Archive for December 13th, 2009
Sarah Palin prevents gay men from dating
So, this was a totally unexpected and heated discussion here at Buzzquarters today.
It was precipitated by something that happened last night, when we went out to Sidetracks to hang out. Our friend Sebastian got hit on by a pretty cool Australian guy named Simon — handsome, smart, very successful, with a great job not only in the financial industry, but with close ties to the Australian Consulate. Normally, this is completely the type of guy up Sebastian’s alley: they could talk about Australia, the economy, travel, etc. They could have adventures all around town, because Australians, in general, have proved to be some of our favorite people…so fun, no pretenses, and by and large they tell it like they see it. Truth be told, Sebastian’s not the biggest fan of accents, but the Australian one is much easier to understand than the British or Irish ones, so Simon was hitting everything out of the park until he started talking about how much he hated Sarah Palin.
This is where we imagine one of those black and white clips reels they used to play in Muppet Babies cartoons, where trains would derail and airplanes crash and people would run at high speeds, to Benny Hill music, from burning buildings or other disasters.
Oh, we knew looking at Sebastian’s face that was it for Simon, in terms of wanting to date him. If you talk smack about Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin, there’s not relationship potential between you and any of us here, sorry. We can still be friends — but friends who understand that whenever you talk smack, you will get smacked down. There will never be a moment in time when we do not stand up for these two women. A group of Hell’s Angels could be doing the smack talking, and we’d stand up to them. More likely than not, we’d get the tar beat out of us for it, but so be it. We will not stand for sexism and misogyny from anyone. Not ever. Not on our watch.
Simon didn’t toss out the usual gay male grenades at Palin: calling her a C***, a B****, a W****, or a G****** (just threw that last one in to see if you are good at guessing what letters asterisks stand for). Typically, this is what gay men do to a women they don’t like, even if they have no idea why they don’t like her. ”Oh, she’s such a C****. I just hate her. That f***ing G******.” ”Oh, Brenden, you tell ‘em!”. ”Oh, Paris, don’t worry, I totally will.” ”That is SO GaGa.” “I know, right?”.
These low-information fops can go on for hours in this vein. Welcome to Boystown!
So, the lot of us here had a talk tonight and realized that living in Boystown, and being a gay man in a liberal stronghold, means two things are incompatible:
(1) Our support for Sarah Palin and love of the Palin family at large
(2) Our dating of other gay men in a liberal bastian
Is Sarah Palin worth not dating? If supporting her means not going out with anyone for the next two years, are we willing to do that?
Honest to goodness, none of us had to pause for even a split second to think about that.
Yes, of course she’s worth it.
Liberals have so alienated us from the Democrats, have so pushed us away from the party we used to call home, have so disgusted us with their sexist and misogynist behavior, and have attacked us so often over the last two years for not bowing down to Dr. Utopia that we honestly don’t care what these lunatics do next. Bring it. BRING IT ON.
We need to just start wearing the Palin 2o12 moose logo shirts now. What are we waiting for. We’ll mix it up a little and get some Clinton 2012 gear too….just in case. Green shirts for Palin…pink ones for Hillary. Because getting away from the usual red and blue for political colors gets more attention. Trust us. After campaigning in something like 27 states, combined, we learned that lesson.
Wearing the Palin 2012 gear would actually make things easier for us, too, in a weird way. It would keep people who are Utopians from ever talking to us in the first place. If they hate Palin so much and worship at Dr. Utopia’s altar with such zeal, then it’s probably best if they don’t even introduce themselves to us. This way, we never have to like someone for 20 minutes, only to have to walk away from him when we find out he’s a Palin hater.
We do hope the Palins at some point realize having a group of gay Chicago dudes on their campaign is a pretty good idea…because we’re willing to put everything on the line for her 2012 race…and this time, we’d like actual jobs doing that.
If you like what we do in our spare time to promote her, just imagine what we could do if we had actual resources and this is what we did all day, nonstop.
Could get interesting…and you know we’d work our hearts out.
Dates be damned!
Michelle Obama reveals true meaning of Christmas: giving her stuff
First Lady Michelle Obama: What are you gonna get me? You should feel pressure.
- as broadcast in the Oprah White House Special, 12/13/09
Ah, the true meaning of Christmas, as boiled down to its barest essence, thanks to our gracious and thoughtful current first lady.
