Archive for December, 2009
Reminder: buy up as many marked down Christmas ornaments as you can to make Hillary and Sarah ornaments for Iowa
All of the Christmas ornaments will go on sale today — reaching 75% at some point.
We buy up as many of the round red and blue bulbs as we can find — really, any color will do but we think the red and blue look the nicest for political purposes.
Then, we find nice pictures we like of Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin and print them off the computer, using our finest decoupage skills to make little Hillary and Sarah Christmas ornaments.
We started doing this in 2007 when we went to Iowa for the first time and campaigned for Hillary Clinton in the primaries. In our hotel room, while we were watching all the biased coverage the MSM provided, pushing Dr. Utopia and Mike Huckabee to win in their respective fields, we made dozens of Hillary ornaments that we handed out to families we met while canvassing in Waterloo, Des Moines, Clinton, Dubuque, you name it. People really enjoyed receiving them, and almost every person we gave one to immediately walked over to the tree in the living room and hung the ornament with pride in a prominent position.
We’d bet more than a few of those ornaments are on trees again this year.
Palin supporters, in particular, should pay particular attention to this posting — there is now under two years until campaigning will start in Iowa. More likely than not, Palin will declare her candidacy in early 2011…and we do not want to see her make the mistake Hillary Clinton made and wait too long to start working Iowa. As much as we hate this reality: because of the nature of the nominating contests, Iowa is everything. If Palin wins there, she’ll win New Hampshire and South Carolina right after that, and become the nominee.
On a grassroots level, just imagine what we could accomplish if we started prep work for her campaign now, and had two years of crafting time to make as many little goodies like Christmas ornaments as we could, so that we could hit the ground running in Iowa early, blowing Mitt Romney, John Thune, Charlie Crist, Bobby Jindal, or whomever else the MSM tries to run against Palin right out of the water.
We’re going to buy up as many ornaments as we can here in Chicago and will start crafting for Palin. We’ll even make trips into Iowa in November/December 2010 to start passing these out, using our old Hillary Clinton campaign lists of moderate Democrats to canvass for Palin in Iowa. Good thing we saved all those names and addresses from 2008; some of those people will have moved, obviously, but 70% of the lists should be good.
Our job will be, as always, to encourage moderate Dems and independents to defy the DNC and deny Dr. Utopia a second term. Conservatives have the job of getting your own members off their lazy, lazy butts and actually making it to the polls to vote this time. Dr. Utopia’s presidency is all their fault, in our opinion, because they decided to sit 2008 out.
As of the new year, we have just two years to make sure that does not happen again.
Together we can do it, but we have to start now…and starting with Christmas ornaments seems as good a place to start as any.
Saturday Open Thread: December 26th, 2009
What’s on your mind this Saturday?
Can you give us a recap of your Christmas?
What we’re most interested in hearing about (besides how good the food was) are the political bits that came up in conversation. Do you have any Utopians in your families? Are they still kneeling before their Lightbringer, awaiting unicorn delivery, or are they questioning “The Golden Age of Hope and Change”?
How angry were your relatives at Ben Nelson, the shameless whore of the Senate?
Please share.
We’ll have our own holiday roundup ready sometime today, so you’ll get all the scoop on what Christmas was like here in Boystown. No surprise here, we’re sure, but there were indeed Naughty Elves and Holly-Jolly Strippers.
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Here’s something that should get a lot of 20-30 something Utopians up in arms: their Lightbringer is taking away their Flex Spending Health accounts.
Few of us have ever worked anywhere with Flex Spending accounts, but in the rare instances when we worked in offices full-time and had benefits packages, this was our favorite perk. Flex Spending accounts let you buy over-the-counter health items without having to pay income tax on that. It’s amazing, really. Some companies let you allot up to $5,000/year into your Flex Spending account. You get a little Flex Spending credit card that you then use to purchase whatever you need from the drug store, pay for doctor visits, cover your dental procedures, etc. You can also pay with cash or another credit card and then fax your receipts into your Flex Spending provider and have them covered.
It’s, in a word, wonderful.
