Mommy Wars are a huge part of parenting and usually waged between working vs. non-working moms. But if you want to know who is really ruining kids, look to the philosophies of permissive parenting and moms who are more interested in being a friend than a parent. This trend is not only popular in Hollywood, but is trickling into suburbia where mothers of teen girls are shopping at the same stores as their teens and hosting parties with alcohol for their underage progeny. If you can answer yes to any of the following questions, congratulations, you are a crappy parent.
3. Are you a stage-parent?
Dina Lohan’s first mistake was getting her little girl, Lindsay, into the entertainment industry. While commercials and off-broadway plays may seem harmless, it can lead to full-on hollywood horror. Strangely, while Disney maintains the best place on earth for little ones, any child sucked into working for Disney doesn’t end up happy or healthy. Very few child stars escape unscathed. Aside from that, hawking your child like a money-making opportunity is just distasteful and I’m sure makes for uncomfortable conversation over holiday dinners while your child is trying to figure out how they ended up with a cocaine addiction to rival Richard Pryor’s. Stage-parenting is not the same thing as parenting.
A classic example is Lynn Spears who allowed a Rolling Stone photographer to photograph her under-aged daughter alone in her room wearing only a bra and panties surrounded by her childhood dolls. Spears then wrote a book trying to explain that she was just naive and had no idea the entertainment industry would exploit her daughter in that way (even though it had previously exploited every other female it got its hands on.) I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure if some creepy photographer tried to get my daughter alone in a bedroom he’d find himself out on the front lawn with a bloody nose. What kind of parent doesn’t protect their child from predators? A crappy one. (ahem…Billy Ray Cyrus.)
We started school in my house on Thursday, and, as usual, the freedom homeschooling offers still takes me by surprise. I’ve been at it for 3 years now (well, 7 if you count all the pre-pre-school that happens before school age.) We have a new grammar curriculum, Shurley English, which I think I’m going to love but when I started teaching the first lesson I realized my daughter already knows this information and I don’t want to waste her time re-teaching it. So I set her up with writing exercises while I perused the book and found the first 5 chapters are a waste for her. So guess what? We’re skipping them! If she were in class with 25 other kids, some of whom don’t know the same information she does, she would have to sit through 5 whole chapters which would take up several weeks of re-learning redundant information. What a waste of her time and talents! Instead, we can just skip ahead and get to the new stuff right now.
Many kids hate school and just get through it as quickly and as mediocrely as they can. Perhaps it’s because their specific likes and dislikes or personal learning styles aren’t taken into account. How can they in a system that has to cater to such a large group of children? Recently, a controversial article was written entitled, “If You Send Your Kids to Private School, You are a Bad Person” by Allison Benedikt that laments parents who want, and can pay for the best education their kids can get. Benedikt supposes all children should be in the public system even at their own detriment:…CONTINUE READING AT PJMEDIA!
From Rapey to Righteous: Can Robin Thicke’s Controversial Hit Song ‘Blurred Lines’ Elevate the Culture?
Fauxminists everywhere are declaring Robin Thicke’s summer hit, “Blurred Lines,” rapey and weird:
Basically, the majority of the song…has the R&B singer murmuring ‘I know you want it’ over and over into a girl’s ear. Call me a cynic, but that phrase does not exactly encompass the notion of consent in sexual activity.
As originally written with the rap, yes, it’s gross. So was the video with the naked supermodels, as is most pop music. That is all true. (Someone needs to record the date and time I agreed with a modern feminist. It won’t happen again.)
However, “Blurred Lines” is a serious jam and I can’t help but turn it up and sing along (albeit without the kids in the car.) Last week, I wrote about the Miley Cyrus twerking incident which involved Thicke, who really should have known better than to agree to perform a pedophilia fantasy with a barely-legal girl in a teddy bear suit. I think we can all agree these are not shining pillars of moral superiority we’re dealing with. The Hollywood crowd seems to be arrested in development somewhere near 15-years-of-age with a fixation on dick jokes and orgasms.
But something happened with “Blurred Lines” that made it palatable even to this Christian conservative prude
If you don’t know what twerking is yet, I’ll explain it one more time. To “twerk”, as the kids say, is not your average Jennifer Gray/Patrick Swayze dirty dancing. In fact, it makes their bump and grind look like the foxtrot. I was in Oklahoma last year hanging out with my cousins at a rodeo bar (yeah, I know it’s cliché but when in OK City, it’s A-Ok to go full-on cowgirl.) I was beyond perplexed when I realized I brought my red leather cowboy boots down hard on some poor girl’s fingers on the dance floor. What were her fingers doing on said dance floor, you might ask? Twerking. Imagine, if you can, what kind of position a girl must be in to have her hands on the floor, ass in the air, gyrating around like an acrobat on LSD. It’s not pretty. In fact, it’s pretty ugly. I can tell you that me and the 5 other people I was with had a great time discussing and laughing (as was the guy she was twerking on, btw.) No one thinks this is sexy. It’s a big joke. It’s as if the guys in the room (not men) are all waiting to see who they can fool into trying this “move” which is nothing more than a scene from a XXX movie.
WHAT: The WLS-AM “Talk Star” Contest for 2013 LIVE! Finale
WHEN: Today (August 21st, 2013) at 6pm CST
WHY: Support our friend Megan Fox for the win!
HOW TO LISTEN: Go to the WLS-AM website here: http://www.wlsam.com and then click on the LISTEN button in the upper right of the screen. It’s a poorly designed website and they make it hard to listen live, but it’s worth it to stare at the screen until you figure it out. There’s also some kind of APP thing for the phone that says “I Heart Radio” but Hell if I know how that works.
VOTE FOR MEGAN FOX — text STAR to 68683 and then choose MEGAN FOX
[ Click above to embiggen: the 2013 finalists for WLS-AM's "Talk Star" ]
Our good friend Megan Fox has entered herself into the WLS-AM “Talk Star” competition again this year; she wrote all about that HERE if you didn’t see it already. I thought we could all listen to her show together and figure out how to vote for her so she can win…but the WLS website gives no indication whatsoever how to do that. Did you ever watch that show “Newhart”, the one in the 80s where Bob Newhart played the owner of an inn somewhere in Vermont (not the other show, where he was almost the same character but was instead a psychiatrist in Chicago in the 1970s)? I feel like his character from that show whenever I go to the WLS website…because it’s like crazy people or children who are supposedly more precocious than they really are built their site. I could not find information I’m looking for there if my life depended on it. I swear I’m only 37 but that site makes me feel like I’m 80 and can’t figure out how to get the VCR machine to stop blinking. It’s just bad.
The only time I ever go there is when Megan’s in some kind of contest, and year after year that site just never gets any better. I almost think it’s on purpose at this point, like they just don’t want people to find the information but they can claim it was on a page somewhere but people were too befuddled to find it. If you are sharp enough to spot how to vote for Megan in this contest anywhere on the website, please chime in below in comments and tell me or email us at (HillBuzz@gmail.com). I sent Megan a text thingy and asked her to give me good instructions so I can post it here, but I never know if I sent that text to the right person. My boyfriend Justin usually handles all this technical stuff but he’s in Arkansas right now visiting his parents…and that leaves me to manage year-2013 technology with my year-1993 capabilities, which is never pretty.
