Sarah Palin appears on Oprah November 16th, 2009

Please use this thread to comment on Sarah Palin’s appearance on Oprah today, which we believe is on at 4pm CST (at least it was years ago when Oprah was this relevant).  We all gave up our TVs this summer because we were so sick of the MSM that we didn’t even want Idiot Boxes in Buzzquarters anymore, but we’re at a friend’s house this afternoon watching her TV, and will do our level best, technology permitting, to live blog during the show.  It won’t be a transcript, but a running markup of our thoughts and conversation as we watch.  If it works out, maybe we’ll use the same format for other events in the future. We baked both Hillary cupcakes and our new Sarah cupcakes for the occasion (Hillary cupcakes are orange with pineapple-basil frosting and a smiling Hillary face on top; Sarah cupcakes are gingerbread with white chocolate frosting and a chocolate moose on top).  

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First up:  a word about Nielsen ratings.  Some of you are worried that watching Oprah today will boost her ratings.  What you need to remember is that this is only true if you are a Nielsen family.  

Nielsen families are chosen through some top secret process (apparently, squirrels pick their names out of a large round cage somewhere in Pasadena, around the corner from where Nancy Pelosi gets her Botox done). In the mail, they (the people chosen, not the squirrels) receive a letter asking them first if they want to participate.  If they say yes, then the next day or so a package arrives.  Inside the package, there are papers.  On the papers, there is writing.  There’s also a large journal the family has to keep for a week, writing down all the things they watch in each time slot. 

One of us here was a Nielsen family back in the 90s for a week.  We believe he was paid $5.00 for doing it, which came in an envelope inside that packet and was the most crisp, sharpest, uncirculated Lincoln he’d ever seen…almost as if it had just come off the printing press).  There was a lot of feel-good hooey in the packet too, talking about what an honor it was to help networks determine what people really watch. 

When he filled out that booklet, he made sure to say he and his family watched all the shows he liked or had actors and other people he respected in, whether he watched them for real or not.  Shows with people he didn’t like, such as Janeane Garafalo or any of the Baldwins, he just left off that booklet and instead said he was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns or something at the time (as sometimes terrible actors and people we don’t like make their way into an otherwise good show…but we’d be damned if we’d give those clowns any ratings points to further fuel their massive egos and penchant for soap box preachings to all us ignorant Midwesterners). 

Now, this was probably a decade ago — so who knows if Nielsen still does those paper books.  We imagine all of this is probably done electronically now.  

But, the point is, if you have not agreed to be a Nielsen family, it doesn’t matter what you watch or don’t watch because no one is keeping track of you.  Yet.  Give the current administration a second term, and maybe that will change. 

For now, the only way the networks know what you are watching is if you tell them by way of those booklets after the squirrels have picked your names.  The ghost of Brandon Tartikoff is not peaking at you through your window to see how much Must See TV irradiation you are getting this week, trust us. 

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This is funny, because all of us have lived in Chicago now for at least 5 years, but still think things are on the times they used to be on in Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Rochester, or San Antonio.  Like we said, the last time any of us had seen Oprah was in 2004, when we were all living elsewhere for the most part.  None of us have a TV Guide ever, and so we just assumed Oprah was on at 4pm here in Chicago like it always was back in our home states.  Apparently, that’s not true.  So we missed the Palin interview completely as it looks like Oprah airs here at the ridiculously early time at 9am.  

We have to wait until 11pm, as far as we can tell, to watch the interview.  We’ll do that, and will live blog it when it comes on, but hope the rest of you out there fill up the comments here with your take on things until we get our chance to chime in.  

Not having televisions and being totally disconnected from things like Oprah is great 98% of the time.  This is one of the few occasions in recent memory when that didn’t really work in our favor…but we will see the program, only later tonight. 

Someone out there, if you know of a way for us to watch this online or in Chicago off non-cable, regular broadcast channels tell us, as we’re eating cupcakes watching back episodes of GLEE on our computers…and if the Oprah thing can’t be worked out we feel like heading out to some bookstores to see if we can find one that broke the street date so we can get Palin’s book early today too.  