You still pay the tax on the products at the point of purchase, but the money you put into your flex spending account is deducted from your pay BEFORE income tax is taken. So if you put $5,000 into your Flex Account and spent it all in a year, and you made $30,000, then at income tax time you only show $25,000 for the government to pillage. We’ve known people who had their teeth fixed (as braces aren’t covered in any plan we’ve seen after age 19), had other medical procedures they needed that insurers also weasled out of covering, and who have families that break the bank in over-the-counter eye and allergy purchases save themselves a great deal of money in this program.
But, the White House is now taking this away. Only insulin and prescription medication will be allowed in Flex Spending Plans. That means no braces for you, snaggle-tooth.
Remember: Republicans who sat out the 2008 election because “McCain wasn’t good enough” need to accept responsibility for what happens when a radical socialist takes power who wants to snatch as much of your money as possible and make it harder and harder for you to live a decent life.
This is the change that was promised; hope you like it.
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Nevadans are asking Harry Reid: “Where’s our Christmas present?”.
If shameless whore of the Senate Ben Nelson bent over and smiled big for Reid, abandoning whatever principles he had regarding abortion funding, after getting an ETERNAL exemption from Medicaid increases for Nebraska (which is unconstitutional, by the way), then what has Reid brought home for Nevada?
We hope Sue Lowden really, really clobbers Reid with this one.
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RELIGION OF PEACE ATTEMPTS TO BLOW UP ANOTHER AIRPLANE TODAY
Islam is, as Liberals repeatedly say, “The Religion of Peace” — in much the same way the little green hate-and-death-machines in Tim Burton’s “Mars Attacks!” were the Invading Martians of Peace. Just look at how they’re shouting “We come in peace!” as they are blowing everything up. What are you going to believe? Your eyes or your ears?
Muslims keep trying to blow up airplanes and kill Americans. Yet, the Left keeps insisting this front for global terrorism is “a peaceful religion”.
Today, a Nigerian Muslim took advantage of lax security in Nigeria and Holland to smuggle explosives onboard so he could try to blow up a plane on descent into Detroit.
On November 17th, Muslims in Atlanta staged a hijacking attempt on Air Tran Flight 127 to Houston — in what appears to be another attempt to encourage the PC-police to relax security in American airports, by creating an environment where the TSA is afraid to do its job for fear of being accused of profiling Muslims.
Well, Muslims are the ones blowing up airplanes. Until they stop doing that, profile the living s*** out of them. Make them fly totally naked, with no carry-on bags allowed, or don’t let them fly at all. Inconveniencing members of “The Religion of Peace” is a small price to pay for permanently preventing these animals from bringing down any more airplanes.
What’s going to happen is this: Liberals will guarantee Muslims will continue to have the ability to kill Americans in airplanes. Muslims will effectively bully the TSA and airlines, with Liberals’ aid and comfort, to lower the security levels enough so that they are able to sneak the next generation of liquid and powder explosive combinations onto flights. With love of theatrics greater than any drag queen we’ve ever known, Muslims will use the current administration’s fondness for Islam to stage either another round of hijackings/crashes into buildings or will just pick a day in the future and detonate bombs on a dozen or so planes all at once, putting fireballs over major cities. The Liberal MSM will then puzzle and wonder how this happened, and will of course try to blame the Bush Administration in some way.
It sure feels like Al Queda’s back in the air terror business after successfully being shut down during the Bush years. But, with the Lightbringer in office, and Eric Holder in the Justice Department, it sure feels like Muslims are once again comfortable with taking down airplanes.
This appears to be coordinated efforts to test our systems, in advance of another big attack.
Which is all ridiculous, of course, if you believe Islam really is “the religion of peace” — because how could Muslims, if they really do love peace so much, sit quietly on their butts all over this country when their fellow Muslims plot and scheme to bring down planes like this?
That’s a question we never can find a very good answer for.
Her Majesty's Christmas Message, 2009
As Americans, we currently do not have a First Lady we can be proud of — instead, we have a woman who fashions herself a style icon, proud of her country for the first time in her adult life only because she’s being lavished more attention, riches, and power than she ever dreamed of. Since there is no permanent head of state in this country, the First Family assumes that role, collectively, whether they are prepared for it or not. Some First Ladies have been spectacular in their duties: Laura Bush, Hillary Clinton, Barbara Bush, Jackie Kennedy, Eleanor Roosevelt, Frances Cleveland, Grace Coolidge, Dolly Madison, Abigail Adams, and other great First Ladies from the past.
