Dear HillBuzz,
When I first moved to Chicago, I dated a guy named Jason who inspired the term “Eeyore” that I now consistently apply to people who not only see metaphoric glasses half-full, cry over spilled milk, live in a woeful past, and dwell on everything negative, but are determined to bring down the rest of us with them.
It’s like a goal they have, to make those unlucky enough to be around them as miserable and rain-cloud besotted as they are.
Jason the Eeyore and I lasted about a month together, finally breaking up after a trip to the local Jewel to get, of all things, trays of crudite and various salsas for an Amazing Race viewing party, where Jason was upset I talked to not only the elderly woman in front of us in checkout line, but her little grandbaby riding happily in the shopping cart’s fold-down rumble seat too.
“Stop talking to babies and old people! I hate it when you do that!”, Jason bellowed, in clear earshot of a woman who not only radiated sweetness and light, but was in many ways a dead-ringer for Golden Girl Betty White.
Jason totally dissed Rose Nylon.
And I knew, before the carrots, tomatoes, and tiny baby snow peas were rung up, that Jason and I were through, and that no matter who won the Amazing Race that night, he and I would never be crossing any finish lines of our own together.
But, on the way back to his place with the groceries, knowing full well I’d start a new chapter in my life single the next day (and free to talk to as many babies or surviving members of America’s funniest sitcom of all time as I wanted, without scolding), I realized Jason would always be someone I was thankful for knowing, because he not only clued me in on the Eeyores of the world, but he also introduced me to Orange, one of my favorite restaurants in Chicago, and gave me a life lesson there I’d never forget.
Orange serves only breakfast or brunch, and is painted in shades of bright, sunshine-happy, delicious Florida sparkling, well, orange. When you walk into the place, you smell citrus wafting in the air, Fruity Pebbles pancakes cooking and bacon sizzling merrily somewhere, and you’re transported instantly to this safe and snuggly place that’s not Belmont and Broadway, Chicago, USA anymore, but somewhere in your heart where nothing bad can or should happen. Someplace safe and sweet. Someplace all about breakfast and smiles and love and good company.
Unless you’re Jason the Eeyore, in which case you see Orange as just another place to rain down on, and you look for ways to ruin everyone’s day and squeeze the last remaining joy out of their lives.
Breakfast started well enough, though, with fresh fruit sushi Orange calls “frushi” ( sweet coconut rice and various fruits with little cranberry, strawberry, and apricot dipping sauces), served alongside piping hot orange-infused coffee that honestly made every cell in my body feel so relaxed, happy, and alive.
Jason thought the coffee was bitter, and of course the frushi was good, but not as good as it was the last time he was there. Jason hates cranberries, and got a tiny splinter from the chopsticks that, after three tries, with Jason practically jamming his finger into my face, I still couldn’t see. He seemed almost disappointed there wasn’t anything bad to say about the frushi, the kind of person who just keeps looking for something to pick at.
Which, of course, he found when our main orders arrived.
I had the pancake flight, a foursome of tiny babycakes Orange does as a special every day, centered around a different theme each day (and on that visit, it was “The Beatles”, with a Ringo of honey oats and granola, a Strawberry Fields with cream and berries, two more connected to Harrison and McCartney that were so delicious they were wolfed down before my brain could even properly file them away for this essay I never expected to write). Jason ordered chai stuffed french toast, filled with cream cheese and something else, which sounded delicious, like everything else at Orange.
Not being a fan of seafood, Orange is one of the few places in the world where I could eat absolutely everything that comes out of the kitchen, no matter what it was. As long as it looks and smells delicious, I honestly wouldn’t care if it wasn’t what I ordered, as long as it was something I could eat. To me, life’s too short to send things back. Sometimes the universe surprises you with something it wanted you to have instead.
Which is not how Jason the Eeyore sees things.
Instead of the chai stuffed french toast, Jason’s eyes drooped when he saw the chai french toast kebobs put in front of him (which were almost, but not quite, the same thing as what he ordered).
So, Jason, aghast, sent them back. And I had the pleasure of listening to Jason’s take on this particular travesty of culinary justice as the waitress flew back to the kitchen to grab the correct order.
