Archive for January 22nd, 2009
BREAKING NEWS: Princess Caroline asks not to be considered for Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, Best Director, or Best Picture
The Academy Award nominations were released today, and moments before the announcement HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedy humbly withdrew her name from consideration for any of the major awards.
“I informed Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences president Sid Ganis that, for personal reasons, I am withdrawing my name from consideration for Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, Best Director, or Best Picture,” the 51-year-old Camelot daughter said.
“I will also not accept Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Score, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Foreign Film, or Best Animated Film,” Princess Caroline clarified.
“For family reasons, I have not yet decided on whether or not I wish to be considered for Best Original Song, Best Costume, or the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award. As the daughter of a former president and my mother, an international fashion icon of understated grace and dignity, I feel all of these awards do rightfully belong to me, this or any year, but my family comes first, and for personal reasons after my uncle had convulsions the other day, I wish no longer to be considered for most of these awards.
“I do, however, reserve the right to demand any of them again in the future, as is my prerogative as the last surviving member of Camelot,” Princess Caroline concluded.
Academy president Ganis could not be reached for comment, but staffers noted Princess Caroline was not qualified for any of the awards to begin with, noting she was never under serious consideration for any of them, regardless of her magnanimous withdrawal early this morning.
Why can't rich people pay their taxes and obey employment law?
Today, HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedy has thrown everyone from Manhattan to Hyannis Port into a tizzy, for blaming her uncle’s Inauguration Day seizure for “dropping out” of her quest to fill Hillary Clinton’s vacated Senate seat, once she accepted the fact she was never going to be picked.
Uncle Ted, however, doesn’t like being blamed for this fiasco, so now the story today is that Princess Caroline either has tax evasion problems (stemming from her $100 million fortune, some of which she grubbed by selling her mother’s old throw pillows and house slippers in a shameless auction a year or so after her death) or has kept illegal immigrants in one of her palatial residences without proper employment documents or providing them with health insurance.
Why can’t rich people, especially those who claim they are American royalty, just pay their damn taxes?
Why can’t rich people hire only workers who have proper employment eligibility documentation, and why can’t they give them basic human considerations like health insurance?
Especially when the rich people in question are, you know, daughters of a former president and nieces of a Senator who claims he’s been a champion of healthcare and aid to the poor “for decades” (in which we’ve made no real progress for either, despite all his red-faced occasionally sober bluster).
The Kennedy family proved years ago they don’t believe any rules, or moral standards, apply to them, but it’s embarrassingly easy to verify anyone’s employment eligibility these days. If the Kennedys want to help illegal immigrants gain citizenship, that’s commendable — surely Ted Kennedy’s niece could get a housekeeper or nanny fast-tracked to a Green Card if she wanted to help a deserving person start a new life in this great nation.
Surely Princess Caroline could have given those on her presumably large and beleaguered staff the ability to see a doctor and dentist so they are always in tip-top shape and fully able to carry out all of Princess’ whims night and day. It’s not only the right thing to do, but it guarantees all her servants are best able to cater to her, so it’s self-serving in the end, which appears to be the best way to get through to Princess.
There are plenty of people in New York City who needs jobs and have the paperwork in order to qualify for them. There are also many who need work and don’t have their proper affairs in order — those are the people Princess could have made a few calls for, to help them navigate what can be a daunting and hard to understand system. Isn’t Princess supposed to be a lawyer, or an author on the Constitution, or something?
Instead of doing any of that, today it looks like she just decided to pay her servants cash under the table, or maybe the change from the Grover Clevelands she breaks at Pastis for lunch, before heading back to Bergdorf’s to try on more shoes until the store closes and she demands everyone stays until she’s done having fun (loves recreating that shopping montage from Pretty Woman, this one does).
You know?
Payback is a bitch, Princess.
Hope! Change! A New Kind of Politics!
Why couldn't any of Obama's followers pick up any of the mess they made?
Wasn’t this supposed to be “the greenest Inauguration ever”, organized by people who like to talk about “personal responsibility”, “change”, and other platitudes?
Our favorite part of this peek into the barren wasteland left in the wake of Obamapalooza is the Kool-Aid kid near the end who masters the obvious and notes, “That’s a lot of litter.”
Not that she helps pick any of it up or anything.
But, she’s probably wearing Obama socks and O-logo-ed undies.
Hope!
Change!
Hypocrisy!
Secretary of State Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton takes over the State Department today
Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton was sworn-in as the 67th United States Secretary of State yesterday, taking over the State Department today.
And not a moment too soon!
Secretary Clinton begins her tenure calling for thoughtful use of “Smart Power” throughout the world, and HillBuzz begins a new chapter covering, as best we can, the major challenges the most powerful woman on Earth will face abroad when the world needs her most.
If anyone can meet these challenges head on, Hillary Clinton can. And we are rooting for her all the way!
First Lady Wilhelmina Slater, NOT Wilma Flintstone
We’ve finally figured out what went wrong with Michelle Obama’s hideous Jason Wu recycled coffee filter Inaugural gown. Someone told him, “Think Wilhelmina Slater“, and Mary heard “Wilma Flintstone” instead. And then he whipped that abomination up in the dark, and Michelle wore it to punish herself.
In a world where Vanessa Williams looks fabulous week in and week out on TV’s Ugly Betty, there’s no excuse for our new First Lady to wear such truly ugly clothes now that she’s the official White House hostess.
We demand better from her.
She wanted the job, and now Michelle needs to step things up.
