[Click above to embiggen: some of the creepy skulls that were displayed at the end during the balloon drop at the finale of the Democrats’ convention.]
NOTE: I wrote live recaps of the convention as it was happening each day, all 8 hours of it per day. You’re welcome. All of those are here for you as a historical (if not hysterical) reference, day by day. The Republican convention notes are there too.
Back in the year 2000 (how weird is it that The Year 2000 is now ancient history?), DC Comics ran a series where Lex Luthor ran for President (and won!). He was a Ross Perot businessman who stuck it out and didn’t leave the race, the way that Perot did in 1992…and Luthor defeated Al Gore and George Bush and moved into a kryptonite-decorated Oval Office. Superman was pissed. I thought the whole thing was so absurd and hilarious. At the time.
This morning, I slept in late and rested up, after having covered every night of both parties’ campaigns for the last two weeks. I don’t remember much of the dream I was having, but near the end of it, I realized that Lex Luthor and the Joker were running for president. But, I didn’t feel any need or urge to stop them. It’s not that I didn’t care anymore, so it wasn’t me saying (or dreaming) “F*** it.” It was more like what happens if I’m walking home from the store and suddenly the clouds open up and it pours rain. There’s nothing to do but endure it, get drenched, and try to keep the groceries dry as much as possible. I can’t travel through time and remember to carry an umbrella. I can’t stop the storm from forming. I just have to get wet and deal with it. This too shall pass.
I am not working for either Lex Luthor or the Joker here in 2016 and I doubt I will ever agree to work for another national political campaign. National politics have gotten to a point so far removed from reality where they feel like something happening in a movie and not in real life. I believe that all of us are now just observers and that the results of national elections may even be predetermined. My focus the last few years has been working on the ground with local issues as a citizen sleuth. I don’t even bother with candidates in races, but instead have been using Freedom of Information Act requests to audit spending and piece together wrongdoing in various local and state public offices. And then I systematically confront the various boards with their wrongdoing, forcing change at that local level. It is slow, methodical, and (my boyfriend Justin says) boring work but I like that in a few months I can see results: the lavish trips that elected officials used to take stop; trustees write checks to reimburse the public for things they stole; bad public employees quit to spend more time with their families and bad board members decide to retire all of a sudden. I get more joy out of this than I ever did covering the national political scene, because I feel that being a local government watchdog actually matters…whereas filing another column about the latest scandal in Washington is just more shouting into a thunderstorm. No matter how good of a shouter I am or how witty my shouting, does it ever matter?
Making greedy pigs who stole taxpayer money from a library give it back matters. Getting crooked cops to admit they were wrong and fork over a settlement matters. Freeing a man who was being starved to death in a medical facility matters. The spectacles that happened in Philadelphia and Cleveland might as well have happened on Mars for all they matter.
My attitude towards this 2016 race is largely to be an observer of history, for this race is historic in so many (dare I say) fabulous ways. It’s the first presidential contest in my lifetime that feels like it is about more than just Democrats and Republicans jockeying for a crown. I feel that the real fight is between the Establishment (which has solidified around Hillary Clinton) and What Comes Next (which is the power behind Trump). I also feel that the Establishment is fighting under a banner of Globalism, where the end game is to destroy American sovereignty and erase our borders as prelude to that Utopia that lunatics truly and deeply believe will follow once the United Nations effectively controls the planet. The Establishment wants to end America as a place and a concept and a unique nation and replace it with some new entity that is the United Nations, but turned into a country (and not just an ugly building in Manhattan). Trump, to me, is the awakening of an Americanist giant and an opportunity for people who love America as a place/concept/nation to stand up and push back against the globalists. If Hillary wins, I think America ends with a whimper…but if Trump wins there’s at least the chance of upending the Establishment’s globalist schemes.
I feel that Hillary Clinton sold her soul to Globalism because she wants to be president so badly…and to be the first female president, in particular. For decades, we’ve been conditioned by the Establishment that a Hillary Clinton presidency is just destiny. It was always “the future” in SciFi shows, and now the future has arrived. Last night, she appeared on stage dressed up all in white to accept the nomination. Rebecca Mansour observed today that wearing white is traditional for a royal coronation. Depending on your generation and its pop culture references, Hillary was either Queen Elizabeth/Queen Victoria, Boss Hogg (from Dukes of Hazard), or President Snow from Hunger Games in her bright white pantsuit (which completed the patriotic tricolor she started by wearing all red one night and then all blue the next night, before appearing in all white during the convention’s finale).
