This is really intended for Republicans who did not follow the primaries on the Democrats’ side this year (because, well, we guess you took a nice long Atlantis cruise to Mars, in which case, color us jealous).

The same pattern that unfolded during our primaries is happening again, because the media has just one tattered old used playbook (written by David Axelrod, of course), and they have not deviated from it yet. What the media and Obama campaign did, in concert, to Hillary Clinton before every major primary is what they are doing to McCain/Palin now.  Here are the top three media/Obama head tricks to watch out for in the last days before the election.

If you, collectively, can keep Republicans and other McCain voters from falling for these, we believe there’s nothing Obama can do to win this election. The ONLY way McCain loses is if you Eeyores allow the media to keep you from the polls.

Head Games Coming Your Way:

(1) Calls for McCain to just give up and quit, because the race is over.  This one is a favorite of the trolls who lurk on pro-McCain sites.  We get them here, despite all the spraying and fumigating we do, but notice how we ignore these trolls.  We’ve identified two paid Obama staffers who have been assigned to HillBuzz. We picked them up around the same time people from Ace and LGF started picking up some of our stuff — so our guess is they were assigned to us by whoever was monitoring those sites. They’re different trolls than the ones assigned to us during the primaries (we only had one back then, so evidently we’ve gotten more on the radar now). One of them starts posting “her” concern troll remarks here at 8am.  The other one starts “his” remarks around 5pm or so. It appears there are two shifts for the trolls — and from what we can see, they share the same computer and IP address. And it’s an address right here in Chicago. Imagine that. We wonder if we’ve ever run into these people at Houlihan’s on Michigan Avenue after one of their shifts, as that’s where a lot of Obama staffers like to go for a drink, and where we often hang out to see what we can overhear while pretending to read a book over a little dinner. Since we’re going to be in Ohio the rest of the time before the election, we’re okay with letting you in on that little bit, as we won’t be able to eavesdrop on you anymore. But the information these Obama staffers inadvertantly provided was really helpful on a lot of things.  A great way to see how the race was going was to listen for how “audacious” these people felt that day. That’s their internal lingo:  “Are you feelin’ it? Are you feelin’ audacious today?”.  “Nope, not feelin’ the audacity today, ’cause we know those PA polls are bogus and BO’s not gonna take the state”. Word to the wise: these staffers were never as “audacious” as the media and skewed polls have insisted they should be.

It’s so funny, but when you work on these campaigns every day and give up all of your free time and all other activities for this, you just know when the media’s lying and reading from an Axelrod script. The coerographed calls for Hillary Clinton to drop out of the race before New Hampshire, before Super Tuesday, before Ohio and Texas, before Pennsylvania, before West Virgina, before Kentucky, before Indiana, and before South Dakota were completely ridiculous to us — and yet, Eeyores always listened, and lost enthusiasm and drive because ‘the TV said Hillary needs to just quit”. We know this kept some Eeyores from going out to vote, because they thought, “Why bother? The TV told me she’s gonna lose!”.  Well, the TV lies. And the toaster says you’re fat. Unfortunately, the toaster’s telling the truth. The microwave tells you to set fires – and that just means you’re nuts, because why would it do that?

The ONLY way McCain loses this race is if the media, operating as a full-fledged wing of the Obama campaign, breeds enough Eeyores amongst you to keep enough people home for Obama to squeak out wins. Hillary Clinton should have won Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Indiana, by larger margins that she did. Ohio should have been a 13-point win, Pennsylvania should have been a 12-point win, and Indiana should have been a 9-point win. Eeyores staying home, saying, “Oh bother, TV say me stay home, me sad, need dydee changed!” is what cost Hillary those extra points.

Don’t be Eeyores on Tuesday! Get those Eeyore butts off your couches, away from toxic TV, and GO VOTE. Get everyone you know to vote — tell them if they don’t, then Obama will turn America socialist, and we’re going to start with their house and bank account when we begin redistributing wealth. That should motivate them.

(2) Wild claims of Obama winning states that shock and surprise you. Since Obama believes there are 57 states (maybe 58 or 59, depending on how he’s counting that day), the Obamedia will report huge wins for Dear Leader in the states of Confusion, Denial, and Undress, with Atlantis, Oz, Hopetopia, and Leningrad all going to Obama early on November 4th — because everyone loves Obama so much, that places that don’t even exist have voted for him (with 100% of the vote of the dead, cartoon characters, and historical figures going to Dear Leader in unprecedented numbers). The best example of the Obamedia making up lies like this was on Super Tuesday, when every Eeyore we knew ran through the streets crying and pants-wetting, gnashing their teeth and yanking their hair as the sky fell around them — BECAUSE OBAMA IS WINNING CALIFORNIA!  MASSACHUSETTS! ARKANSAS! TENNESSEE! NEW JERSEY! NEW YORK! WAAAAAAAAH!  DOOOOOOOMED!

