Archive for November 11th, 2009
The latest ridiculous attack on Sarah Palin in Chicago: Oprah's audience complains they didn't get any free books
Dear Schaumburg Oprah Audience Members: the reason you did not find this book under your seats is because it has not been released yet. Grow up now, please.
Seriously, of all the ridiculous things that are said about Sarah Palin, this one takes the cake.
Sarah Palin was in town today to tape her appearance on Oprah, which will air on Monday of next week.
Next TUESDAY Palin’s book, Going Rogue, drops in bookstores.
Apparently, Oprah didn’t explain that to her studio audience…which are largely women from Schaumburg who root under their chairs at Harpo Studios for freebies like hounds after truffles…or Oprah on the scent of a Twix bar in an old lady’s purse.
Today, we must have heard 25 times already how “cheap” Oprah’s audience has been complaining Palin was not to give them any free books. Uh, those would be the books Palin’s not allowed by her publisher to pass out until the contractually mandated street date.
For people who claim they hate Palin so much and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE their Oprah, the residents of Schaumburg sure seem conflicted here: why would they have wanted copies of a book none of them claim they want to read?
To sell on eBay before the drop date, maybe?
The NBC affiliate here in Chicago, NBC-5, is one of the most worthless stations on the air. Watching it is like sitting through a kindergarten production of the news, done as farce, and stage-managed by someone in a coma.
They ran a litle blurb about Palin being in Chicago, with some idiot on the street saying, “Oh, I saw her! I saw her! She was here! Oprah asked her if she was going to get a talk show too and Palin didn’t deny it! Then Oprah asked her if she was going to run for President in 2012 and Palin said she didn’t have that on her radar! And then she didn’t give anyone any of her books! Then she drove away in a big car!”
Please.
And the reporter came back on to stress that Palin didn’t give anyone any books.
Then she made this pouty face, like Palin had just spoiled everyone’s Christmas.
This is the same kind of crap that’s been done to Hillary Clinton for the last 20 years. Neither she nor Palin can ever win with these people.
Why can't Jill Biden take Mrs. Utopia shopping sometime?
One of these things is not like the others.
Jill Biden might be married to an ice cream snarfing, ridiculous man-child, but the woman, in her rare public appearances as Second Lady, is second to none in her attire. She is always appropriately dressed, never wears Halloween costumes other than October 31st, and, to our knowledge, doesn’t actively try to make herself look enciente with bastions of bulbous belts.
For the record, she also doesn’t pal around with grown-ass women who think they’re Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz…whose bright red shoes seem inappropriate for an appearance at Arlington National Cemetery.
Honestly, we’ve said this before but will say it again, one of the biggest breaks Mrs. Utopia caught in 2008 is when Mr. Blackwell died. That man could have filled one of his Worst Ever lists with things the current First Lady has worn this week, alone.
Not even in the heart of the Klingon Empire itself would today’s getup be appropriate. That hair. That belt. Those boots. That coat. bachHa’!
What’s really sad to us is that this is a woman who could look very pretty if she only had better people dressing her. People who don’t hate her.
For an appearance at Arlington on Veterans’ Day, appropriate attire would have been a long black coat, black shoes, her hair nicely combed, with perhaps a red, white, and blue scarf of some kind to add some patriotic color.
Somber events and funerals are not the time for “Lookit Me!”, no matter how much Mrs. Utopia wants them to be. This isn’t quite as bad as the Sophie Theallet giant bow dress she wore to get extra attention at Ted Kennedy’s funeral this summer, but it’s up there.
At least she didn’t wear her favorite dress again, though:
********
UPDATE: We’re surprised to see this bit on AOL today, in the Style section, where the author, clearly an Obot, also criticizes Mrs. Utopia for that Klingon death belt…there’s a vague reference to the tourquoise being out of place at a Veterans’ Day event, but the author quickly points out that she, herself, loves tourquoise…even if nobody else around you for miles is wearing bright colors.
The author cannot, however, explain or excuse away that hideous belt. Try as she wants to.
Republicans would be smart to blame Dr. Utopia on the Media — and in particular, Oprah
"Did I do that?"
Here in Boystown, we’ve noticed people are loathe to admit they were wrong about most things unless they have somoene they can blame it all on. They need a convenient scapegoat who “tricked them” in some way, or else they’ll just keep defending whatever bad decision they made — lest they be forced to admit they were just plain stupid.