“What are you gonna get me? You should feel pressure,” everyone!
Question of the Day: When will the Obama Cult of Personality collapse?
Our question today, in light of the Obamamas “Christmas is RAAACIST and so Are all of you People (C.R.A.P.) special airing with Oprah on ABC (the All-Barack Channel) tonight, is just when, exactly, the carefully crafted and MSM manufactured Obama Cult of Personality will collapse?
We see all of this as not so much Kim or Mao, or anything banana republic, but the precipitous fall people like the Spice Girls, Tom Cruise, and the Taco Bell Chihuahua have taken when the public, at last, woke up from zombiehood and decided they didn’t want to be force-fed any more media appearances, press avails, glossy magazine coverage, or souvenir merchandise pertaining to the latest fad.
Now, some of you will say, “it’s already happening”. If so, how? The MSM seems as driven as ever in its promotion of this Cult. It’s the same thing with the Church of Global Warming. Dissenters are verboten. Heretics are scolded, excoriated, and labeled RAAACISTS!
We believe the engine is still strongly pumping. Dr. Utopia just got the Nobel Prize last week. The Nobel Prize for AWESOMENESS. Fountains of purple Kool-Aid gush and gurgle their Lethe-tinged fluid for billions worldwide to slurp, gulp, and bathe in. Simultaneously.
But, the Spice Girls fell from the charts.
Tom Cruise jumped up and down on Oprah’s couch, declared war on Brooke Shields (and, by proxy, his own relevance), and revealed himself as the Scientology whackadoodle the world now knows him to be.
People got sick of little dogs either selling tacos or living in Paris Hilton’s…wait for it…purse. Wash your minds out with soap.
Will Dr. Utopia’s downfall be his own making like Cruise: doing something that goes too far into the realm of the ridiculous or inappropriate the makes even his defenders say, ENOUGH BE ENOUGH! THE FOOL’S GONE DAMN SKIPPY! If so, what could that be?
Will the Cult of Personality collapse under its own weight of overextension and overexposure, like Spice World? If so, how do you think it will happen and why?
Will people just get so sick of seeing Dr. Utopia’s grinning, idiot mug everywhere that they start having a viscerally bad reaction to him, like what happens to talking dogs, ridiculous catchphrases, and other marketing tools that saturate consumer awareness, then actually erode their brands once the public gets “sick of this C.R.A.P.”? If so, how do you think that will go down?
What think you?
Praise be! Joyous Obamamas to Us All!
Today, December 13th, a terrible injustice has been remedied by the White House.
In this, the thousand-year Golden Age of Hope and Change, no longer shall a squealing infant swaddled in a manger two-thousand some years back, as the Delorean rockets, be the center of attention.
Attention shall be placed, as it should be, according to Oprah and the MSM, on THE LIGHTBRINGER…THE ONE…our illustrious current president, the most famous person in the world, DR. UTOPIA.
Praise Him, oh children. Sing hosannas for today is a day to honor Him. The plan is, ultimately, for EVERY day to honor Him thus, but for now we are starting with December 13th, as directed by the White House Special Office of Orwellian Compliance.
Tonight, Dr. Utopia will take over the TV again, for maybe the second or third time since breakfast, to tell us all about how much he loves living in the People’s House. “My house now. Got a better deal on it than anything Tony Rezko ever gave me, too. Heh, heh, heh,” Dr. Utopia reportedly says during tonight’s Oprah-tastic Obamamas special, entitled Christmas is Raaacist As are all you People…or, C.R.A.P. for short.
The C.R.A.P. special being shown for Obamamas tonight on ABC (the All-Barack-Channel) seeks to achieve the following goals, all to better honor our first admittedly biracial president:
(1) To promote the display and use of the Obamamas Pole, an aluminum pole of sturdy design that must be centered in the middle of your living room, taking up as much space as possible, to signify the role Dr. Utopia wants to play in your lives, forever the center of your attention, the master of your domain.
(2) To represent Dr. Utopia in your home, you will purchase a fine expensive suit from a foreign country, place it on an expensive foreign-made hanger, and then raise the suit onto its perch on the Obamamas Pole. The suit is completely empty, of course. Though expensive, you will never talk about how much the DNC paid for it, or any suits worn by Dr. Utopia, but will instead harass your neighbors for how much they spent on their clothes. “Who bought that for you? You spent too much!”, you will harangue. Meanwhile, you will construct spotlights to illuminate the Obamamas Pole and Empty Suit of Dr. Utopia, like the kliegs lighting the pillars of Greek temples in Denver at night.
