Archive for October, 2009
Obama Nine Dollar Bills Appearing Around Chicago
Dr. Utopia's $9 bills found all around Chicago.
This is not a counterfeit attempt by any means, just something bizarre we noticed while running errands and working on a special project here in Chicago.
We’re putting together travel guides for all the neighborhoods we love here in the city, for out of town visitors and readers of this site to showcase the interesting spots we sometimes talk about in various articles here on HillBuzz. A lot of you out there have never been to Chicago and sometimes ask us for restaurant recommendations, things to do on a birthday, and the like, and thought it would be fun to put together some lists and guides for you that we’ll keep active on this site so if you ever do come to Chicago, you can get a taste of why we love the place so much.
Well, while scoping out the Southport, Clarke, and Belmont shops for the travel guides of Lincoln Park/Lakeview, we went into dozens of tee shirt, poster, novelty, and comic book shops all around town today.
The great majority of them had Dr. Utopia’s smiling face on a nine dollar bill taped to the registers.
These are those joke currencies that sometimes have the Statue of Liberty on a Million Dollar Bill. In the 80s, we saw Reagan on joke million dollar bills…and in the 90s, we often saw Hillary Clinton on joke Millions…in novelty shops (where they were probably meant to terrify Republicans) or in weird futuristic movies like Pluto Nash.
But we’ve never seen fake “nine dollar bills” before and have absolutely no idea if there’s a significance to that.
The bills take the old-style $100 bill and put Dr. Utopia in the center, and then lift random and forgettable quotes from his Inaugural Address and place them to the left and right of him, with his full name underneathe and the date January 20th, 2009 (the date, it should be noted, that all race-cards expired and, time will tell, Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson/Henry Gates/Spike Lee and other racebaiting hucksters truly went out of business).
Maybe it’s some hipster thing with the number “9″ we’re not aware of. Or “9″ is a referance to 2009. We have no idea.
But, it is interesting all those shops sell magnets and buttons glorifying Dr. Utopia while still riduling Bush. The meme is “It’s not a Messiah complex if he really does save the world!” and pictures of him saying, “I got this!” and “Proud to be an American again”, insulting 43rd president at ever turn, despite the fact the man kept us safe for 8 years and stood up to every villain and tyrant who reared their loathsome heads on his watch.
Dr. Utopia, meanwhile, kisses the Saudi King’s ring…and does much, much worse with the likes of Castro, Chavez, and Ahmadeenajad (who we think so little of we’re not even going to bother Google spellchecking for, so don’t go off on us for that).
We wonder if somewhere outside liberal bastion Chicago there are magnets and buttons ridiculing the nonsense that is the Golden Age of Hope, Change and Unicorns. We’d love to hear about any of those materials if you see them near you.
All of these novelties come from catalogs ordered by stores based on what they think their customers will buy. It’s expensive in this economy to order anything for a store, so if items lampooning Dr. Utopia are to be found in those catalogs, we sure won’t ever see the likes of them here in Chicago.
But, we can’t imagine they don’t exist.
Just as we can’t imagine Texas wasn’t filled to bursting with items proclaiming George W. Bush’s virtues to the world.
Maybe W. was on the $9 bill down there, for all we know.
Maybe someone out there knows what the heck all that is about.
We’d love to hear it if you do.
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UPDATE: Thanks to readers for sending this in, it’s what they’ve got up in Texas instead of the $9 bill. Dr. Utopia won another award, it seems: Firearm Salesman of the Year. H/t to HuntersandFishers for the snap:
Dr. Utopia wins yet another award! For AWESOMENESS!
Saturday Open Thread: October 10, 2009
What’s on your mind this Saturday?
Have you seen anyone out there defending the Nobel Committee’s choice in giving Dr. Utopia the Peace Prize, when he hasn’t accomplished anything.
