To: Interested Parties
From: Brian Rogers, Deputy Communications Director
Date: August 27, 2008
Re: Proper Attire For The Temple Of Obama (“The Barackopolis”)One Last Reminder:.

Today, workers at Invesco Field are putting the final touches on the newest wonder of the modern political world — The Temple of Obama (“The Barackopolis”). It is upon this pulpit that Barack Obama will tomorrow night address thousands of screaming, adoring fans.

There may be some confusion among the press about the venue and appropriate dress code for Barack Obama’s big speech. To help out, we wanted to provide the following tips on appropriate attire. The toga may have gone out of style centuries ago, but after Obama’s temple speech tomorrow night, they’re sure to be flying off the racks.

Suggested Toga Styles:

The Nobleman — This toga is recommended for men. For celebrities and lobbyists, please add the red over toga. One should expect to see such stars as Ben Affleck dress in red robes, along with the lobbyists who fill Invesco Field’s skyboxes.

The Senator — This style is fitting for the Democratic Senators and Representatives attending Barack Obama’s big speech. We suggest the red overcoat toga with a red stripe. It is very regal and befitting of a Member of Congress in the tradition of the most distinguished Senators from antiquity.

The Dress — As shown on the left, “The Dress” style is very popular and conservative enough for the Temple of Obama.

The Traditional — This is most popular style for men and women attending tomorrow night’s speech at The Temple of Obama. Particularly popular among those “clinging” to guns and religion in the face of economic hardship, “The Traditional” is appropriate for any formal or informal event in any season.

Reminder: How To Wrap Your Toga:

 

At the Temple of Obama, reporters are expected to observe a level of decency and decorum demanded by the import of the moment and the presence of The One. No “Animal House” behavior permitted. Specifically, no “Toga” chants

The McCain campaign has a great sense of humor, and loads of snark. This is definitely NOT your father’s GOP.