Thanks to LansingQuaker for the heads up on this one:  Gay Activists Begin Boycott of DNC

First off, we will tell you that this won’t make one bit of difference.

Blindly voting Democrat is as part of modern gay culture as slamming back rainbow-colored alcoholic slushies, shouting racy alternate lyrics to showtunes, and cattily eviscerating any guy with hair loss, more than 12% bodyfat, or last month’s trendy haircut.

We’re sure we’ll take a lot of heat for speaking the truth on this one, too, but the LGBTQ community is even more shallow than it’s ever been depicted on something like Will & Grace.  You’d have to live in Boystown like us to appreciate this, but life here really does revolve around three things:

(1) Obsession with youth and beauty

(2) Parroting back whatever “smart people on TV” have said to appear witty and urbane

(3) Having as much sex as possible before the gay man’s own version of the biological clock kicks in: namely, the day he either turns, or looks like he’s turned, 35…at which point he might as well be chopped Soylent Green on a Kevorkian cracker.

Blind-voting Democrat fits into (2) above.  We know this because we worked Boystown HARD for McCain, and then McCain/Palin, all last summer.  It’s almost crazy to think about, in retrospect, but man alive, people just wanted to KILL US over that.  Still, to this day, random guys will come up to one of us and say, “I know you from somewhere, but I don’t know where, and I think I might hate you”.

And then one of their friends (because they always travel in packs of at least three, since it’s no fun to go out if there isn’t an audience in tow to regale with whatever you heard “someone smart like Anderson Cooper” say on TV yesterday) will inevitably say,”Those are the guys with those McCain shirts…we hate them…we hate McCain…we hate Republicans!”.

None of them know WHY they hate Republicans.

None of them realize John McCain is actually a Democrat, no matter what letter is at the end of his name (which made it so easy for lifelong Democrats like us to become DeMcCrats for McCain).

None of them know anything about Sarah Palin other than what “someone smart and on TV like Tina Fey” said about her, but they hate her too.

And they all love Dr. Utopia, because “smart people on TV” told them to do that too.

It’s still unclear who’s been telling them, for the last five  years, to wear their hair in ridiculous “faux-hawks” and walk around with Yassir Arafat style scarves on, but that person is most likely “smart and on TV” too.

We live and work in Boystown.  We either attend functions, lectures, or work private events here every night.  We meet up with friends after work each day and listen to the conversations around us in restaurants, bars, and on Halsted street (which we sometimes repeat verbatim to you).

We give you this window into gay life in Chicago because, sadly, it’s a much more accurate depiction of things than you’d find in The Advocate, Instinct, or Genre.

Last summer, when we started up DeMcCrats for McCain efforts here, we thought we could just take our Team Hillary Pub Crawls that we ran during the primaries and switch gears and do the same thing for McCain/Palin, getting volunteers and swaying voters to our side by going out in, and reaching out to, the LGBTQ community.

The pure, unbridled HATE that hit us for just wearing a McCain shirt was stunning. It’s still something we have a hard time processing.

Because even in the deepest South, in the craziest places we went to for Hillary Clinton in the primaries, we never had Republicans hate us that much for backing Clinton.

And even out on the campaign trail for McCain, when we worked out of GOP offices alongside religious zealots in odd, random places — THOSE people weren’t hateful to us either.  They totally made gay jokes right in front of us, until they realized we were gay, and then they cut it out.  After a few days in the trenches, many of them said, “You know, you gay Hillary guys are alright.  I still think you are sinners, but you are alright and you’re my friends”.

“Well, we still think you need a good dentist and are bigots, but you’re alright and are our friends, too,” we’d say.

We get introduced at every GOP event we go to as, “our gay Hillary friends”, because we don’t seem to be people first, or even freelance writers/event planners/whatever else we do first, but in GOP circles we’re always gay first and foremost to everyone in those rooms…as if we were Martians in many ways.

But, it’s hard to articulate how little actual hate is stuffed into any of this.  It’s strange to most of these people that “gay Hillary Dems” would want to come to these events, but none of them are mad we are there.  We have never been asked to leave.  We have never been called names (to our faces) or deliberately made to feel uncomfortable at anything either Republican or religious.

And those are the two groups the LGBTQ community teaches everyone are our natural, perpetual enemies.

But, show up at Sidetrack in a McCain or Palin tee shirt and you will honest-to-goodness have flights of foul-mouthed, faux-hawked little man-harpies up in your grill, calling you every cliche they can think of, fumbling frantically for something Anderson Cooper or Rachel Maddow said that would be appropriate for the occasion.

Since none of the low-information fops have any idea what Godwin’s Law is, we get called “Jewish Nazis” all the time for being gay men, and former lifelong Democrats, who actually like and support Republicans like Sarah Palin.

In 2012, if Palin runs for president as we expect her to, we’re willing to subject ourselves to living Hell once more and campaign for her, yet again, as gay Dems who believe the country is safer with her at the helm than Dr. Utopia.

We can already see what will happen to us for doing this:  we literally will never be able to work in Chicago again, as this is almost the case now after all we did in the primaries and general election last year to stop Utopia.  Working against him again, and for SARAH PALIN, will surely seal our fates around here.

And we are okay with that, because we did everything we could to stop Dr. Utopia in 2008 since we knew what he would do to this country as president.  We will never regret anything we did in this regard.  America itself, our country, was more important than any political party…and everything we lost as a result was worth it in that we sincerely did try our level best to stop any of this from happening.

And we will do it all again in 3 years. Because the current president should not have a second term to be as liberal and crazed as he wants to be.

The article linked above indicates there are other gays out there who see through Dr. Utopia and all of his lies and nonsense…and it’s heartening to know there’s a boycott of the DNC in the works to try to cut off some of their funding.

We’d like to see all donations to the Human Rights Campaign dry up as well, since in 2008 president Joe Solomonese decided to give every cent his organization raised from Pride to Election Day to the Obama campaign.  That amounted to millions of dollars intended to advance LGBTQ causes, which instead went into the pockets of the current president, a man who intends to never do a damn thing for gay Americans.

Anyone who continues to support the Human Rights Campaign is a damn fool.

And we clearly tell any volunteers we see on street corners begging for money for the Human Rights Campaign that they should be ashamed of themselves for doing so, since Solomonese decided they didn’t need any money last year and could afford to give it all to Dr. Utopia…so they shouldn’t need any donations or support now, either.

But, we’d be kidding ourselves to believe the LGBTQ community would ever stop bankrolling either the Human Rights Campaign or the DNC.  If you throw an all-you-can-drink, drag queen and sparkle studded, hot go-go boys a-dancing, fundraiser for just about anything, and tell everyone “smart people on TV said you should come to this”, there will be a line down Halsted to support whatever it is the LGBTQ community’s leaders tell everyone they should support.

There is very little thinking for themselves in Boystown.

There is NO CHANCE these people will ever vote Republican or stop supporting the Democrats, no matter how little Democrats ever do for them.

We hate that this is true, but trust us it is.