She literally was gone, at most, a minute. It seemed much longer than that because of the black hole of despair and indignation Jason had become, but the waitress literally left our table with the kebobs (which looked DELICIOUS), went to the kitchen, the door closed behind her, and she reappeared with the chai stuffed french toast for Jason.
She apologized profusely, but Jason just grumbled something and looked down at his plate, unhappy. But, beneathe a skowl that would make Michelle Obama proud of Jason for the first time in her adult life, I detected the sadistic glint of a smirk, because Jason thought he found something wrong with this order, too.
“It’s ice cold. I can’t eat this. It’s FREEZING. Here, try it,” he said, pushing a forkful over to me, in the odd way people do when they think something tastes bad or smells funny (so, obviously, they want you to smell and taste it too, because it’s so bad).
Curious, I ate the chai stuffed french toast and my taste buds rejoiced. I can’t remember the last time I had anything that good in my mouth (no entendres of any kind intended). The flavor combinations were impressive, with layers of savory and sweet, and a little hint of unexpected basil in the cream cheese filling. I absolutely loved his breakfast, even more than my Beatles pancake flight (which was damn good in its own right). Which, incidentally, was perfectly cooked and HOT. It wasn’t cold at all.
“Do you want me to tell you what I think, or do you want me just to say it’s cold?”, asked him, knowing no matter what I said, Jason was dead-set on sending the plate back and making a scene.
The waitress was a real trooper, so much so that I decided at that moment whatever my half of the check came to, she was getting a 50% tip for putting up with Jason, who made the very scene I expected from him, complete with a lecture about how hot things should be when served (since Jason was a waiter himself…at a Bennigan’s out by the airport). And the waitress didn’t even roll her eyes or condescend back at him. Make that a 100% tip.
Jason sent another version of that chai stuffed toast back another two times before he was finally satisfied. I long ago finished by pancake flight, and actually ordered more frushi as I sat there for what became a three hour breakfast at Orange. People came and went, sitting down for breakfast, then heading back to their lives, as Jason and I occupied that table, with chai stuffed french toast appearing from the kitchen to visit Jason briefly, before disappearing back into what I imagine to be an increasingly more angry kitchen.
Orange comped our check, but I gave the waitress $50 anyway, so embarrassed by what Jason had done. And I truly believe he set out looking for flaws, trolling for something to complain about, because over the course of dating him, he only ever seemed happy when he was making other people miserable.
After we broke up, that chai french toast really defined not only our relationship to me, but taught me a lot about myself, too. I would have eaten the kebobs and enjoyed them as a surprise from the universe. To me, they were an unexpected adventure, like driving to what you thought was a funeral home and finding an amusement park instead. Jason would mope around complaining he didn’t get to go to a funeral, while I laughed my head off on the roller coaster of life.
And so, “sometimes the universe brings you the wrong french toast” became one of the idioms I use frequently now, and I’ve infected all my friends’ conversations with it as well. It’s shorthand for “sometimes things don’t work out the way you thought, but deal with it”.
More often than not, life brings you delicious surprises, like the french toast kebobs I would have never in a million years ordered, but would have relished when put in front of me. Surprise! And, maybe, the kebobs where what I really needed, nutrionally, anyway. Instead of all those strawberries and cream. Maybe the universe knew better. Maybe it was trying to tell Jason something.
You can’t read too much into breakfast without proving how crazy you are (especially when the Alphabits starts telling you to do things), but sometimes the universe really does send you the wrong french toast for a reason.
When I look at Hillary Rodham Clinton excelling as Secretary of State, looking so happy and confident in her role abroad, I still wish she was our President but am delighted she is in no way connected to the boondoggle that is the Trillion Dollars in spending the Demcorats just forced through Congress. Hillary Clinton will not be saddled with this economic mess. She will not be responsible for anything domestic, as this nation suffers through what’s likely to be a brutal three or four years. Hillary Clinton may not be President today — but that means she’s not in danger of becoming a Carter-esque one-term-disaster-of-a-President.
Sometimes, the universe brings you the wrong french toast.