We neither have, nor want, a royal family in America, no matter how much the Kennedy Family pretends otherwise. But the hit-or-miss roulette we play every four years with the people who live in the White House makes us appreciate those countries that enjoy dignified continuity, and are spared from suffering through four years’ of bare arms, strange sweater sets, wrestling belts, and inappropriate behavior from someone who is supposed to represent the very best of the nation.
The British are fortunate to have Queen Elizabeth II as their head of state — a woman who is proud of her country every day, who embodies class and grace, and spends every waking hour in service not just to her people, but to the very powers of good.
One of our grandmothers worked in Britain in the leadup and early days of WWII. Whenever any of you out there attack Queen Elizabeth or spit venom at the British monarchy, we are reminded of the stories we heard as children, of King George and his family, most notably Princess Elizabeth, holding the people together and giving them the strength to endure bomb after bomb smashing against their country. Buckingham Palace itself was bombed, during which the King and Queen were almost killed in a direct German attack. Yet, the Windsors never fled for Canada. They stayed firm in service to their people. Princess Elizabeth worked as a mechanic and driver in the army. They represented the very best of the British “Never Surrender” spirit, and we do not believe the war would have been won without them. Winston Churchill said as much himself. Our grandmother taught us to respect the Queen for all she stands for, and admire her for the love she has for her country and her people.
The Queen’s Christmas Message was always a tradition in our homes growing up, because of the immense respect our very American families have for Her Majesty, the Queen. It is immensely difficult to live an entire lifetime in the glare of the spotlight, forever having to be perfect every minute of the day, knowing you physically embody the character and spirit of your nation. We respect Her Majesty immensely…especially this last year without someone of similar patriotism and love of country occupying the ceremonial and representative role our own culture has created for the First Lady.
Class vs. Crass
Can you imagine what “The First Lady’s Christmas Message” would look like? Could Mrs. Utopia stuff enough of her grievances into a 7 minute clip to warrant even a forced smile?
God save the Queen.
Heaven help us all.
Favorite Christmas Songs that Aren't Christmas Songs
There certainly are plenty of fantastic Christmas songs out there — so there’s no need for us to want to hear other, non-Christmas songs at Christmas time, but k.d. Lang singing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is something we love hearing on YouTube as we get all the food ready every Christmas for dinner. It’s not a Christmas song, but for some reason it’s become part of our Christmas tradition.
Just like some of our favorite renditions of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”:
And Louis Armstrong’s “All the Time in the World”:
Jonatha Brooke’s “Eye in the Sky”:
And “What A Wonderful World”:
Maybe it’s because on Christmas, we spend a good part of the day thinking about all the people we’ve loved who can’t be here with us today, and these songs are also songs we associate with them…songs that were played at many of their memorial services…songs that have always given us great comfort.
Because, to us, Christmas has two sides: the fun, festive, celebratory, red and green, happy side, and the side that acknowledges the simple fact that each year life’s moved forward, often leaving people we love behind. All the Christmas memories flood back today, and get all mixed up and jumbled together. We’re lucky to have many of the same people still in our lives from last year, but even the ones not around today are in our thoughts.
These non-Christmas “Christmas songs” we like serve a purpose in all of that, we think.
Does anyone else do this? We’re curious, and wonder what other “non-Christmas” songs you’ve made into Christmas traditions of your own.
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UPDATE: We’re actually surprised so many of you had never heard the “Hallelujah” song before. It’s most famously sung by Jeff Buckley, the talented vocalist who drowned in a river several years ago, just before he was going to hit it really big in the mainstream. Rufus Wainwright also sings it, but frankly he’s very overrated (and a bit of a d*** in person). We like the k.d. Lang version much better. Also, our friend Joaquin looks so much like k.d. Lang that THREE TIMES here in Chicago people have stopped him on Michigan Avenue or at lunch in nice restaurants and asked him for his autograph — and Joaquin got all flattered, thinking they remember him from something he did on TV during the campaign or whatever, and then gets red-faced and embarrassed when it turns out the people thought he was k.d. Lang. That happened at Sidetracks once, too, when some lesbians thought he was Lang. They asked him to sing Hallelujah, in fact, before the whole thing was cleared up. He told us not to tell you those stories, so “whoops”.