Just walking around the streets of Chicago yesterday, we heard several groups of people talking about this. All of them — ALL OF THEM — were of the mind that this was either some kind of joke, or something Dr. Utopia didn’t do anything to earn. A lot of people we know are calling this the Affirmative Action Nobel Prize…won just because this current president is part black, and the Norwegians were itching to award this to a “black president”. Unearned, undeserved, but lavished because Dr. Utopia’s father bestowed him with enough pigment in his skin to make him award-worthy. Sounds a lot like how he became the editor of the Harvard Law Review, and never lived up to the hype by actually publishing anything. Or, how he became a state and then US Senator, and never lived up to the hype by actually keeping his campaign promises and actually doing anything. Or, how he became the US president and hasn’t kept any of his promises and doesn’t actually do anything.
Today, we’re wondering if SNL will make the natural leap and do a Kanye West-Taylor Swift riff on the Peace Prize, with deserving people in the world sitting in the audience as Dr. Utopia is interrupted in yet another speech…so people can acknowledge others who deserve this award more. Bill Clinton, for one, whose Clinton Global Initiative and Clinton Foundation have done more for health, education, and peace in the world than any other organizations we can think of.
Will it be a Bill Clinton in the Beyonce role moment for SNL? There are so many worthy people who could be Beyonce in that sketch…though we sort of think Dr. Utopia and Kanye West actually have a lot in common themselves.
But, will SNL go there after getting into so much trouble with the Left by speaking the truth about Dr. Utopia last week?
We’ll see.
What has that idiot Claire McCaskill done now?
This is really too stupid, even for Claire McCaskill, the most stupid and terrible member of the United States Senate.
While millions of people across the country are unemployed, destitute, losing their homes, including many in Missouri, Claire Bear’s engaged in a heated “prank war” with Senator Ben Nelson.
“My kids bugged me to do it. They bugged me and bugged me and bugged me, and I finally said, what the Hell, got nothing better to do. Constituents be damned!”, is what we imagine the illustrious Senator from Missouri saying, about her “prank war” — involving, apparently, breaking into Nelson’s office, replacing his photos with uglier photos, farting in his chair, licking his telephone, rolling around on his desk naked in paint making “art” (an odd tribute, it seems, to Farrah Fawcett), and other things too stupid to mention.
“I wanted to fart in every drawer of his file cabinets, too, but I ran out of farts. First time in my life that ever happened. It was so surprising and funny I tweeted it on Twitter immediately. “I cannot toot, therefore I tweet” is what I said, because I am so clever”, McCaskill most likely would explain.
For those of you who feel like we’re living in an alternate universe to the left of BizarroWorld today, we are so totally with you.
Nominate Dr. Utopia for a Heisman Trophy. He deserves that as much as he does the Nobel.
Here’s the link to nominate Dr. Utopia for a Heisman Trophy, since he deserves that as much as he does the Nobel Prize.
While you’re at it, what other great awards and honors can we cheapen today by giving them to Dr. Utopia?
The Newberry Award. The Caldecott Medal for Children’s Illustration. Induction into the baseball Hall of Fame. Sainthood.
If we compile a list of all the awards Dr. Utopia could win that would completely denigrate and humiliate past winners who actually spent their lives working for them, then we can come up with a list of names and addresses of the award-bestowers to call them all RAAACISTS! if they don’t honor Dr. Utopia.
Hello Mount Rushmore caretakers, Dr. Utopia’s ready for his closeup (you RAAACISTS!)
BREAKING: Patricia Melton of Mineral City awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. “But, I didn’t even write a book,” a stunned Melton exclaims.
Word’s just breaking that our friend Robby’s mother, Patricia Melton, of Mineral City, Ohio, has won the Nobel Prize for literature — without ever writing an actual book, or piece of literature.