I never thought Clinton would end up at the State Department, and honestly never gave the State Department much thought in the course of my day. And now, I am riveted by everything she’s doing at Foggy Bottom and follow the State Department’s website regularly. And it’s really been a blessing, in a way. With everything so bad at home, and so many new Eeyores breeding every day in this economy, it’s refreshing to see Clinton in China and read about Sino-American trade relations, instead of following which banks are insolvent and in danger of being nationalized today.
So, Hillary Clinton certainly ordered the chai stuffed french toast for herself, but the universe brought her the french toast kebobs instead. She could have sent them back, and moped around like Jason, but she chose to relish what was put in front of her, and excel on a path she never saw for herself before.
That really inspires me.
And it doesn’t preclude her from ordering the chai stuffed french toast again at some point in the future, like seven years from now.
Just like none of my personal setbacks ever prevent me from trying again, too. Or prevent you from doing whatever you want to do, either.
Life’s just too short to mope and Eeyore about things.
Eat the kebobs if you get them, and realize there are unlimited surprises all around us. Some people roll with the punches, get over personal disappointment, and make the best of all opportunities presented to them.
You can either be Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State of the United States.
Or, you can be Jason, the Eeyore.
Because sometimes the universe brings you the wrong french toast, and it’s always up to you to decide how you’re going to react.
Sebastian Gray,
Chicago, IL
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February 21, 2009 at 8:30 pm
That story was so beautiful that it made me cry.
2008 was a terrible year for me, and I’d made the decision to turn it around, look for the new, always be positive(with a little sarcasm thrown in, of course).
I think many people will be inspired by what you wrote, Sebastian. If you are always looking for the negative, you will find it. If you have hope(the REAL kind, not the fake Obama crap)and optimism, things change.
Hillary turned her loss into a gain, and she looks SO joyful. I’m happy for her!
Damn. I’m going to go make me some pancakes, and put whipped cream on ‘em, and maybe some chocolate syrup. Why not?
And then I’m going to think about how much YOU just inspired ME.
Thanks, buddy!
February 21, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Oh, and I forgot to tell you this:
Orange has always been my favorite color.
Can’t wait to eat at that place!
February 21, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Thank you for this post, Sebastian. I agree that if Hillary can’t be President now, then SOS is the right French toast for her at this time. She is doing our country proud. And I am SO GLAD she’s out of the Senate.
The food in your pic looks yummy. I’ll have to go there if I ever visit Chicago.
Keep talking to babies and old people!
February 21, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Wow, not only does that restaraunt sound like the best place in the universe to eat, EVER, that story was amazing!
Marry me, Sebastion (Well, I’m a girl.. but still! I can dream!)
Jason reminds me of my Wicked Step Mother, who also reminds me of Michelle Obama. MO and my Step Mother both rarely smile, and prefer to simply scowl, but when either of them do smile, you usually want to run away screaming in the opposite direction.
I’m sure Jason was the same way, especially with his negativity! The jerk! HOW could he be so mean to that wonderful Golden girl and the baby??? What a sick f*ck! I can’t stand people like him!
And you are so right about Hillary… I mean, she has to be the only good thing that is happening to this country right now. You can feel all mopey about the economy but if you just whiz over to the State Department website to see what Hillary is doing in Beijing, suddenly your heart will feel lighter. She has been a given a blessing, and as usual, she has the last laugh! HAHAHAHA! No wonder she looks so happy!
February 21, 2009 at 8:55 pm
As a server in a restaurant, I can’t imagine remaining cheerful while a customer sent back an order 3 times. Kudos to that saint.
Also, kudos to Sebastian for sticking with that asshat for more than 30 minutes. The scene in the restaurant would have ended any fairy tale fantasies about him for me.
The only quibble I have is his suggestion that Hillary run again in 7 years. I’m willing to bet the Obama will have so destroyed the American dream by 2011 that 2012 would be a great time to say “I told you so.” (except not actually say “I told you so”. that would be ungracious…)
Anyway. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a Republican. But Hillary, unlike Obama, is an experienced leader who can be debated on issues, not platitudes. As such, she would be a worthy foe. I hope the Democratic party comes to their senses.
February 21, 2009 at 9:04 pm
What an inspiring, insightful story. Thank you for recognizing the life lesson and sharing it.
