Archive for December 16th, 2009
Rod Blagojevich has the biggest pair in the history of testicular fortitude
Great Merciful Zeus, if Blagojevich really does this, we will have to hang a photo of him in our Hall of Heroes here at Buzzquarters.
He’s threatening to call Dr. Utopia himself to the stand if he’s forced to go to trial. The White House will refuse to cooperate, of course, and it will be a bigger debacle for them than “the most transparent administration in history” refusing to send Desiree Rogers to Congress to answer questions about her gross incompetence.
Just imagine Dr. and Mrs. Utopia having to appear in Court to testify…Rahm Emanuel on the stand, sweating his Max Factor to ruin like a whore in church…Valerie Jarrett rambling incoherently, making up lies, and being completely unsympathetic and unbelievable, like she always is.
It would be popcorn-munching, everyone get together for a party, MUST SEE TV.
If he really and truly does this, it would be the stuff of legend.
Go, Blago, Go!
Hillary Clinton's approval rating at 75%
Hillary Clinton’s approval rating is at 75%.
For those concern trolls out there who like to come here and say “She should have stayed in the Senate”, there’s no way in Hell her approval would be at 75% if she had to be caught up in the Stimulus Spending, Cap & Tax, and Utopiacare domestic policy madness.
Whatever Secretary Clinton wants to do in the future, she is being well served in the hearts and minds of Americans in her position at State.
She travels the world and looks presidential. Newsweek just ranked her as one of the 10 people who changed the way the world thinks about certain issues this decade: because of her, it is now common and unremarkable to think about the next president being female. Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton did that.
We hope every day Democrats realize she should have been elected president in 2008…we would all be in much better shape today.
But, we truly do believe, we’re in better shape globally right now because HRC rose to the occasion and answered the call to duty and took the position at State. She is the sole grown-up and voice of reason in an immature and reckless administration.
Thank Heaven for Hillary Clinton, is all we can say.
75% of the country seems to agree.
Bet Charlie Crist never expected to hate being spanked by a total babe like Marco Rubio
Charlie Crist, orange former patron of the Green Iguana in Tampa, has more likely than not fantasized about being pantsed, then spanked over the knee by a total babe like Marco Rubio (“Oh, I’ve been a bad, bad governor!”). Just look at that dreamboat. He’s a former Florida Speaker of the House, and he’s invited to come speak at our house any damn time he wants. Great Merciful Zeus, we look at that man and think, “He’d sure look great standing next to Sarah Palin as her VP pick in 2012″.
He just has to win this Senate seat first…and then we hope he gets to campaign for Vice President. If anyone dares criticize him, it would be exactly the same amount of time in office that Dr. Utopia spent in the Senate before he started running for President (essentially, Dr. Utopia started running the day after he was sworn in…or, more accurately, he really started the day he made his speech at Kerry’s 2004 Boston convention).
It’s hilarious to us that “political experts” insisted Charlie Crist would win this nomination “in a landslide”. But, these are the same experts who bought his sham wedding to the novelty-and-fake-beards heiress Carole Rome. Those fools will believe anything. Disney has its “Princess Collection” of iconic tiara-wearing heroines; American politics and pop culture has its own collection of Bearded Ladies, for want of a better term. Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, Kelly Preston, Amy Rule, random big-busted women assigned to poolside Aaron Schock duty, and now Carole Rome. Carefully crafted props and characters one and all.
Wave if you're fabulous!
The second least-believable wedding of all time.
How Crist thought he could become the next Senator from Florida, let alone the nominee, is just beyond us. Contrary to what political experts think, it was his sham wedding that finally did him in with most people we know. We haven’t seen anything that ridiculous and unbelievable since the Gruesome Foursome assembled for Liza Minnelli’s own sham; Crist thought he’d end the innuendo about him and his Green Iguana antics by saying “I do” to Rome, but his wedding was so ridiculous people who never talked about Crist before started laughing at him (in the way the Tom Cruise jumping up and down on the couch for Katie Holmes episode remains so funny).
Voters saw Crist give more goo-goo eyes to Dr. Utopia when he visited Florida than he ever gave to his wife. Voters remember that, and everyone who’s tied themselves so much to Utopia will go down in 2010. It looks like it’s catching up to Crist already.
Which is a good thing.
The Third Day of Obamamas
Everyone sing along!
On the Third Day of Obamamas, ‘The Lightbringer” promised me:
- Three coal-producing states put out of business
- Two tubs of purple zombifying Kool-Aid
AND
- A unicorn in an ACORN tree
*******
For those of you who are too RAAACIST to know this, Obamamas is the new national holiday honoring our current president, Dr. Utopia, The Lightbringer. The motto of Obamamas is not only “Jesus Who?” but “Christmas is RAAACIST And so are all you People” (C.R.A.P. for short).
