Archive for September, 2009
Sarah Palin, if you are listening, please use Facebook to stop "Give Me Your Children" Indoctrination Day
This is an open appeal to Governor Sarah Palin and those around her who might hear it: please use Facebook to stop Dr. Utopia’s “Give Me Your Children” Indoctrination Day on September 8th.
Merely criticizing this push to use children as his personal minions and Youth Army on Facebook will cause the whole thing to collapse.
Facebook, in Sarah Palin’s hand, is powerful kung-fu voodoo.
Single-handedly, Palin’s Facebook rally against Dr. Utopia’s Death Panels sunk the liberals’ push for socialized medicine in under 500 words. They’re still limping, and bellowing and braying, but Palin’s “Death Panels” defined the debate, and turned the American tide against these lunatics and fools.
We have just five days to rally parents against Dr. Utopia’s “Give Me Your Children” Indoctrination Day. Sarah Palin is the Alaskan Artemis who, with one Facebook arrow, could draw massive attention to what the White House is up to…and stop it dead in its tracks.
Please, Governor, take that shot at Dr. Utopia’s fascist grab at children on Facebook and shield our children from indoctrination.
KEEP PUSHING BACK, PEOPLE. WHITE HOUSE ON THE ROPES OVER SCHOOL INDOCTRINATION PLAN.
If you are a parent, continue to raise Holy Hell over Dr. Utopia’s plan to indoctrinate school children on September 8th to make them some sort of personal Utopia Youth, loyal only to him, his little helpers, tiny flying unicorns he can dispatch at will to do his bidding.
Because already enough criticism of Arne Duncan’s Department of Education has been raised that Utopia’s been forced to tone down his indoctrination push. Now, instead of children being forced to write “letters” to themselves detailing how they will “help” Dr. Utopia and how much they love him, the children will instead be forced to write “letters” about their educational goals and how much they love Dr. Utopia. It’s unclear whether or not they will still be required to draw pictures of Dr. Utopia running shirtless on the beach lowering the oceans with one hand and healing the hole in the ozone with his other. This may be required for high school students, only.
Never have we hoped for more truancy on any day of the year than we’re hoping for “Skip Days” across the country on September 8th (which, hilariously enough, seems to be a day when many school districts aren’t even in session..it’s an “in-service” day for teachers in many states, the day after Labor Day, where kids have the day off and are at home, mercifully not being taught to love and obey Dr. Utopia).
Some of these schools already have children singing creepy songs praising Dr. Utopia.
Now the White House is broadcasting messages to children when their parents aren’t around, telling the children how much they must love Dr. Utopia and directing them how they can “help” Dr. Utopia (by presumably pressuring their parents to do whatever Dr. Utopia says…or perhaps reporting their parents to their teachers or the government if the parents say anything critical of Dr. Utopia).
How much further will parents in America allow Dr. Utopia and Rahm Emanuel to go before they, in one loud voice, say enough is enough with this indoctrination nonsense.
It’s just really, really, CREEPY. And those “letters” the kids are writing sure sound like “contracts” to us…signed in what, blood? What happens if children don’t want to contract themselves to Dr. Utopia’s personal Utopia Youth? What happens to parents if they don’t let their children become part of this madness?
What happens to all of us if we don’t collectively nip this madness in the bud?
Dr. Utopia wants “a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded” as our military.
Dr. Utopia appoints non-elected Czars to oversee large swaths of public policy — people who are accountable to no one and in essence collectively form a shadow government.
Dr. Utopia and Eric Holder want to take away as many guns as possible from the hands of Americans, particularly in “red states” it seems.
Dr. Utopia’s plan to socialize and rationalize medicine, Deathcare, would fold IRS information into electronic medical records to give the government complete access to all of your vital data, any time it wanted.
And, of course, now Dr. Utopia is coming for your children on September 8th.
Hope! Change! End of the America as we know it!
IDIOTS AT THE DAILY KOS REALIZE WHAT WE TOLD THEM TWO YEARS AGO: DR. UTOPIA IS A GIANT FRAUD
Years ago, in college, a very stupid girl we knew insisted on trying to cut and color her own hair. We told her not to, because we knew she had no idea what she was doing, and told her she would make a giant mess, it would be uneven, and her hair would probably turn a shade of Laffy Taffy and possibly fall out. She was an adult, so once we said our peace, it was her own damn fault for not listening.
