This Wednesday, we went to a big Christmas party here in Chicago — one of the ones we weren’t invited to last year — purposefully — because we worked for the McCain campaign and were thus branded “traitors” here in Boystown.  So, we were punished, and cut off from the really good parties, where all the really interesting people go for the holidays.  This year, because so many people realize what a mess the current administration is, suddenly people don’t mind so much that we were DeMcCrats for McCain and remain Democrats for Palin (though that last one does make smoke come out of most of their ears). 

Here are a few things we’re going to tell you in the hopes that some of you can get it to the right people and stop disasters from happening in the future.  We are giving you clear and present warnings of what Democrats are going to do to bring down two Republicans in the future — one next year, and the other when he himself tries to run for the Senate.  Both of these disasters can be avoided if these two men just came out of the closet. 

We are, of course, talking about Mark Kirk and Aaron Schock.  

Kirk’s case is more pressing because Alexi Giannoulias, the scion of the Broadway Bank mob banking family, is poised to win the Democrats’ nomination. The plan is to out Kirk during the general election to suppress conservative vote, and thus ensure Giannoulias carries the state. One of the key factors being considered is that, while Giannoulias is not black, and the black community will be upset a black candidate is not replacing Burris, black voters will turn out to keep a gay man from being elected to the Senate. They will turn out to vote AGAINST Kirk, not FOR Giannoulias.  Homophobia will help drive their vote, the same way it did in California to pass Prop-8.  There is nobody on Earth the black community loves to stick it to more than a white gay man.  They will vote gleefuly, and thanks to ACORN, often. 

We were told at the party on Wednesday that we need to figure out who Mark Kirk shares a home with in Washington.  Apparently, that man may also be another member of Illinois’ congressional delegation.  We were told that during the general election the Giannoulias campaign will release, through surrogates, lurid details of exactly what goes on at the home Kirk shares with this other man in Washington.  It was implied this other man is in fact another gay Illinois Congressman. Apparently, it’s all between consenting adult males, so there are no Mark Foley scandals heading Kirk’s way, but he’s going to be painted as an untrustworthy liar…he’ll be ridiculed and mocked for his dishonesty, and his marital failings…and Republican voters that need to turn out to defeat Giannoulias will sit their butts home, the way they enjoy doing when they think they are “teaching the GOP a lesson”.  It is exactly what happened with Jack Ryan all over again.  

Someone in the GOP, take Kirk down now before you select him as your nominee.  Find a man who can actually WIN…someone who conservatives will come out and support, but someone who black and Chicago elitist voters don’t feel any personal mission to “stick it to”.  Blacks and elites won’t be motivated to come out in full force for Giannoulias, because they will not like the fact a black is not replacing Burris in “Obama’s seat”.  

The only way these people find motivation to vote is to “stick it to Kirk”.  That phrase kept being used over and over again on Wednesday.  

We have no idea who Kirk’s “roommate” is in Washington, DC.  It sure would be interesting to chime in if you know — because in a few months, this is all people will be talking about.  Democrats at the party said the Senate seat is in the bag, because Kirk will go down in flames. 

*******

The other interesting bit from the party was about Aaron Schock.  It is an open secret he is gay…and we finally got confirmation that Democrats do, indeed, have photos of Schock out in Chicago with other men.  We’ve been hearing for months this was true, and we’ve seen Schock with our own eyes out in Boystown, having very indiscrete times with Aberzombie sorts of guys.  Apparently, he has a boyfriend back in Peoria everyone knows about too.  Dems we know here in Chicago had asked us to try to get pics of Schock in MiniBar or other spots in Boystown, but we never got pictures of him.  Well, we found out on Wednesday that others do have the pictures.  But, they will be held for years until Schock tries to run for Senate himself.  

By then, very foolish advisors in the GOP will have set him up with a fake wife, and maybe even a kid for a prop.  But those pictures of Schock in bars will always be out there…and then when he runs for Senate…BOOM…another Jack Ryan, another Mark Kirk.  It is widely expected Schock will run for Senate in 2014, to challenge Dick Durbin.  

We believe if Schock comes out now…or even waits until just after the 2010 election, he can run in 2014 as an out and proud gay man and win that Senate seat.  We promise you, if he does this, we will personally campaign for him.  By all accounts, he is a decent and smart guy, and is certainly hard-working.  

But he is putting Republicans at great risk by posing for photos with big-busted beards poolside, trying to deflect the truth about his homosexuality.  Schock needs to come clean and not lie to voters.  He crossed a line with those poolside photos: before then, he hadn’t denied he is gay or done any Rock Hudson, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Liberace subterfuge. But, now Schock is lying to voters with his denials…while these photos are definitely in Dem hands just waiting to be used. 

With so much time between now and 2014, who knows what else Schock will do to make the lies even more blatant…which will only succeed in making voters angry at more Republicans being outed…not the way to build trust in the conservative brand.  

*******

Now, whenever we talk about Kirk, Schock, Charlie Crist, Rahm Emanuel, and other politicians being gay, some of you out there say “that’s none of anyone’s business”.  Well, it is indeed everyone’s business because these men are all deceiving the people they are asking to vote for them.  They say they are one thing, but then they do another.  These are all open secrets in Chicago that people feel perfectly comfortable talking about over Pilsners waiting in line for chicken satay at the buffet line of a Christmas party.  There is no whispering.  There’s no super-secret-don’t-talk-about-this-ever pledges.  The only reason you, yourself, don’t hear these things is because you do not live in Boystown and don’t spend your free time chatting up these Dem operatives here in Chicago.  

This is, indeed, how we spend our free time…and the things we are told we pass on to you.  

For verification, these are the same things our straight friends also hear in Republican circles, at the events they too, go to.  The last two weeks have been a flurry of holiday events.  At all of them, the topic of Kirk, Schock, and others being gay always comes up.  And no one is surprised — though with Schock, many women are disappointed, for a minute, and then after thinking about it they always, without fail say, “Yah, I always kind of thought that, but now it makes sense”.  

The GOP at large should come out in support of Kirk and Schock, in particular, and get ahead of what the Democrats have planned.  Just imagine THAT.  The Republican party standing by two men who decide to be honest with voters…instead of waiting for the National Enquirer to break some salacious story about them.  

Kirk is a flawed candidate without being outed as an excuse for many not to vote for him — there is no way to underestimate the hatred this man caused in many Republicans when he voted for Cap & Tax.  THEY ARE SEETHING MAD AT HIM, and that is not going away.  The GOP needs to get behind Patrick Hughes and Kirk needs to bow out and get his life together, if the Republicans want to do anything to stop Alexi Giannoulias, THE MOB BANK’S CANDIDATE, from becoming our next Senator. 

As for Schock, he needs to just come out before the pictures of him in Boystown are dropped at some point in the future.  He’s safe for now, as there does not seem to be any intent to oust him from Congress in 2010…but the file’s being built on him for his expected 2014 Senate run, and Boystown in Chicago and DuPont Circle in DC are much too attractive to a young gay man not to bet that will be a VERY thick file used against him if he continues to deny who he is and set  up those Rock Hudson photo shoots poolside for the next four years. 

Both of these men need to get Howard Bragman on their speed dials…he’s the man who just helped Meredith Baxter come out, and who’s helping a major rock star come out in 2010.  

Bragman can help avert more GOP self-inflicted disasters, if only Republicans were smart enough to stop lying to their own voters.

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