The other day, Breitbart ran an interesting article charting all the times in recent years that some movie or tee-vee show pushed the idea of Hillary being president…and the three that I always remembered were:
* The tee-vee show Sliders in 1994 or 1995, making Hillary president instead of Bill in an episode set in an alternate dimension where women, not men, were in charge.
* Hillary’s face appearing on money in the Eddie Murphy movie The Adventures of Pluto Nash, as she was president at some time in the future before the events of that movie began.
* The aircraft carrier USS Hillary Clinton appearing in the Axis of Time series of SciFi novels, which was a ship named after the 44th President of the United States (Hillary) in that timeline.
In 2008 when the nomination was taken away from her, it felt like a new timeline had been created where Hillary would instead be kept from becoming president. The way that the DNC outsmarted and outplayed the Clintons was masterful in that they found the only kryptonite to keep her from the White House: a charismatic black man who struck the perfect balance between being someone that white people enjoyed listening to and black people enthusiastically supporting because his skin was their same color. He looked black, did what white people in the DNC wanted him to do, and could orate like a black preacher when needed. Obama made blacks cheer and whites swoon. Hillary was outfoxed. It was like someone traveled back from the future with a recipe for the one thing that could have prevented Hillary Clinton from ever being president…and then the DNC followed that recipe.
Everything that has happened since, in these strange and Idiocracy-prone eight years, has felt like a surreal, bad dream. In the Hulu show 11/22/63, based on the Stephen King book of the same name, when a man who traveled from the future came back to stop Oswald from shooting Kennedy, the past didn’t want to be changed and would fight back at him in interesting ways. In our world, our tee-vees, books, and movies told us for years that it was decided by The Powers That Be that Hillary Clinton would be president one day (she’s even president at one point in the Stephen King book!). Every time that Hillary’s been let off the hook for something awful she admitted that she did or the Media runs cover and outright lies for her, it feels like the universe is altering itself in such a way to force the destiny of that Hillary Clinton presidency to come true. History is rewritten and reality is altered in front of our eyes to create a more positive narrative for Hillary.
The reporting on the Democrat Convention this week reads to me like something from an alternate universe. The reporters who write about the Democrat Convention being a success were watching some other convention. It was not the same procession of grievances, victim stories, and shouting angrily in Spanish that I sat through day after day (for 8 hours a day!). Similarly, the reporting done by the Media on the Republican Convention in Cleveland was all wrong as well…because I felt out of the two conventions the only positive and America-focused convention was Trump’s. Hillary’s convention was all about carving people into their identity blocs, then telling them they were victims and that Hillary Clinton would “fight for them” because she is a woman. None of it really made sense to me. Trump’s convention was about stating that Hillary Clinton is repeatedly caught lying (which is true) and that she should never be trusted (since she lies and admits that she lies).
Here are 10 other observations I’m struck with today about the Democrats’ convention in Philadelphia:
1. Nancy Pelosi was drunk or has some kind of dementia. She had so much trouble reading and speaking that I felt sorry for her, and Nancy Pelosi is a despicable person whom I never thought I could ever feel sorry for. But, her mind seems gone and has turned to bubblegum-flavored pudding. She also struggled to manage her train of thought during interviews later in the night. Democrats on Twitter said she just had too much wine at some event celebrating the convention, but to me she seemed addled.