Over the months, many LGBTQ have come to realize electing Dr. Utopia was an enormous mistake, though they aren’t ready to admit it yet. But their feelings on him have changed markedly over the last year:
* During the general election campaign, low-information fops repeated the MSNBC/CNN/NYT talking points that anyone who didn’t vote for Dr. Utopia was a damn, dirty RAAACIST and anyone who thought McCain would have been a better president might as well have been in the Klan
* Between November 2008-January 20th, 2009, the same fops insisted that anyone who didn’t drop to their knees and praise The Great Spaghetti Monster for delivering unto us “The Lightbringer” and wasn’t so excited by the “Inauguration of the first admittedly part black president” that they were in serious danger of spontaneous combustion was just a damn dirty RAAACIST
* From January 20th, 2009 (the day all Race Cards expired, we must note) to this summer, the fops insisted “there’s not enough time to judge him…give him time, he will keep all his promises, we swear”. Anyone who didn’t believe that was, of course, a damn dirty RAAACIST
Most of you out there don’t realize this, but the “Gay Year” pretty much ends and begins again at Pride, which is the last Sunday of June. So much effort is put into the Pride festivals and Pride parade that, literally, the Monday after 2009′s Pride ended planning started for 2010. Psychologically, the gay community, at large turns the calendar ahead at the end of June and starts looking forward to the next year (just as many of us start designing next year’s Halloween costume on November 1st).
A lot of gays were boy scouts…and we like to plan ahead (if not still try to squeeze into those old khaki uniforms for at least the aforementioned Halloween).
During most of 2008, a theater company we used to love here in Chicago called GayCo was, like the MSM, an extension of the Obama campaign. The actors, writers, director, and tech crew were largely Obots…of the most low-information variety, we have to tell you. These are the kind of people who would say things like, “Nyu-uh, oh no, it doesn’t matter that Obama didn’t march in Pride, and has never marched in a Pride parade, it just matters that he says Hope and I like Hope. It sounds like soap and I like soap too. I eat the soap.” In response to anything critical of Dr. Utopia, their Savior and Lightbringer, including his atrocious record on LGBTQ rights, the GayCo gang would get severely flummuxed and say, “Oh, yah, yah, well McCain’s a RAAACIST and you’re a RAAACIST Republican because you just don’t want a black man to be president!”. Then, they would stomp off in a big flurry of glitter and farts and seek comfort in a corner of a bar where they “didn’t have to think about anything anymore”, so convinced that Dr. Utopia was really going to give them their unicorns.
Well, post-2009 Pride, GayCo has opened it’s new show this week, called “The Audacity of Nope”, all about Dr. Utopia’s broken promises to the LGBTQ community. The subtitle of the show is, “How we fell for a pansy scheme”…a riff on Bernie Maddof’s ponzi scheme, which is also worked into the show, we assume. As soon as we have a chance to see the production, we’ll tell you all about it, we promise.
If you are in Chicago, go see this at Strawdog Theater on Halsted (near the I-Hop and Grace), every Friday and Saturday until December 12th, 2009
It’s heartening for us that GayCo has come to its senses because we really and truly do think they are the best theater troupe in the city…and it was painful to watch them relentlessly shill the Kool-Aid last year. We lost a few good friendships over the 2008 campaign, all from gay guys who were so upset we campaigned for McCain/Palin that one of them actually threw a drink in our face (which was funny, because that single martini at MiniBar cost more than everything we were wearing at the time, so the drink may have been on us, but the joke was solidly on them).
Cleve Jones, LGBTQ activist, friend of Harvey Milk, and originator of the Project AIDS Memorial Quilt was in Chicago not long after Pride 2009 and he flat-out called gays idiots for blind voting Democrat and believing Dr. Utopia was going to keep any of his promises. You should have seen the looks on people’s faces when he said that: since the LGBTQ community largely parrots what they hear “smart people on TV” say, and Cleve Jones was presented to them as “a very smart person who was not only on TV a lot but also was played by cutie Emile Hirsch in a MOVIE”, they just didn’t know what to do with themselves when he told them to stop blind-voting Democrat and proclaiming Dr. Utopia their savior. All the little squirrels in their exercise wheels inside their heads started doing major Pilates over that one. Some people were so confused they forgot their own names while trying to grasp the concept. “Brendon! BRENDON! BRENNNNDON! It’s okay bro. You’re Brendan, and you are totally a bartender at MiniBar who completely ROCKS OUT in his suspenders and tight, elongated v-neck tee. You’re just thinking too hard, buddy. You need to just focus on Chase Crawford or something and you’ll be all better in no time, baby. No time”.
