82921698CH002_SARAH_PALIN_MWe. Love. This. Woman. 

Why?

Because this woman loves America. She wakes up every morning, works hard, and does her best to do what’s right each and every day.  In the face of the nastiest, most misogynistic, most vile attacks from Left, she soldiers on, with grace, class, style, and charm. People call her a hillbilly, comment on her looks, talk about her marriage, attack her daughter, but she continues to put herself out there because she believes she can make a difference for this country. 

Every once in a while someone out there concern-trolls over here and asks, “How can you support both Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin?”.  Read that paragraph above and appreciate how much it can be applied to either HRC or The Guv, two women who dare to keep going when a well-funded, zealous, attack machine keeps lobbing new assaults on them each and every day.

On even the worst day here in Chicago, and probably most especially on those no-good, dirty-blue, terrible days, we thank our lucky stars there’s both a Hillary Clinton and a Sarah Palin in this world — two of our future presidents, two women who make us want to be better men by having more of their personal brand of fortitude.

But, let’s get down to basics and reality for us for just a moment.  We live in Boystown, one of the most liberal neighborhoods in Chicago, one of the most liberal cities in the country.  The Left made our lives a living Hell while campaigning for Clinton against Dr. Utopia in 2008.  Lefties came right up to our faces and spit at us, just for wearing Hillary buttons.  They came up and screamed RAAAAAAAAACIST! because we had our Hillary shirts on and collected petition signatures for her, and not Dr. Utopia. They threw rocks through our windows, trying to knock down the Hillary posters in them…and of course, to be very cute, the rocks had Dr. Utopia’s creepy ever-watching “O” eye logo monstrous-thingy stickered to them.

We literally went to Hell and back for Hillary Clinton in 2008 — with Hell being, truly, Gary, Indiana (the most terrible place any of us have ever been). There were neighborhoods in Gary where Dr. Utopia’s ACORN thugs were out in such force that we were scared to leave the car, and actually had pitt bulls lunged at us by the Hope! and Change! Utopia crowd.

Dubuque, Iowa.  

Akron, Ohio. 

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. 

San Antonio, Texas. 

Portland, Oregon. 

You name a place and we or someone in our Chicago Team Hillary group went there for our champ.

But, not really just for her when we think about it.  We did it for this country, because we knew Hillary Clinton would make an excellent and judicious President.  She would not have rammed a wastefull TRILLION DOLLAR spending bill through Congress before members had even read it.  Hillary Clinton would not go on Jay Leno’s latenight yawnfest to make fun of the Special Olympics. Hillary Clinton, despite what the Right has been browbeating you with for years, NEVER WANTED TO SOCIALIZE MEDICINE the way Dr. Utopia does (Clinton’s plan in the primaries, if you remember, was supported not only by the nation’s doctors and hospitals but also by the insurance companies…it would have seen coverage provided to everyone, with people keeping the plans they have if they wanted, or people taking a new option that would have been created to be affordable for anyone without insurance today). 

In a Liberal bastion like Chicago, and in a Liberal gay ghetto like Boystown (as fabulous and glam a ghetto as it is), we lost many friends, jobs, and other opportunities by refusing to drink the Kool-Aid and support a man we knew would be a ruinous President. 

We firmly believe the nation is strong enough to endure four years of Dr. Utopia’s socialist lunacy.  

But we want him booted out of office in 2012 so he can retire to Honolulu, where we hope he’ll build his library, so we won’t ever have to hear about him on a regular basis again.  

The person with the best shot of making this happen is Sarah Palin. 

A month ago, on July 3rd, Palin announced she was resigning as Governor of Alaska and the Eeyores and Chicken Littles of our world came out in full force, like muppets popping out of trash cans on Avenue Q.  ”Why is she resigning?  What do we do now? We’re DOOOOOOOOOMED!  Why? Why is she going away?????” 

On Newhart, the little innkeeper in Vermont lived in a town full of reactionaries who’d hear a loud noise and believe SkyLab crashed into the center of town, so they’d all run for the bomb shelters (and inevitably lock themselves in).  Bob Newhart’s face on that show telegraphed every strained thought running through his head.  ”Why can’t these people ever learn?  Why do they have to go so crazy all the time?  Why can’t they stop and think about what’s really going on?”.

Here in Boystown, some of the bars played clips of Palin announcing her resignation with accompaniment of “Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead”.  You better believe we raised Hell about that and made them stop RIGHT QUICK. That misogynist witch crap leveled against women WILL NOT BE TOLERATED ANYMORE. 

And how stupid is someone to believe that Palin is “going away”.  For what reason?  Why resign as Governor when she would be re-elected if she wanted…if that’s what she really wanted, was to be Governor of Alaska.  Why leave office now?