(3) As with Muhammad, no photo or painting of Dr. Utopia can be used. Only the Empty Suit. Depicting his face is a crime against the new religion of Hope and Change.
(4) Food that will be served to honor Dr. Utopia includes, but is not limited to: ACORN cookies, arugula and acorn salad with bitter, clinging Midwestern vinaigrette, Kobe beef of unknown country of origin, bathtubs full of purple Kool-Aid laced with anything you believe can create zombies.
(5) The Airing of Grievances shall commence around the Obamamas Pole once everyone has eaten all the food, not thanked anyone for the hard work, refused to pay the bill, failed to tip, and left a giant mess for someone else to clean up — just like the crowds did to the National Mall on Inauguration Day! Grievances shall be voiced regarding who has kept you down this year, who’s plotting against you, and who is preventing you from having things you don’t actually work to get. This can take all day, or a lifetime, depending on how much material you have to fester.
(6) The ceremonial Wearing of Upholstery Fabric and Giant Belts is a fashion parade around the Obamamas Pole, where sloppily made and ill-fitting dresses of every color in the ugliest rainbow ever imagined are draped and stapled to your bodies, while you scowl at each other (and neighbors through the open windows), telling everyone how proud you are that people finally treat you like the fashion icon you are in your own delusional head. If you have any silk handy, fart loudly and proudly through it. For the first time in your adult life. Try your level best to blend in with any cat urine stained sofas that might be in your building.
(7) Give cheap, inappropriate gifts to people who have always been good to you. Give comic books or VHS tapes to blind people. Give octogenarians small, difficult to use, electronic devices. Take expensive and thoughtful gifts away from people who deserve them, and smash them to pieces before throwing whatever’s still valuable into the garbage. Lather, rinse, redistribute.
(8) Find your unicorn, and ride it around the Obamamas Pole, singing a song like this:
(9) Look out your window until you spot someone who is not at home doing 1-8 around their own Obamamas Pole. Call that person, or persons, a RAAACIST as loud as you can. Wail, cry, roll around on the floor, and fudge your diapers. For the rest of the day, introduce yourself to anyone you meet as “eminent Harvard professor Henry Gates”.
(10) Make a concerted effort to think of other ways to honor Dr. Utopia today, and list them in this thread.
Together, we can make the celebration of Obamamas the soul-healing national holiday the MSM and White House puppet masters want it to be.
The motto of today might be “Jesus Who?”, but the spirit will always remain “Yes, We Can!”
Sunday Open Thread: December 13th, 2009
What’s on your mind this Sunday?
Besides, of course, how excited you are to celebrate the very first OBAMAMAS!
Happy Obamamas everyone! May your unicorns be plentiful and your Hope and Change spring eternal!
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Here’s an example of the tabloids actually being better reporters than the “real news”. A few days ago, we told you about an article we saw in the Globe or National Examiner, about Queen Elizabeth II prepping Prince William to follow her on the throne, bypassing Prince Charles — whome the tabloids claim has dementia, and will soon be unable to fulfill his duties. Well, today Drudge ran as its headline “Prince William to Share Queen’s Duties”.
Naturally, Rahm Emanuel’s response was, “Bitch, please. I don’t care who Prince William thinks he is, he ain’t gonna share NOTHING with me. I’m White House Chief of Staff, and the only thing I share is tubs of popcorn with hunky secret services agents when we go to movies here in DC on Saturday nights, and then pretend we didn’t.”
When informed he wasn’t the queen that Drudge was talking about, Emanuel insisted, “Well, I’m still not sharing anything with Prince William, except, of course, a hot tub if the opportunity ever arose. I may be old, haggard, gross and foul-mouthed, but I ain’t dead yet”.
The passing of the torch to William is interesting on many levels (and worthy of more discussion later), but for the moment we’re struck by the fact it was the tabloids that led this story, and were right about it, long before the “real news” caught up.
The same thing happened with John Edwards, his affairs, and love child…and the tabloids were truthful about Ted Kennedy’s illness and imminent death when the “real news” was still claiming he was getting better (and Harry Reid insisted “his cancer is in remission”).
What else are the tabloids right about that the “real news” isn’t reporting, or will never report?