We caught up with Pattymelt, as we all call her, by phone from her perch at her kitchen table, during this morning’s Coffee Club Meeting (where all her friends were in stunned disbelief at her honor):
“Well, of course, I read lots of books. Mostly mysteries. I like reading them to my cat-babies and then the cat-babies and I solve the mysteries long before the idiots in the book ever do. My husband Earl never solves any of the mysteries until the last page and even then he still doesn’t get the point because he forgets who most of the characters are, since all he ever thinks about is model trains. Sometimes I write letters to corporations or elected officials telling them how terrible they are, but I can’t say I ever wrote any literature. Though, one time, I did write 12 pages to that nice Lindsay Lohan telling her she needs to wear underwear and to stop showing everyone her private bits. Soon afterwards, I did notice that Lohan went to rehab to get some help, so maybe that’s why the Nobel Prize people gave me this award. It’s just too bad that nice Ed McMahon man from TV is dead because I bet he would have been the one to show up at the door this morning with balloons to tell me I won. Instead, I just got a call from someone I could barely understand from some other country. I thought it was my son Robby and his friends in Chicago playing a joke again. I really did. Just imagine, me, Patricia Melton, Nobel Prize winner!”
Robby Melton was in complete disbelief of his mother’s good fortunes as well:
“All I can say is that these people are crazy. Lord knows I love my mother, and she does a lot of good in Mineral City, mainly with the annual Wooly Bear Festival, but mainly she and her friends just sit around drinking coffee every morning talking about the news and judging people. Love them to death, but it’s true. Sometimes she also gets obsessed with something or someone and the Sherriff has to have the “we’re dangerously close to a restraining order” talk with Mommamelt again. I don’t think the Wooly Bear Festival warrants a Nobel Prize, even if she did almost get M.C. Hammer and Cyndi Lauper to play at it two years ago, until they decided to do Macy’s Glamarama instead. Maybe the Nobel Committe thinks this will inspire my mom to write the great American novel now. It would probably be about cats. ”
The only logical explanation for any of today’s Nobel-related events is that Ashton Kutcher’s now on the Nobel Committee. We haven’t checked our voicemail this morning, so there’s a chance we could have won something ourselves too. Who knows, maybe you could already be a winner too.
But, at any rate, we send our best wishes and congratulations to Patricia Melton in Mineral City, Ohio for winning the Nobel in Literature and our current president for winning the Peace Prize. We also congratulate everyone who’s recently won a lottery or an exceptionally heated game of bingo…and all those people lucky enough to have been born a Kennedy or a Rockefeller or into some other heap of dynastic wealth.
Congratulations to everyone out there who’s won something today without working for it, deserving it, or doing anything else to earn it besides being born and waking up in the morning.
STUNNING: Even the gay community is lampooning the Nobel Committee as a ginormous joke
We’ve talked about Gayco Productions before — it’s a very talented theater group here in Chicago we used to volunteer for and support heartily, but in 2008 they became Kool-Aid drinkers who were loud cheerleaders for Hope! Change! and Unicorns!, so we backed away from Gayco, as we do with all things Kool-Aid drenched.
Well, around the same time that people like Cleve Jones and other activists started calling “BULL!” on all this Hope! Change! Unicorns! crap, Gayco woke up too and started loudly saying how poorly fitting the Emperor’s new clothes really were. We think what did it for them was Dr. Utopia inviting that anti-gay minister to the Inauguration.
That opened eyes..and the eyes stayed open to take a good look at the current president, so people could see clearly HE DOES NOT DO A DAMN THING that he’s promised, especially not for the LGBTQ community.
Well…imagine our SHOCK at the email Gayco sent out this morning, copied in full below. It’s promoting their upcoming show by riding the latest headline, but kudos to them for responding so quickly…and for really letting the Norwegians and Dr. Utopia have it:
We at GayCo Productions, an American based organization speaking for the GLBT community of America, believe the best way to secure full equality is to immediately award the President with our highest honor with the implicit knowledge that he has every intention of delivering our full civil rights someday in the future…where things happen in their own good time.
In a completely unrelated matter, we call upon the Norwegian Nobel Prize Committee, the ‘IOC of peace’ to immediately resign or rescind the Nobel Prize for Peace awarded to President Barack Obama. This wasn’t the best time to praise him with your international award. America’s extreme right-wingers have a fragile, mentally unstable, scared innershell with a thug-like-simple-minded mob outershell. We need to think these things through. Hey, here’s an idea! Perhaps next time you could commission some gold statues of him, have the people of the world worship at his golden enormous feet and then send the video to our public schools and cc. Fox News? (Don’t do it – we’re being sarcastic.)