And you didn’t have to be a gay guy to see that fashion disaster coming, as stereotypical as this particular anecdote is. But, like Casandra at Troy, we tried to warn this person, but she thought she knew better. She hoped the change she wanted would magically come, despite all signs to the contrary.
Well, just imagine our chagrin last year, when we tried to tell the whole Daily Kos crowd that Dr. Utopia and his wife are nothing more than con artists. Whatever “hope” and “change” mean to these Leftist Loons, that’s not how Dr. and Mrs. Utopia interpreted everything they said during the campaign. ”Hope” to them was “hope these fools don’t wake up before the election”. “Change” was “instead of farting through silk in Chicago, we’ll be doing that in Washington now, suckers”. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!
Crass, true, but it’s fitting with the Utopias we know from Chicago. The ones we warned you about, but you didn’t listen, Kossacks, or whatever you call yourselves.
You are that girl in the dorm with Tang-orange hair cut around a bowl on your head…and you have no one to blame but yourselves. The interesting question in all of this is…just how low will Dr. Utopia’s numbers go, and just how bad will 2010 be for Democrats, if now Dr. Utopia’s base is starting to wake up and swear off the Kool-Aid too?
BE GRATEFUL FOR SMALL FAVORS. AS BAD AS THE UTOPIAS ARE, AT LEAST THEY AREN'T CRAZY
Dr. and Mrs. Utopia may be a lot of things, but they aren’t crazy.
Though, admittedly, Mrs. Utopia chooses to dress like she is, for some reason.
But, they aren’t nuts. Socialists. People with deep grudges against America. Naive opportunists who are more at home in Versailles than the White House. But not crazy people.
Great Merciful Zeus, get a load of who the Japanese have just made their new Prime Minister…and read the lunacy his wife dispenses. Mrs. Utopia sure has a way with words (being proud of America for the first time in her adult life, promising her husband will fix everyone’s souls, complaining that $600 won’t even buy her earrings), but she’s never, yet, claimed to have been abducted by space aliens…she’s never insisted she met Tom Cruise in a past life, back when he was Japanese (and heterosexual).
That would be the new First Lady of Japan.
Though, in her defense, Miyuki Hatoyama has never, to our knowledge, worn a dress made from an old woman’s cat-stained couch…or asked a drag queen’s designer to make her a Wilma Flinstone costume out of old coffee filters.
That would be Mrs. Utopia, fashion icon.
Who’s crazy now?
WHO THE HECK IS THIS RAY GUY?
Ray (not the one in leather), with one of his old Boystown neighbors
Ray is our token straight male friend…who, unlike some “straight” members of Congress from Peoria we know, never gets drunk and accidentally ends up at Minibar, snuggling up to Aberzombies. Ray never needs to be drunk to do that.
But, all of us are happy to have Ray chiming in for us here at HillBuzz. He’s a busy guy (those Cosmos are not going to make, drink, or read themselves, people), who’s expert in electronic medical records, healthcare construction, and lots of other things Libs and Lefties in the White House and Congress CLAIM to be so knowledgeable about.
We teamed up with him during the election last year on DeMcCrats for McCain efforts, since his old site, ChicagoAgainstObama did what we were doing back when we fought so hard for Hillary Clinton in the primaries: working every day to try to get the nation to see the Dr. Utopia we knew so well from Chicago. The MSM never gave the country a true portrait of him, but man alive, did Ray try.
So, now he’s a Floridian, and hopefully a regular contributor around here. He has a slightly different take on things from us, so any time he upsets you, be sure to remember that.
We go for the snark…he tends to go for the throat…none of us can stand the Hope, Change, Unicorns and Applesauce-a-palooza and will always call that nonsense out for what it is.
WHAT WOULD THE LEFT DO IF FOX ASKED GLENN BECK TO CO-HOST THEIR NFL SHOW?
I think we know the answer…
A man who referred to American troops in Iraq as Cold Blooded Killers….should not have this gig….plain and simple….
I believe in Olbermann’s right to freedom of speech, and I am not implying that sponsors boycott his show, Countdown (no need-his low ratings do the trick)….