2. Harry Reid also seems lost and gone. This is interesting because it feels like we are in a point in history where the Left’s forces in Congress are all aging out but there has been little to no effort to find people to rise in the ranks to replace them. I wonder if Pelosi and Reid protected their turf by cutting down anyone who seemed like a threat or challenger…and that’s why Democrats don’t seem to have a bench of rising stars ready to take over for them. It would be nice if Democrats also lost John McCain this year. I hope Dr. Kelli Ward defeats him in his primary and he’s retired from the Senate. Can you imagine if Democrats no longer had Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, or John McCain doing their messaging? What a joy it would be to never hear from any of them again. I would love to see them all enjoy their retirement somewhere out of the public’s eye. (Yes, I know that John McCain runs as a Republican…but you should notice by now he only does that so he can be used to push whatever “Bipartisan!” agenda Democrats want him to run. The biggest open secret in Washington is that McCain has always worked for Democrats. He is a Democrat with an “R” after his name because that “R” gets him on the tee-vee to attack his allegedly own party whenever the Media wants him to do that. I have always considered him to be one of the Left’s most valuable assets in Congress, aside from Lindsey Graham)
3. Hillary’s all-white pantsuit for the Big Speech was stage managed to make her seem like the White Knight riding in for the rescue. Hillary’s campaign manager is a young gay guy named Robby Mook. I don’t know why she picked him, other than he is handsome and it’s fun for women to have handsome gay men as their friends. I think he’s done a bad job with her campaign so far. That logo she uses now, the “H” with the arrow stabbed through it, looks like it’s a penis, possibly resting across two other penises that are not circumcised. It could also be a sword jutting forward to stab at someone. I think it’s strange and wonder what the rejected logos looked like. Personally, I would have just recycled her branding from 2008 because it was lovely: the word Hillary, with a pretty little Coca-Cola-like ribbon of red, white and blue beneath it. But, Obama had the “O” emblem (which to me always looked like the Eye of Mordor) and I guess Mook thought that Hillary needed an “H.” If you notice, there are a lot of Obama people running Hillary’s 2016 campaign so they are trying to replicate with her things that worked for Obama. Since she’s female, Mook also gets to dress her like she’s a doll…and had her appear first in red, then blue, and then finally white. All of the bright colors she wears are strategically planned, which is something interesting that a female candidate can do while men have to just wear dark blue or black suits. Hillary was supposed to be seen as angelic in that gleaming white, a champion of goodness. Glinda the Good, come from the North, summoned to fight for those who need her. Maybe that’s why that arrow is there like a sword…to have a tough vibe to that “H” logo. No doubt they spent millions researching and focus group testing all of this.
4. The weirdness of the “placards” will always be a mystery to me. Someone, probably Mook, had the idea that the audience in the convention should participate by having to hold up giant placards at some point. This is the kind of idea at a big event that needs to be shot down when suggested, because people cannot follow complicated directions. I know they manage to pull this off at the Super Bowl sometimes, but I can’t begin to imagine how they do that. It is hard getting people to listen. I would have shut this idea down in seconds if it was brought up for any event I had anything to do with. Because twice during the night someone who sounded like an airline flight attendant came over the PA system and gave a lengthy explanation on how to hold up the placards at a certain time to spell out something…but to me the only thing it looked like were skulls. Tiffany blue and white grinning skulls, cackling maniacally. That couldn’t have been what they wanted this to say? Could it? VOTE FOR HILLARY: BECAUSE…SKULLS. Recently, I worked a project where one of the people involved was a complete jackass named Brad. This guy has some kind of social disorder. I think he might have Asperger’s but no one will admit it. He just doesn’t listen and he’s the kind of person who makes the same mistakes over and over again because he won’t listen (and gets mad and lashes out if his mistakes are pointed out). Those placards were something Brad would have insisted on. People like Brad live in the world of “Should,” which is a suburb of Utopia. That’s where things “should work” and “should be fine” and “should go off without a hitch.” I grew up in Cleveland, which exists here in Reality. I’ve never been able to understand guys like Brad and whoever thought the placards “should” work. Moving beyond an event planning perspective, it’s just interesting to me that Democrats don’t seem to weigh pros/cons when doing anything. It’s just full steam ahead under the operating assumption of “it should work.” And when it doesn’t work (see: SKULLS), they just pretend it never happened and ignore it. What difference does it make now? This is really part of the DNC’s DNA.