Because the kooks in Alaska kept The Guv from traveling, prevented her from making speeches, raising money for candidates, and doing all the things she needs to do to build a national organization for herself.  With her book set to launch in 2010, these same kooks would throw a wrench in her book tour, too, and the assorted Obots assigned to filing bogus ethics complaints against The Guv would complain left and right about her TV appearances, interviews, and other obligations going forward. 

Palin is a very smart woman and knows 2012 is her shot if she wants to run for President…but she could not do that as Governor of Alaska.  The state’s too far away, but more important than that, the people there are of a very special breed in that they don’t seem to understand a sitting Governor can indeed travel in other states, making appearances, and raising her profile, while carrying out the constitutional duties of the state. In “the lower 48″, Governors cross state lines every day for one reason or another (just try to come between Charlie Crist and an especially attractive taffeta sale in Georgia…or between Bobby Jindal and an exorcism just about anywhere). 

But, not Sarah Palin!  Hell, no, she can’t go!  Make her stay in Alaska where it’s cold and no one can see her!  If she leaves the state for any reason, file more ethics complaints! We must destroy this woman AT ALL COSTS!

Dr. Utopia proves that just about anyone can become President of the United States.  He spent less time in the US Senate before he ran for President than Sarah Palin has spent as the Chief Executive of the nation’s largest state, with extremely more important duties than any Senator has.  The fact that liberals wailed and cried every time she left the state — declaring how important her job was — proves what great experience she has, and how well she did her job.  If her leaving the state’s borders, for even a day, would seemingly trigger a complete collapse of society in Alaska and the end of life as Alaskans knew it, then it’s ludicrous to argue the woman isn’t capable at what she does. 

We were completely surprised by her resignation, we must admit.  Never saw that coming.  For a while we wondered how she would mount a presidential bid and remain Governor…and were looking forward to finding some way to help her re-election campaign in 2010.  We were, also, looking forward to a trip up to Alaska, which we hoped would be in time for her Christmas open house (so, it’s sad that won’t happen now). 

There’s no way she can wait until 2016.  Her moment is 2012, just as the stars aligned and Fate conspired for Dr. Utopia in 2008.  The MSM will tear at her with everything they’ve got, but honestly we wonder how much they’ll have left to throw around in 3 years.  Those fools bet everything on Dr. Utopia…the sold their souls for him…there is no such thing as journalism in this country. It is all just Dr. Utopia’s private propaganda machine. 

Have you seen the ratings? 

America doesn’t like state-run media. 

Americans are asking where the Hope! and the Change! is.  

Don’t those words seem as stale as chips and pretzels left over from last summer’s lousiest barbeque, the one David’s mother Louella came to and made everyone sick gushing about how Dr. Utopia was “The Lightbringer” destined to usher in The Golden Age of Rainbow Unicorn Happiness?  

We wish Louella could hear herself now.  And, as always, would give just about anything for her to brush her teeth. 

Just once. 

Sarah Palin can be a shadow president if she chooses.  She certainly seems to be laying some groundwork for just that.  There is no Republican who hits Dr. Utopia’s socialist lunacy harder than Palin.  It’s hilarious to us that an effeminate black man seems forever positioned to battle a take-no-prisoners tell-it-like-it-is incredible woman.  Be it Hillary Clinton in the primaries or Sarah Palin in the general election (past and future). 

Palin has the potential to fill the New Gingrigh role of 1993 or so…when Gingrich emerged to challenge the Clintons on healthcare and other policy issues and sucessfully launch a GOP resurgance in Congress.  Palin can rev up the base better than Gingrich, too.  Now, she just needs her own version of a Contract With America.  

She needs a point-by-point argument as to what this Utopian Administration is doing wrong and how it should be fixed.  She needs to formulate and articulate her vision for how to get this country back on track. 

Other things we’d love to see Palin get behind:

(1) Audit the Federal Reserve for the first time in its history to see exactly how big of a mess Tim Geithner made there and how responsible that is for the Depression we are in (and don’t kid yourselves, because we are indeed in the early stages of one). 