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We’re jealous Comedy Central gets to actually watch the Palin interview right now while we in Chicago have to wait until 11pm for it.  For some reason, we got a random shoutout over there for talking about Nielsen ratings and squirrels, which evidently not a lot of people know about.  Squirrels really are very useful critters.  Wish we could say the same for Oprah. 

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While waiting for Oprah to air here in Chicago, we’re eating cupcakes and looking at the newly-leaked photos of Levi Johnston in Playgirl, which came to us through Six Degrees of Kevin Aucoin here in Boystown.  Don’t get excited, no big surprises here. 

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11:06pm: Waiting for the show to start

11:07pm: My goodness, Oprah looks more terrible than usual.  She’s wearing one of Michael Jackson or James Brown’s old wigs.  How nice for her, that she got those in the wills. 

* Palin comes out to strange music.  Oprah gets right into the snub she gave Palin last year.  Palin says she didn’t let Oprah’s actions get to her.  She said, “No offense Oprah, but you weren’t the center of my universe…it’s your show, your baby, you can do what you want”.  

* Oprah talks about her decision to only have Dr. Utopia on her show during the election.  She’s wearing a dress that’s bursting at the seams, with one of Mrs. Utopia’s Klingon War Belts. 

11:10PM: Oprah asks Palin about being picked VP.  Palin says she got “the call” while at the Alaska State Fair.  Oprah interrupts, rudely, and says, “Whadda he say? You wonder if you were up for THAT job?”.  Palin tells her that she’s been the chief executive of a state, so yes, she was ready.  The McCain campaign evidently had information on Palin going all the way back to high school, knowing every event she’s been to, every sermon she’s ever heard at church, etc.  They knew about Bristol’s pregnancy, which Oprah brought up.  

* Palin said one skeleton in her closet was that she had a D in a college course once 22 years ago.  Oprah said, “Girl, weren’t you concerned about the pregnancy?”.  Palin says she wished she could have presented it in a better way that would not seem glamorous regarding teeen pregnancy.  Oprah talks about the press release the McCain campaign sent out, and Palin said that she did not approve the press release…she said the first time she saw the press release it was on TV’s news scroll.  She didn’t want the message to be “we’re happy to be grandparents”, but that we should tackle the issue of teen pregnancy.  Palin said she tried to correct that press release to change the message, but that the McCain campaign just ran what they wanted.  Bristol had to see that released via the news, which embarrassed her and put her into tears.  ”Not just Wasilla, but the whole world now knows what’s going on”.  Palin said her children should have been excluded from the controversy, but that from the get go the press made the kids part of it.  Oprah asked, “Didn’t you know the pregnancy would become an issue?”  Palin said she and McCain talked about how hard being in office is on families…not knowing how intriguing it would be for haters and critics to take glee in going at her.  Palin said she was naive to think the media would leave her kids alone because the MSM left Dr. Utopia’s kids alone —  there was a double standard there.  Oprah tried to defend Dr. Utopia, saying he told the press to layoff the kids…and Palin said that’s not what happened but that she respects him for saying that.  What’s unsaid is that the MSM was working for the Utopia campaign and if he really wanted to, he sure as Hell could have told the press to layoff those kids — he didn’t.  

* For people who don’t like Oprah, even in the slightest, we’re trying to be as objective as we can when we say this, but she really and truly does look terrible sitting there.  Like, health-problems terrible.  She’s sweaty, bloated, her wig looks horrible.  

11:19PM: Commercial break.  Ads for Steak n’ Shake, Burger King, diabetes medicine, dry cracked skin ointment, adult diapers.  Are these commercials for Oprah’s viewers, or are they geared towards Charybdis herself?