Merry Christmas Open Thread
Our thoughts today are first and foremost with all Americans in uniform serving their country so far from home on this holiday. It’s a rainy, chilly day here in Chicago, but we’re warm inside, with lots of good food to eat and plenty of places to be and things to do today. Do not think for even a moment that we do not realize how good we all have it, in comparison to the spartan Christmas we know many in Afghanistan, Iraq, and other hotspots around the world are facing today. They volunteered for duty so that all of us could enjoy days like Christmas back home, and we want all of them, and their families, to know how much we love and appreciate the service members — whom we may never meet, but whom we send our first holiday wishes to every year.
We also, on this Christmas Day, ask all of you to not only remember our military today, but to look into your hearts and find forgiveness for anyone who’s wronged you this last year. We’ll ask you to do this again on New Year’s Day as well, because it’s important. Life is a short and precious gift. Every day spent weighted down with pettiness and grudges is a day wasted.
On this Christmas, we think of all the people we’ve loved who can’t be here today — our grandparents, favorite aunts and uncles, friends lost to accident, disease, and violence. If they had one more Christmas to walk this Earth, they surely wouldn’t spend it telling someone off or talking about how much they hated anyone. No, they would instead spend the day calling people up, visiting them, writing them nice emails, and doing everything they can to make sure everyone knew how much they loved them.
So, we’d love for you to do that in your own lives today. Send out a nice holiday email to people you care about but don’t talk to much.
Text everyone in your phone and tell them you’re pulling for them, thinking about them today, and wish them much joy this Christmas.
Call up people you’re estranged from, especially family, and let them know that despite whatever differences you have, at the end of the day the only thing that matters to you is finding a way to get back on good terms in the new year.
It always takes someone willing to make the first step, to put themselves out there, for any progress to happen. 2009 was a brutal, ugly, awful year for most of us. As it draws to a close, and as we have all the joys of Christmas to enjoy today, we hope the spirit of the holidays can mend some broken bridges and can inspire many of you out there to reach out to those you haven’t talked to in a great while — because Christmas is a wonderful chance to do just that.
The greatest gift you could ever give anyone is your love and support. The greatest gift you could ever receive is friendship. All the store bought stuff is nothing. Just junk.
We deeply appreciate all of you — and as we enjoy this Christmas in Boystown and no doubt have many adventures we’ll report back soon, know that you are all very much in our thoughts today, as we wish you and your families a great Christmas, as we know so many out there really and truly need it.
Christmas Mashups: Toto's "Africa" meets "Twelve Days"
Great Merciful Zeus, we just heard a Christmas mash-up on Sirius that had a do-wop accapella group mix Toto’s “Africa” with “Twelve Days of Christmas”.
It was WONDERFUL…the first thing in recent memory that made us jump up and down, get all excited, and be truly, goofily, happy.
Does anyone know this song so we can get it on YouTube or something? The Sirius dial said, “Holly Straight No Chase” on it, instead of giving a group name or song title. But some of the lyrics were “Christmas down in Africa”, “Patridge in a big pear tree”, “million men or more”.
Know of any other good Christmas mash-ups?
A mash-up is when you take two songs that aren’t really related, but they go together perfectly when arranged by someone with talent. The TV show Glee, one of our favorites, is great at taking 80s songs and mashing them up with current hits.
We wonder how many great 80s songs have been mashed up with Christmas music like “Christmas Down in Africa”.
UPDATE: The Group is called “Straight No Chaser”. Not bad to look at, either.
Prayer request this Christmas, for our friend Joe
It’s always weird for us, as non-religious, non-spiritual people to ask you all out there to pray for anyone, but the few times we’ve done this, we really think it worked. When our friend Lionel was sick with prostate cancer, he told us that he really could feel the energy you were sending him. Lionel always told it like it was, and towards the end he was so sick he stopped going on the computer. We swear to you, he always knew the days that we mentioned him and that many of you out there emailed to say you lit candles for him or asked your churches to pray for him. We’d walk into his room, and his eyes would get all big and he’d smile a giant smile and say, “Y’all are at it again, aren’t you? You got the Internets praying for me some more, because I was cold this morning and was down and then all of a sudden I felt all warm and peaceful and I can feel the love”.