500pm CST – Waiting for the contest to start. On the radio, there’s a lot of commercials for cleaning companies and things. Chicago’s a dirty place, evidently. It’s so weird to hear commercials, since I stopped watching live network tee-vee years ago and I almost never listen to the radio (unless it’s Rush…but even then I just don’t tune into the radio much). I watch everything on Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Instant, or sometimes on the websites for the various networks…so encountering commercials is just bizarre at this point. It’s especially strange because the ones on WLS radio are all for the aforementioned industrial cleaners or concrete companies or home improvement project people. It’s hard to pay attention to any of them.
I don’t know if you remember, but Megan Fox entered this “Talk Star” contest last year and I still have bad feelings over what happened to her and several other contestants back then. I actually think that WLS-AM violated the Communications Act of 1934 (the 1960 amendments)…because I don’t believe the contest was fair last year due to the activity of one of the hosts, a jackass named Bruce Wolf. The Communications Act was amended in 1960 due to the public outrage over the “Quiz Show Scandals” of the 1950s…where popular quiz shows were rigged so that the people the producers wanted to win would win the prizes after receiving unfair advantages. During last year’s “Talk Star” contest live-on-the-air, Bruce Wolf purposefully interrupted, talked-over, and otherwise stole air time from several of the contestants…but not the woman who ultimately won the prize (a woman named Stephanie who marketed herself as a black female conservative…which sure seemed to be the person that WLS marketing and PR wanted to win the contest all along). Stephanie, by the way, repeatedly said over and over that she had no interest in being a “Talk Star” but only entered the contest so she could win the vacation trip being offered.
Megan Fox was one of the people that Bruce Wolf screwed over. I just realized how weird it is that they both have “animal last names”…so it almost sounds like this happened in a cartoon, where “Wolf steals Fox’s time”. But, that’s what happened last year. Megan would try to talk, but Bruce Wolf would interrupt her and would tell fart jokes while she tried to do her on-air audition for the contest. I couldn’t believe it. Bruce kept insisting that he’d eaten onion rings or curly fries or something at the restaurant where the contest was taking place…and he just had to let all the listeners know that the food he ate at the restaurant had given him explosive gas. Meanwhile, Megan (who was up first in the contest) kept trying to speak and Bruce wouldn’t let her get any thoughts out; Bruce was just too obsessed with telling the radio audience about his newest farts. It was so bad, he had to have been doing it on purpose to take her air time away from her…but he did NOT do this same thing to the two black contestants on the show (Stephanie and a man named Faraud Muhammad).
I could live to be 100 and I’ll never forget this, because it was just so blatant. Bruce did it to Megan and then did it to a few other people…but when it came time for the woman who ultimately won, Bruce got astonishingly quiet and allowed her to talk as much as she wanted. He similarly allowed Faraud to speak unhindered as well. This is my own personal opinion, but I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Remember that I was a registered Democrat until the year 2008 and I do not believe in coincidences where elections or contests are concerned. I’m just saying that if I was hosting a radio contest and I wanted a certain person to win, I could think of no better way to stack the deck in favor of that person than what Bruce Wolf did last year…by just interrupting, talking over, and generally ruining all the other contestants’ time on the air…but leaving the person he wanted to win alone.
That’s what I think violated the Communications Act of 1934 and the “Quiz Show” amendments of 1960…because Congress made it illegal to rig contests like that or to stack the deck in anyone’s favor. But, that’s exactly what I believe Bruce Wolf did last year. I don’t think I’ll ever let that go. There should be a giant neon asterisk whenever that “Talk Star 2012″ contest is mentioned due to Bruce Wolf’s meddling in the process.
I just want to be really clear that I don’t speak for Megan on that. While I think she should have won — and would have won last year if not for Bruce Wolf’s interference — that’s just my own personal opinion. She’s a friend of mine, but this is my site and it’s my opinions and she’s probably horrified that I am writing about this. But I just can’t get over the unprofessionalism of Bruce Wolf…especially when big prizes are at stake. Megan does not feel the same way as I do about this and has told me repeatedly to get over it and that she believes it was “God’s plan” for Stephanie to win…but I remain convinced that Bruce Wolf did what he did to stack the deck in Stephanie’s favor at the expense of the contestants whose time he ate up with his incessant fart jokes.
In addition to getting the opportunity to do a two-hour show on WLS (it’s a one-time thing, but that two-hours on the air results in a professional demo tape that’s worth its weight in gold for someone who wants to have a career in broadcasting) there’s also a trip to Mexico on the line too. Personally, that sounds horrible to me, because Mexico’s such a terrible place…but a vacation is a vacation in this economy (and no doubt scores of people would risk Montezuma’s Revenge and other perils in that failed state for some R&R in the Gulf). The woman who won the contest last year said on the air she just wanted the vacation and didn’t care about being on the radio, which I think is just a slap in the face to people who actually want to use this contest to break into the radio business for a professional career. Megan says this woman is very nice and has become a friend of hers now so I promised not to say anything bad about her…but she really said that thing about just wanting the vacation. She can’t take that back and rewrite history now…but I won’t say anything bad about her regarding it. I sure can think it though. Because even if she really felt that way it was still a dumb thing for her to keep saying over and over again.
530pm CST — There’s an obnoxious commercial on now for something called 1-877-Cars-For-Kids…which is encouraging people to give their cars to children for tax breaks. I think I know what they mean to say, and that’s that people can donate unwanted cars to the charity and they will sell them and give money to children’s charities. But, if you are an English-as-Second-Language person (and when the Cocktail Party Republicans force amnesty through to Democrats’ thunderous applause in upcoming months that will be millions of additional people) then I wonder if you’d understand the whole “cars for kids” thing. The jingle just has a bunch of kids screaming into the microphone and “singing” about giving cars to kids…which just sounds dangerous. I wonder how much money it costs to have an ad on this station. Clearly, that “Cars for Kids” thing cost $100 or less to produce as a spot. Maybe the kids produced it themselves….while riding in cars. Cars that people gave them to ride around in for no reason. Because charity.
537pm CST — they’re doing that little news break thing, talking about the San Diego Mayor who has been groping people but who refuses to leave office. I just give up, folks. I really do. The American people keep electing perverts and creeps to office…and even when they are exposed as such these guys still cling to power. It was not all that long ago that guys like this would have resigned in disgrace and would have never been heard from again. I think it was only 2006 when that happened…like when Mark Foley (who molested Congressional pages) and Larry Craig (who was caught toe-tapping for sex in an airport men’s room) resigned in disgrace and ere more or less never heard from again after that. But, here in 2013 we have Anthony Weiner running around embarrassing himself…and actually competing with Elliot Spitzer to be the most disgusting human being seeking elected office in New York state at the moment. And on the opposite coast, there’s this guy in Sand Diego whose name I refuse to learn. Because they are Democrats, the State Media allows them to continue their antics…but, really, these guys should walk away and disappear into the shadows. Before the “Golden Age of Hope and Change” that we’ve been enduring since 2008, I bet they would have.
Though, maybe all of this is a consequence of Bill Clinton’s shame in 1998…and the fact that the Millennial Generation and Generation-Y (my age cohorts) grew up or came of age during the Clinton Impeachment Hearings…and maybe that normalized these types of antics enough for pollsters to conclude that guys like Weiner and Spitzer need to just keep running, despite being depicted as sexual deviants. It’s such a weird time to be an American in 2013…because on one hand the Baby Boomers are in power, with the most radical of them shoving every crazy 1960s Leftist idea they’ve ever had down our throats at every available opportunity…and on the other hand we have the growing clout of kids-turning-into-adults who were raised in public schools that indoctrinated pure Leftism and hatred of America into their hearts. That’s such a devastatingly destructive combination…and we have 15 more years until the Baby Boomers are either all gone or are in retirement homes.
