Archive for May 9th, 2009
Susan Boyle turned down meeting with Dr. Utopia (to wash her hair and brush her cat)
This is utterly fascinating on many levels.
For starters, please read the article linked above — but pay the most attention to the comments.
This is a British paper, and the Brits are cheering Boyle on for not going to Washington to meet Dr. Utopia. Wasn’t Britain supposed to be one of the many countries of the world who were just falling overthemselves for Dr. Utopias 2008 Summer Rainbow Tour? So, why aren’t they castigating Boyle for turning down the chance to meet utopia-personified in person?
Interesting.
The other thing that really fascinates us is something we are still trying to process, because we have a lot of personal feelings that get in the way here. WE have always considered Dr. Utopia to be a joke, and a complete empty suit full of meaningless platitudes. We thought that in 2004 when he was running for the Senate. We thought that after we moved to Chicago in 2005-2006 or so, and saw he did nothing as a Senator. We, clearly, thought it all through 2007-2008 during the primaries and the general election. We still think this now.
So, what fascinates us is the fact that it really and truly does seem like OTHER people who don’t have the same long history of thinking he’s a joke are now calling Dr. Utopia a bumbling joke.
It feels like the narrative is starting to change to that, like it did for Carter. AND, Carter was never called a light-bringing God when placed atop the media pedestal. Carter did have strong media backing, and so he did fall from the height he was rocketed by that liberal cheerleading, but Carter did not have anywhere as high to fall as Dr. Utopia does.
And, every day, there’s something stupid the White House does, reminiscent of the old parodies done in the first Bush Administration where surreal futures were set in a Quayle Presidency filled with blundering mishaps and unbelievable stupidity.
But, we know Dan Quayle. Dan Quayle largely had a bad rap. Dan Quayle would have never given the Queen an iPod or a legally blind man some stale DVDs he can’t even watch in his DVD-player.
Why didn’t Susan Boyle want to meet the current US president? Maybe she really did prefer to wash her hair and brush her cat. Or, maybe Dr. Utopia is already just a big joke and she didn’t want to make the effort to go all the way to Washington to meet someone she doesn’t respect.
We wouldn’t have gone either, to be honest., for the same reason.
Where else have we heard someone living in a palace talk like this?
“I have a chief of staff and a personal assistant, and everyone needs that. Everyone should have a chief of staff and a set of personal assistants.” the current First Lady of the United States, May 2009.
Where else have we heard someone living in obscene opulance say things like this, while regular people were jobless, hungry, and desperate on the streets?
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller…Bueller…Bueller…Anyone?
MUST READ: Presidential Sleight of Hand Keeps Reporter Befuddled
Here’s a great read for a Saturday, from a little paper in North Carolina that may just as well be The Mineral City Penny-Saver.
It’s a run-down of the first 100 Days in The Golden Age of Hope and Change, calling the media out for making big stories over Dr. Utopia and Joe Biden going out for burgers together and Mrs. Utopia manufactured as a fashion icon that’s convincing only to people living in deep caves without so much as candles.
The MSM propaganda machine is ridiculed. Dr. Utopia’s bumbling and naiveity are excoriated. And the piece reads like actual critical journalism, which we thought existed in our world these days in the same abundance as triceratopses.
Also, it’s kind of a hoot, so pass it on.
Maybe Claire McCaskill can Twitter about the domestic terrorist organization she uses in her campaigns
Claire McCaskill is currently our worst United States Senator. This is, sadly, the greatest accomplishment in her life, having bestest Harry Reid, Max Baucus, Chris Dodd, David Vitter, and at least a dozen other solid contenders for Most Terrible Senator (including a red-faced falling down drunk who watched a woman drown in his Oldsmobile cum submarine).
Way to go, Claire Bear!
She’s also a sitting Senator who employed domestic terrorist organization ACORN in her 2006 campaign, and who will, we’re sure, use these thugs for voter fraud, intimidation, and democracy-corroding efforts in 2012 as well.
Educate yourselves about what, exactly, ACORN truly is and what the likes of Claire McCaskill have used ACORN for in the past, and what they will use ACORN for in the future.
During the primaries, Hillary Clinton lost the state of Missouri by the smallest of margins because of ACORN mobilization for Dr. Utopia in the St. Louis area. Clinton won everywhere else, but ACORN delivered the cities for Dr. Utopia. People on the ground in Missouri tell us McCaskill is unpopular in the majority of the state, but that she won the cities in 2006 and that made her a Senator. ACORN worked for McCaskill in the cities. There is a pattern here.
Shutting ACORN down in Missouri should be our first step in seeing Claire McCaskill defeated in 2012. She is one of a dozen or so terrible Democrats we want booted from the Senate 3 years from now (including Reid and Dodd). Between moderate Dems who remember McCaskill’s behavior in 2008 and Republicans who clearly see what a circus clown she is in every sense of the word, we can ensure a new Senator for Missouri, but we need to sart by hitting ACORN hard in that state in particular.