(2) Calling out point-by-point all the stimulus waste.  Remember Reagan in 1980?  He went to sites Carter visited in 1976 and asked the people there if anything had changed, if they had any hope, if things were better now than they were four years ago.  Sarah Palin can hit all the spots that TRILLION DOLLARS was supposed to fix or save, and see how effective that is.  Wasn’t Joe Biden supposed to be doing this — playing “Stimulus Cop”?  Here’s what Joe Biden does all day instead, when he’s not mysteriously joining a “Beer Summit” he had no reason to be invited to besides the fact the two black men wanted another white guy in the official photos so he didn’t look outnumbered:

biden-ice-cream5

(3) Figuring out a way to convince Americans, once and for all, to shut the Liberals down in terms of their persistent opposition to maximizing usage of our own, American, homegrown energy supplies.  We are one of the largest countries it the world with untapped mineral, gas, and oil riches — and yet we, in the form of Dr. Utopia, literally bow to the Saudi King (aka, Falafel the Hutt). Why is that? Have you ever seen what ANWAR really is?  Nothing lives there but sand flies and mosquitoes, yet Liberals prevent all those natural resources from being developed because they convince the public it’s really this bucolic, enchanting, wonderland of polar teddy bear picnics and huggable critters straight out of an old Shirt-Tales cartoon.  America desperately needs to see reality on this issue.  We should not be giving billions of dollars a year of our national treasure to Falafel and the other Hutts who seek to destroy us. 

We believe, for all the MSM blubbering over “The One”, that the real political phenomenon to emerge in 2008 was indeed Sarah Palin.  She took her orders from the McCain Campaign like the good soldier she is.  It was his nomination, and she was his subordinate on that ticket.  She did what she was told to do, and did it tremendously well.  Joe Biden was drawing 300 people at events the same day Palin brought in 16,000 (but nothing beats the 25 people or so that came to see John Kerry at an Arby’s somewhere…and in the background all anyone could hear was Teresa Heinz asking over and over, “What’s Arby’s? Where am I? Where are all the people, John?”). 

Palin hits hard.  Harder than Hillary, we have to say.  Because of all the things we love about Hillary Clinton, and she knows this about herself we’re sure, the reason she’s not President of the United States today is because the Clintons were too afraid of being called RAAAAAACISTS! to hit Dr. Utopia as hard as he needed to be hit to shatter his glass jaw early on, back in the summer of 2007 when everything really began.  The Clintons, despite everything the Right and Left alike has now maligned them with, are just TOO DAMN NICE…kind, decent, considerate, caring people.  To their own detriment. 

Palin won’t make that mistake.  She’s a hunter, and she’ll go for the throat, as needs to be done politically to prevent Dr. Utopia from getting that second term. 

Because, if re-elected, there will be no constraints on this man.  As dangerous and socialist as everything he’s been up to has been so far, it’s been constrained by the fact that he knows he has to keep moderates and independents from seeing him without his mask on for another three years.  Occasionally, that mask does slip, like when he called the police in Cambridge stupid, or when he mocked the Special Olympics, or when he told Pennsylvanians they were bitter, gun-and-religion-clingers afraid of anyone not like them. 

But installed in office for a second term, the mask will come off completely, and what lies beneathe is something none of us should have to see, for the sake of the country (or what’s left of it by 2012). 

Frankly, putting ourselves through another presidential race is really the last thing any of us want to do.  While chock full of memories and adventure, the campaign was grueling and expensive in more ways than can ever be measured.  Emotionally exhausting.  Physically draining.  Soul-killing.  But, America, and Sarah, are both worth it to go through all this again. Even if it means the Liberals will ratchet up all their attacks, since in 2012 we won’t be Democrats challenging Dr. Utopia in a primary, but will be Democrats helping Sarah Palin win her nomination and the presidency in the General Election. 

There we will be with a red/white/blue moose on our tee shirts, with Palin 2012 emblazoned as big as life on it, taking abuse and drawing stares here in Boystown.  Being spit at.  Having things thrown at us. Getting screamed at.  Because gay guys supporting Sarah Palin make Liberals go completely unhinged.  If we thought the DeMcCrats for McCain stuff made them bonkers, we can’t wait to see what our first batches of Democrats for Palin gear does.  Spontaneous aneurysms could very well be the order of the day. 

So, that’s our mindset here. 

Going forward, we think it’s wise to invest the next three years in really getting to know the ins-and-outs of the Iowa Caucus and New Hampshire Primary and pinpoint the areas Dr. Utopia’s followers will use to try to sink Palin’s nomination (and instead install someone like Crist (or another drag queen), Jindal (or another exorcist), Romney (or another flip flopping liar), or Barbour (or some other boring, generic, straight out of central casting Republican). Stupidly, Republicans will still allow open primaries in 2012…the absolute most absurd thing in the world.  With Democrats surely certain to re-nominate Dr. Utopia (barring a miracle), what incentive is there for Dems to just sit home on caucus night instead of making trouble by pushing a weak candidate on the GOP side instead of Palin? 

We have three years to find some way to mitigate against this….the way we wish we had 2005-2008 to do over again so we could have thought up a way to prevent the Caucus Fraud in the last election. 

With any luck, this time we will indeed succeed.

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