Such a scary thought.
541pm CST — this is the point where I’m waiting for something to come on the air and I start thinking I’m on the wrong channel, because right now several idiots are talking about some kind of sports game. Specifically, they’re talking about Tony Roma’s having “big stats”. I’ve had ribs and barbecue chicken at Tony Roma’s recently (in Iowa, actually, on a road trip with my friend Penny) but I’ve never tried their stats. I think it’s fascinating that straight guys will have long and involved conversations using all sorts of memorized numbers about sports. I believe they’re talking about football, but it could be baseball. This is the cure for insomnia for a gay guy, let me tell you. But, in fairness, if someone was having a conversation about reigning supermodels of the early 1990s I could hold my own and whip out measurements and career highs for Linda Evangelista, Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford, and the like. It’s just kind of amazing to me that straight guys spend their free time memorizing facts about other guys who run around in tight sports costumes…but gay guys have their heads full of trivia about gorgeous women that you’d think the straight guys would be interested in. That’s hilarious to me.
They’re talking about “fantasy football” on the show right now…which, as I understand it, isn’t even real football. It’s some kind of pretend thing that guys talk about, where they imagine that certain guys they like are all on the same team together (and wear jerseys they designed themselves no doubt, if they are bi or at all gay-curious). They’re debating who is the best “tight end”…which is not all that different from a conversation you’d overhear somewhere in Boystown right now, but in a different context.
550pm CST — So, the contest is supposed to start in ten minutes…but they were still talking about “fantasy football”. I know this is probably not true, but if it’s truly “fantasy” then I think they should have unicorns and dragons and things on the team. Maybe they could limit the number of creatures on each side — so it could be both fair and more realistic — but if they insist on using the word “fantasy” then they should be required to engage in at least something remotely fantastical.
Now it’s a commercial for “It’s Just Lunch”…where people can call and be on a date tomorrow. I’m sorry, but this “It’s Just Lunch” thing is just sad. There is something wrong with the guys who would participate in this. I know that a lot of women want to meet a guy and might not know how to go about it…but no man, straight or guy, who is worthwhile lacks the ability to find himself a date without resorting to a dating service. Especially if he has to pay to do this. If you are a woman and you hear the “It’s Just Lunch” commercials and think “I should try that!” then maybe you need to also think about what sort of men have been scraped from the bottom of the barrel and are ready on a moment’s notice to have a date with “It’s Just Lunch” clients.
There are so many better ways to meet good, quality guys. You should try church first…and join the Ladies’ Guild and get to know mothers and grandmothers who have nice single sons and grandsons. Another good idea is to lookup the baseball, soccer, rugby, and other amateur sports leagues in your town. Start going to those games…and strike up conversations with the women who are there rooting for their boyfriends. Make friends with them…and then they will introduce you to the cute single guys on the teams. I think that’s a better time investment than the “It’s Just Lunch” garbage. And it’s FREE! If my boyfriend Justin really does end up moving back to Arkansas to live with his parents again, then I’m totally going to become a fan of the Lincoln Park sports leagues and find a new guy this way myself. I think it’s a genius plan. Feel free to co-opt it for yourself, because we’re friends like that.
600pm CST — I swear it’s 6pm CST and the station says it’s WLS, but they’re still talking sports garbage.
Oh, wait…they just said the Talk Star thing is starting. Hooray! I hope that jackass Bruce Wolf controls himself this time and doesn’t interfere with the contestants.
The newscaster is saying people are complaining about Bradley Manning’s sentencing and are asking Obama to pardon him. Just watch: Manning will be pardoned in 2017 as Obama leaves office. I bet the deal on that is already done. The Millennial generation thinks it’s cool and “Jason Bourne” to steal state secrets and reveal them to the world…treason is sexy to these idiots.
They say the average ACT scores in Illinois are 20 points lower than in the past…but the school administrators say that the kids are not dumber. The tests are just Ray-Ciss, I guess. That’s the way to explain away all poor performances by the students in public school. In reality, the kids aren’t learning because the teachers are terrible…and the teachers are terrible because teachers’ unions exist and allow terrible people to be teachers. The public schools are an unfunny joke…and it’s all because we have not yet outlawed public sector employee unions. The scores will not ever go up unless that happens.
606pm CST — I think the contest is starting. Nope. Psych. More commercials. They’re also saying that Millennials are buying things online and are “living digitally”. Do people really need to be told this, or can’t they just observe that around them?
Now it’s the traffic report. The thing is, in Chicago, the traffic report is the same every day. If it’s light out, the roads will be clogged with cars on any highway. It’s because all the roads here were built to handle about half the amount of cars that actually are on the roads. Thank the geniuses in academia who did the traffic projection studies in the 70s when this infrastructure was built. Those are the same Leftist academics who pretty much control our entire government right now too, by the way.
LIVE! from the Improv in Schaumburg…the “Talk Star Finale!”. Let’s hope the hosts don’t cheat again this year.
That jackass Bruce is talking now. He’s such trash. He tries to do that “morning zoo” type thing….where he makes obnoxious “jokes” that only he thinks are funny. Jackass.
Who on Earth thinks this man is funny? He’s like a reject from the Poconos.
They’re announcing the judges. It’s all people I’ve never heard of. Some woman from somewhere. A lady from the marketing department. That woman who won last year (but only did it because she wanted the vacation).
611pm CST — First Contestant: Laura Kelly from Oak Brook. She says she’s scared, but wants to be a Talk Star. She says she moved to Oak Brook 26 years ago and everyone out in Oak Brook tells her she should be on the radio. I hope that’s not them saying she’s ugly and has a face for radio. I have no idea what she looks like, but she sounds like a nice woman. She’s using her time to talk about some old apartment building she lived in that had a grocery store in it. Laura says she is a libertarian and likes Rick Santelli. She says enough regulation, enough taxes, enough Leftist orthodoxy. She works for Goldman Sachs and says it’s a “different Goldman Sachs”. That made no sense. She says she dropped out of college to work at Goldman Sachs, but made enough money so she never had to go to college. This is a weird conversation. She talks about an exit strategy to leave Illinois, but her family is here. She likes to golf she says, but she gets bored at nine holes. That doesn’t sound like she really likes golf all that much. Though, truthfully, I’d get bored before I got to the little windmill or pyramid at mini-golf. That obnoxious Bruce keeps trying to make stupid jokes…but he’s not interrupting her like he did to people last year. I think someone took him to the side and stopped that. Bruce has told her she needs to sing and is screaming at her to tell people her favorite song. Bruce is complaining about having to be up since the morning — so why don’t they have someone else host this contest then and let Bruce sleep right now? Laura says she has three children who vote Republican. I really don’t like this woman, for whatever reason. Bruce makes his first fart joke of the night at 6:16pm CST… a horn blows to call time and Bruce says it was his farts because he had artichoke dip. That’s the kind of humor this man puts out there. It’s always about farts with this guy.
– Commercial Break –
It’s that “Cars for Kids” commercial again…donate your car to kids today. It’s a song…and they spell something out, but for the life of me when people are singing and spelling I become mesmerized and never catch any of it. It’s like people are talking pig Latin in front of me and I don’t understand a word of what they are saying.
