Dear Hillbuzz,

I’ve been sitting here thinking again. Actually, no matter what I’m doing, I’m always trying to figure out how we can get our country out of the clutches of the miscreants, this time Democrats, who are intent on hijacking our democracy. When I wrote you about not being scared or bullied by the DNC into opening my purse, I said I would write again about the letters and phone calls I’ve been getting from all kinds of Democrats looking for money and some of their surprising, or not so surprising, tactics. I’m working on that letter, but I just had to put it aside briefly. Another idea keeps swirling around in my head and is demanding attention.

You know that massive defections are being planned by many good Democrats to teach the Dean, Pelosi, Brazile, and Reid crowd a much needed lesson. I’ve come to the conclusion that reasonable Democrats, those who still hold dear the values of the party of the people, may have to devise multiple plans of attacks to get our party out of the clutches of those elitists who have hijacked the party of the people and created this obamanable mess.

So here’s my plan. All loyal Democrats, past and present, should 1) demand the immediate resignations of Pelosi, Dean, Brazile, and Reid, 2) charge them with Contempt of the People, and 3) run them out of Dodge, or rather, D.C., on a rail. We’ll skip the tarring and feathering on the condition that they 1)form their own political party and 2) accept excommunication from the Democratic Party for the remainder of their natural lives. Since they’ve all proven themselves to be quite comfortable with arrogance, I’ve decided to anoint myself, I mean appoint myself, as overseer of initial planning and personnel selections for their new party.

I’ve even been thinking about a name for their new party. First, I thought they could call it the Pelosi/Dean Party, but that doesn’t have quite the right ring to it. Then, I though maybe they should call their new party the Hopium Party, or maybe the Ropium Party, but I can already see Brazile scowling and objecting that those names would make people think they’re a fringe party. So, finally, I decided on the Dean Party. That has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? And it might even restore some dignity to the name after that infamous roar and all that’s come after it.

Next, I started thinking about the roles other culprits in this primary season’s mess should play. I decided Nancy could be the (figurehead) Chairwoman of the Dean Party. That way she could keep herself busy, maybe hosting some teas, and feel important after her fall from grace and the loss of that big chair she’s been occupying.

Now as for Brazile, I think she should be the Finance Chair of the Dean Party. It will be her responsibility to haul in enough money to fund the new Dean Party. I remember Oprah saying, when I used to watch her, that the universe has a way of teaching us lessons. First, we get a thump in the head, and then we get hit with a brick. Next, if we still don’t get the lesson, the whole wall caves in on us. Well, we’ve been sending Brazile plenty of messages, metaphoric thumps escalating into metaphoric bricks. Did she learn? No! Now it’s time for the wall. I’m thinking when she has to find donors to fund this new Dean Party she may just begin to appreciate all of those Clinton supporters who used to donate to the Democratic Party.

Of course, I suppose I should be more conciliatory here or Brazile may start saying that I’m just bitter. You know, speaking of bitter people, I went looking for those bitter people in Pennsylvania when I was volunteering for our girl Hill, but I didn’t find a single one. I did find a lot of nice people, though, who had the good sense to study the issues and choose the best candidate. But I digress, and we’re not finished with constructing this new party, which wouldn’t have been necessary if those elitists hadn’t been so busy destructing a perfectly good party. By the way, during one of our late night political discussions , my father told me recently that the Democratic Party used to be a good party. Just so you know, he’s a WW II vet who was injured on the Sigfreid line, and he remembers a lot. He says he even remembers when the party of the people actually used to care about the people.

Anyway, just in case Brazile complains that I’m being unfair and too hard on her, I’m going to give her some helpers. I’ll nominate John Edwards as her cheerleader. He’s preppy and cute and he likes to be in front of crowds. Brazile probably is going to protest that just cheers aren’t enough to bring those dollars in. O.K. She needs words, lots of words, because we all know words count. So, I’ll give her Obama as her main speaker for fundraising events. She can invest in a couple of good speech writers and a teleprompter and he’ll be all set. Perhaps those speeches will even take his mind off his precipitous catapult to the quick decline that’s lurking around the corner.

I can already hear Dean, Pelosi, Brazile, and Reid objecting when I tell them they will be responsible for enrolling millions of new Dean Party members. When they were part of the party of the people, they always had the comfort of knowing their party had lots of members. I keep remembering that wise Secretary of State Albright’s comment about women who don’t support other women and that special place in Hell. I’m seeing so many settings in which that comment applies quite nicely. But, again, I digress.

Back to those as of yet non existent Dean Party members. Hum. I know. I’ll nominate Richardson as the Chair of the LMDD, the Latino Membership Drive Division of the Dean Party. I suspect he’ll be in a bit of a panic, so maybe Brazile will volunteer to help in the membership drive and go out and tell those Angry White Women that they’ll need to join her new party to avoid being called racists. When she’s finished with the AWW, she can meet with the ABW, Angry Black Women, and tell them why they need to join her party, and fast. I won’t presume to include the specifics of what she might say. I won’t bother to tell her, either, that there’s quite a sisterhood growing which includes women from all ethnicities, races, and political persuasions. We’ll let her get the thump, the brick, and finally the wall on that one, too.

I’m thinking by now they may protest that they’re having no input and no one’s listening to their voices (sound familiar?), so I’ll let them go into a hopium filled room and figure out, by themselves, additional ways to get members and money. Then they can decide which roles to give Reid and all of the other culprits who will have to be called upon to resign from the Democratic Party, formerly known as the party of the people.

Once that ropium or cokium, oh, I meant to say hopium, wears off, these master minds of the implosion of the Democratic Party are going to be complaining that there’s just too much competition for new members, what with millions of Democrats defecting to PUMA, Clinton4McCain, Just Say No Deal, Democrats for McCain, WomenCountPAC, and all of those other interesting groups that actually care about what their members think.

All I can say is too bad, so sad. What goes around comes around. You should have thought of that before. You made your bed; now lie in it.

If they complain too much about that (metaphoric) bed and its (non-metaphoric) consequences, or if they fail to be good little boys and girls and fall in line and do what they are told, we can always bring out the rail again. This time, it’ll come with buckets of hot tar and loads of pretty feathers.

Bonnie, from Chicago