During Halloween, we went to a lot of costume shops and saw people trying on, but never buying, Dr. Utopia masks, wondering how many of them would go as “our first partially black president” to costume parties. While observing various people trying on their masks, we accidentally on purpose overheard many conversations about the current president. ”He hasn’t done a damn thing!” “That Nobel Prize is the biggest joke since Tom Cruise married poor little Katie”. ”I am still waiting for my Hope and Change. Maybe I can pay my rent with it when it finally shows up”.
We think more people would be riled up against Dr. Utopia if they had someone to blame for their own stupidity in supporting him.
If there’s one thing that’s bigger than naked porn star Twister at Steamworks in this town, it’s the blame-game.
“Brendan! You TOTALLY bought last month’s new Ipod when this month’s new Ipod is silver and Sting and January Jones says it helps the Rainforest or sharks or something, or shark forests, so you totally f***ed it all up again, Brendan!”
“No way…I only did it because Leighton Meister told me to buy the red one because she had it on Gossip Girl and I am TOTALLY NEVER WATCHING THAT SHOW AGAIN NOW. Bitch.”
Whether it was also buying the wrong kind of designer mutt (“Cockapoos were so 2007, Brendan, what were you thinking?”), drinking the wrong soy latte (“Nobody goes to Starbucks anymore, BRENDAN, everyone’s going to Intelligentsia now, unless they are dead and stupid”), or working out at the wrong gym (“Balley’s doesn’t even have towel service and they don’t have a steam room you can get doing anything that would make them throw you out for, BRENDAN”), Liberals in Boystown love having someone else to blame for any mistakes they make, since “denial of all accountability” is intrinsically grafted onto the fabulous gene.
We surmise this pervades all of Liberaldumbdom, and not just Boystown.
It would, thus, be interesting if somehow Republicans could strategically make every disaffected Liberal believe the only reason they voted for Dr. Utopia was because Oprah told them to.
This frees them up to see Dr. Utopia for who he really is, because they would no longer have to invest so much energy into defending their choice to support him. As it stands now, absent a scapegoat, Brendan has to keep insisting he really believes Dr. Utopia will keep all of his promises and deliver unto Boystown a cavalcade of unicorns.
If Brendan had someone to blame for his vote — someone in the shape of an insatiable, world-devouring, Greek sea monster like Lake Michigan’s very own Charybdis, Oprah Winfrey — then he could do what every other gay guy typically does, and pass the buck onto her.
“Yah, that Obama is such a liar. He never keeps any of his promises and his wife wears clown clothes. That damn Oprah told me to vote for him and I listened to her. This is all her fault. I hate her. She’s fugly.”
“Yah, you tell ‘em Brendan. Yah.”
“Yah. I know.”
“Yah.”
You have no idea, tragically, how little of this is satire. Spend an evening at MiniBar, Scarlet, or Spin and see for yourself.
Find a way to remind voters of Oprah’s historic endorsement of Dr. Utopia as “The One”. Give them this out, and let them all say that Oprah hoodwinked them…that none of this would have happened if not for her…and then just watch all the Brendans in the Liberal fold come forward with their disappointment and anger in him.
Yah.
Why don't you just give up, you little sissy?
UPDATE: It has now been confirmed that President Clinton didn’t actually say anything about “teabaggers”, so crazy people who have been sending hate mail to us today need to vacate their Maureen Dowd moment where their indignance over something that was never even actually said confirms how unhinged they are. Honestly, some of you out there just hate the Clintons so much you must sit on the edge of your seats waiting for either of them to say anything that you can twist and distort. How many years have you been doing this now? You realize none of them is the POTUS currently, and the person in that role says and does ACTUAL bad things each and every day. Apparently, what everyone is worked up about is someone paraphrasing Clinton incorrectly, and totally get wrong what he actually said. So cool it on all the hate mail to us telling us we should stop supporting a man we’ve campaigned for four times now and have admired since 1990.
We are never going to move away from the Clintons…and it’s a weird obession to use Maureen Dowd-level hallucinations to try to make us.