11:21PM: Oprah talks about Going Rogue and the McCain campaign telling Palin who to talk to, how to dress, what to eat and a McCain campaign person telling Palin she had to go on the Atkins diet.  Palin said there were other things to focus on besides her weight.  Oprah talks about being at the Greek Temple Crazy Fest in Denver that was the DNC Convention and seeing Palin for the first time on August 29th.  Oprah said, “Woooo, girl, I saw you and I said to Gayle, girl, wakeup, who that on TV?”  Palin said she walked into the staging area in Ohio and there was a wardrobe ready for her — never thinking it would be a controversy because there was no controversy over Dr. Utopia’s expensive suits.  No other candidate had such double standard criticism.  She also said that the McCain campaign made over the entire family, and they all felt like “did we look that bad that people had to layout all the clothes for us”.  Palin said that she appreciate Hillary Clinton with this too, because there is always an extra standard for a female candidate in that they can’t just wear the same clothes every day. 

11:24PM: Oprah’s asking about the debate prep cards Palin was given.  Palin talks about how extensively she was told to stay on script and how the McCain people were trying to control her.  Palin said it was her fault for allowing McCain’s staff to control her as much as she did.  Palin said her people never really found the script she was supposed to be on.  Oprah said, “Why you tried to go to Michigan when they told you not to, girl.”  Palin said her VP team wasn’t even made aware McCain had decided to pull out of Michigan because she and Todd thought they could have done well there.  

11:26PM:  Palin talks about the economy tanking being the fatal blast to the campaign…in that the economy tanked under a Republican Administration.  Oprah said, “Oh, I need to take a break now.  Someone in the front row has a Baby Ruth in her purse and I AM GOING TO FIND IT”.  Palin sure looks glad she didn’t bring a purse with her. 

Commercials for: Old Dogs, cheese, Huntington Learning Centers, Zicam, US Cellular

11:20PM:  Oprah said, “Oh, let’s talk about Katie Couric now. You said that was not a good interview.  What you think?”  Palin said the interview was supposed to be lighthearted, with just one segment and if it went well we would do more.  Palin said things didn’t go well and that Couric was very rude and badgering.  There were hours of tape and CBS edited them together to hurt her.  She said that CBS deliberately made her look bad in a partisan agenda. Palin said Couric’s agenda was to show her in a bad light and to make all of her mistakes known, unlike her interview with Joe Biden.  The campaign didn’t feel it was a defining moment and that it was a good interview, but Palin was made to keep doing those segments with Couric. Oprah said, “I got a clip of that interview and we gonna watch it now”.  It’s the clip of Couric getting in Palin’s face and asking her what magazines and newspapers she reads.  Oprah said, “Why didn’t you remember what magazines you read.  I read my own magazine because it is about me.  Why don’t you have your own magazine yet?”.  Palin said that no matter what she said, Couric would try to twist it. Oprah asked if Palin was annoyed with Couric.  Palin said she just came off a big rally and things were going well and she was pumped up and then Katie Couric appeared and so she had to do that interview, so that’s why she seemed revved up, because she had all that adrenaline going.  She also said that Couric kept asking the same questions over and over again, like on abortion, because Couric didn’t like the responses she got.  

1136PM:  Palin said that when she was first pregnant with Trig, she thought about what makes a woman think about abortion, because being pregnant is daunting.  She said she thought about her life and how she would tell Todd, because he was working on the slope at the time.  She said that when she told him about Trig having Downs, Todd took it better than she did and he knew  itw as going to be okay.  He said he was happy but also sad. 