5. All the shouting in Spanish shows that Democrats don’t want immigrants to ever assimilate and instead want to promote parallel societies/colonies within the US. In high school, I had the choice of taking either French or Spanish for my foreign language requirement. I chose French because I couldn’t imagine ever needing to speak to anyone worthwhile in Spanish. But, I figured I might want to go to Europe one day and talk to someone interesting or important in French, because French to me seemed like a high-class and sophisticated language. Spanish was something that very poor people in horrible places spoke. For the most part, I imagined those people would be very nice…but why would I want to talk to them and what would I want to talk to them about? The places I wanted to go in the world were all places that either spoke English or French. I never wanted to go to anywhere hot, dirty, and poverty-stricken…which are all the places that Spanish is spoken. To this day, there has never been a single occasion where I’ve ever regretted not learning Spanish. There’s never been anyone important that I needed to communicate with who only spoke Spanish and thus it would have been helpful if I knew Spanish. To me, Spanish is the language of poverty and speaking Spanish keeps people mired in poverty. What I see Democrats doing is aggressively importing Spanish-speakers into this country as an impoverished serf class that they want to use to replace black people in most government and political jobs. To better control these people, Democrats want them to keep speaking Spanish. That’s why Democrats want everything printed in Spanish and they had shouting in Spanish at their convention. If people do not learn English, then they do not assimilate and join the melting pot. Democrats want Spanish-speakers to stay poor because that means they will keep voting Democrat. If they don’t learn English, they will stay ignorant of what Democrats are doing and the serf class remains something that Democrats can exploit for generations. Black people should be most upset about this, because Democrats are actively advertising that they are replacing blacks in the Democrat hierarchy but blacks don’t seem to notice.
6. Almost everyone who spoke was some kind of hyphenate, not just an American. The requirement to speak at the Democrat convention was that you had to be some kind of hyphenated minority, the more hyphens the better. You got more points if you were the FIRST such hyphenated critter allowed onto a public stage, because then you proved how enlightened Democrats are for allowing you to speak. It also helped if you had a sob story, like you lost a leg, you had cancer, your father was a janitor who couldn’t read and your mother thought she was a squirrel trapped in a cisgendered bio-female’s body. You had to be angry about some grievance and be convinced that various unnamed groups were plotting against you and holding you back, because of your status as hyphenated-this or hyphenated-that. Remember that Democrats hold power by convincing people that we are not all Americans and that we are not all in this together. Democrats want Group-A to be in opposition to Group-B and Group-C and so on. Democrats have more identity groups and sub-groups than there are letters in the alphabet. It got tiresome hearing from one after another person in the Parade of Hyphens that went on this week at the DNC.
7. Black people in their 30s and younger were shouting about picking cotton and being sharecroppers. I blame Hollywood for this, because it keeps pumping out movies where black people are slaves and reopening racial wounds. The only roles that Hollywood lets black people play are: slave, former slave, maid/butler/domestic help, drug dealer, prostitute, wise janitor, unfairly oppressed kindly black person, civil rights leader and/or victim, or God (but only if it’s Morgan Freeman). The result of this is that Democrats had blacks in their 30s who were shouting about cotton and sharecropping. That’s not their life experience, but they shout about that because they see that in movies and it’s what they think they have to shout about (or it’s what the DNC told them to shout about). Just as Democrats never want immigrants to learn English and assimilate into the melting pot by leaving the old ways of their old countries behind, Democrats do not want black people to move forward from grievances over things that happened decades (or hundreds of years) ago. No mention is ever made of white indentured servants brought forcibly to these shores against their will…or any of the Europeans enslaved by Muslims and the Barbary Pirates. None of that exists to Democrats. They just want to keep blacks angry, feeling like victims, and being used as props/tools when Democrats need them. At some point, there will be a generation of blacks that asks “what the hell are we doing?” and wonders why movies about slavery have to keep being made…and why blacks keep voting Democrat like Lyndon Johnson wanted them to (for the next 200 years). That will be a great day, when blacks wake up. I am not holding my breath for that to happen though.