*******
This seems to need it’s own post because our mailbox is filling up with more hate mail than usual today, from many of you upset former President Bill Clinton used the word “teabaggers” the other day, and told a Democrat crowd the “teabaggers” were just a bunch of loons, or whatever it is he said.
Today, Clinton’s in Chicago and if at any point we’re close enough to ask him what he really meant, we swear we will do it. Absent that, all we can say is what’s on our mind, and it’s something one of our fathers used to do when one of us was on the hockey team in high school and he didn’t think his son was playing hard enough.
That father knew “sissy” was a hot button word with his son — and like it or not, calling him a little sissy always motivated the kid to toughen up, move his ass, and redouble his efforts in practice or in a game.
In no way, shape, or form do we condone calling your young, gay son “a little sissy”, so before the hate mail launches with the vengeance of a thousand arrows on that one, we just want to note that in situations where someone of Clinton’s rough age group wants to motivate someone to get off their butt and do something, to work harder at something, some well-placed nebulously directed name-calling could very well prove most effective.
“Oh, those crazy teabaggers” sure sounds a lot like “Why don’t you just give up, you little sissy?”.
Sebastian’s dad didn’t really want him to give up. He also probably never gave as much deeper meaning to the word “sissy” as Sebastian would overanalyze it for the rest of his life. It was just a word that provoked a response in a sometimes lackadaisical forward who cream puffed it through practice more often than he should have.
Oh, being mad at his dad sure helped on game days though. ”I’ll show him. I’ll show him who’s a little sissy. I’m not going to just quit,” is the response Sebastian would give…all because he’d get his ire up, and those skates would take to ice like nobody’s business.
Now, what Clinton is up to is anyone’s guess. We’ve only spoken to him a combined few minutes over a great many years. We do not know him…but we’ve read everything he’s written and have followed his career with great interest for our entire adult lives.
When Big Dawg wants to motivate people, he does it with the skill of an 11th dimensional chess master.
The audience he intends his remarks for is not always the audience he’s delivering them to.
His words are well-chosen, purposeful, and deliberately vague most of the time.
When he speaks, there are usually coded messages in most of what he says.
If he’s never once, in all these years, in every office he’s held and in his role as a former President ever told people not to protest, not to speak out for what they believe in, not to stand up to bad government and runaway deficit…then why on Earth would he start now…and do so on behalf of a man who called him a RAAACIST and every day seeks to impugn and degrade his much-beloved legacy?
That’s just our take on this.
Claire McCaskill's Sophie's Choice has come: her "bug buddy" or her own butt
Here is a rough list of the Democrat Senators whose careers will be destroyed by voting for Utopiacare in the Senate:
Evan Bayh (IN)
Mary Landrieu (LA)
Blanche Lincoln (AR)
Mark Pryor (AR)
Kent Conrad (ND)
Byron Dorgan (ND)
Tim Johnson (SD)
Mark Begich (AK)
Mark Warner (VA)
Jim Webb (VA)
Jon Tester (MT)
Robert Byrd (WV)
Kay Hagan (NC)
Claire McCaskill (MO)
Claire Bear is in a real spot these days.
Of all Dr. Utopia’s 2008 campaign surrogates, McCaskill was the most slavish and adoring. At one point, on his campaign plane, she appeared to be his personal flight attendant instead of the junior Senator from Missouri. She repeatedly said the reason she endorsed and campaigned for Dr. Utopia was that her “kids kept bugging and bugging” her to do it.
They would bug her in the morning.
They would bug her at night.
They would bug her in the garden.
They would bug her while reading “Twilight”.
Who are we kidding…Claire Bear doesn’t read. “I got me that book on tape thing and then I played it and heard someone talking and then I realized they were talking about that book Twilight, and so then I tweeted on Twitter about it and I just love those books on tape now. Reading makes my eyes hurt and the pudding in my skull hurt”.
She never read the Stimulus Spending bill that got rammed through Congress in February. We give her credit for copping to that, even if she did lamely claim “somebody smart told me about it”, believing that was appropriate enough for a United States Senator.
She doesn’t seem to have any intention to read the Utopiacare bill, either, before voting on that too. “I’m busy. I have to tweet on Twitter about this thing I saw on the sidewalk. There were ants all over it. At first, I thought it was an apple but then I tasted it and now I don’t know what it is but everyone on my staff is all mad at me again today, saying, “Senator, stop eating things you find on the street! We have a fridge full of healthy snacks for you!” I don’t like when they yell at me like that because I’m the Senator and if I want to eat whatever I find and keep those ants in my file cabinet drawers, then I’m GONNA DO IT!”.