Now, it’s some commercial for “the virtual last mile” that helps people learn how to keep up with changes to their cell phones for business. What the Hell kind of thing is this?
There’s a commercial for some college that powers itself using energy from cows…bovine energy. I don’t think it was a joke.
And then they’re talking about a viral video on YouTube of some woman who did something, and now she’s going on a cruise thanks to her viral video. I think it’s this one:
621pm CST — They say you can vote: text STAR to 68683…which counts for 20% of score.
VOTE FOR MEGAN FOX == text STAR to 68683
A “conservative Hispanic” is up next…what do you want to bet the station wants her to win this time, the way they wanted the “black conservative woman” to win last time. The marketing department loves that.
CONTESTANT 2 = Jasmina something or another. She’s Hispanic. You’ll hear that about 100 times. She peppers her speech with either Spanish words or with words accented with Spanish-inflection. Like you see on tee-vee. She also does that thing where every fifth word is said really loud. Like, “They are THERE…like Whos in Whoville they are THERE.” Jasmina is flirting with Bruce big time. She says she wants to stay in Illinois, but she says there is a pension liability in Springfield. She says she came from the East Coast to Illinois. She says she doesn’t look Hispanic and doesn’t have a Virginia accent even though she lived there. The one thing I will give this woman is that she does behave like the women they have on morning shows…when the woman acts like a sidekick and just makes little voices and things in between the men talking. She’s doing exactly that thing. She says that even in Virginia she was listening to WLS…which sounds like she’s just sucking up. Dan Proft asked her about the “War on Women” since Jasminia is both a woman and a Hispanic, so she’s a minority. Raise your hand if you’re sick of everything being about minorities. We live in the Tyranny of Minority in the year 2013. Can’t Jasmina just be a conservative woman…why does she need to try to score more points for being a conservative HISPANIC woman…especially since last year’s winner was the conservative BLACK woman. Do any of you out there get tired of the pandering like this as well?
– Commercial Break –
VOTE FOR MEGAN FOX…text STAR to 68683
I have no idea what they were just advertising, but it was a creepy old woman talking about dragons. And it was something to help kids with school. After that, there was a commercial about Asthma. That was the Will Rogers institute, which does not support dragons.
The news brief is talking about some kids who were almost hit by cars somewhere after school. I guess that’s a news story. Since something almost happened.
Now it’s a woman who sounds like she’s having a stroke, breathlessly talking about errors the government has made collecting data on people. She says the government will admit its mistakes. Don’t hold your breath, breathless woman.
Geesh, the news is depressing. Now it’s someone who almost kidnapped someone. And then on a campus somewhere a person shot someone with darts. I can see how if you listen to the radio all day you’d be cationic and terrified of the world, the way that Justin’s parents are so scared of everything. It’s because they only hear “news” like this constantly.
633pm CST CONTESTANT 3 = It’s 89 degrees…on channel 89 WLS. Live in Schaumburg. Bruce Wolf (the jackass) and Dan Proft (who is professional) are hosting this contest. So far, Bruce has made one fart joke but has not really interfered with any of the contestants like he did last year. This contestant says she is a suburban soccer mom who likes to drink wine, she’s Jennifer Gulberson Sale. She says she’s in a nerd beauty pageant come true. Jennifer says she is a big fan of Real Housewives. She comes off as an airhead. She said that “who isn’t under indictment?”. Dan Proft asked her about Lisa Madigan and Mike Madigan…and Jennifer just giggled and said “yah, they’re messed up”. She does that Valley Girl thing with her voice….where every sentence ends in a question mark and a high pitch. They’re talking about something called Bennett Academy, where her kids apparently go to school. Her husband is from Germany and she’s saying Deutschland is king. I beg to differ, Jennifer…you fool. Germany tried twice to be “king” and thank Zeus the US was there to stop that. Fool. Jennifer says she writes about nonsense and covers entertainment stuff on some site she has. I really don’t like this woman. She comes off as one of those Real Housewives people. She calls everyone a “goddess” or a “king”…she likes Anthony Weiner and calls him “Tony Sausage”. She says her kids are there and she’s talking about porn and then giggled hysterically. Bruce asks her about Benghazi and I half expect her to confuse that with Ben Vereen. She dodges the question about Benghazi and instead talks about “the dog getting on the plane”. She says “you’re talking to me like I’m blonde and don’t know nothing” and then giggled. Dan Proft asked her if she knows how to get home from here. That was TERRIBLE. Jennifer’s performance, not the thing Dan Proft said. The thing Dan Proft said was accurate.
– Commercial Break –
Megan made me promise to be nice to all the amateur people competing in the contest. And I am really trying to be. But, that Jennifer woman who was just on was irritating. And I really don’t like the whole “we have to have a minority win!” mentality that drives someone like Jasmina to say again and again that she’s “Hispanic”. I totally forgot about the first woman already, but if I strain to think about it I remember she made a lot of money at Goldman Sachs and doesn’t have to work anymore. So, good for her. But why does she need a free vacation and a radio show? I am being nice though because I promised I’d be nice.
6:44pm CST CONTESTANT 4 = A guy who was on last year. Megan knows him and says he’s a nice guy. He’s a black Muslim named Faraud Muhammad from Evanston. I actually like his radio voice. He was also a finalist last year…and he was one of only two people last year who was allowed to speak without interruption. Just him and the ultimate winner, Stephanie. Both black…and both were allowed to speak without interruption while everyone else was interrupted completely by Bruce Wolf. Funny how that worked out. But I digress. Faraud is talking about Benghazi, saying that “BHO was able to sleep at night during that anyway”. Faraud is a standup comic too. But he stumbles over his words a lot. He tries to use very long and complex words, but he stumbles getting them out with this timing. He does come off as a very nice guy though who I think would make a fun friend to have. I’d like to meet him and would be okay with him winning tonight because he’d be able to carry a show of his own, clearly. They ask him his favorite movie of all time…and he says 2001 Space Odyssey and he talks about how the film was shot and he’s doing a HAL impression. Faraud is likable and can do good impressions. They’re asking about Benghazi and Egypt…but he’s dodging and goes back to entertainment stuff. He says he’d like to do an interview show, and that he likes Bill Whittle on PJ TV. Bruce Wolf has no idea what Faraud is talking about. Faraud talks about how he would run a show and how he’d like to have guests on…so that tells me he knows what he is doing. He goes there, though: he refers to himself as a black Republican and says he statistically doesn’t exist. They had a black winner last year, though…so would they choose a black winner again? The horn blows calling time and — of course — Bruce makes a fart joke about the horn, saying “Faraud that was very inappropriate of you”…as if Faruad had passed gas. Gross. Not funny. But this is the only thing this Bruce guy does. It’s like Shecky Green broadcasting live from the Pine Room of Camp Little Otter in the Poconos.
– Commerical Break –
Megan’s up after the break. I know she will do well. Being as objective as I can, her only competition is Faraud Muhammad…who I think could run a very good show of his own. The other people didn’t take this seriously, and that Jasmina just wanted to keep telling us she was “Hispanic” (with the silent part being “you need to pick me because I am Hispanic and Hispanic is very in this year”).
The prize is a limo ride, trip to Mexico, two hour radio show, and professional headphones.