Honestly, we are never kidding when we say what a true living Hell Eeyores have made our lives since January. We never joke when we tell you how much damage these people have done.  Just using HillBuzz as an example, there are at least 3 essays each day we would love to have time to write, on topics we feel are important, or on intel we get from sources in the Democratic party (or eavesdropped off Obama staffers or at Obama events), but we don’t have time to get to them because we are on the phone with Eeyores, or answering Eeyores frantic emails with questions we’ve answered 1,000 times before, or talking Eeyores off their ledges after they’ve been listening to MSNBC again. Eeyores are time burglars.

Ironically, we have to admit that HillBuzz wouldn’t even exist without these people, however. We started this blog in February of 2008 because we couldn’t focus the work we were doing for upcoming primaries because Eeyores needed constant reassurance that,  yes, Hillary would win Ohio and Texas.  So, instead of individually sending articles to prove to Eeyores that, yes, Hillary would win Ohio and Texas, we just started the original HillBuzz at Blogspot as a quick and easy clearinghouse for information Eeyores could access and calm themselves down with. Five of us teamed up here in Boystown to maintain this blog as thoroughly as possible, which became a running stream of our thoughts on our campaign and what we thought of the latest Obamedia lies.

So, we realize HillBuzz would have never been started if it wasn’t for this need to treat Eeyores and calm them down. Not that we excuse any of you people for you crippling pessimism and gloom meets doom, but we have truly enjoyed running HillBuzz (and will enjoy maintaining it as we support Hillary Clinton for the next 4 years in her role as junior Senator from New York, working with President McCain and Vice President Palin on energy indepedence, JOBS, and whatever else Clinton champions during the McCain Administration).

We’re glad we’re here right now to remind Republicans who’ve found us through Rush, LGF, Ace and other places that the Obamedia deliberately called states for Obama he had no hope of winning, just to freak Eeyores out and keep them from voting.

If you do just ONE THING today, we ask you a personal favor: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go to as many Republican blogs as you can and WARN THEM that the Obamedia will tell you all weekend that Obama is winning Ohio, Pennsylvania, Indiana, Florida, Iowa, Virginia, West Virginia, and other states we do not believe Obama will win (except for Iowa, which we still think goes to Obama, but our best sources claim McCain now leads in internals by 1 point). They are already starting to say truly crazy things like “Obama will win Louisiana and Arkansas!”, and that’s just nuts. That is your equivalent of the Obamedia swearing up and down that the Kennedys and Oprah would win Massachusetts and California for Obama. WE knew that was pure cockamamie nonsense, but Eeyores wet their pants on cue over this. So, the Obamedia’s marching orders are to freak all of you out with SHOCKING DEVELOPMENTS! in Lousiana, Arkansas, Georgia, etc. just to shake your faith and confidence.

This is like in Little League when the opposing team would chant, “Hey batta hey batta hey batta hey batta hey batta sa-weeeeeeeeeng batta” when you were at the plate, to make you swing too soon or too late. Just to psych you out. And that nonsense actually worked on Team Hillary, because we lost a lot of volunteers who Eeyored off the face of the Earth just before Super Tuesday, so convinced of unprecedented blow-out doom.

So, when you see the Obamedia doing all of this to McCain, please know they are crying wolf again. Don’t let that demoralize you!

(3) Repeated insistance that blacks and young people will decide this election, and they are all going to vote in record numbers for Obama. First of all, black voters have always voted Democratic in massive numbers. We don’t think blacks have ever voted for Republicans in any substantial way in any race we can think of. Blacks vote as a race-bloc, and they always vote for the Democrat. Maybe Obama will get blacks who have never voted before to vote for him, or blacks who don’t bother to vote on Election Day to show up and vote, but we doubt that it will be very many people. Black voters were highly motivated to vote in 2004 because they felt George W. Bush stole the 2000 election, and they saw that as a civil rights issue that increased black turnout to one of the highest levels we have ever seen. Remember, Jesse Jackson almost won Election 2000 for Gore but was stopped by the Gore campaign, in the form of Donna Brazile. Watch the HBO movie Recount.  Jackson felt the Florida Recount was a civil rights/voter disenfranchisement issue at its heart, and wanted to press that to the public. He revved the black community up and flew down to Tallahassee, but Gore and Brazile made him get back on a plane to Chicago. That was a critically stupid move…and you know how the recount ended.