8. Gays were dragged out and were shouting about guns, but said nothing about Islam. This is a big problem right now, where gays are still pressured to ignore the fact that Islam murders gays all around the world. There is ENORMOUS social pressure to never say anything negative about Islam…because someone will always say they knew a Muslim once who was nice and didn’t kill anyone. Democrats operate under the utopian assumption that sharks are just misunderstood dolphins and that not all sharks eat people, therefore it would be racist to not be okay with sharks being put into every public swimming pool where little kids are splashing around. Since you saw a shark once who smiled at you and was friendly, JAWS is a hateful movie that is Sharkophobic. My take on Muslims is that they should be treated like Russians wanting to come here during the Cold War. Islam should be treated like the USSR…and every Muslim who wants to immigrate here should be treated like a potential KGB agent. Islam is probably the most dangerous and insidious enemy we’ve ever faced because it masquerades as a religion and Democrats want to place Islam up there beside Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc. as if they are all equals…but Islam is more at home being placed next to communism…as an ideology and basis for a system of government. When Buddhists move into a neighborhood, they do not bang on your door and tell you to stop drinking liquor, stop eating pork, stop wearing clothes they don’t like etc. A Hindu will not slit your throat in the street because you bought hamburgers for dinner. A Jew will not demand that everyone in a 50-mile-radius has to change their lives, watch what they say and do, and have their head cut off if they draw a picture of Moses. Islam is an ideology of conquest. Muslims coming to the West are colonists and not true immigrants. The key difference is ASSIMILATION. Muslims don’t assimilate, they assert dominance when they have numbers large enough to do that. Once they feel established enough in a colony, they start bullying, intimidating, and murdering the infidels…pushing out anyone who is not Muslim so the colony will grow. Democrats have a real problem because they want to live in that world of “Should” and they feel good about themselves for being contrarian to reality. Every time Muslims kill someone, they make up an excuse for the killing. In the example of Orlando, Democrats work hard to blame guns (and ignore Islam). Wherever Islam strikes, Democrats shout the thing about sharks being just misunderstood dolphins and knowing a tiger shark once named Bitey who was super friendly and chill. Not all sharks eat people! True, but enough of them do that it’s not true to think that sharks are just misunderstood dolphins, because much fewer dolphins eat people than sharks. It’s foolish to ignore realities just because it’s more fun living in a world where that COEXIST bumper sticker has come true. We do not live in that world because, clearly, Islam cannot coexist with the West. Islam at its core is a conquest ideology and not a religion. No true religion encourages murder of non-believers and subjugation of people and land through conquest. Only Islam wants this. If the COEXIST bumper sticker was a fish tank, Islam would be a shark…and everything else in the tank would be peaceful angel fish, groupers, and tuna blissfully swimming around in harmony right up until the day the shark chomps down and asserts its dominance. For some reason, Democrats want what’s happening in Europe to happen here. Many, many gay men will lose their lives because of this, since Muslims coming here will inevitably cause more Orlandos to happen. But Democrats do not want to admit this reality. The Democrat Party is very much a party of ostriches, not donkeys: you can tell them that something horrible is going to happen, but they will not listen to it. When the horrible thing happens, they want to pretend it didn’t happen or make some excuse for it happening. They never want to address reality. Have you noticed this? OSTRICHES.
9. There were so many celebrities and musical acts that it felt like the Oscars in the 1970s and 1980s. Do you remember the Oscars back when they were their absolute most cheesy? I think the perfect example is 1989’s telecast, which was the one that had Rob Lowe dancing with Snow White and singing Proud Mary. All of this really happened. It was not a Saturday Night Live sketch. The number started with a game of Wake the Dead, where celebrities that people assumed had died long ago rose from tables to prove they were still alive (for that night anyway)…and then Rob and Snow danced. None of it made any damn sense. People watching in the audience were embarrassed. The people who produced the show thought they did a great job. This is how the Democrat Convention felt to me. Elizabeth Banks hosted one night, like an Oscars host. Random people came up to give speeches that listed a bunch of names or said generic things that were repetitious. Then there would be a musical number, from Carol King or Sheila E or Paul Simon or Katy Perry or something. Just like at the Oscars! The show dragged on and on and on so it felt like it would go on forever. It was midnight in several time zones before it was over. And today, after it finally ended, I can’t remember enjoying very much of it or what anyone really said. I just remember that all of the musical numbers could have been cut. A lot of the presenters could have just stayed in the audience. And maybe it didn’t need to go on for four nights when there was really just enough good material to cover two nights.