652pm CST — MEGAN FOX turn: ”a homeschooling, tea partying momma grizzly”…from IntolerantFox.com and PJ Media…Megan Fox from Mokena. YEAH! Vote for MEGAN!!!! Talking about crime and violence in Chicago…iPhones stolen…flash mobs…I can fix it…I believe that God gave us a backside that is properly cushioned on one side to be beaten with a heavy stick…should you steal the iPhone you should be brought to “The Bean” in Chicago…build a platform in front and put them in front, pull pants down, and let the victims of crime take big paddles and go to town in front of peers…bring the stocks back. Corporal punishment. Bruce, the punishment works…maybe your mother didn’t give you enough. Homeschooling parent…rule of law in my house. Still legal to discipline your children on rear. You need to discipline these bad boys so they don’t get up for a week…then you get the nuns to teach them the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the transformative powers over these thugs. Dan says the Catholics need to take over the schools and the police department. What do you do for fun? I garden. I have a huge garden. We grow our own food so we have our own organic food to eat and we grow in back yard. I have a big dog named Moose. And homeschooling is really fun. You should see my life. I have nowhere to go and be with my kids and do fun things and projects. Homeschooling is not drudgery. It is freedom. The good news is that my children can learn any time all day and they are not standing in line, eating in a cafeteria, there’s no nonsense. They are free thinkers. I am raising free thinkers. I write about lifestyle issues. I brew our own beer. We grow our own hops. Bruce is shouting at her if they drink their own beer. They’re trying to tell her that her time is up and Megan says she has a big stick…says Obama speaks softly and carries no stick.
I just love her. I really do. She’s fabulous.
She kind of left Bruce shellshocked. Proft said that people are coming back for 90 seconds…or in Megan’s case, anything she wants.
This is all funny because last year Megan went first, and Bruce stole all her time with fart jokes. Megan was really polite last year and let him get away with that. So, it’s funny for me to see Megan get some revenge tonight and dominate her segment. Dan and Bruce kind of treated her weirdly because she did that…and she sure was the most forceful of the contestants. She was no-nonsense. That’s who she is…so if you like that, you’ll lover her.
I’ve thought since the day I met her that her destiny is to have a radio show. I think she should have won last year and should win this year….and that’s not just because she’s a personal friend. I just think she’s the best, she’s earned this, and she’d make a great show. But, I have no idea how they’re going to judge this.
Personally, I think they’re going to go with the “Hispanics are hot this year” thing and just give it to that Jasmina because she’s a “minority”…even though they had a minority winner last year. If they play games like that then everyone is a minority in some way. I’m gay, so I’m a minority. Megan’s a homeschooler…so she’s a minority. You might have a cat, and the majority of pet owners have dogs…so you too are a minority. Everyone’s a minority and we should all be celebrated and should win everything!
Either Megan or Faraud would be able to put on a good show…though I’d personally most like to hear Megan’s show.
In fairness, I want to state for the record that this year Bruce Wolf did not do anything to stack the deck or interfere with some contestants. He let people speak and didn’t monopolize this contest like he did last year. So someone clearly talked to him and took him aside before this show. I am so happy about that…because whoever wins the contest should be fair and should not be rigged from the start for one person like it was last year.
– Commercial Break –
Mattress commercials about memory foam…beds that will change your life…sleep numbers…whatever. A bed is a bed. I have never understood the fuss over mattresses. I’m from Cleveland and back there we were just happy to have anything to sleep on at all.
Weather forecast…thunder storms, cloudy, 82 degrees tomorrow. This has been a freezing cold summer. I look forward to sweltering 90-95 degree days and a lot of this summer I had a sweatshirt on. Where is all the Global Warming that Al Gore promised us because I never even made it to the beach this year.
708pm CST — back at the Improv in Schaumburg. Isn’t that a hilarious name for a city? Now they are explaining the voting. They’re going to get another 90 seconds to tell us why they need to be the Talk Star. I would bet any money that Jasmina will tell us she should be picked because she is Hispanic. The judges are some woman named Lauren Kone from WLS, Chet Copit (sp?) from a steakhouse somewhere (I have no idea who this is, so he might be a sports person…clearly he’s no supermodel or I’d know who he was), and then that woman Stephanie who won last year. Oh, and the Promotions Director Something Something Lynne. She’s a judge too. That Bruce is so stupid…he has no idea what he’s doing.
Megan comes on to make her 90 second pitch: The reason I should be the next Talk Star is because I have an interesting lifestyle. The government is being more intrusive in our lives. We can change how we live, become less a part of the machine. Pull your kids out of the indoctrination centers. Send to private or homeschool…do not leave them in a dangerous place. I would like to talk about how homeschool is better than you have been told. You can grow your own food. Make your own stuff. Tons of ideas that we do that you will really like. I think there are ways to help young people when bored to go to a book instead of killing someone (like in the news recently). Give them morality. I am Megan Fox and I want to be your next WLS Talk Star.
VOTE MEGAN FOX: text STAR to 68683
Faraud’s 90 seconds…he says he is doing this to pay tribute to his mother. He has a nice radio voice. He says his mother raised him to get a bachelors and a master’s degree. If more moms would have self sacrifice and emphasis on work ethic and hope then he guarantees that there will be fewer people in neighborhoods being bad. He kind of stumbles and loses his train of thought. This is a memorized speech or it’s written down and he stumbles. So the mom stuff was contrived. He stumbles and stutters at the end. But I still like him. I just don’t like people who bring out the mom card to score points, like at an awards show or something.
Jennifer Gulberson Sale…her 90 seconds. She says her daughter told her that she did a bad job. She says, “I’m an expert on nothing and I bombed”. Let’s just not make it a thing. My life is not complete. Seriously, I should be the next star because I like to have fun and I am about nonsense and I make people laugh and Anthony Weiner is hysterical and lets have fun. I am unemployed and looking for a job. My kids need to eat and they are here and don’t make me look like an idiot in front of my kids. Bruce, let’s talk about porn. Porn! I don’t take things too seriously so vote for Jenn. This woman is really irritating.
Jasmina is up…let’s see if she mentions being Hispanic again. She says, what does WLS stand for? Where Listeners Speak Up (but, there’s no U in WLS). Tell Springfield that things can’t go on. We cannot spend money we do not have. We cannot borrow money we cannot pay back. I don’t want to be Detroit I want to be Chicago and it was a great state. I got “peeps” here from all over. Here’s a shootout to Kim at Hot Cuts for $16 and I am frugal. Running, taking care of my kids…. HORN BLOWS and cuts her off.
So she didn’t mention being Hispanic again…but I bet she would have if she had more time.
Laura something or another…gives her 90 seconds. Says she wants to get rid of Pat Quinn and Dick Durbin because of Obamacare and she has had it. She wants to say everyday that it’s another day closer to the end of Obama’s term and it makes her happy. She loves WLS-AM and she thinks that she is borrowing a phrase from Obama about jobs and she goes to bed with Bruce Wolf and Dan Proft and wishes that Obama would think about jobs all day. She thanks everyone for coming and now she wants to text people and she wants to be “voice for positive” (sic).
That woman irritates me too. There’s something about her that I just don’t like.
Here’s my ranking of the contestants:
* Megan Fox — winner in my opinion
* Faraud Muhammad – second best
* Jasmina the Hispanic Woman — not good, but better than the other two
* Jennifer Gulberson Sale — she was terrible gulberson awful
* Laura Whoever — honestly I can only remember that she worked at Goldman Sachs and made so much money doing that back in the day that she has just been looking for a hobby since…and that’s kind of a slap in the face to the other contestants who are looking for this opportunity to really jumpstart a career.