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Friday Open Thread: October 9th, 2009
What’s on your mind today?
Chiefly, today we’re thinking about what a joke the Nobel Peace Prize now is…seeing as how the committee awarded this to Dr. Utopia, when he’s not accomplished a damn thing. They’ve given him the prize “because he inspires hope”, which considerably lowers the bar for all future recipients.
What’s interesting is that this high honor, awarded to someone with no accomplishments, will ultimately be seen as the turning point for the backlash that will come at him. ”The Lightbringer” won the presidency and the Peace Prize…so where are all the magical things he keeps promising he will deliver?
This ratchets the pressure up considerably…and also, no doubt, ramps up his ego. The impact of this will be certainly felt here in the US, where Dr. Utopia will be more convinced than ever that he is right, especially when making apology tours around the world telling everyone what a terrible place America is. And why shouldn’t he — when he wins prestigious awards for doing just that.
We swear this is not an April Fool’s joke in October. Dr. Utopia really did win the Nobel Peace Prize, as stunning as that is.
What are your thoughts on that?
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Here’s a great take on this lunacy…“The World as Farce”
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It’s also interesting to think of the narrative that’s building for 2012. Successful candidates replacing an incumbent, or the incumbent party, answer the current office holder’s deficiencies and offer some form of remedy. You can argue Bill Clinton was an answer to Bush the First’s aloofness and sense of being out of touch and wimpy. Bush the Second was an answer to Clinton, in terms of Bush supposedly “restoring decency” to the White House in the wake of the Lewinsky affair. Dr. Utopia was painted by the MSM as the anti-Bush, with his “hug the world” and “let’s hope for the best” non-strategy as strategy.
So, what’s going to be an effective remedy for Dr. Utopia’s narcissism and meglomania?
It’s sure feeling like an ideal Republican candidate in 2012 will be someone:
(1) Who speaks plainly and does not speechify
(2) Whom the MSM does not like or worship
(3) Who is all about ass-kicking overseas and an end to Care Bear Diplomacy
(4) Who talks tough, acts tough, and is tough
Ironically enough, the most effeminate and fey president we’ve ever had, adored in the halls of Europe, might just very well be replaced by an actual woman…by the name of Sarah Palin, who will not bow to foreign powers, who does not give a damn if the world loves her, and has no desire to be the universe’s most adored celebrity.
By 2012, Dr. Utopia will most likely also be awarded the Heisman Trophy, an Academy Award, a Grammy, an Emmy, a Tony, and the Taster’s Choice Award for best home-brewed coffee.
Many things can happen between now and then, but it sure feels like Americans are going to be very sick of the international fanfare and worship by the time the next election rolls along…particularly if Dr. Utopia keeps making victory laps without, you know, actually attaining any victories.
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Speaking of backlash…TIME magazine, of all places, has a Top Ten Backlash moments against the Narcissicist in Chief. And TIME is one of his strongest cheerleaders, putting him on the cover of its magazine more times in the last two years than any other person in HISTORY. Including FDR, who was president for thirteen years.
Thursday Open Thread: October 8th, 2009
What’s on your mind this Thursday?
What stories are you reading that you think others would be interested in? Please share.
What's fun to do for a fourteen year old's birthday in Chicago?
Someone asked us today what we’d do for a fourteen year old girl’s birthday party here in Chicago (besides keeping her as far away from David Letterman as possible).
We had to think about that, because we live in Boystown and most of what we do is rainbow-coated in some way, if not completely Pilsner-drenched. A fun night for us is also going to a Town Hall meeting or protesting wasteful spending in some way, so we had to dial it back and think about what we’d do to treat a birthday girl that age to a fun time in our city.
A few years ago, David’s nieces visited him and our friend Sebastian…and Sebastian planned a lot of fun things in Chicago to do while they were here (they were 12-13 years old). Now, this was the summer time, so Sebastian did a lot of beach-related things with David’s nieces, but the bulk of what he’d suggest holds true.