10. Hillary Clinton’s speech was forgettable and disappointing. I would have written something different for her, instead of the usual tripe she reads (or, really, shouts). Just imagine for a moment we are in an alternate reality right now. Instead of Robby Mook (as cute as he is) running Hillary’s campaign and Huma telling Hillary what to say and do, Hillary is still the person she was in the 1970s and 1980s, calling her own shots (and bossing Bill around). What if Hillary gave a speech in some parallel dimension where she said this:
* HILLARY: I realize that a lot of you out there don’t like me and that my voice grates on you like nails on a chalkboard. I’m sorry for that. At least you weren’t married to me for 40 years. All you men out there, imagine listening to this voice for four decades! I know it’s terrible and I’m not a good public speaker and I’m sorry for that. But give me a chance to tell you why I really want to be president…because it’s not just because I want to be president. Let’s all admit I have a terrible voice and we can’t pretend otherwise but give me a chance to finally tell you why I am doing all this.
* Then, she could have told us some things we’ve never heard: like actual reasons why she feels that she should be president. And it can’t be things like “I will fight for you.” It should be something specific. I can only do this with a really specific personal example that you will have to try to run with, but in the last 4 years I’ve become what I would consider an expert on FOIA and Open Meetings Act laws in Illinois, because I’ve been working on cases where I document violations of these laws committed by public bodies. This is what Megan Fox and I have been working on, and the first of our books written about our work has been published. If I was running for president (in some super duper extra BizarroWorld), I would stand up and tell a crowd that I should be president because I understand that government bodies hide a lot of wasteful spending and even criminal activity and that FOIA is a good tool for uncovering it. I would say that I should be president because I know how to look at stacks of documents and piece together who is stealing from taxpayers by looking at travel and food receipts…and then from there, when I get a sense of which public officials are stealing, I then look at the emails those specific people are sending and I find even more bad things they are doing. I can piece this together in my spare time, working on it a little every day the way that some people build model railroads or chase Pokemon through the streets. So, I would make a good president because I have a book out explaining in great detail how I solve these local government mysteries and if I was president I would have even more access to do this on a bigger scale. Hillary should have articulated something like this…but on her level, with her own actual achievements and insights bolstering her case for wanting to be president. She’s never, not even back in 2008, given any good reason why people should vote for her other than that she is a woman and really, really, really wants this.
* Next, Hillary should have said that her being a woman is a big deal because it’s about damn time we had a woman president and it might as well be her because no other woman ever got it together enough to get to this point. And she should have totally said that she took so much grief just to get here. This would have been a great place for some candid remarks. People are hungry for Bullworth style politicians, which is why Trump is popular. Hillary should have talked about how the DNC and Kennedys screwed her over in 2008. How she was told she had to wait in 2004 to run…wait her turn…and then in 2008 when her turn was promised it was snatched away from her. SO MANY people can relate to this in a work setting. You are promised a shot at some job, told to wait until So and So retires, then you get pushed aside. This has happened to many people. Hillary should focus on this happening to her. She should say that like it or not it is damn time to have a woman president because it is disgraceful that a woman has not been allowed to be president. And once it happens and a woman is president then everyone can shut up about it, just like now that there has been a black person president people had to shut up about that. This would be a major selling point to a lot of men: if you want people to shut up about us not ever having a female president, then just vote for Hillary and get it over with and then you never have to listen to this again. And if she does a bad job, like Obama did a bad job, then there doesn’t have to be another woman president for a while because you would have had Hillary. She really should paint all this like office politics. Say that she’s the woman who’s been working in the office for years. Started as the secretary making coffee. Been stuck at middle management. She’s in the last years of her career and has been waiting for the promotion, so why don’t they just give it to her so that everyone would then shut up. This is all more persuasive than the “girl power” angle.