What a wonderful, wonderful Tweet it would be to see McCaskill type, “I lost! ACORN failed me! My kids are bugging me to stop Twittering now that I’ve been defeated, so this is my last Tweet! McCaskill, out.”
Don't forget to buy Forever Stamps today: postage increase on Monday
If you are out today, swing by the Post Office and buy as many Forever Stamps as you can. The Post Office is raising the price of postage yet again, going up 2 cents Monday morning.
Forever Stamps are bought at the current price, and are good for mailing a first class letter no matter what postage goes up to in the future.
THE FUTURE!
Just imagine if you had a time machine, you could carry satchels of forever stamps with you into 10 years from now and give your future self all of them, in a world where postage is like $15 a letter, and your future self would look at you and say, “Obama! Oh, my ridiculous former self, in this Golden Age of Hope! Change! and Socialism! your Forever Stamps are meaningless. They have no power here. No, in our utopia under the Now and Forever Light-Bringer, we have school children draw smiling faces of “The One” in the corner of our envelopes, which we use to send all of the money that we earn to the government. But, this is all glorious, as we no longer need money, no longer need food, no longer need water or even air. We have OBAMA, and Obama means not only hello and also goodbye, Aloha-style, in this perfect living dream, but it also means…LOVE. And, obviously, POSTAGE.”
We’ve already stocked up on Forever Stamps for the ancillary reason that it won’t be long before Dr. Utopia’s propaganda-poster ready mug will probably be on “historic and commemorative” stamps before we know it (since the rules regarding natural-born citizenship don’t apply to him, and those are in the actual Constitution (what’s that?), why would mere federal regulations governing who can and cannot be printed on stamps or minted on money?).
Forever Stamps, thus = a great investment in short-term household budgeting and long-term personal sanity.
Send a Noreen Fraser Foundation e-card for Mother's Day
Thanks to Dana for this tip: here’s a great way to send a Mother’s Day e-card that also raises awareness for women’s cancers.
What makes these e-cards extra great is that Neil Patrick Harris did one, he of Doogie Howser adorableness all growed up into roughly 5’10″ and 160lbs of grade-A, Broadway-tune belting, suited-up, nine shades of wonderful.
We also secretly love NPH because, back in the 90s, he landed the role of Mark Cohen in the national touring company of RENT, which our friend Sebastian’s ex, David (he of the Asperger’s, cheating, prescription drug abusing, and mother Louella (the twice-divorced, publicly shamed adulteress and professional meddler) fame) was also up for (as David was a singer on cruise ships and in Las Vegas casinos who drove to LA on a lark and ended up making it all the way through the casting process, right up to the very end with only two finalists remaining). NPH beat David like a dirty, smelly old rug in the final casting round. Despite not meeting David until long after this happened, the fact David to this day believes NPH is his personal nemesis delights us immensely. Somewhere in Richmond Heights, Ohio, we picture Louella throwing mushy hard-boiled eggs at the TV, bloated-Elvis-style, whenever How I Met Your Mother comes on, or David crumpled into the fetal position mumbling “Could have been me! Could have been me! Could have been me!” if he’d ever wander accidentally into Sidetrack’s while Seasons of Love inopportunely plays.
You laugh, but David really does things like that. And all Louella eats are hard-boiled eggs, cottage cheese, vanilla yogurt, Cheerios, and other things that are exclusively white, beige, yellow, or bone colored (since she believes foods that are any other color are carcinogenous, making her a food-racist…and one with horrifically bad breathe at that).
Neil Patrick Harris, however, ROCKS!
If you haven't died from swine flu yet, go buy bacon and pork at the store this weekend while it is still DIRT CHEAP
The swine flu craziness of the past two weeks coincided perfectly with network sweeps. Now that this Nielsen period is over, the struggling news networks have suddenly started to lose interest in swine flu. Imagine that.
Meanwhile, our good friend Abbey back in Cleveland is making a Bacon Explosion this weekend, because she says “pork products are cheaper than I have ever seen them”, as an unintended consequence in swine flu fearmongering is a dramatic drop in bacon, ham, pork, and other porcine-related meat products.
Here in Chicago, we’ve been finding GREAT deals in the meat department, just like Abbey said.
So, if you have ever wanted to try a Bacon Explosion, now is surely the time to do it.
Thank you irresponsible, fearmongering, asinine mainstream media: two for one deals on more porkchops than we can possibly eat in a month and Bacon Explosions firing up all over the Midwest this weekend sure are almost worth all the terror you stuck into the hearts of the gullible the last few weeks.