Feel free to take what you want from this list and edit it to suit your own needs, but here’s a fun day in Chicago with a birthday girl turning 14 in mind:
(1) Wake up early for breakfast…take her to Orange and have the pancake flight that day. Orange is a great place for breakfast/brunch with a few locations around Chicago. Our favorite one is at Belmont and Clark, but there’s one downtown in the Loop too, and another in Lincoln Park. The pancake flight is a different 4-pancake theme each day…short stacks all creatively tied to something inventive. Like, on Halloween one year, they did pancakes based on famous Universal monsters…with Dracula, Frankenstein, the Mummy, and the Werewolf…Dracula’s had a “grave” with crushed up Oreo dirt…Frankenstein’s was a green kiwi and strawberry concoction…the Werewolf’s was a lemony moon…and the Mummy’s had interesting Egyptian spices. Delicious. Another favorite flight was “Cereal Killers” last Halloween: with Fruity Pebbles, Cap’n Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Lucky Charms pancakes. So good, so good, so good. Don’t forget to order the frushi too — fruit sushi with sweet sticky rice. You can also make your own juices too, from a wide varieties of fruits that you order in any combination you want. So much fun.
(2) After breakfast, we think it’s fun to work off some of those calories by taking a little walk and window shopping and browsing all the cool shops on Clark, Belmont and down Halsted into Boystown. Our favorite stores are Hollywood, Ragstock, the tee shirt and comic shops on Clark, and all the consignment shops in Lakeview. We find the greatest deals in those places. Calvin Klein jackets for like $8. Donna Karan jeans, that look new, for $15. Amazing. We have not paid full price retail for anything in three years. Take her to Threadless on Broadway and get her one of the cool new tees they have each Friday (and stay up for a week before the newest batch arrives). They’re all limited edition, and run about $12 for most of them. It’s our favorite splurge item in town…love collecting those shirts.
(3) If she’s into it, you can then take her to the Lincoln Park Zoo, which is free, and is a nice walk from Lakeview through Lincoln Park. It’s the perfect time to go to the zoo as all the animals are out and you can actually see them (as opposed to the summer when it’s too hot for most of them).
(4) Once you’ve worked up an appetite for lunch, take her to Minnie’s on Halsted at Armitage, just a short walk up Armitage from the zoo. Minnie’s makes miniature sandwiches and teensy french fries….with a special dipping sauce, too. So good, so good, so good. When you order, you get a set of 4, 6, 0r 12 little sandwiches and can pick the ones you like. We’ve gone there a lot and like the “Thanksgiving Sandwich”, the pulled pork, and the steak sandwich best. The Thanksgiving one is turkey with cranberry and stuffing and is just great. They have little mini pizzas too, and all sorts of sandwich choices. When we go. there’s typically two of us and we split the 6-pack. With three people, you could do the 12-pack and try almost all of the choices. UPDATE: We really hated to learn today that Minnie’s closed in the beginning of August. No explanation or announcement, just a boarded up storefront. We’ve been so busy the last few months and have had very little money to go out that we last went to Minnie’s in June or so, for one of our birthdays. We really, really, REALLY loved that place. Had a lot of really great, fun dates there too. Even when taking David there, he could always find something he could eat — and that was such a wonder because his Asperger’s made him so picky that he could only eat hamburgers, chicken fingers, or omelettes. Well, Minnie’s had little burgers that could keep David happy while the rest of us ate whatever we wanted. And it was so pretty inside too. The wallpaper was white with these eclectic black swirls on it…like the little tassles on a flapper’s dress. And there were photos of ladies dressed all fancy in the 50s on the walls, blown up to take up the whole wall. There were crystal chandeliers and little red chairs and 50s kitchen tables. The salt, pepper, ketchup, and mustard bottles were all teeny tiny too. The bathrooms were scarlet red inside and were covered in tiny mirrors, like the inside of what we imagine Michelle Obama’s head would be like…a vanity palace with a toilet in the middle, where you could stare at yourself from every angle while you flush. The front of the restaurant looked like a 50s diner, with a cooler holding all sorts of tiny, mini bottles of beer, champagne, soda, you name it. The waiters were, largely, quite hot too. And Hera knows that’s important in any restaurant we frequent.