In times like these, it is so easy to get swept up in the negative and allow the small blessings to slip thru the cracks.
In the back of my mind I always remember if it weren’t for BO we all would never have met in the middle.
Thanks BO for the wrong french toast!
Thank you Sebastian for all you do.
February 21, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Amen.
I was showing a 70-ish year old follow republican your Hillbuzz site this week with pictures of Madam Secretary on her trip to the far East.
We both agreed that we are very comfortable with her at State. And we both agreed that we would not have expected it.
You are 100% correct. The best outcome in 2008 for both Ms Clinton (and Gov. Palin) was not to win.
I give the young people I work with a very simple piece of advise. Never marry a pessimist.
February 21, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Incredible article! You “said” what many of us “feel”. I am still devastated that Hillary is not our President in our time of need, however, I am confident in the fact that she will restore our reputation in the rest of the world. Be prepared though . . .Obama will take the credit!!!
You go Hillary!!!!
February 21, 2009 at 9:10 pm
THIS is exactly why I always stop by HB a couple times a day. You make me think and laugh. I know this is a lot of work, so many thanks.
February 21, 2009 at 9:13 pm
“To me, life’s too short to send things back. Sometimes the universe surprises you with something it wanted you to have instead.”
You have a wonderful way with words.
Have you considered putting some quotes on t-shirts to help support Hillbuzz?
February 22, 2009 at 11:28 am
I think it’d be interesting if people around the country had a “wrong French toast” T-shirt. We’d be able to identify each other when the Revolution begins.
February 21, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Go here and then look to the right and vote!
See who is way ahead!!:
If you had a choice of four daycare centers run separately by Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin, Hillary Clinton, and Nancy Pelosi, which would you choose for your kids?
http://www.usnews.com/blogs/washington-whispers/2009/02/21/democrats-we-should-get-obama-jobs-not-republicans-and-reporters.html
February 21, 2009 at 9:21 pm
FLMom I’d buy one
February 21, 2009 at 9:25 pm
You are an amazing writer and amazing person Sebastian!
It is so very hard to think positive these days and to look at the bright side but you’re story couldn’t be a more timely reminder that we need to make the effort.
And you are spot on regarding Hillary and SOS , at least she isn’t tainted with the stimulus bill and other bad legislation coming down the pike.
Thank you :)
February 21, 2009 at 10:20 pm
“But, beneathe a skowl that would make Michelle Obama proud of Jason for the first time in her adult life, . . .”
That sentence was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh and the inspiring story.
February 21, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Dear Sebastian Gray:
You are an angel who walks among mere mortals; a pearl among swine. I love you, and all the goodness you represent. I would be over the moon were I your mother or even your big sister. As it is, I feel elevated just by having read your letter.
Right after I hit “submit comment,” I’m going to give you a standing ovation. Then I’m going to dry my eyes, blow my nose, and thank God that YOU are in this world.
February 22, 2009 at 3:28 pm
and that we all get enjoy you so much..thanks..
February 21, 2009 at 10:24 pm
This story should be a song.
It could go something like,
“You can’t always get what you want
No you can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometime
You might find
You get what you need.”
…or something like that.
February 22, 2009 at 6:16 pm
ABSOLUTELY!!!
February 21, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Wonderful story Sebastian, thank you for sharing, Jason never deserved you. Sometimes people stay with individuals like that and lose a part of themselves. The ironic thing is most of the time the eyore rubs off on them instead of the other way around.
I needed this tonight, I am laid off currently, third time this year. At 50+ and many years of gainful employment behind me, it is an odd position for me to be in. I will remain positive, I am a great employee with many talents and I will again find employment. Your words helped me tonight, for that I am grateful.
February 21, 2009 at 11:24 pm
And I’ll remember you in my Chaplet of Divine Mercy prayers tomorrow. You’re a wonderful, talented person. You’ll be snagged by a good employer soon!
February 21, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Sharon, you hang in there. My husband is also 50+ and highly trained. After talking to many, it seens to be a hurdle many our age are going through at this time. Do not give up. There is a good job out there for you. My husband has also been through three jobs in the last year. While working those jobs, he continued to look. And now, on the fourth job, he knows he found THE ONE. I am believing and praying that your fourth job will come soon and will be THE ONE. As our great Sebastian says, “but sometimes the universe really does bring you the wrong french for a reason”. I believe the reason is for you to find an even better job. P.S. We WILL pray for you.