Obamamas is a total C.R.A.P. holiday – celebrated with a large aluminum Grievance Pole staged in the center of your living room. Upon it, you will display an empty suit honoring Dr. Utopia, the Lightbringer. You will perform various rituals around this pole every hour, on the hour, to prove how not-RAAACIST you all are. Al Sharpton, Henry Gates, and Jesse Jackson are watching, so you best get to it. Obamamas isn’t going to just Obamamas itself.
Anyone who can help photoshop some images to go along with the 12 Days of Obamamas, starting with “A Unicorn in an ACORN tree”, would be much appreciated.
Question of the Day: Is it appropriate to call Sarah Palin "The Arctic Fox"?
Increasingly, we’re seeing “The Arctic Fox” used as a nickname for Sarah Palin in the MSM. The people using it mean it as a sincere term of endearment…she’s smart, she’s the former governor of our only Arctic state, and she’s great-looking. We like the imagery of it better than “Sara Barracuda”, though we think that’s a great nickname too, one that Palin has endorsed herself through the years.
We wonder how you feel about “Arctic Fox” though.
Do you think it demeans her as a woman at all, because “fox”, “bunny”, “chick”, etc. are animal names that usually refer to sexualized depictions of women, like what you’d find in Playboy?
Or, do you think it’s a nickname that could state the obvious — she IS one great-looking grandma — and break through to people who would otherwise not have anything good to say about her. We’re talking men who might not want to vote for a woman, but who can’t help smiling at all the imagery the “Arctic Fox” could summon.
It feels like “Arctic Fox” would be something painted on the side of military aircraft in WWII, with noseart depicting Palin with a fox heading down from Alaska to fight the good fight in the lower 48.
We’ve already said the key to 2012 will be securing stronger imagery and narrative than Dr. Utopia can muster. Alaskan animals will be strong tools for Palin: moose, eagles, fox, huskies, bears, you name it. There could be posters depicting whole stampedes of these critters heading to Washington, with Palin leading them, a la Snow White, to do their part to clean up the manure left by all of Dr. Utopia’s unicorns.
But, what do you think about the term “Arctic Fox” itself?
Our gut reaction is that it’s not a term we’d use unless the Governor used it first herself – which we’ve never seen her do. However, it IS catchy, and something that would be very effective in a campaign, we think.
What images does it conjure for you, and how do you feel about a woman being called “Arctic Fox”?
What think you?
The Red Queen, the White Queen, and Us
We saw this new trailer for Disney’s Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland — and for starters, it’s just nine shades of awesome. These will definitely be Halloween costumes next year (and yes, we pretty much do start planning next year’s costumes November 1st…it’s the biggest holiday in Boystown, and a source of great fun for us each year).
The imagery of the Red Queen and the White Queen is striking, with their respective armies and loyalists, opposing one another in Wonderland, but not so in the real world.
Some of you have frequently chided us for supporting both Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin. One particularly nasty piece of hatemail we received this week accused us of “goddess worship”, because we stand behind the two biggest female political leaders on the scene today. Some of you insist on painting Palin and Hillary as the Red and White Queens…but we don’t necessarily see them as adversaries.
Different, yes, but with the same goals: a strong and proud America, energy independent, standing up to the bullies of the world unapologetically, kicking a** and taking names, creating an economic engine that churns out new jobs and raises the standard of living for all Americans.
For the moment, Clinton has removed herself from the chess board, out of politics, so her army’s in winter quarters, waiting for her to ever again need ground support. In that meantime, many of us on Team Hillary see a political leader in Sarah Palin. We’d work hard under her standard, proudly wearing her moose logo and other emblems, because we believe in her, know her heart, and see her as the force we need to take back this country from the radical, communist, Liberal loons who occupy Washington currently.
Are there any dynamic males on the scene who could inspire this loyalty and fire in us?
If Bill Clinton was back in politics, we’d campaign for him with similar zeal. If Michael Steele would run for office, we’d work for him day and night too. There are crickets chirping as we think of other names to add here. Honestly, and this surprises even us, but if Dick Cheney would come out of retirement, we’d probably hit the ground for him: a bunch of gay guys in Boystown, Chicago campaigning to elect Dick Cheney to office. How surreal that would have seemed just two years ago…but we’d fight night and day for him if he needed it. The best Vice President we’ve had in generations, and the greatest friend the LGBTQ community has yet had in high office.
It honestly just so happens that the two most dynamic forces in politics at the moment are women, Hillary and Palin. Add onto that the simple fact that both are people we believe in, both are women who connect with us, on personal levels, and inspire in us the fire to help them achieve whatever they’ve set out to do.