My gut is that the marking/promotions person will want Jasmina the Hispanic Woman to win in 2013, since Stephanie the Black Woman won last time. I don’t think there’s a doughnut’s chance in Oprah’s vicinity that Jennifer or Laura will win. So, Megan’s got a one in three chance of taking the prize this year.
Please vote for her: not only does she deserve it and it would change her life but she also would do a really great show.
TEXT the word STAR to 68683 and then vote for Megan. So, on your phone, go to send a text and put the word STAR in the text and then send the text to the number 68683. And then a menu will come up and tell you to push a number for Megan Fox. Choose that number and vote for her!
726pm CST — the voting closes in three minutes.
Apparently they will announce the winners soon. I guess there is voting going on in the restaurant. The audience vote counts for 20%. Then there are people voting by text. And then there are the judges too.
They’re talking about the idiocy of the Iowa Caucuses and how voting goes on there. How people cheat and stuff ballots and all that nonsense.
– Commercial Break –
736pm CST — that jackass Bruce Wolf is talking again. I just hate him. He’s introducing last year’s winner, that Stephanie.
Megan says she’s a very nice woman. She hosted “several shows”. Her claim to fame is having six kids and being a black conservative. So they picked her last time. She says she is “the Harriet Tubman of the conservative movement”…which I think is obnoxious of her to say. I know about Harriet Tubman. Harriet Tubman was a grade school report subject of mine. Stephanie is no Harriet Tubman. But I promised Megan I would be nice.
Stephanie comes on and says she is doing “fab-u-lous”. She says the questions asked this year were tougher than the ones asked of her. I agree. She got soft ball questions last year and was not interrupted once by Bruce (almost as if the deck was stacked so that she would win last year….funny how that worked out, in my opinion). Stephanie says she never called the station ever, had never wanted to do radio, but just wanted a phenomenal trip and that’s why she entered the contest. This is what irks me about this woman. She keeps saying that she was motivated by the trip, not the being on the air part. I just think that’s so wrong because the contest is the “Talk Star” contest…not the “Who Wants to Go on Vacation?” contest. Now she’s talking about her husband being a cook and how that made her fat but she still runs marathons even though her toenails fall off (but then grow back). I think there’s a powerful meaning or analogy in that somewhere. Stephanie says she set up her fan page and she has fans now and she likes when people invite her to things. She wants Illinois to not be a place where people are fleeing. She says that this is a good time to live in Illinois, despite all the people fleeing in droves. Now she’s saying that she might run for office too. She has a third grader and an 8th grader and she says she’s “not that vain”. She says this is an opportunity to talk to people and go out and meet people…and she gets a warm response when hosting the shows.
She’s complaining about someone who criticized her because she says “you know” a lot as a verbal crutch. But, she needs a thicker skin if she wants to be in radio…especially speaking on the conservative side of the aisle. I just still am bothered by her saying she just wanted the vacation. She might be the nicest woman in the world — and Megan says she is — but she should have had class enough not to say that. At least pretend you were interested in being on the radio and having a voice, not just doing this to get a free vacation. People with class take the prize but never let on that they were doing something just to win a prize.
— Commercial Break —
740pm CST — they are about to announce the winner.
I hate waiting for results when there’s one person I want to win. The anticipation sucks.
The judges are going to announce the winner.
Lauren Someone Or Another is announcing the winner.
Tension. Tension. Tension.
Lauren has a smoker’s voice.
And the next Talk Star is…Laura Kelly from Oak Brook.
That woman from Goldman Sachs? Geesh.
I didn’t see that one coming.
I thought she was the worst one and was rambling and made no sense.
Though, at least Jasmina the Hispanic didn’t win…just because she was “the Hispanic”. I really wish Megan had won, or if not her then Faraud.
This woman…I swear. They have this Laura talking after she won and they asked her what she would do on a show and she said she had no idea, she’d have to think about it. I know she’s excited, but she comes off as an airhead right now. At least she hasn’t gone on about how she just wanted the vacation. She says she did not sleep all week and has been nervous, playing solitaire on her cellphone. She said that is how she focused herself this week.
I still don’t know how she won or what she said that made people vote for her. Maybe she had a lot of friends there in the audience. She just said she was the PTA president so maybe she worked a network. I don’t know.
But the other thing I’m happy about is that Bruce Wolf didn’t cheat again this year and he didn’t interrupt anyone. No decks were stacked. Everyone had equal time. And for some reason this woman from Goldman Sachs won, even though she said nothing memorable.
This is the first and only time you will ever hear anything from this woman Laura Kelly…but I guarantee you will be hearing about both Megan and Faraud in the future, because both of them have the talent and smarts to make something of themselves in the industry. They just seem to be destined to have to claw harder for it and never give up.
Ugh…but Megan always says things like this are “God’s plan” and I trust that she knows what she’s talking about and that’s true.
I just wish I could have rigged this contest for her somehow (and I probably should have at least tried).
August 19: Thanks so much for voting. I’ve made it to the Top 5 and will be performing in the live show on Wednesday evening at the Improv in Schaumburg at Woodfield Mall at 6pm. If you can make it to cheer me on I would love it! If you want to reserve a seat just go to THIS LINK and put in your email address. Thanks so much for your support. Hopefully, in two days, I will be the next WLS Talk Star!
(Older post) Hey everyone! I know it’s been awhile…actually it’s been since the last election when I drowned my sorrows in macaroni and cheese for a solid three months. Since then, I haven’t had the will to write anything… so sorry for that but it is what it is. There is exciting news however! WLS-AM is holding the Talk Star competition again and I’ve entered again and have been chosen in the top 10 again! Weird, right? I figure there are about 9 other nerds like me who are desperate to be on the radio which is why I keep getting into the top 10, but whatever the reason it’s happening again and I need your votes to get to the Top 5 and the finale live show on August 21. I think we only have until this Friday to vote although I would advise to keep voting as long as the page is up.
Like last time, we vote the Chicago way in this competition! There is no limit on votes from the same device! This is good news for those of you who have long commutes or downtime. I need you! It’s so easy too. All you do is go to THIS LINK which looks like this
If you want to hear the audition you click on my picture. To vote go BELOW the photos where the giant arrow is pointing and click my name and then vote! To vote multiple times, simply wait for this to appear…
I know that with your help I can get a shot at winning this thing again. Please take some time today and vote for me. If I win, I get a 2 hour talk show on my favorite station AND an adult trip to Mexico…which, believe me, this homeschooling mama needs! Thanks friends!
Everyone’s back to work from the 4th of July celebrations. What stories in the news are piquing your interest today? Egypt is one hot mess and the Zimmerman trial is in full swing. Any predictions as to how things will turn out?
Feel free to share!
For my neighbors in Wisconsin, Frankie has got a weather warning for you.
(I’m a huge fan of this guy)
Hope you’re enjoying a spectacular Independence Day and remembering the sacrifices that people made to keep us free. I don’t know about you, but I feel like the luckiest person on earth to have been born in this great Nation. Please share your thoughts about this day(after you put down the hot dog and sparklers).