As much as we think Claire McCaskill is the single worst Senator we’ve had in this nation in at least a generation, we almost feel sorry for her today. And not because her staff won’t let her eat things she finds on the sidewalk.
McCaskill is in an untenable position of her own making.
If she wants to run for re-election in 2012, she cannot vote for the Utopicare bill, as her constituents will eviscerate her.
If she doesn’t vote for Utopiacare, she will be punished severely by the DNC and her “bug buddy”, Dr. Utopia — a man who has proven how little loyalty he has for anyone who helped him get to where he is, even the slavishly devoted like McCaskill.
If McCaskill does not vote for Utopiacare, the DNC will not muster ACORN and its offspring for McCaskill in the urban areas around St. Louis…and without that turnout, McCaskill can’t win statewide. Even WITH ACORN in full battle mode, John McCain won Missouri in 2008. That means McCaskill is in deep, deep trouble in 2012 no matter what she does.
The Nutroots and Lefties are already clobbering her for not coming out swinging as Dr. Utopia’s favorite flight attendant on Utopiacare. She’s been trying to stay as far away from all this as possible because the abortion funding provisions are ripping the Democrats in half, despite the MSM’s greatest efforts to claim the civil war’s happening in the Republican tent.
What’s interesting to us is how mad we, personally get, about the abortion provisions in Utopiacare. While everything is still vague and nebulous and an actual complete bill does not exist, we personally have great problems with any tax money going to fund abortions. We grew up as Democrats and we support a woman’s right to choose what happens to her own body — but we do not believe the government should be able to use tax money to pay for abortions. That’s not where federal dollars, in such short supply, should be spent.
Utopiacare would take money out of your paycheck and use it to fund abortions…which, if you really want to think about it, makes every taxpayer complicit in those abortions because we all will have helped pay for them by paying taxes to this government.
If conservatives get the word out on this, and if they make the public see things this way, there could be an uprising the likes of which we have never seen.
Because even those of us who have always been pro-choice have a problem with tax dollars being used this way. Dr. Utopia, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid have set the Democrats on a path towards disaster and madness.
Claire Bear is the person we most want to see defeated in the Senate in 2012. We want her to lose her seat so spectacularly she has trouble finding a job post-government work and needs to “bug” her kids for their babysitting money to get by. We hope she is defeated so badly she retires to private life and is never, ever heard from again.
But, as much as we would hate to be her on any given day, we REALLY would hate to be Claire McCaskill now.
We have no idea how she gets herself out of this trap. Either she infuriates the Left and dooms her reelection by voting against Utopiacare, or she votes for it and infuriates Missouri and seals her doom that way.
Claire’s Choice is definitely not an easy one to make…which is why she’ll probably bug her kids or a particularly interesting raccoon she spots to do it for her.
Yet another black professor acts like an ass then shouts RAAACIST! to defend his childish, Henry Gates-esque actions
Henry Gates, Part II
Waaaaaah! Waaaaaaah! RAAACISM!
How long before the current president rushes breathlessly to the nearest microphone to defend the latest black professor acting like a complete grievance-mongering, violent jackass?
Will he call the New York City police stupid too (the way he called the Cambridge police who arrested wailing grievance crybaby Henry Gates)? Will Dr. Utopia insist the NYPD acted stupidly when called to respond to the behavior of black architecture professor Lionel “Mac” McIntyre, who delivered a flying buttress square to the jaw of a white woman he was berating, in racial terms, in a bar fight? Will Dr. Utopia in this instance, as with Gates, interfere in a matter he has no business whatsoever commenting on, just because the RAAACIST in him needs to take the aggrieved black professor’s side regardless of if he has any idea what’s going on in the situation or not?
Dr. Utopia went to Columbia, where Lionel “Punches Women in the Face” McIntyre teaches…just as Dr. Utopia went to Harvard, where Henry “Grievance-Monger” Gates “teaches” (and where “teaches” is a euphanism for “throws tantrums, rolls on the floor wailing and screaming, and spends every waking minute of the day looking for a racial reason behind EVERYTHING”).