* If I was her, I wouldn’t have spent much time on Trump…other than to say that she thought he was a joke. If Hillary was smart, she would just keep saying that Trump did all this as a practical joke that went too far. That he never thought he would actually win. She should take this all down to a high school level…and say it’s a case where the jock who doesn’t take student counsel seriously is running as a goof and that he’s popular but everyone knows that he won’t bother to go to meetings and won’t care about putting on the spring dance or getting better food in the cafeteria. Hillary should paint herself as the studious, serious girl who runs for student counsel because she will be at every meeting and will be up all night making the posters for things and that Trump and his wrestling and football buddies don’t give a damn and think it’s all a big joke. She should say that she might not be popular and she might have a voice that people hate but that she promises she will work hard and that she has nothing else to do. This is it. She wants to do this and be president and won’t be screwing around playing golf or doing anything else. She will be in the White House every day working hard and listening to boring people and people who come to her and complain. That’s all she will be doing. She won’t go anywhere fancy. She will not run off and play golf. She is too old to have affairs and all that. She should say she will even stop drinking wine at night, or cut that back to like one or two glasses. Tell people the worst thing she does is drink wine and secretly smoke, but she will try to stop. She should admit she yells at people and throws things when she gets mad, but that’s only because she cares. If she didn’t care and didn’t want people to get better, she would never yell or throw anything. She is like a teacher who is a tough grader because she knows your potential. You can hate her all you want but at the end of the year you will learn the periodic table or Pythagorean theorem or whatever.
* The second to last section of her speech should have been about lying and how she can’t help telling stupid lies. She should say that she needs help and wants to stop doing this, but she doesn’t know how to live any other way because she’s been doing it for so long. She should have said that lying all the time is exhausting, but the lies have built up in a way where she can’t even talk about what she had for breakfast without telling one lie or another. She should say that being president means having to lie about lots of stuff because a lot of it is secret…and then say that she’s gotten away with all kinds of lies that people don’t even know about, so that proves she can be president. She’s actually really good at lying, she should say, even if you figured out a few of her recent lies…or you think you’ve figured them out. If I was her, I would address this topic in this way…say that you don’t even know the tip of the iceberg and that you would be really impressed if you did. I kind of think she has a chance to go Ferris Bueller with this. You know how he would break the fourth wall and talk to the audience, like the camera wasn’t there? Just explain his plan, why he does what he does, etc. Hillary should do that too. It would blow people’s minds. She should paint her lies as being helpful and show how everyone should be thankful she lies so much. Paint a picture of what disasters would have unfolded if she hadn’t been holding the world together through her lies all this time. Make anyone who criticizes her look like Principal Ed Rooney. Her new campaign slogan: “I lie because I care.”
* Then the last part of her speech should have been a rundown of what everyone in her White House would be doing, specifically Bill, Chelsea, and Huma. Because people are concerned about Bill and Huma at least. Chelsea is a lovely young woman but people are irked by all of the highly lucrative jobs she’s landed on Clinton connections. Hillary should explain why there was a need to do that. It can be as simple as, “If you had a daughter and you were famous, wouldn’t you want your daughter to make a lot of money while you were alive and were able to get her those jobs? I won’t be alive forever. While her father and I are here, you are damn right I want my baby to be socking cash away so my grand babies can have that money in the future too.” Something like that. She should talk about growing up middle class but her own mom being dirt poor and wanting Chelsea to have better and her grandchildren to have better. Instead, the Clintons just ignore this and let people be mad. I would address it straight on and also say what Chelsea will be doing in the White House. Will she be the official hostess? It’s hard to see Bill doing any of that stuff. But what will Bill be doing? How will she guarantee that Bill will not embarrass her and chase women around? She should say that Bill is sick and people should just look at him and see that he is too old to do any of that stuff anymore. He’s an old man, so stop it. That kind of frank talk would be more interesting to people than those embellished stories about how much they love each other. She should talk about their real relationship and why she put up with him and why he put up with her and just tell people that their relationship works for them. That they really do love each other, no matter how messed up their relationship is. And she should talk about how mad he’s made her in the past and why she stayed with him. People have been waiting almost twenty years to hear that. And she should just explain who the hell Huma Abedin is, what she’s doing, and say if Huma is or is not a Saudi agent. What will Huma be doing in the White House? Just be honest about that. Did Huma set up that email server? Why? Is Huma holding Hillary hostage or blackmailing her? Are they best friends? Why can’t Hillary seem to function without Huma? Just tell everyone why this is already.
Back in the 2008 campaign, I was lucky enough to be living in Chicago, where many of Hillary’s childhood friends still live. I got to know many of them pretty well back then. They are wonderful people. Most of them are elderly now and I do not believe they are talented enough as actors to be hiding dark and evil secrets. When I say they are nice people, I mean it. In the eight years since the first campaign, I would think that some of them would have let masks slip at some point…but through the years they have remained nice people. I think you can judge most people by the company they choose to keep. Maybe not their family, because people have no choice in family, but people’s close friends are a good indicator of who they are. Bad people tend to have no friends or terrible people as friends. Good people tend to associate with other good people. I don’t know of too many good people who willingly choose to hang around someone terrible.