Is part of this because all of us grew up with strong grandmothers, mothers, aunts, cousins, nuns, and female teachers? That HAD to influence us. Our grandmothers ran their own businesses. Our mothers worked just as hard as our fathers, and in many cases worked HARDER while our fathers ran off and had fun in extended Peter Pan complexes. Those nuns who taught us from kindergarten through high school graduation can never be discounted either: they were women with purpose and high standards, who never got sick, never gave up, never complained, and always had their eyes set straight ahead, focused on their goals.
So, when strong, determined, smart, articulate, passionate, and inspiring women stand up in the political arena and provide the leadership this country needs, it’s natural for us to gravitate towards them…to volunteer for them…to work hard under their standards.
There is no male Democrat better than Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, including her husband.
There is no male Republican better than Sarah Palin.
The two of them are the very best their parties have to offer.
They are the two best forces in American politics today…and unlike in Wonderland, they are not naturally adversarial. They COULD be, if 2012 shapes up to be the Clinton-Palin battle we want it to be, guaranteeing the 45th President of the United States is female, with a strong woman we believe in cleaning up Dr. Utopia’s mess regardless of which one wins.
We’d stand with Clinton in that event, but would also be standing in Washington on the National Mall cheering for Palin on Inauguration Day if she won that epic battle.
Not because we just blindly support female candidates (look at the Claire McCaskills, Jan Schakowskys, HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedys, Barbara Boxers, Kay Bailey Hutchinsons, and other women we can’t stand), but because these two happen to be the very best on the scene.
Question of the Day: Are Democrats delusional about 2010?
Here’s something we’ve been puzzling over: are Democrats delusional about 2010?
We keep seeing article after article in the MSM along the meme of “2010 won’t be like 1994″. These people insist, over and over, that Americans are not going to punish Democrats for all the crazy things they’ve been up to since Dr. Utopia took office.
They seem to believe that 2008 was the year America shifted Left, and that Americans are secretly thrilled with everything that’s been going on these last 11 months.
We don’t believe that to be the case at all.
1994 was a reaction to the Clintons, with the country thinking they had moved too far left when they campaigned as centrists. Dr. Utopia claimed to be a centrist, but anyone paying attention knows he is the most radical leftist to ever run for, let alone win, the presidency. His entire Chicago team brought to Washington is leftist-palooza. There is not one person we know who is happy with the Utopiacare takeover of healthcare. Despite the MSM’s best interests to kill the story, people we know are talking about Climategate, and how Democrats have been lying to them for years. People are talking about Democrats threatening to close military bases in Nebraska if Senator Nelson does not vote for Utopiacare…they are actually playing politics with jobs and national security on their fool’s quest to nationalize 1/6 of the American economy.
In 1994, there was not anger like this, palpable and real, so in your face. That was our senior year of high school for most of us. We remember Newt Gingrich coming seemingly out of nowhere with The Contract for America, and people racing to get behind that and dump the Democrats.
We believe early next year, Sarah Palin will come up with something similar, and her supporters will dovetail with the tea party crowd and push a great resistance to everything Dr. Utopia and his band of lunatics is doing. We think she will eminently be more successful than Gingrich, if she chooses to fill the leadership role like this.
Palin just needs to come up with something simple regular Americans can wrap their heads around — with a catchphrase they can repeat, but on bumper stickers, and shout loudly at rallies and town hall meetings. “Hope!” and “Change!” were very effective tools last year. No one, to this day, knows what they mean, but it sure got idiots revved up for Dr. Utopia. “Contract with America” was also a great tool: though people might not have known what it meant, it sure sounded important…and made people feel Republicans were going to do something considered and well-planned to get America back on course again. It sounded like they knew what they were doing and could be trusted, after people felt betrayed by the Clinton administration’s lurch to the left.
So, we don’t know if the MSM is operating a deliberate misinformatin campaign, or if they, like Democrats, are just delusional in thinking “2010 won’t be so bad” for them. Unemployment was 7% back in 1994. It’s 15% now, and 25-30% in some big cities. People we know who have NEVER struggled to pay bills are having to eat Ramen noodles and learn to sew because they can’t afford to buy new clothes. People we know are having mini-nervous breakdowns every day because they can’t go on vacation, can’t afford cable TV, can’t go out to dinner anymore. And these are the people who still have jobs! We didn’t see ANYTHING like that in 1994.
People are mad. While they suffer, the White House hosts lavish parties, and Democrats flit around spending more and more money on junk, wasting resources, and hobbling together secret, incompetent plans to raise health premiums and destroy healthcare as we know it.
Maybe the MSM wants Republicans and Independents to sit their butts home and not vote in 2010. We’re moderate Democrats here in Illinois who plan on voting straight ticket Republican next year to teach the DNC a strong lesson. The Liberal radicals in charge now need to get the boot…and we think Americans at large are going to send that same message, no matter what the MSM says now.
What think you?