Apparently, neither Columbia nor Harvard professors hand out actual grades, since Dr. Utopia has refused to release any of his, so we can only infer no grades were ever given out (because even George W. Bush released his transcripts, Bs and Cs and all, and the media keeps saying how smart Dr. Utopia is, so he must have been a straight-A student, right?).
But, McIntyre sure proved black Columbia professors sure hand out something: punches to the faces of white women.
We don’t believe in Fate, and certainly don’t imagine there’s an Olympus veiled in clouds, columned in gold and alabastor somewhere beyond all mountains, where Hera and Athena and Artemis conspire with all manner of Furies and vengeance herding sprites…but if such a thing existed, it sure would seem Dr. Utopia’s on the radar up there…and that a white woman will be his downfall in the end.
When he said to Hillary Clinton in the primaries, “You’re likeable enough, Hillary”, he opened a rare portal to his true self, a glimpse behind all the manufactured, astroturf artiface. There was deep resentment in that “likeable enough” business, if not real hatred. In the affirmative action world of quota-dependent contracts and bureaucratically managed promotions, just about the only person who could stand in the way of a black man and something he wants is a white woman. If Dr. Utopia’s Harvard and Columbia grades were ever released, this conversation on affirmative action could certainly get a lot more interesting, too…as would any discussion of how he got to be the president of the Harvard Law Review.
In the 2008 general election campaign, all guns were aimed not at McCain, but at Palin…another white woman who was standing in Dr. Utopia’s way en route to getting something he wanted. Palin still lives rent free in Dr. Utopia’s head, even now. The current White House is obsessed with her…and we bet there’s not just a little jealousy over how well Palin’s book is doing, and how successful her book tour will most assuredly be.
Either Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin will deny Dr. Utopia a second term in the White House. This, it seems, has been woven into some celestial tapestry, with a new clash of familiar Titans sure to be on the way. There are a lot of variables ahead, but if the US economy does not add millions of jobs by 2011 to bring unemployment down to a reasonable 7% or so, either Clinton or Palin will be the 45th President of the United States.
And Dr. Utopia will be yet another professorial, effeminate, entitled angry black man who wants to punch a “likeable enough” white woman in the face.
Do you remember the Russian UFO "First Contact" hoax in the 80s?
There’s an article up at Red State today that has us thinking — coming on the heels, as it does, of watching the latest episode of “V” last night, and bearing witness, as we all do, to life in The Golden Age of Hope and Change and Lightbringers.
Redstate reports on the Vatican’s efforts to find extraterrestrial life…and of its push to lay a foundation for the acceptance of alien life so that when it’s in fact revealed, the people of the world do not go STARK RAVING MAD at the realization.
That article, and the remake of “V”, conjured a long-forgotten memory from childhood: it was sometime in the late 80s, possibly no later than 1988 because we believe Reagan was still in office. It might have been as early as 1984. Somewhere in that range. This was before all-night cable news or the Internet, when the only information you got was what the 11 o’clock WKYC NBC-3 station told you. One night, which feels like it was a Tuesday or Wednesday, sometime mid-week, one of us remembers his father yelling for us to get into the living room right away to see something on the news. He raced down the hall and the TV was talking about a report out of Russia that an alian ship had appeared in the skies near Moscow and had landed, establishing First Contact with humanity.
He was TERRIFIED.
It was a near pants-wetting experience.
He remembers, clearly, looking down at his hands and seeing them shaking and feeling his lips go cold and whole body start to sweat because he believed, in that moment, that it was true…that aliens really did land in Russia…that aliens were real and they had come to Earth…for some unknown purpose.
All night, he stayed awake, clutching the covers, shaking, until it was time to wake up for school the next day and the morning news was on. In Cleveland, this amounted to a pair of old men named Del & Tom who read the news from the inside of a general store with a rooster puppet as a sidekick. The two of them told everyone the Russian spaceship thing was just a hoax and hoped everyone wasn’t too freaked out about it…it was just a bunch of Russian kids who pulled a prank and who, Tom joked, would probably be executed by the Russians for it (if you aren’t from Cleveland, you might not get the sense of humor, but Tom was generally considered to be hilarious by most of Northwest Ohio).
Those of us who remember all this went to school that day relieved the Russian saucer landing was just a hoax…and momentarily imagined what it would have been like for everyone if indeed it was real.
“V” had already come out, we’re sure of that, because every time we heard about the Russian landing hoax we pictured the round, enormous “V” ships landing, with the reptile people coming out of them.