Commercials:  Carpet cleaningWalt Disney World, Lowe’s

1141PM: Levi Johnston.  Oprah talks about Johnston.  Palin says that most of the discussion about Levi has to do with Trip and doesn’t think national TV is the place to talk about him.  She says that Johnston is going by the name Ricky Hollywood now and that he’s working in porn…he has not seen the baby in a while because of his media tours…Palin says that she prays for Levi.  Oprah says, “You are a public person.  There are circles.  And Levi is in another circle talking to circles.  You pissed?”.  Palin said that his handlers have been telling him to say false things, based on foundations of untruths.  Palin is aware of all the lies that Levi has been saying.  Palin says that Levi’s gig is to spread lies and inconsistencies and that he is not on a healthy road, that he is a teenager who doesn’t know what he is doing and doesn’t see how he is being used.  Bristol has Trip 24/7 and realizes she has it easier than most with all the family support — her public mission is to remind her sisters and other young women that there are consequences to unprotected sex.  Oprah then asks, ‘Will Levi be invited to Thanksgiving Dinner, cause if he’s not coming, can I have his plate?”. Palin says that Levi needs to know he doesn’t have to come down a road of controversy or drama and that there is an inviation to come to Aunt Katie’s house (the Palin relative that hosts Thanksgiving) for the holidays.

11:46PM: commercials — Twilight, Wal-Mart, Oprah’s Oscar winners and nominees, Brooke Shields eating celery for Colgate, Janet Jackson on ABC talking about Michael, Jersey Boys leaving Chicago, Subway sandwiches “Chicken Marina Melt”, that shoe commercial where the shoes pretend they are the Sex And the City Girls and the Samantha shoe is vulgar, Chicago Holiday Light Festival

11:48PM:  Ducks quacking…Wasilla sign…video of Palin with baby Trig (he is SO CUTE!)…Todd playing with Trig…Piper going to school…Palin and Piper going to the gym…Palin with the McCains on campaign bus…then in her SUV saying it’s nice not to be handled and to be able to go where she wants to go…it’s Halloween so they are making caramel apples…the Palin parents are there…sister Molly…baby Trig dressed as a chicken….Piper is dressed as a motor cycle ninja…Palin takes her trick or treating…we swear Piper Palin will be president herself some day…that little girl is so smart and has such an energy to her. 

11:51PM:  Oprah asked, “Why Todd gone so much.  You like that?”  Palin explains to her that Todd has a job and is away working a lot, and that’s what life in Alaska is like because of the work there.  Oprah, still sniffing for that BabyRuth bar, has trouble paying attention (yet sweats effortlessly). 

11:52PM: Commericals — for some kind of video game, Princess and the Frog, Elmer’s Glue

11:54pm:  Oprah is talking about McCain’s concession speech…and why Palin didn’t get to speak.  ”You looked sad, girl”.  Palin explained that she wanted to win the election and that is why she was sad…and that McCain’s team said that VP candidates don’t give speeches, but that John Edwards gave one in 2004.  Palin said there were things that she wanted to say.  Oprah then brings up the fact Palin has five children and asks how she would have managed that and being VP or President….and then acknowledges that male candidates are never asked that question.  Palin said she was asked that question all along and that men work and run families….Oprah said, “Girl, but they got wives”….and Palin notes that she has a husband who is an excellent father…and that she has been in politics for a long time and that she is a believer in making the right choices that are appropriate at the time and what her support system is.  She says her support system would blow people away because of all the aunts and uncles and friends and parents and the what not.  So that’s how she can handle anything.  Oprah still doesn’t know why Palin stepped down as Governor.  Palin said she was not going to run for a second term and knew she came back from the campaign trail with nonstop Obama operation researchers to start constant ethics violation charges and wasteful efforts against her.  Oprah has a hard time understanding this.  Oprah asks her if she’s looking forward to 2012, and Palin said that in 2012 Lil’ Trig is going to be starting kindergarten.  Palin said that she is focused on making a difference and using the years ahead to affect positive change.  

12:02AM:  Commercials: sandwiches, GE appliances, Walmart, Chase Bank

12:03: “Girl one final question: should I be worried you gonna get a talk show, because I will cut you.”  Palin tells Oprah that she is the Queen of Talk Shows…and then takes a little jab at the McCain campaign and says Oprah can’t shut off her mic (like McCain’s staff did on Election Night when they didn’t want Palin to talk at the Biltmore Hotel).  Palin says the book talks alot about all the things she was able to do ‘Thanks to God and Todd”.  Oprah holds up the book Going Rouge then gives a shoutout to Willow and Piper who were in the audience, and that’s a wrap.