February 21, 2009 at 11:55 pm
didn’t I man “french toast”?
February 22, 2009 at 12:29 am
Sharon, hang in there. I will remember you in my prayers tomorrow too.
February 22, 2009 at 9:44 am
Thank you so much!
February 22, 2009 at 12:02 am
Thank you so much for the kind words of support from both of you.. It means a lot!
February 22, 2009 at 12:11 am
Reading that was just delightful. Thank you.
February 22, 2009 at 12:14 am
Sebastian, I’m old and have a bunch of grandkids, and I’d be thrilled to have a chat with you anytime, anywhere, especially if we could thumb thru the Globe and Enquirer in a checkout line and dis the celebutards and space aliens. One thing tho … what the hell is chai and what’s it doing tucked inside French Toast?
February 22, 2009 at 12:38 am
Granny, chai is a spice mixture of cinnamon, ginger, cloves, nutmeg and not sure what else that is brewed in a popular tea from India.
February 22, 2009 at 1:18 am
how much can a heart love a blog?
mere words?
hard to stay upbeat during Obama’s rule …
thanks for the reminder
who is sebastian?
what do i care? i’m a gay.
xox
February 22, 2009 at 10:18 am
Great post!! I LOVE you guys!! This is exactly why you all are on my tool bar. Your snarky take on the world is just the best.
February 22, 2009 at 11:21 am
Hmmm.
Sometimes these stories don’t quite add up.
I’m glad Hillary is happy though and still involved, it is fascinating watching the Clinton’s play political chess.
February 22, 2009 at 11:56 am
FLMom – thanks for the education. Ummm, love all of those spices. Wasn’t sufficiently curious enough to Google it. I’ve avoided chai tea like it was Plague in a Bag because of the name. Chai – sounds like something that, in its original state, might’ve had tentacles … same uneasy feeling I get when I hear the name Barak.
February 22, 2009 at 1:11 pm
I’m strictly a coffee drinker but I’ll tell you what’s good. McCormick, the ones that make all those different pepper grinders, well they have a new cinnamon grinder. When I put the coffee grinds in the percolator I’ve been grinding in some cinnamon. It’s wonderful!
February 22, 2009 at 1:19 pm
It’s amazing what works together sometimes.
Back in college, in the chow hall one day, a friend was getting up to get something and I asked him to bring me a glass of milk. When he brought it, it was slightly sweet and bubbly! I asked him WTF and he admitted, “Oh yeah, I started pouring Sprite in the glass before I remembered you wanted *milk*, and there wasn’t anyplace to dump it out [about 2 or 3 fingers worth], so I just put the milk on top of it.”
It was so good that way that I put Sprite in my milk for the whole rest of the time I was in school!
Hey, I guess that’s another “wrong french toast” story, isn’t it?
February 22, 2009 at 1:56 pm
granny–
“Chai” is a generic name for tea in several languages, Russian and Farsi among them. Americans use the word to describe a type of spiced tea.
February 22, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Bravo!Bravo!Bravo! What an inspiring and moving story.Gosh I am bawling my eyes out.I am so proud of you guys and more than ever more proud of Hillary.Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Magnificent!
February 22, 2009 at 3:32 pm
I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS..consider yourselves adopted..now you have all got a mom that cares..
February 22, 2009 at 4:01 pm
someday i’ll share the whole tragic story that led me to a revelation like yours, but for now i hope it suffices to share my favorite quote, one which shapes every day of mine :
“he who kisses joy as it flies by lives in eternity’s sunrise” (Longfellow)
thanks for your wonderful words!
May 26, 2010 at 1:21 pm
This is an awesome story. I love you guys!!
May 27, 2010 at 9:21 pm
Jason worked at the Bennigan’s by O’Hare? It’s closed but my partner and I probably have run into this eeyore, we regularly didn’t get good service there.
Also, your description of approaching life, it’s serendipity. Most people lack this quality.