(5) For something sweet afterwards, you could walk north on Armitage and do some more window shopping there until you get to the Vosges chocolate shop…the best chocolates in Chicago. Vosges has a little ice cream counter in there that has exotic flavors…like curry chocolates and flavors using paprikas and all sorts of Asian touches. Our FAVORITE treat there is a chocolate bacon bar…so salty and sweet. And Vosges is right by the Brown Line train station, so you can then get on that and head downtown.
(6) You can ride the Brown Line and do any number of fun Chicago things right off that train line. There’s a stop at the Merchandise Mart where you can get off and attend a cooking class at The Chopping Block. This all depends on what the birthday girl would like to do, and if a fun class is being held that day, but there’s often cooking classes where you make cupcakes or other fun things. David’s nieces liked activities like this, so Sebastian took them there and they had a great time — if we remember correctly, they rolled sushi and the girls loved it.
You can also get off the train at State and Lake and walk around the city center a little, then maybe go to Daley Plaza where the Halloween decorations are up and there’s a haunted village there. There’s also Halloween activities going on at the Cultural Center, which is on Michigan and Randolph, right across from Millennium Park (which has its own activities going on almost every day). Of special note is Lurie Garden at Millennium Park, which is our favorite thing in Chicago. It’s just gorgeous, and a great place to just sit and look at nature and enjoy spending time with the birthday girl. Millennium Park is now also connected to the Art Institute via a bridge, so it might be fun to take her to the museum as well.
Or, you could have gotten off at State and Lake and walked to a theater to see a show as well. Broadway in Chicago has a lot of interesting things playing (also offering theater tours too, which are fun, because you get to see backstage)…though personally, and this is just us, we think it’s a lot of money to spend…when there are so many other great theater choices that cost a LOT less money. Checkout what’s playing at all the small theaters downtown, on college campuses, and in Lakeview and Lincoln Park. Most are child-friendly. Second City, in our opinion, is a big ripoff. The shows we go to see are all $10-15. Those other shows are a little out of our price range these days.
(7) As it hits evening, take the birthday girl up for dessert in the Signature Room above the Hancock Tower. They have a great menu and you might get a table by the window if you tell them it’s a birthday…it’s the best view in town…and it’s FREE. You just have to order something, but the food is great. Perfect for appetizers/snacks or something sweet to cap off the big adventure day…and she would get to see the city all sparkling and looking amazing from up so high.
We hope these ideas are helpful. If you especially like any of them, let us know and we can be more specific. We love this town and love to show off our favorite haunts, particularly when we have a chance to make someone’s birthday special.
Happy Day to the Birthday Girl!
Could Congressman Aaron Schock become the new Neil Patrick Harris?
Neil Patrick Harris (top)
Chad Allen, on CBS' Dr. Quinn Doctor Lady (which starred the Jane Seymour who had nothing to do with Henry VIII)
Congressman Aaron Schock, fooling no one.
Our most orangest governor, Charlie Crist, in the most convincing heterosexual wedding since...
David Guest's wedding to Liza Minnelli, with Michael Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor as witnesses.
Just about everyone loves Neil Patrick Harris.
And for good reason: he’s fricking adorable. And he hangs out with unicorns.
One of the few child stars to make something more of himself as an adult; talented, self-effacing, singer with a great sense of humor and comic delivery; handsome as the day is long; magic geek who unabashedly promotes his hobby with glee; exceptional young gay man in a committed relationship who puts a great face on all LGBT issues.
Since coming out of the closet, NPH is more popular now than ever.
He plays it straight only on TV now, in the hit show “How I Married Your Mother”, hosts the Emmys and Tonys (and hopefully soon the Oscars too, because Hera knows we’ve seen enough of the overexposed Ellen Degeneres to last us a while…time for a “new America’s favorite gay” to take over, Ellen).
Congressman Aaron Schock needs to come out of the closet and become the Neil Patrick Harris of Washington.
