Oprah Winfrey, the Charybdis of Lake Michigan, is now officially good for something besides industrial-scale methane production.

On Monday November 16th, she’s going to be promoting Sarah Palin’s book, Going Rogue, which is already a record-breaking bestseller.

The book drops November 17th.

During the 2008 campaign, notorious racist Winfrey refused to book Palin on her show, despite Palin being the historic first woman to ever occupy a place on a national ticket as a Republican (making her only the second woman in history to share a presidential ticket). Winfrey did not want to have a white politician on her program when she felt it could have hindered the candidacy of the black male candidate she dubbed, ‘The One”.

Other things Winfrey has dubbed through the years:

Sandwiches = GOOOOOOOD

Herds of cattle = SNACKS

Cake = MINE, MINE, MINE

Refusing to fund the abuse of young women in schools bearing her name = HUH?

Closing down Michigan Avenue for three days to stroke her ego and facilitate her latest pudding delivery = TUESDAY

Palin’s wicked smart in this:  for some reason, suburban women still watch Oprah (mainly, we think, so they can count her as “a black friend”, which they whip out whenever they’re somewhere surrounded by liberals and they need to show how progressive and open they are.  “Well, I might live in Schaumburg and the thought of coming down to the Southside, for anything, horrifies me, but I watch Oprah all the time and liked the Pointer Sisters in the 80s, so I have a good relationship with black people, let me tell you”.)

We hope Palin brings up Winfrey’s racist refusal to allow her on the show during the campaign.  We also pray Palin heeds Harpo Productions’ own warnings and ensures there aren’t any snack food products, or even so much as an errant Tic Tac, in her purse during the interview…lest Oprah spend the whole hour “trying to find the source of that snack food goodness”.

Charybdis can root out truffles at 300 paces.  We shudder to think what she’d do if somehow one of Piper’s Twinkies ended up in her mother’s handbag.

OPRAH HUNGRY!