Not having thought about any of this for decades, today we think it’s interesting the Russians had such a fast turnaround on that hoax, which was conveniently blamed on children.
During the last two years, we went to plenty of events the media deliberately misrepresented. We’ve been to McCain/Palin rallies where there were thousands of people there, but the media shot the event from an angle that made it look like four people and a crippled dog were all that could be mustered for the occasion. We’ve been at Dr. Utopia Kool-Aid fests with a few dozen devotees, but the media made it seem like people were breaking down the doors to get in. We watched the debates in the primaries and general election with our own eyes, live on TV, watching Dr. Utopia get clobbered first by Hillary Clinton and then by McCain, only to read alternate versions of the debates in the papers the next day, where Dr. Utopia not only won the debates, but was carried up to the ceiling by angels and the ghosts of William Shakespeare and Abraham Lincoln so all could marvel at his master debating.
So now, when we see a report on anything, we wonder what REALLY happened. The MSM is no more accurate or reliable than the town drunk or the bitchiest gossip in the sorority house.
There has certainly been a weird, concerted globalization effort in the last several years…and the push for Dr. Utopia’s candidacy on an international scale was unsettling. The Nobel Peace prize awarded to him for “saying Hope a lot, more than usual” was surreal…and it all makes us wonder if there is indeed something that collectively we are all being prepped for.
Conspiracy theorists have been talking about Roswell for years. What if those people aren’t crazy, and what if the Russian hoax in the 80s wasn’t a hoax after all? What if there have been visits from SOMETHING out there, and the media’s been working overtime to cover it up and distort the truth, the way they do with the rest of the items on their warped agendas?
We personally believe there would never be such a thing as an alien that would come in peace.
Earth has a treasure trove of resources, not the least of which is our water, which seems in short supply in the universe. If aliens expended all the effort to travel across the galaxy to come to this planet, it would be to harvest whatever they wanted from us, without us having any ability to stop them.
They would not be our size or shape. They would not be lizards with human disguises. Their ships would not be round or any shape we could imagine. They would not look like bugs or turtles or old people. They might be one inch tall or five hundred feet tall. The odds of them looking anything like ANYTHING we could fathom are completely off the charts.
But, the one thing we’re sure of is that they would come here wanting something and would just openly take it.
It’s never made any sense to us that they’d sneak around, trying to blend in, hiding their motives and attempting to befriend us.
For what purpose?
No, they’d most likely either obliterate us Independence Day-style or they’d ignore us completely, seeing us as no more than bugs or wild animals, and take what they want oblivious to any damage they caused us.
That reminds us of Flatland, where squares and triangles in the Second Dimension had no concept of the Third Dimension and what a sphere would look like there…only being able to grasp the sphere as a circle that gets bigger and smaller, at will, as it passes through the Second Dimension plane. Ever since reading Edwin A. Abbott’s book, we’ve been trying to figure out what a Fourth Dimensional being would look like, if one existed. Since a sphere appears as a circle in the dimension below it, what Fourth Dimensional item would appear as a sphere in our Third Dimension…and what would a Fourth Dimensional life form, if it existed, look like to us?
That’s a major geek-out tangent there, one to ponder if ever you’re stuck on a long train trip without a book or people to eavesdrop on.
But, Redstate is right…the Vatican’s behavior is weird lately. It’s normally up to all sorts of out there stuff, we’re sure, but it’s never talked about its search for alien life before. So why start talking now?
Is it a PR thing to give people something else to talk about besides the ideas Dan Brown puts in their heads about the Church?
Is it meant to encourage more people to head back to church and fill those collection plates, if they think the Church is doing something interesting?
A roughly 2,000 year old institution doesn’t just start talking about space aliens for no reason when they are so tight-lipped and image controlled about everything else.
This MIGHT have something to do with the forthcoming 2012 mass hysteria and suicide cults that will be approaching critical mass in the next two years or so. If you thought people were nuts about Y2K, the Heaven’s Gate Halley-Bopp comet, and all the other whackadoodle collective freakouts of recent years, this nonsense that’s being stirred up about the Mayan end of the world business is going to put ALL THAT to shame.
Maybe the Vatican is doing some preemptive counter-programming.
Maybe it’s writing a Da Vinci Code-style bestseller of its own to fundraise.
But Redstate is right…something is definitely up at the Vatican.
