Warren, George Washington, John and Abigail Adams, Thomas Paine, and Benjamen Franklin to motivate you to stand up for your country when it needs you, we’ll find us a Oija board and get on it. We’ll put Panda on it, at the very least, since that’s much more productive than him trying to contact Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett to ask them where their treasure’s buried (don’t ask).
Never in our lives have we seen anything as important as helping Scott Brown win that Senate seat in Massachusetts so he can stop the madness the Democrats in the Senate are engaged in.
For the love of this country that means more to us than we can ever tell you, PLEASE work hard today and through the 19th to elect Scott Brown to the Senate in Massachusetts.
We are ALL-IN on this and will be working nonstop writing, phone-banking, and doing the more subversive stuff we’re so good at. Every trick we know will be employed on Hottie McAwesome’s behalf. Never let it be said this group of gay dudes in Boystown didn’t come running when a stone cold fox former centerfold and the nation needed them.
Hey Republicans — especially you big macho ones — you gonna let a bunch of gay boys here in Chicago show you up?
You gonna let us work harder than you?
You gonna let us lead this charge, or are you gonna show us what YOU GOT?
In the non-gay, no double-entendres, just talking about bringing the heat for Hottie McAwesome way.
If you think you’ve seen us fired up before, you ain’t never SEEN fired-up.
You with us or what?
Pick A Team, Get That Butt Off the Couch, and Let’s Save This Country, People:
Red Team: Get on the phones and make calls into Massachusetts for Scott Brown. Be positive and never say a bad word about his opponent, whatever her name is. Just sell Brown. Tell people how awesome he his. Tell them he’s going to save us from the Healthcare Rationing disaster. Massachusetts residents, chime in and use this thread to tell phone bankers what the voters in your state want to hear about. Call everyone in Massachusetts, every man, woman, cat, dog, drag queen, and fisherman. All of ‘em. Twice. TELL THEM DEMOCRATS ARE PLANNING ON DEFRAUDING VOTERS AND NOT SEATING BROWN IF HE WINS.
Blue Team: Spread the word to as many Brown supporting sites as possible about the dangers of Eeyorism and concern trolls. Make sure they know what Brown is up against, and how the Liberals are mobilizing their troll and goblin armies to sink morale and demoralize Brown voters. We can’t let them win. Blue Team, take wing and get this article of ours on “Eeyores and Concern Trolls” out there so Brown’s supporters can learn from our experiences on the Clinton and Palin campaigns.
Green Team: Send some cash to Hottie McAwesome if you can. He’s a centerfold with a heart of gold so slip him some Lincolns or Hamiltons if you can. Introduce him to your friend Andrew Jackson or arrange a meet and greet with old Ben Franklin if that’s at all possible.
Gold Team: You must do everything you can to make sure as many people in Massachusetts as possible know what Deval Patrick, Paul Kirk, William Galvin, Harry Reid, and Martha Coakley are plotting: their contingency plan to block Scott Brown from becoming Senator Hottie McAwesome and taking his place in Washington to defeat the Death Panels and Heathcare Rationing bill once and for all. For Brown to obliterate that particular Debt Star, we need to make sure the people of Massachusetts know to what vile depths Democrats are willing to stoop in their mad and unconstitutional grab for power. Two things need to happen:
(1) We need Sarah Palin to comment on what Democrats are doing with their plot to block Brown’s seating in the Senate. If you believe in God, it’s clear to us He’s given Governor Palin a platform for something at this moment in time. We believe it’s to stand tall with a great trumpet and awaken a slumbering giant…the silent majority of Americans who let Liberals get away with so much, until they go too far. THEY HAVE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME. Palin’s Facebook messages cause earthquakes. We need her supporters to join the fight as reinforcements, outraged by what Democrats in Massachusetts are plotting. Every man, woman, cat, dog, juggler, and telephone repairman in Massachusetts needs to know about The Plot To Not Seat Scott Brown. Palin can help make that happen.
(2) We need every forum, every message board, every possible place you can think of in Massachusetts where people like you might read to have threads on the Democrats’ Plot To Not Seat Scott Brown. Do you bake? Find baking forums in Massachusetts and tell them about this. Do you fish? Get on a fishing message board and tell those guys there what’s going down. Think about where you go everyday besides our site — what other kinds of places do you post messages or lurk? Go to similar places that are Massachusetts-specific and make sure everyone knows about The Plot To Not Seat Scott Brown.
Great Merciful Zeus, it’s going to be a lot of work.
We’re up against unprecedented corruption.
ACORN and the SEIU have been summoned from the depths, like goblins and harpies on the wing, and they’re descending upon Massachusetts to raise the very dead to vote Democrat on January 19th if they need those corpses to stack the decks against Brown.
This is the battle of our lifetimes.
ALL HANDS ON DECK!