What I am saying is…I think it is time to do the following:
-Express your displeasure to NBC sports: nbcsportshelp@nbcuni.com
-Season ticket holders should call their respective teams, and threaten to not buy tickets next year
-signage at games, calling for his dismissal (I’m sure the Hillbuzz guys can come up w/ some creative snark)
-encourage the athletes, and the vast number of Republican Head Coaches, not to grant interviews to NBC, out of respect to our troops (in particular, Pat Tillman), until his dismissal
I do not think it will be difficult to find broad consensus that listening to the orange, chubby, pretend Ivy league grad….who referred to a majority of Americans as tea baggers (for those who still don’t know…it means…you like men’s balls in your mouth-which understandably here, may not be offensive)……on Sunday nights…is just too much….
Email Ray: snitchellreport@gmail.com
What's Hillary Clinton Doing Today? September 2nd, 2009
430pm — Meeting with National Security Advisor James Jones
Go, Hillary, Go! Welcome back from a much-deserved vacation.
******
In other news…what’s Joe Biden doing today?
2pm — Meeting with actor James Earl Jones, portraying Darth Vader, via conference call to Biden’s imagination. Classic Star Wars Mattel figurines, strewn about the carpet in the Naval Observatory, will be attending the meeting as well.
Remainder of the day: eating other people’s ice cream
Go, Biden, Go!
Conservatives and moderates should team up and get Keith Olbermann kicked off his NFL gig
Here’s something that just puzzles us: why is Keith Olbermann still working a gig at the NFL…a very well-paying gig, we imagine?
Olbermann is truly one of the biggest slime balls ever to make it onto the air…he is a misogynist, a pig, and a sexist misogynist pig.
He is also, we believe completely out of his mind.
So, it’s puzzling to us that a man whose entire schtick is geared towards liberals — the only people who can stomach him — and yet he’s part of the NFL’s broadcast…when liberals, largely, don’t watch football.
Conservatives and moderates do.
Republicans more so than Democrats.
You’d think the NFL would realize this…but maybe they have no idea how much non-libs detest Olbermann.
Perhaps people should start letting the NFL know.
Hillary Clinton is the only Cabinet Member with a positive rating. In other news, Hillary Clinton is also the only Cabinet Member worth a damn.
Hillary Clinton is the only member of the current Cabinet with a positive approval rating.
As much as we love her, we do have to note that this is as difficult an accomplishment as it was for Hillary Clinton to be the best Senator we had back when she was in the Senate. When someone is surrounded by people so terrible and stupid, she can’t help but stand out and shine. In the Senate, her colleagues were the likes of Claire McCaskill, Harry Reid, Chris Dodd, Ted Kennedy, Larry Craig, David Vitter, and other luminaries.
In the Cabinet, Clinton’s surrounded by the likes of Stephen Chu, Kathleen Sebelius, Ray LaHood, Janet Napolitano, and Eric Holder.
It is no surprise she’s the only one Americans actually like…considering she’s the only one who’s doing an effective and worthwhile job.
As always…Go, Hillary, Go!
LARGE SWATH OF MIGHIGAN AVENUE TO BE CLOSED FOR OPRAH'S (ego) FEEDING
Oprah Winfrey can never get enough.
Next week, a large swath of Michigan Avenue will be closed to feed Oprah Winfrey‘s already Charybdis-sized gullet ego. Buses will be rerouted. Traffic redirected. Workers, residents, and tourists inconvenienced…all so Oprah can tape an episode of her daily, irrelevant yawnfest near one of our major bridges. Possibly, Oprah will also be holding a farting contest as well. Rumor has it tanker trucks of Hormel chili have been delivered to Harpo Studios for the last four days.
All the pieces are coming together.
Seriously, though, this is just ridiculous. If you remember, just a few weeks ago the City of Chicago cried poverty and had to shut down the government on a Monday to save $2.5 million it claims it doesn’t have — but, yet, Mayor Daley thinks it’s appropriate to spend millions of dollars chasing after the Olympics and shutting down large parts of the city so Oprah Winfrey can pass gas to great public applause (thank you, oh women of Schaumburg and Winnetka, for creating the monster that is Oprah, and for supporting her through thick and thicker all these many years…if you didn’t dress up in your best Laura Ashley and ride the Metra downtown to fill her audience, Oprah would probably just fizzle away, like old Queen Mab, once nobody paid her attention anymore).