Tabloids have been talking about the current president having lung cancer, discuss his drug use in great depth, and delve into all of Larry Sinclair’s allegations. They’ve been running stories on Oprah having only three years left to live., too. We remember a few here and there talking about Nancy Pelosi being sick, too.
Increasingly, it seems that if you want to get a real handle on what’s going on, you need to search for oddball sources apart from your TV or what the MSM and print media are telling you. They seem to lie about a lot of things by omission.
******
Here’s a Boystown update for you, based on last night’s adventures out with friends.
At Sidetracks, Panda was disappointed he didn’t get a Julia Sugarbaker-worthy show when the lot of us were standing in Cherry Bar and spotted Sebastian’s ex, David, walk in and head right passed us. This is the first time, in two years, that any of us have seen David (though Sebastian himself spotted him briefly in a drug store the day after Halloween, but they didn’t make eye contact). Panda spit out his Pilsner a little, excited, saying “Oh lordy, this is going to be good. Ain’t nobody can rev our boy up like David. I got me a ring side seat for this too! Go get him, Bastion!”.
Honestly, we don’t know what Panda expected, because Sebastian and David didn’t part on bad terms…but it is strange David made the choice for them to not even remain friends after he moved out. Stranger still is the fact that none of us, together or separately, have ever run into David anywhere in Boystown. For the longest time, we all thought he moved back to Cleveland like his mother Louella wanted him to (and if you’ve been reading us, you know how we feel about her…since there were three people in that relationship, and one of them was a twice-divorced publicly shamed adulteress who meddled forever where she shouldn’t have).
Well, Sebastian went over and said hello to David — who looked great, healthy. He seemed very happy, and looked like he was doing well. The two of them talked for a bit, with Sebastian asking about David’s family, especially his nieces that had visited them when they were together. The nieces who were 11 on their trip to Chicago are now 16, which is amazing. Time flies. It seems like another lifetime ago, actually. Sebastian was especially happy to hear that David’s father is doing well, since he was so kind to Sebastian, going out of his way to make his son’s boyfriend always feel welcome at family events (he’s retired Navy, too, and probably the most supportive PFLAG dad any of us have ever known).
It was sort of like a brief reunion special to a show Sebastian was on for three years, that got canceled without a true series finale.
It’s tough and sad when exes don’t remain friends. In the LGBTQ community, most times guys pretend they’ve never met if they see each other after they’ve broken up. They think that makes things less awkward. Delete all the photos (if they took any), defriend them on Facebook, block their email, erase them from your life and never acknowledge their existance. That’s standard operating procedure in Boystown. It shouldn’t be. Sometimes, it really is impossible to stay friends with someone, depending on how bad the relationship ended — but in most cases, it would be nice if two people who cared about each other once could keep a little bit of that caring current, and take their relationship down to friend status…not stranger.
Your exes should almost always warrant “stop-and-chat” status. Eye contact, a smile, a kind word, a hug. You don’t have to get dinner. You don’t have to make future plans.
Maybe there will be a little bit of “The Way We Were” in Cherry Bar, which seems predestined since so much Streisand has been absorbed into the wood of Sidetracks by way of Monday showtunes sing-a-longs. We saw a touch of that in Sebastian standing there with David last night, beng nice to each other, smiling, hugging, then moving on. When he came back to the table he was still smiling, and said how happy he was that they did the stop-and-chat.
“I wish you two had started fighting,” Panda interjected.
“I’m glad we didn’t. There was enough of that. I have never wished him ill. He drove me up the wall crazy with his Asperger’s, and his mother Louella was flat out evil to me on pretty much a daily basis, but I loved the guy. I want him to publish his book and I will buy it. He wants to be a writer and I hope he gets there. It was nice to see him. It really was”.
We guess we’ve shared this to remind you that you always have a choice in how you deal with anyone. You can lead with kindness and love, or you can be a bitter old queen. Life’s too short to Louella your way through it. If you’ve ever said “I love you” to someone, you need to say “hello” to him years later when you see him again. Never pretend you don’t know him. Never avoid the stop-and-chat.
Especially not at Christmas.
Be excellent to one another.
‘Tis the season.
*******
‘Tis the season for a lot of things red and green, including this latest Rasmussen approval rating freefal for the current illustrious president. On this, the first annual Obamamas (the day celebrated with many new mandatory holiday festitivies to honor the Lightbringer), more people can’t stand his socialist agenda than ever before. There is a WHOPPING 19 point gap between those who strongly approve of this man and those who strongly disapprove of him.