What I’ve always been told is that Hillary Clinton would make a great president and that she would finally reveal her true self once she achieves that…and that her true self would be something surprising to everyone, because she would be able to be herself for the first time ever. This thought is kind of creepy, in that it’s like Gozar the Gozarian admitting that she can appear in different forms and promising/threatening that one day her true form would appear and it would be surprising.
I’ve been assured that Hillary’s true form would be someone who would work hard every day and not screw around and would make the most of being in the Oval Office. Her big priorities would be jump-starting economic development in big cities, helping black people rebuild their families and move up into the middle class economically, and being a hawk made of iron when it comes to foreign policy and military strength. She would also punish all of her enemies, because she likes doing that. She loves to f*** with people and carries grudges for years and years. Caroline Kennedy, apparently, is on Hillary’s permanent S*** List and is never getting off that. Hence, no Caroline at this convention. If Hillary becomes president, just watch how fast some wind farm project or something will go up right next to the Kennedy seaside compound or some housing project or something gets built right by where Caroline lives. Hillary will think of something creative to do to everyone who has ever wronged her. And she will giggle while doing it.
But, that would be a small part of her day…like what she would do instead of playing golf to relieve stress. The rest of the time she would be micromanaging things. This is where you would need to decide if you think she is smart enough or wise enough to have her hands in everything, because she would not be a hands-off president. She will be going through budgets and spending documents and questioning things. She will work long hours. Once she’s elected, she’s going to stop having her hair done the way people like and she’s going to go back to having weird hair and wearing strange outfits, because that’s how she likes to look. She hates having to look the way she did this week, but people get upset and angry if she doesn’t look like this. She’d rather be in her glasses, with longer hair, and those caftan things that she wore for a while as Secretary of State when she was saying “F*** it.” Remember that back in 2009-2010 or so? That’s how she’d be dressing by summer 2017 if she was president.
Maybe she wouldn’t even try for a second term. Maybe she’d want to be one and done. Second terms are usually horror shows anyway. She might set someone up to be her successor. I am still mystified by her choosing what is clearly a simpleton to be her VP, so she wouldn’t want Tim Kaine to follow her. I think to get back at Obama maybe she would want to have another black president…so maybe she’d convince Corey Booker to come out so he could run as the first openly gay black president. Wouldn’t that be something? I think it could have been a good selling point for her to just run as a one term president from the beginning…tell people she only wants one term. That would have been smart strategy.
To me, the whole Democrat Convention seemed like a wasted opportunity to do things differently. Democrats feel that what they are doing is perfect and that everyone loves it…so they are doing more of it. Personally, I feel that America is hungry for something very radically different. They are sick of the Establishment. If you notice, the Establishment of both parties is working hard to elect Hillary…while Trump is really the embodiment of Something Else.
Democrats won in 2008 and 2012 because there were millions of people who hated the Establishment and felt that both the Democrats and Republicans were both the Establishment, so they sat home. They thought that McCain and Romney were just Democrat-Lite. And they couldn’t be bothered to go out and vote.
I don’t know how anyone can feel that way about Donald Trump. There has never been a clearer choice between the two candidates. Trump doesn’t even feel like a Republican. He feels like SOMETHING ELSE…at a time when Americans are hungry for something else. I really don’t see how Hillary counters that or addresses it by doing the things that Democrats chose to do this week during her convention.
Robby Mook is not the right guy for the job. He’s not ballsy or bold enough. Everything they are doing was planned out when they assumed that Hillary would be running against Jeb Bush. In some parallel universe, she’s doing that and everything is going the way that was agreed upon, where Bush would gracefully lose (and someday his son would get to be President in exchange, as a Bush Democrat). But Trump got in the way of all this and I don’t think Democrats know what to do.
The Media pretends they know what to do, but I think the Media is just aggressively lying again like it always does.
But, more importantly, what do you think?
© 2016, Kevin DuJan. All rights reserved.
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