From a devoted reader of HillBuzz
[ Click above to embiggen: what will be most important for 2013? ]
We’re in the countdown to big “Pride Parades” around the country this coming weekend…and so we’re continuing out look at questions people have about the “gay community” that you hear the State Media talk so much about. Here are some things that readers want to know:
1. QUESTION: What do gay guys really think about women who come out to gay bars?
ANSWER: Gay guys on the whole hate women coming to gay bars in groups…but one or two women friends in a larger group of guys is okay. Bachelorette parties, however, are universally despised. A few years ago, in fact, two bars in Boystown here in Chicago banned bachelorette parties altogther: Charlies (a western bar that becomes a techno dance hall late at night) and Cocktail (the now-defunct bar on Roscoe at Halsted that was shuttered multiple times in recent years for not paying its taxes). Charlie’s made a lot of news in the past for also charging women $20 covers to enter the bar, saying it was “Guys’ Night”…and challenging the convention that women pay little or no cover at most straight bars but men are charged $20 or more to enter. Women howled about this…but, frankly, I think a gay bar SHOULD charge women a high cover if straight bars are charging men outrageous amounts. Fair is fair…and maybe that would lead to no bars having one price for men and one for women.
There’s a bar in Boystown called Kit Kat that actually caters to Bachelorettes on Saturday nights. They have drag queens and hot bartenders/waiters and the whole place is set up for straight girls from the suburbs to come down to Boystown to “experience” it. I have mixed feelings about all this. On one hand, I can see why women want to come to a gay bar for a Bachelorette party…since it is guaranteed to be a safe place where men will not hit on the women and they can be “wild”. There’s hot guys (which women like) but they are all essentially defanged for that evening…since the boys are interested in each other and the women want to look but not be touched. Kit Kat is one of the smartest businesses in Chicago because it recognized it could corner the market on these Bachelorette parties. I swear, if you want to make a fortune where you live you should consider opening up a gay bar that devotes Saturdays to drag shows and Bachelorette parties…because you would mine gold and print money in that place. You will turn off a lot of your gay clientele…but I think it would even out with what the Bachelorettes would spend, especially if you have barely dressed go-go-boys and maybe even a corner racket selling some of the lewd and “outrageous” Bachelorette party accoutrement that the women spend hundreds of bucks on (such as plastic penis hats, penis shaped cups, etc…which also could come in handy if a surge in Japanese immigrants ever settles in your area, since they could use all this for their Kanamara Matsuri rituals too).
The big gripe you hear from gay guys about women coming to Boystown in groups is that it makes the guys feel like they are animals in the zoo that these straight girls are there to gape or laugh at. I just don’t think this criticism is valid, though, because I’ve never seen women pointing at gays like “Ooooh, lookit! Fags!!! Real life, honest to goodness, fags…right here in River City!!!”. Please. I do grant that the women can get really obnoxious and falling-down drunk…because they lose their inhibitions since they feel like they don’t have to watch how much they drink without predatory heterosexual males around. Women in a gay bar feel safe…when in a straight bar they have been conditioned to think that every guy around them is just waiting to drop a date rape drug in their drinks. That’s because the State Media has terrified women about this…in much the way that these fear-mongers claim that every storm on the horizon is “The Storm of the Century!”.
In a gay bar, women know they aren’t going to be hit on by gay guys…so they drink and drink. A few interesting things happen with this:
* the really pretty girls who are used to never paying for anything in a straight bar and having to fight men off with their purse get angry all of a sudden and usually cause drama…because it’s like they have lost all their magical powers and they resent having to pay for drinks. The prettier the girl, the more she will hate being in a gay bar the longer she’s there…because she will crave the attention she gets at the sports bar she normally goes to.
* the heavier girls with “pretty faces” that straight guys call fat discover gay bars and never want to leave…because a lot of gays see these women as living Barbies and volunteer to make them over, just like you see on tee-vee. It’s an almost irresistible impules in a lot of gay men to start trying to fix a woman’s hair or give her makeup or fashion tips, especially if these guys work at salons or in the retail industry. It really is true that gay guys are great at, and love giving, makeovers for women who are diamonds in the rough.
* women are really cheap in bars, I think because they aren’t used to paying for things in straight bars. Some of them don’t even know they need to tip the bartender…or they just leave 50-cents or a quarter, whatever is change from the chardonnay they are drinking. Standard tip is one dollar per drink, but more if it’s something complicated. Most guys leave a buck for every beer they drink in a bottle…and two bucks if it’s any kind of mixed drink requiring two or more steps. Some women who do not go out often order very complicated things like daquiris and special martinis that bartenders have to look up in their little books…and then the women stiff the bartenders on a tip. This builds a lot of resentment.
* some women, as they get drunk in a gay bar, forget that the night is not about them believing they are the reincarnation of the cast of “Sex & the City”…and that actually all the gay guys there don’t give a damn about them. Women have the attitude that “this is our special night out and you will make it magical for us!” when all the guys around them are like, “No, this is just Monday night in Boystown and you are making too much noise and being obnoxious and I can’t wait for you to leave”.
Personally, I’d take a female friend to bars in Boystown for a fun night. I’d take two female friends as well. But, three or more might be too much…unless we’re going to Kit Kat where they purposefully cater to that kind of night. Just the other day I saw a group of girls from one of the colleges here in Chicago out with their lone gay friend, and I think it was his birthday or something. The girls were obnoxious and one woman in a green dress was so drunk that she’s unforgettable: she was walking like everything below her knees was made of rubber and the floor was revolving underneath her, kind of dragging her along. I remember it was this pretty emerald dress with very intricate embroidering that was probably very expensive…until it was soaked in vomit, urine, and feces by the end of her night. Bless her heart. Her male friend was mortified…and kept apologizing to other guys for the behavior of his friends. I thought as a group they were really sweet though…because it was super clear to me that they were treating their gay male friend to a night out for his birthday and the guy looked like maybe he had just recently come out. He still had that bewildered look of a newly liberated gay, free from the closet for the first time ever…and being overwhelmed by everything he was seeing and experiencing. Some of the girls looked really uncomfortable, so they had probably never been in a gay bar either…but they were there with their friend. I kind of loved that.
By and large, though, gay men often act like little boys with forts in the backyard. That’s their turf, and women who come into gay bars are kind of invading gay guys’ little clubs. Legally, there’s nothing that the bars can do to deny public accommodation to these women…but the customers can glare and glower and make snide and catty remarks. Depending on the gays in a bar, that could involve guys telling the women they “need to douche” or saying the women smell like “fish”…that sort of vagina-based verbal assault on women that gays specialize in. For drag queens, the ones that are especially passable as women are called “fishy” for this reason…and “to serve fish” is for a drag queen to get dressed up to particularly look like an actual woman, and not a man dressed as a woman.
2. QUESTION: How much money do guys in the nightlife industry make in Chicago?
ANSWER: Not as much as you think. But there are lots of different roles in the nightlife world, and each bar or venue is a little different.
Bartenders at a very successful gay bar would probably make $50,000 or so a year, almost all of that unreported to the government. Gay bars do this thing where they have employees claim just $5 or $10 a day in tips on their FISA forms…but the guys make hundreds of dollars more than that a day. They have no fear of the IRS ever auditing them, though, because they are gay businesses and Democrats would never allow that. Even that bar Cocktail that I mentioned before stopped paying its taxes entirely, I think because the bar’s owner decided that he just didn’t need to do that since it was a gay business. The City closed him down once…and then said, “Oh, be good now!” and let him reopen again. But he still wouldn’t pay the taxes and they closed him down again. Then they said “Have you learned your lesson?” and they gave him a second, third, fourth, fifth, and eleventy-eth chance after that…and finally the guy just shut the bar down for good. The space has now reopened as a bar called “Progress”…which is hilarious, because the joke on Halsted is that “Will progress include paying any taxes ever this time?”. I don’t know if it’s the same owner and the staff there won’t talk about who’s running the bar.