The more people get to know Dr. Utopia, the more they don’t like him. No surprise there to those of us from Chicago who did everything we could to warn you about him before you went to those ballot boxes and it was too late.
Is there anything you can think of that would turn these numbers around for the White House? Bush’s numbers rose after 9/11, but we don’t think a national disaster like that would make people like Dr. Utopia more. With Bush, 9/11 forced him out from under the cloud of the Recount and into the light as the strong and determined resolute leader he always was…but that we did not see. George W. Bush served America well during that crisis, and the public felt safe with a strong Texan at our helm during those dark days. THAT’S why his approvals skyrocketed, not because of the attack, but his RESPONSE to it.
Heaven help us if anything bad happens in the next three years. Dr. Utopia will want to “hug it out” if Muslims kill more of our citizens. He’ll want to “consider all options and wait seven weeks” before making a decision, while people drown in a flood or are eaten by sea monsters. As we’ve said before, we should all be grateful this man was not president on 9/11. He would have told the world how much America deserved what it got that day, and how much Muslims are misunderstood. “Islam is the religion of peace. This man-mad disaster is a disaster of peace. America needs to be humbled, so this is a wonderful thing on a wonderful day. We must all respect Islam,” is what we imagine him saying, his wife at his side, scowling, proud of herself for being proud of what happened to America for the first time in her adult life.
******
Update on Chicago Nationality Experts:
So, last night, as noted above, we went to Sidetracks. It was Sebastian, Robby, Panda, and Joaquin. Yet again, three different guys, at three different times, came up to Sebastian and started conversations with him. He liked all three, but then all three pulled the “What’s your nationality?” or “What’s your ethnicity?” garbage.
It is most definitely a qualifier, as we have discussed before, and as many of you have commented on.
What was interesting about last night was that it was like going shark cage diving in the Farallons, recording the whole thing, but with sparkle and glitter instead of chum in the water. There we were, on our little island in the sea of cruising, at a small table in Cherry Bar, and the guys would circle around on fruit loops (what we call the circuit you make through a bar, going through all the rooms, up and down the stairs, and then back around again to see who’s there and if there’s anyone interesting…because Sidetracks is so big, it’s quite a loop and could take you a good 15-20 minutes to make it around), some of them stopping to talk to Sebastian. Normally, when people pull this “Nationality Expert” stuff on him, we only get to hear about it, never witness it…but last night we were most definitely in that shark cage taking notes.
One of the guys was Andy, a fourth grade teacher, who looked about 30.
Another was Simon, an Australian investment banker who’s 45.
The last “Nationality Expert” was Daniel, a Polish soccer player (recent immigrant), 28.
Andy was the one Sebastian liked most, and got along with the best. He was interesting, talked about current events, talked about gay culture, made a compelling argument against gay guys being too into showtunes (which mortified Panda, but was interesting), and didn’t ask the “what do you do?” qualifier at all. After talking to Sebastian for a while, he left to go talk to a friend of his that walked by, but came back later in the night to pick up where he left off. It was on this second stopover on the island that he asked, nonsequitor, “What’s your background?”. “Oh no he didn’t,” Panda mumbled, as Robby shushed him so events could play out without us interfering. Sebastian answered “American”, and Andy didn’t accept that as good enough and pressed it, with the cliche, “No, where is your family from?”. That got the “Ohio” response, and we saw on Sebastian’s face he was frustrated and over Andy. He politely excused himself to use the washroom, said it as nice to meet Andy, and we knew he’d disappear until Andy figured out he wasn’t coming back and that he should leave. “He isn’t coming back, so you should leave now, Nationality Expert,” Panda scolded him, when Sebastian was out of earshot. “And your shirt’s ugly. Go home and rethink what you ask people while rethinking that outfit”. Robby shushed Panda some more, which is, apparently, Robby’s role in these outings. “Stop shushing me! I got stuff to say!”