She could have looked STUNNING last night, in any of the gowns Vanessa Williams rocks with ease on TV and the red carpet. Like this one:
Michelle would have been gorgeous in something like this — an understated flattering golden yellow with just a little bit of black to tie into her husband’s tux. This is a dress that could have proudly hung in the Smithsonian for all time, making Michelle a true fashion icon. Instead of what she actually wore, which was this:
And for the swearing in ceremony, instead of all the bedazzling and rock crystal evening wear, she should have worn something more appropriate for a daytime ceremony (that was not a cocktail party), and could have done it while still wearing something yellow and distinctive. Like this:
Instead of this:
There are so many great looks for Michelle featured on Ugly Betty, as worn by Vanessa Williams (a woman close to Michelle’s age, who can pull off the sort of fashion-forward style Michelle wants to incorporate, but doesn’t come close to successfully realizing).
How cool would it be to have a real life Wilhelmina Slater as First Lady? We’d sure forgive a lot of that scowl and bad attitude if she stepped out of the White House every day looking polished and stunning.
If they somehow manage to pull this off on TV, and so many celebrities adore the Obamas, then why can’t Vanessa Williams step in to put an end to the fashion emergencies we’ve seen three days straight from Michelle now?
She could be a truly beautiful and memorable First Lady — and we really want her to succeed — so she needs to stop wearing dresses fashioned from curtains and coffee filters made by men who’ve previously designed exclusively for transexuals and drag queens.
If we had the chance to dress her, we’d put a lot of Wilhelmina into what she wore, with lots of leopard prints, with yellow and purple as her two signature, complementary colors.
Nancy Reagan had red.
Barbara Bush had blue.
Laura Bush had cream.
Jackie Kennedy had pink.
Michelle Obama could OWN leopard, yellow, and purple.
And she’d look FABULOUS.
There is truly nothing in the world we want more than that. We do not like Michelle on a personal level because of encounters we’ve had with her in Chicago, but want the woman to look gorgeous to make us all proud. If people who don’t even like you want to help you dress better and are pulling for you to step it up, maybe you should listen.
Don't cry for her, David Paterson. It's official: Princess Caroline no longer interested in Senate seat (because she wasn't going to get it)
BREAKING NEWS: HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedy has issued an official proclamation, expertly drawn on salted parchment in swirling calligraphy and hand delivered to Governor David Paterson in Albany by velvet gloved paiges, informing the Governor Her Royal Highness is no longer interested in being a United States Senator.
Scented with pomegranate and jasmine, tied up in horsehair ribbons and macaroni, the royal proclamation reads:
Dear Governor Paterson,
It won’t be easy. You’ll think it strange, when I try to explain how I feel, that I still need your love after all that I’ve done to embarrass myself.
You won’t believe me.
All you will see is the girl you once knew, her face cracked and covered with lines, remembering ponies and sparkles long faded away.
I had to let it happen, for hope and change. I couldn’t stay all my life down at Bergdorf’s, looking out of the windows, afraid of the sun.
So, I chose boredom.
Running around, trying on all the shoes. But nothing impressed me at all. I never expected it to.
Don’t cry for me Governor Paterson.
The truth is, I embarrassed you. All through my campaign days. My mad existence. I kept no promises. Now keep your distance.
Because, as for fortune, and as for fame, you know I invited them in.
Rightly, it seemed to the world they were all I desired.
I am an illusion.
I have no solutions and promise to drag down your ticket in time.
I love me, and hoped you’d love me too.
Don’t cry for me Governor Paterson.
Have I said too much?
Yes.
And there’s nothing more I can say to you. But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true.
Yours in slothful dilettantism,
HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedy
Today in History: January 22nd (Year One, Day Three in the Golden Age of Obama)
Via www.MichellMalkin.com
2009 – HRH Princess Caroline of Kennedy formally abdicates entitled bid for United States Senate.
565 – Eutychius is deposed as Patriarch of Constantinople
1506 – First contingent of Swiss Guards arrives at the Vatican (150 men, dressed in a rainbow of colors)
1521 – Emperor Charles V opens Diet of Worms
1771 – Spain cedes Port Egmont in Falkland Islands to England
1890 – United Mine Workers of America formed in Columbus, Ohio
1899 – Australian colonies meet in Melbourne to discuss forming confederation
1901 – Edward VII becomes king, upon death of Queen Victoria
1905 – Bloody Sunday in St. Petersburg begins 1905 Revolution
1917 – President Wilson calls for “peace without victory” in Europe
1924 – Ramsay MacDonald becomes first Labour Prime Minister of Great Britain
1946 – Central Intelligence Group, forerunner of CIA, is established
1952 – First commercial jetliner, the de Havilland Comet, enters service for BOAC
1957 – Israel withdraws from Sinai Penninsula
1957 – “Mad Bomber” arrested for planting 30 bombs in New York City
1963 – Elysee Treaty of Cooperation between Germany and France signed
1968 – Apollo 5 lifts off carrying first lunar module into space
1973 – SCOTUS delivers Roe v. Wade decision, allowing abortion
1984 – Apple MacIntosh introduced via famous “1984″ Superbowl ad:
1987 – Pennsylvania politician R. Budd Dwyer shoots and kills himself at a press conference on live national television
1992 – Dr. Roberta Bondar becomes first Canadian woman in space
2002 – Kmart Corp becomes the largest retailer in US history to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection
2006 – Evo Morales becomes first indigenous president of Bolivia