EVERY SINGLE TIME we mentioned him, this happened. Now, for all we know, his partner Todd was screwing with us and told Lionel what we wrote that day, but we never knew Todd to follow our site at all. We honest to goodness think Lionel did receive comfort, love, and joy from all of you, transmitted by satellites of angels from your kitchens, cathedrals, living rooms, or cars, wherever you were.
It was amazing. Lionel appreciated every minute of it. And we remain deeply, deeply humbled and grateful for it.
Well, today some more of that love is needed. Our friend Joe was supposed to fly into Chicago today to spend Christmas through New Year’s with us. Joe has HIV, and his health has not been good. He thought he was well enough to make the flight, but he knows he isn’t well enough to fight some blizzards, all the holiday traffic, and the stress of travel to come here. We had a great week of holiday adventures planned for him, and are sad today he won’t make the trip to partake in them.
It feels like this might be Joe’s last Christmas, too, which is heart-breaking beyond anything we’re capable of writing here. We lost so many good, dear friends in 2009. Others are battling cancer in the fights of their lives. And then there’s Joe, living with HIV that might be, tragically, turning into full AIDS.
Talk about a hard candy Christmas, folks.
So, any love and prayers you can send to Joe are deeply appreciate by us today. His stocking here at Buzzquarters was hung on our mantle with care, but it’s empty — we would have filled it with all kind of goodies tomorrow, but today we’re asking you to fill Joe’s heart with hope, happiness, joy, warmth, and love.
GOOD HEALTH, paramount to the rest.
It’s hard for us when we can’t do something for someone we love. We can’t write an essay to make this better. We can’t go down to a Congresscritter’s office and scream at them, as good as THAT always makes us feel. We can’t wear our tightest tee shirts and biggest smiles and recruit a bunch of volunteers to phone bank this all away.
But, you really did help Lionel.
We hope your prayers can help Joe, too.
We don’t know WHY this works, but we assure you, and Lionel swore to us, IT DID WORK.
Constant parody and ridicule will bring down the cult of personality
Our goal in 2010 is to make sure a great video like this is produced and goes viral every week, creating ever more parody and ridicule to help bring down the cult of personality upon which the current administration rests.
Especially effective, we think, are parodies that make people realize how little they’ve gotten from the whole Hope and Change Gang.
People are still wandering the streets, bedraggled, looking desperately for their unicorns. The more they’re reminded of how little they have, and how little Dr. Utopia has brought unto them, the more likely they are to sit their butts home come election day instead of granting the Lightbringer another term.
Where Have Other First Families Spent Christmas?
Here’s a great question that was raised by a comment on our site: where have First Families traditionally spent Christmas?
It’s been noted that both Reagan and George W. Bush spent Christmas at the White House or Camp David, so that the agents protecting them could keep relatively normal schedules and be with their families on the holidays.
The Utopias, of course, are heading to Hawaii for Christmas, at great public expense flying Air Force One thousands of miles away on the taxpayer dime, and renting a giant mansion for them to play around in when the White House and Camp David are already bought and paid for by the public.
What recession, right?
We honestly don’t know what the Clintons, George H. W. Bushes, Carters, Fords, Nixons, Johnsons, Kennedys, Eisenhowers, or Roosevelts did for Christmas, or where they spent it.
It might be a fun research project today and tomorrow to figure this out.
We never knew the Reagans decided to stay at the White House so they wouldn’t inconvenience the staff with a vacation during holidays…but it doesn’t surprise us at all that Reagan was decent and kind enough not to tear moms and dads away from their kids to do their duty when he didn’t need to.
And, frankly, it really doesn’t surprise us the Utopias gleefully abuse every perk afforded them. If there’s silk in a three mile radius, the current First Lady, in particular, is determined to fart through it. This is the woman who, after all, has been given everything she ever dreamed of and, yet, still asks “What are you getting me for Christmas? You should feel pressure” on national television.
Hope!
Change!
Me Me Me!