The Australian, Simon, was the most interesting Nationality Expert last night. He lost Sebastian when it turned out Simon, though Australian, is a Liberal Democrat, who hates Republicans. If you have been reading us long, you know we are all lifelong Democrats who used to hate Republicans ourselves, until June 8th, 2009, the day we started volunteering for the McCain campaign. In years past, we walked out on blind dates with Republicans, who we didn’t know were Republican at the time of the blinding. Back then, if a guy supported Bush, it was “Check, please!”. So, listening to Simon take jabs at Bush, and at Sarah Palin, was comical. “Oh lordy, you don’t know what’s coming atcha,” Panda told Simon, but the rest of us weren’t in the mood to bring out the political guns. Though this might shock you, politics is not our life 24/7. We can, and do, talk about other things. In fact, we are quite fond of having at least two or three hours a day when we’re not talking policy. Simon said he hated Palin, but didn’t attack her. THAT would have brought out the guns, because you do not attack Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, Sarah Palin, or anyone else we like in our presence without getting a real-life verbal download of HillBuzz served up RIGHT QUICK. We could see on Sebastian’s face the Simon was not going to be dating material, but he might have still been a friend, despite his Liberalism. But, then the Nationality Expert stuff came out…he asked Sebastian the fatal question, Sebastian answered “American”, and here’s where it got really interesting.
Simon said, “Oh, good answer”. He then went in to explain the reason he asked was because he wanted to see what Sebastian would say, since Simon has found Americans to be obsessed with “nationality” and have a problem identifying as American. He’s been living here for a few years, but has lived in Europe and Asia too. Simon says that nowhere else in the world do people obsess about labeling and identifying themselves and others like in America. What he finds most interesting are people who say, “Well, I am a quarter Irish, and 5/10ths Greek, and 1/3 Portuguese on my mother’s father’s dog’s side”. These people have only a vague idea of where Ireland, Greece, and Portugal even are. They could not name the leaders of those countries or even the correct capital cities if their lives depended on it. And, yet, they go through life obsessed with telling everyone they meet, “I’m part Albanian, part Turkish, part English!”. “Uh, that’s fine Miss, but I just asked you to please get off my shoelace. You’re standing on it. I don’t need to know your “nationality”, thanks”. “But, I am a Nationality Expert!”.
Simon is definitely friend material, so he got Sebastian’s number last night. We can’t see the Liberalism allowing anything more than that, but hopefully we’ll get more Aussie insight from him in the future.
The last “Nationality Expert” of the night was Daniel, from Poland, who was a really sweet guy, playing on some minor league soccer team here, who lasted about three minutes before he blurted, “Are you Middle Eastern? You have dark hair. Are you Muslim?”. “Check, please!”, Panda shouted. Daniel looked around, expecting to see someone from Prague he might know. “Where is the Czech? Do I know him?,” Daniel asked. “I have to go to the bathroom,” Sebastian trailed off saying, disappearing into the crowd as Lady GaGa’s “Bad Romance” played on the giant screens overhead.
What we learned from the three latest Nationality Experts:
* Australians don’t call themselves “Irish-Australian”, “part German, part Dutch, part whatever”, but just “Australian” when asked “What are you?”. That’s a totally acceptable answer for them to give. It’s not, however, acceptable to Nationality Experts to say “American”.
* The Nationality Question often follows the “What do you do?” and “What school did you go to?” socio-economic queries. Another one is “Where do you live?”. All of these seem to be limiters, in that if you answer them incorrectly, you aren’t dateable. What do you do? Garbage man. Check, please! Where did you go to school? Harvard. So, when do you want to go out? Where do you live? I roll on the southside. Check, please! Nationality Experts seem to have a need to figure out what sort of ethnic traditions they’d be getting into, or maybe how involved your family is in your life, so the “What’s your nationality?” question comes out. In gay circles, there’s no genetic interest in this, since there wouldn’t be kids involved…but we can imagine a woman wondering about this if she thinks a guy might be a potential father to babies that don’t exist yet. So, she would wonder what his background was…but with two guys, why does DNA matter?
* Immigrants to this country seem to try establishing a common ground with you if they think you could be an immigrant too, or have immigrant parents. So, they don’t ask to determine if you are dateable, but seem to ask so that they can endear themselves to you…as in, if they can identify some kind of immigration connected to you, then you will see them as someone you have a commonality with, and then you will want to date them.
We have no idea if you find any of this as interesting as we clearly do, but we just got so tired of finding Nationality Experts rude and jarring that we decided to make Lemoncello out of lemons and use these weird encounters in bars to learn something about our fellow Chicagoans, and why they do the damn skippy things they do.
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