At middling, less-crowded bars I bet the bartenders in Chicago in 2013 make around $35,000 or maybe $40,000 tops. That’s based on what my friends in the industry have told me and also what I observe of the sort of lifestyles these guys live. Few of them own their own apartments…and almost all of them have roommates, even into their 50s and 60s. Some of them even have other jobs, like being firemen or school teachers or working for a temp service or something. No one is getting rich bartending in gay bars…but it’s the sort of job that people kind of fall into if they love to drink and they enjoy being out all night and working in an office is just not for them.
The security guys and barbacks (bartending assistants) make very little, and are often paid a combination of hourly wage plus a cut of the nightly tips. I think they’d all be around $25,000/year more or less in Boystown. Income for all bar positions fluctuates wildly though. The summer brings in the most money…because people are out, it stays light longer, and guys just love drinking all summer when the weather is so briefly gorgeous in Chicago. In the winter, few people want to go out in the bitter cold and revenues drop in bars across the board.
The male strippers in Boystown are an interesting bunch…who are the most open and honest about what they make. ALL of their money is off the record and in the form of cash tips, with none of it tied at all to any sales…and thus the IRS has no way of ever even guessing how much the strippers are making (unlike waiters or waitress or even bartenders, where the IRS could say “you should have gotten at least 15% of your night’s sales in tips”). With strippers, whatever is stuffed into their jockstraps is money the IRS doesn’t have easy knowledge about (unless there are IRS agents doing the stuffing…which no doubt there are, since an awful lot of government workers frequent male strip clubs…which makes these places so great to get political scoops). I think most strippers seem to make around $30,000…but obviously the better looking ones make more than the tragic cases.
Strippers who also prostitute themselves make the most. There’s also this thing here in Chicago called ModelMayhem.com, where guys sell themselves online as “nude models” or whatever. I think they have this in other cities, but about 80% of guys who work in the bars in Boystown have ModelMayhem accounts…and I think they make themselves available to bar patrons after hours via that site. This is all off-the-record money, too.
Something really interesting has happened to porn actors in recent years…in that they’re not making hardly any money these days. Amateur porn sites like XTube or GayTube have really gutted the porn industry, because average people who are exhibitionists are now posting nudey videos of themselves online…so people just go to those sites and watch as much porn as they want for free. Guys 50 and over buy porn DVDS (with guys like 70 and over probably still into video cassettes)…but younger guys (say, 40 and below) just watch everything streaming online. There’s a really famous porn actor named Zeb Atlas who is a big muscle guy….and he started off making only straight porn, but when he could not make enough doing that he switched to gay porn. Now, I think he’s also doing “escorting”…which is prostitution. One of the gay papers in Chicago recently ran a story about how porn “stars” can make as much as $120k a year…but only if they “escort” on the side too. It used to be that guys were paid thousands of dollars for appearing in a few porn scenes…but now they’d get a couple hundred bucks, because the demand for those DVDs has really gone down.
People talk about newspapers and magazines going under because of the Internet and people’s desire for free online content…but the porn industry is collapsing too, since everything’s going digital and amateurs are willing to give away for free what the professionals used to be paid fortunes for. I know, you probably aren’t losing any sleep or crying about this…but it’s still an interesting facet of our world changing that the State Media will probably never talk about.
ODDS & ENDS: Here are some of the big stories being pushed on Drudge Report today:
*Paula Deen has been dropped by Smithfield Hams and apparently QVC as well. This is because of her being called a “Ray Ciss” because she admitted to using the word “nigger” 30 years ago. Meanwhile, no black person ANYWHERE is being fired or dropped for anything…and black people say “nigger” all the time, left and right. I seriously need to sit down and make a list of about 10 black people who have used politically correct language at any time in their lives…including saying the word “nigger”…and demand that all those people be fired too. This is how conservative people need to respond when the Left fires up the Alinsky “Ray Ciss” Death Star and aims it at someone. Who are some black people you know of in the celebrity world who have ever been politically correct at any time in their lives? Let’s demand they all be dropped from sponsorships and receive a little Paula Deen treatment too. Fair is fair.
* Edward Snowden is on the run! He’s evading authorities like he’s Jason Bourne and James Bond rolled into one! Doesn’t this strike any of you as suspicious? Yes, the guy worked for the NSA…but nowhere is it stated he was field agent trained or is some sort of super genius. I think there’s a deliberate misinformation game at play here…and the purpose is to make this young traitor into some sort of antihero. The more he runs and escapes the authorities the sexier the story becomes. My gut is to say this is all to distract from the IRS persecution scandal…because what harm has really come to the NSA with all of this being exposed? Around the world, people are now terrified that the US government has near-magical powers to spy on all of them. Couldn’t that actually hinder a lot of terrorist plots…if it’s made Muslims paranoid into believing everything is bugged? Maybe the NSA program really isn’t all that effective…but making people afraid of the program achieves the desired result. Remember Alinsky Rule #9: the threat is usually more terrifying than the thing itself.
* The Girl Scouts are in trouble because they have a near $400 million pension deficit. They also recently removed “God” from one of the oaths that they take as scouts. I say let them fend for themselves then…and good luck solving that deficit, dummies. I think all of these once traditional American organizations have been fully infiltrated by the Left…and that it is an effort to destroy all of them from within. I think the Catholic Church has been infiltrated as well. We all know the public school system was lost a long time ago. It’s tempting to be depressed about things like this…but we’re all better than that. Put the energy you feel going towards sadness or malaise and find a way to divert it into something positive. Start thinking about simple ways you can go a little outside your traditional wheelhouse to spread the word that the Left is systematically destroying everything in this country…in a longterm attempt to wipe out American culture and replace it with something unrecognizable.
* One thing being lost in all this talk about the Amnesty bill that Marco Rubio is pushing is that there’s no way we should allow bills to be thousands-of-pages long behemoths. I never hear anyone talking about this…but why do bills need to be thousands of pages long…and voted on before anyone has even read them? Shouldn’t this be illegal? Something as complicated as changing our immigration system should not be rushed at full speed by people who don’t know what they are doing, especially since the laws on the books currently are never even followed. Making a new law that no one has read will not help this situation. How do we restrain Congress and force it to pass only smaller bills that have been read and thoroughly understood before passage? The problem right now is that Congress is out of control and every day finds a new way to do something outrageous. Maybe we really will need to have a Second American Revolution at some point, with people taking back power from Washington. I think there should be prison sentences for any Senator or Representative who votes on a bill without reading it and fully understanding it. Start sending some of these elites to jail for dereliction of duty and Washington would be a much better place…and I think only people who really were good at this work and really wanted to work in the jobs would run for office. Hold them accountable with more than just challenges to their re-election…hold them accountable with prison terms if they do any harm to their constituents while in office because of their gross incompetence. I know it will never happen…but sometimes just talking about things like this openly makes the Congress Critters nervous enough to start behaving for a while.
QUESTION FOR COMMENTS: What questions do you have about any of the above…or about the gay community in general, during this “Pride Month”? Ask below.
What else is on your minds this Monday June 24th, 2013?
– Open Thread –