So, in 2004, THAT’S what the black community thought about, and THAT’S what made people vote to kick Bush out of the White House,  for stealing it from Gore in 2000. We just don’t know what people are left to vote in the black community who didn’t vote in 2004, when they were revved up to vote against Bush — a president the black community hates. What we think the Obamedia ignores is the fact the black community is totally ambivalent to McCain and is focused totally on Obama, and the race-pride they feel voting for a black candidate. If this race-pride could be quantified, we feel it would be a positive force pushing Obama forward almost exactly equal in impact to the force pushing Kerry forward the black community generated by hating Bush. There’s no McCain hate working against the Republicans this year, and there was no Kerry love in 2004.

So, mathematically this works out as:

Obama-love + McCain-hate = Bush-hate + Kerry-love = impact of black voters

We, thus, believe Obama will not have much more support from blacks than Kerry did, since Democrats win almost all black voters anyway. This year will be no different.

We also feel young voters are the Holy Grail of election delusions, because every Democrat, every election, claims “young people love me and will come out in record numbers to vote for me!”. Well, let us just tell you that early voting ended today in Chicago.  In our building, there is a suite full of about 6 frat boys who sometimes stop us in the laundry room to talk politics.  They are all hot DePaul hockey players, so we are glad to chat them up any time they want. All of them said they were going to vote for Obama, and all of them forgot to early vote. All of them have class and work on Tuesday. We honestly believe all 6 of these guys are going to forget to vote on Election Day — and the polling station for our neighborhood is literally one street away. We think this will happen not just with the hot hockey players in our building, but in many other buildings in Chicago, and in cities across the US.

As you move out of urban areas, it becomes more of a challenge to get to polling places, as they get further and further apart. That means college students, and Obama’s youth army, need to move further and further out of their daily norm to actually vote. With class, work, and Nintendo Wii, that becomes a big burden, especially since they’re going to whoop it up all Halloween weekend having an absolute drunken blast, and will have a lot to catch up on come Tuesday, since Monday they will be still hungover and not functional.

We’re astonished no one has ever thought of this before to explain why young people don’t turn up to vote in the numbers the media predicts: it’s because of Halloween. Not JUST because of Halloween, but Halloween has a lot to do with it, especially this year, when Halloween falls in perfect synch to form three days of wild, costumed debauchery. Monday is hangover day, which means nothing got done Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and now Monday, so Tuesday pressure builds to catchup on class or work or whatever.

Ironically, the Obamedia’s constant drumbeat that Obama’s so far ahead will, ironically, keep a lot of these people from actually voting — since they think he will win in a landslide without them, and one vote doesn’t matter. “Oh, we meant to vote, but we got, like, busy. And stuff.”

We hear this every 4 years. Why should this year be any different?

So, in essence, if just comes down to Republicans getting out to vote and ignoring the above head games the Obamedia is already cooking up for you.

This reminds us of the book I Am Legend by Richard Matheson — not the lame movie versions, but the actual truly terrifying book.  In it, there’s a man in a house who’s the last sane person in a world gone mad, filled with infected people, who come out every night and stand outside his house and shout terrible things at him to make him kill himself or come outside so they can do the job for him. People this guy used to know and love are infected, and come out each night to use every psycholgical trick they can to get this guy out of the house so they can kill him. And the guy sometimes starts to buy into this, because it’s such pressure, and the taunts and jeers are relentless, and sometimes he just can’t take it, and he crumples to the ground in the face of all this negative saturation. He cracks. He breaks. It’s brutal. And this happens each and every day.

That’s what the media is doing for Obama right now. 

You do realize that, don’t you?

It’s all a head game, a fake out. All of this talk about Obama being ahead is just garbage the Obamedia shovels to make you give up and sit home so Obama can win. That’s what breeds Eeyores. And Eeyores giving up and staying home is why Hillary Clinton won Indiana by only 1% when she should have won it by 9%. It really is as simple as that.

So, heads up out there — if you can get Rush to talk about this stuff on air, it would do Republicans a world of good. Make as many people see the media for what they are — a paid extension of the Obama campaign — as humanly possible, keep your heads up, and let’s put another crack in the glass ceiling by making Sarah Palin the nation’s first female Vice President, while putting a good and decent man we trust behind the Resolute Desk where all of us Democrats know he’ll work effectively with Senator Clinton and other Democrats to fix our economy, create good jobs, and make America energy independent for good.

If we work hard, we will win.