He’s young and handsome and friends of ours who’ve spent time with him say he’s very sharp and has a lot of great ideas. He is, however, a terribly boring public speaker who does not know how to work a crowd and does not inspire a lot of enthusiasm. The thing he really tades off of is his youth, in being the youngest member of Congress. That gets him a lot of play in the MSM, who like nice-looking young people in important positions.
But, Schock’s handlers insist on pulling the old Rock Hudson with Schock…having him photographed shirtless and buff with busty women around him…to imply that he’s a big straight macho He-Man.
We’ve long heard about Schock being gay, from people in politics here in Chicago and those who follow the goings on in Peoria well. But, we never chimed in on Schock until his staff started taking those “Girls Gone Wild” shots of him at the pool with all the bathing beauties.
It’s dishonest and disingenuous of them to pull this…and unfair to use shirless Schock to send the message they want, which is polar opposite from the truth. Frankly, it’s not really appropriate for Schock to appear so frequently with his shirt off, trading off sex appeal…and it’s definitely not acceptable to then claim his sexuality is off-limits. Not when those “busty babe” photos are clearly meant to send the message that he’s “straight”.
The trouble with all of this is that it’s known Schock goes to gay bars in Washington and hits Boystown whenever he’s in Chicago. If he’s scoping out frat boys at MiniBar on a Saturday night after some event here, one day he’s bound to get caught on a camera phone by someone who recognizes him. So far, he’s been lucky because few in the gay community know who the Hell he is…fewer still care. The fact that he’s a Republican makes it all the more easy for him to skate under the radar, as many people who might recognize him think, “Nah, that can’t be him…what would a Republican be doing in here?”.
For whatever reason, Democrats have let both Schock and Florida Governor Charlie Crist maintain their “busty babe” beards. Crist recently had a wedding to a joke-and-novelty heiress which was the height in irony, as his new wife’s family company actually sells fake BEARDS. The nation’s only orange governor, famous for his many drag appearances at the Green Iguana bar in Tampa, Florida, is fooling no one. But, yet, the MSM continues to push Crist as a presidential choice in 2012 for the Republicans (the same way it pushes Bobby Jindal and Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty, three other men who don’t have a chance in Hell of beating Dr. Utopia).
Maybe the MSM is waiting for Crist to make it to that level before outing him.
Maybe the MSM doesn’t know what to do because the LGBTQ community is solid-Democrat, and outing non-creepy Republicans is bad for business in the long run. Currently, gay Republicans fall into the grotesque abusing pages and tapping on bathroom stalls mold, which makes the gay community here in Chicago look upon Log Cabins with disgust.
But, just imagine the good someone young and attractive like Aaron Schock could do if he stood up and declared who he really is…if he finally came out…and did it before he was outed.
Neil Patrick Harris did just that…and look where he is now, more popular and loved than ever. A contemporary of Harris’, child star Chad Allen, was outed by The Globe in a series of speedo-clad pics snapped of him at a boys-only pool party…and his career never really recovered. He’s now exiled to made-for-Logo movies on cable. But, in fairness, Allen (while one of our childhood crushes) was never as talented or disciplined as Harris.
Schock can do so much more for himself, in the Harris mold, if he comes out before the MSM has a chance to snap shots of him up to who knows what a la Chad Allen. The “busty babe” pool party photos seem like they were taken to distract from other pool parties Schock might have been at…where the propensity for rainbow-colored speedos could have been much higher.
Why not take this coming Sunday, National Coming Out Day, to stand up on October 11th and be the new face of the LGBTQ community in the Republican party? Why not show 20-and-30-something gays that they don’t have to just blind vote Democrat? That being gay and Republican does not make them creeps Tom Foley, Trent Lott or Larry Craig?
Why not do this before anyone ever publishes photos of Schock making out with guys somewhere, like a dark corner of Chicago’s MiniBar when he thinks no one with a cell phone recognized him?
National Coming Out day is as good a day to come clean as any.
And just ask NPH how liberating and career-enhancing it can be.
